Chapter 49 - Princess Aurora - Sleeping Beauty
True Love's Kiss
"Bella, it's almost time for you to go if you don't want to be late," Phil says softly as he pokes his head into Mom's room.
I gasp a little and look over at the clock on the nightstand beside her hospital bed. "Oh, crap!" I exclaim. "I completely lost track of the time."
He steps inside, just to the foot of Mom's bed and almost as if he can't help himself, he reaches a hand out and strokes the side of her blanket-covered foot. "I kind of thought you might have. I heard you reading and I know it was getting to the good part, so I figured I'd better interrupt before you got too much further."
He grins at me knowingly. It's been so nice having him here this weekend. In fact the past week has been great … except for that whole not being able to see Edward thing. Other than that very important fact, spending time with Phil has been good for both of us. We've gotten so much closer since he was here during All-Star break. I glance down at Mom's still face, and I know she'd be really happy about it. I'm not glad he got injured, even though it was just a sprained finger, but I guess on a MLB pitcher nothing's taken for granted. The time we've spent with each other has really helped our relationship and it's given me another extra little push I need to move forward.
Toward Edward, with Edward.
The instant his name forms in my mind, my nerves explode and every inch of my body is filled with tiny sparks and I tingle all over. My chest tightens and my pulse races, and all of a sudden I just want to crawl back in my bed, pull the covers over my head, and stay there and let the world pass me by.
"Hey, you look like you got freaked out there for a second. It's okay to be nervous, Bella. It's a new school and you'll be meeting new people, but I know you'll have a great day," Phil says quietly. He extends his free hand and rubs my shoulder in support.
I am nervous about starting a new school, of course I am. I'm not exactly shy, but I am quiet, observant. My school in Phoenix was so huge, probably at least twice the size of Forks High, and at least three times as many students. Here in Forks, it's going to be much harder to blend in. This summer it was kind of easy to keep to myself and I needed it, the time to get myself together and heal, but I know once I step foot on that campus, things are going to change. It's not as if I won't stand out like a sore thumb; most of the kids I'll be going to school with have been around one another their whole lives. As the new girl, I know that everyone will be curious. As hard as I try not to, I'm so worried about no one liking me. Obviously I'm not worried about Edward; not Emmett, Jasper, Rose, and Alice either. They all seem so nice and from what Edward keeps telling me, really excited to meet me.
It will be nice to have friends, again. I had a small group of friends that I hung out with, but when Mom got hurt and I'd withdrawn so completely, it was as if I'd just faded away. I guess in a way I had. I know I certainly didn't make much effort to talk to anyone, and I basically just went through the motions for the most part.
Once I get to school today, there's no more hiding.
I don't want to any longer anyway and, well, I'm pretty sure Edward won't let me.
And again, cue the swarm of butterflies trying to beat their way out of my stomach as soon as I think his name.
I don't think I'm going to make it past the first class without throwing up.
I close the book and stand up, leaning over to kiss the side of Mom's head before I turn to Phil. "I'm going to go get my stuff, then I'll come find you to say goodbye, okay?"
He nods, but doesn't look up. He's staring at Mom and I figure he needs a few minutes of alone time to say his own goodbye to her.
It's hard walking out of her room and toward mine. So, so hard. The urge to throw myself next to her bed and not leave her is so strong. With each step the guilt and the grief and the sense of despair threatens to overwhelm me. My chest tightens and my stomach rolls even more than before and my legs feel like they could give out at any moment.
Once inside the comfort of my own room, I close the door behind me and lean against it, letting it support me while I try to catch my breath. "God, when will this not hurt so much?" I whisper as I bend over, clutching my stomach.
The worst part? I know Mom would absolutely abhor me acting this way. She was strong, seemingly fearless even when I knew she really wasn't, and so brave. After Dad died, she could have crumpled beneath the weight of her pain, but instead she moved forward. She tried … she did.
Just like I want to do.
After one more deep breath I look up. The first thing my eyes find is Edward's pen on top of the notebook beside my bed. The smile that spreads across my face works to tamp down my out of control emotions and focuses them on where they're supposed to be … where they're meant to be.
On Edward … always, always on Edward.
Because of him, I know I can get through today. And the day after that, and the next one, and the next one.
"Okay, Bella, enough freaking out for one day. You have an important date." I roll my eyes at my ridiculous pep talk, but it does the trick.
I walk to my bathroom and look at myself in the mirror, wondering if I should take my hair out of my ponytail. I know Edward likes it up, but even I have to admit I'm having a pretty damn good hair day, so down it is.
I stare at my reflection and after a silent but blunt appraisal, I give myself a quick nod and turn back toward my room. Backpack, schedule, a few notebooks, and of course my silly pen and then I'm ready to go. Keys and cell phone in hand, I meet Phil in the kitchen.
"You look like you're ready to go," Phil says as he leans against the island.
"As much as I'll ever be," I tell him, but I can't help but grin a little.
As nervous as I am, I really excited, too.
He sets his coffee mug down beside him and then walks toward me. "Depending on how the rest of the season goes and then playoffs, it might be awhile before I can come back here. You'll let me know if you need anything?" he asks.
"Of course, but I'll be fine."
He tilts his head to the side and a soft, genuine smile appears. "I know you will, Bella. I'm so proud of you," he says slowly. "Being here has been good for you. I wasn't sure, especially with ..." He looks off in the direction of Mom's room. "I know you feel sometimes like you're all alone, but you're not, okay? Even if I'm on the road, if you need me, I'll be here."
I nod, feeling too many things to get my mouth to work.
"Besides, someone has a birthday next month. Let's see if we can work out something to spend it together?" he questions.
"I'd like that."
"Okay, I'm hitting the road as soon as I shower, so I'll be gone when you get done at school. Text me later and let me know how your day was and we'll talk this weekend. I'll be in Chicago, but Saturday's an early game so I'll call you afterward."
"Good luck," I tell him and smile because Phil really hates the White Sox.
He pulls me in for a hug and kisses my cheek then the top of my head. "I love you, sweetheart. Have a good week and don't forget to send me a text later, just to let me know your day was okay."
"I love you, too, and I won't. Be safe going back to Seattle." I hug him, hard, one more time and then hurry out the door.
Walking to my car I'm in my own little world. Of course I'm thinking about Edward which seems to be an all the time thing these days, when I see my notebook beneath the windshield wiper. He was here … last night. Wow. Slowly I walk around the car and pull it from beneath the wiper blade, not wasting any time opening it. I flip through the pages, and realize with a start how much I miss his letters. Emails and texts are great, listening to him talk is even better, but I miss seeing his handwriting, miss feeling his words. I skim the letter he left because I'm too impatient to read it slowly, then once I've devoured each word, I start over again, savoring this time.
I sigh. I needed that, so much, and I didn't even know it. He did though, because well, he's Edward.
He's so wonderful.
Once my backpack is in the passenger seat beside me, I take a deep breath, and put the key in the ignition.
It's time.
No more waiting. No more hiding. No more excuses.
I'm going to see Edward.
Soon.
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
I step to the side and take a deep breath. Jesus, this shouldn't be such a big deal. Of course Edward is in there, somewhere.
That makes this about the biggest deal ever.
One more deep breath and I walk inside. A quick look around and it's a lot like my old school in Phoenix. The Spartan emblem embedded into the floor, flyers cover a huge bulletin board announcing sign-ups for one club or another, white butcher paper posters with 'Welcome Spartans' line the walls. Two huge glass cases filled with trophies are in the center of the far wall.
There are people everywhere. Laughing, talking, looking at schedules together. Everyone's so familiar with one another and for the briefest of moments, just a flash, I want to turn around and go home. But I can't, I won't. Not when Edward's so close.
People point as I walk by them. I can feel numerous sets of eyes on me, but not the ones I want. There's no warmth, no tingles, so I know he's not close by, not yet. I move a few steps farther inside, sweeping my eyes from left to right. They flit from person to person, then stop on a small group to my left. A huge guy with short dark hair and arms as big as cannons stands beside the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen. He leans down to say something in her ear and she smiles, making her look even more beautiful, if that's even possible. The whole group laughs when she says something back to him, and his megawatt smile shows off dimples I can see even from this far away. It's obvious how close they all are.
I wonder if they're friends with Edward. I think they must be.
The other people in the group, a girl with long, straight black hair and glasses, stands next to a guy that looks like an All-American boy next door - short blond hair, Polo shirt, and jeans, a nice smile that shows off his perfect teeth. The two are holding hands, though they don't cling to each other as they all talk amongst themselves. The other two, a really tall, somewhat skinny guy with dirty-blond hair has his arm wrapped tightly around a petite girl with short, dark hair. They are obviously boyfriend and girlfriend. Every time she moves, he does, even when they are talking to the others in the group.
If these are Edward's friends, and I'm betting they're Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper … it's no wonder he came looking for me. They all look so happy with each other; I can only imagine how it would feel to be the odd-man out.
I turn away before they catch me looking at them. Talk about embarrassing. I swing my backpack around so I can unzip the front pocket and take out my schedule. I fumble with the paper while I try to get the pocket zipped back up so nothing spills out. When I finally do, I glance around and then I feel it.
Tingles.
Sparks.
Warmth.
Edward.
Right there. Right in front of me.
Oh.
Ohhhhhh.
Oh my.
Edward is definitely hotter than his dad.
EPOV
"Edward, if you don't get a move on, you're going to be late," Mom hollers up the stairs at me.
I make some sort of sound at my reflection in the mirror and ignore her. It's not like I don't know what time it is anyway.
Believe me I know.
I've been watching every single second pass by since I woke up … before my alarm this morning.
After making it back home from dropping off the notebook and inside without detection, I collapsed in my bed, and was asleep within seconds. In the next one, I bolted straight up in bed, covered with sweat, my heart beating a hundred miles a minute, and the biggest fucking smile on my face. I'm pretty sure if my mom would've walked in my door just then, I would have freaked her the hell out because she would have thought I'd lost my damn mind.
Honestly, who could blame me because today's the day.
THE day.
Bella day.
I stare at myself again and then whip off my shirt, hating the way it looks on me. I mutter all the way to my closet and try to figure out when in the hell I turned into such a God damn girl, but holy shit.
It's fucking Bella Day.
For a second my mind wanders and I wonder how hard it is to add a holiday to the calendar, because if any day deserved to be celebrated, it's today. I pick out a different shirt, one Mom picked up in Seattle on the way home from Alaska. It's some blue and white plaid short-sleeved, button-up shirt and I suppose with my white t-shirt on underneath it doesn't look half bad. Cargo shorts and my favorite pair of Nikes and I guess it's as good as it's gonna get.
I want to look good for Bella, but I don't want it to seem like I'm trying too hard because that's just pathetic.
I freeze when I walk back out of my bathroom.
In a little over an hour I'm going to be able to see her, touch her … and fuck me, kiss her.
I lick my lips. Smooth, a little chapped, but not too bad. I hold a hand up and blow then sniff. Minty, but I make a mental note to grab a pack of gum on my way out the door. I look down and run my hand over the front of my shirt, no wrinkles thank goodness. I take a step then stop, reach between my legs and adjust … much better.
I grab my backpack and sling it on my shoulder. Keys, wallet, and cell phone go into the pocket of my shorts and then I pick up my soccer bag. I'm not going to feel like practicing today, I'm already tired and the day hasn't even started yet, but Coach didn't ask me if it was a good idea. I take a step then pat my pocket and pull out my cell phone.
No missed call.
No email.
No text.
Son of a bitch.
I tighten my jaw and close my fingers around my phone and try not to freak the fuck out. I didn't really think she'd call this morning, but I did think she'd send a text or something at least. Deep breath, in then out. It's early. Phil's still there.
Maybe her battery's dead.
Maybe this is too much for her.
Maybe she's not coming.
Maybe she's decided that she doesn't want this … want me.
No.
No, no, no! No fucking way.
Breathe in, breathe out.
I play back our conversation from last night and remember how her voice sounded. Excited, a little scared, and so fucking happy I could almost see rays of light shining through the phone.
"Calm down, idiot," I chastise myself.
I know today's going to be hard for her. I know leaving her mom for the day is going to probably feel like cutting off her own arm, but I also know Bella's going to do it. She went to Seattle for a week, so she can do this. I know my girl and she's so strong, so fucking strong, and she's come way too far to stop now.
I know it.
Less than fifty minutes now.
I make my way downstairs and grab a glass of orange juice and sit down to eat breakfast with Mom and Dad. We talk about our plans for the day, and it's amazing to me how quick and easy it is to get back onto a schedule. Dad's work, my practices, Mom's volunteer work, dinner - normal everyday things that before Bella I would have just taken for granted, but now, mean so much more.
After scarfing down my food, I run upstairs and brush my teeth again - can't be kissing my girl with bacon breath - and then tell my parents goodbye.
"Don't forget to look out for the new girl, dear," Mom tells me as I walk through the front door.
The twisty turny thing comes out to play and I hurry to the car, more anxious than I've ever been to get to school, which makes the actual ten minute drive feel like at least an hour … probably longer. I spend the entire trip glancing at my phone in the passenger seat, flipping through the radio stations, then turning it off just in case I can't hear my phone vibrate with a message.
I pull into the nearly empty parking lot and find the spot I always park - the far left corner - but facing the soccer fields, so that when I'm done with practice I don't have to go too far. I grab my stuff and get out, running to the locker room to drop off my soccer bag. By the time I walk back outside, I wait for Alice who has just pulled in.
"Hey, Ali."
"Well, look at you. Don't you look nice today? Trying to impress a certain mysterious drummer girl that you've been obsessing over for months?" she teases as she bumps my hip.
I don't say anything. I can't. My throat's completely dry and the lump inside of it is the size of a soccer ball.
Thirty minutes to go.
Holy shit.
"Bella's going to be fine, Edward." She says it quietly, but without a hint of doubt. "I can't wait to meet her!"
She grins at me and bounces a little in her Alice way and I just smile, because I know they're going to be great friends.
"You guys need to take it easy, okay? She's going to be really nervous," I warn her.
Alice rolls her eyes and opens the heavy glass door leading into the school. Angela and Ben are already waiting for us, as is Mr. Banner.
"Chill, Edward. It's not like we're all going to tackle the poor girl."
I can't reply because by this time we're standing with the others. As the four members of the Student Council … Angela, President, me, Vice-President, Ben, Treasurer, and Alice as the Secretary, we have to welcome the students and help the younger ones, the incoming Freshman mostly, find their homeroom assignments and make sure to answer any questions they have like where the cafeteria is or how to find the office.
Forks High isn't huge, but I remember when I first started here and saw all the older students walking the hallways. It can be a little intimidating.
Mr. Banner gives us our instructions and we stand around and talk until the first throng of students starts to arrive about 7:45. School begins at 8:15 and we had to be here by 7:30, way too damn early for the first day of my senior year of high school, but it's not like I could say no.
Five minutes pass and suddenly the hall is full of people. Parents and students and teachers everywhere, and the noise level goes up and up. I'm pointing and talking and feel a bump into my elbow and I whip my head around.
Emmett.
"Dude, why the hell is it always like this on the first day of school?" he asks, shaking his head.
Rose is chatting with Alice and Angela and I give Jasper the manly, cool, chin lift because as usual, he's got his arm wrapped firmly around Alice and he's not in a hurry to let her go.
"It's insane, but so far so good," I tell him, having seen only a few students who looked like they wanted to make a break for it.
"Any sightings of you know who?"
I scan the crowded hallway looking for long brown hair, but there's too many people to even tell. Besides, I don't feel her, and I know I would if she were close by.
"Nah, not yet, but there's still twenty minutes before the bell rings. I hope she's okay," I trail off. I grab my phone again and check, just in case.
Nothing.
He slaps me on the back. "Okay, man, I'll see you in Econ."
I glance at my watch.
Any minute now.
It has to be.
"Ah, Mr. Cullen, things seem to going smoothly. No issues so far?" Mr. Banner asks a few minutes later.
"Um …"
And the words die because she's here.
I can feel her.
Right here, right now.
She's fucking here.
Frantic, I scan the crowd. Mr. Banner's talking to me, but I have no idea what the hell he's saying. He could be telling me Mike Newton came to school naked for all I care. From left to right my eyes sweep, but I still can't see her. My heart's racing and the deodorant I put on this morning after my shower is getting a workout, so I know she's close. The hair on the back of my neck is standing on end and the twisty turny thing is wound tighter than a damn corkscrew.
Mr. Banner leans to the side to talk to a teacher passing by and then …
Holy shit.
Brown hair, brown eyes, gorgeous face, and a smile … my smile.
Bella.
BPOV
Green eyes.
He has green eyes.
He never told me his eyes were green and even if he did, there's no way I would have ever, ever, been able to do them justice in my imagination.
They're the most incredible eyes I've ever seen in my life.
They widen and I'm gone, lost in the pools of glass bottle green. I'm so gone, fallen so deep, that I don't ever want to come out.
Edward.
Oh my God.
I know my mouth's hanging open, and there's a buzzing in my ears, but I can't be bothered to look and see where it's coming from. Besides, nothing else matters because he's less than ten feet away from me.
The tingles and sparks, the exploding fireworks and the crackling electricity from a month ago is nothing compared to what I feel right this second. Everything around me is moving a mile a minute. There are voices, footsteps, the creak of lockers opening and the clanging when they close.
A bump of my shoulder, a murmur of an apology, but nothing can tear my eyes away from him.
He's beautiful.
He's perfect.
He's so, so mine.
His hair's as crazy as he said it was, and my fingers twitch. I want to touch it just to see if it's as soft as it looks. He's tall, a lot taller than I thought he'd be. His nose is slightly crooked, though not surprising I suppose since he's played soccer for so long. Wide shoulders, legs that, oh hell, if they look that good in baggy cargo shorts, I can't even imagine how good they look in soccer shorts.
His smile though, his smile causes my heart to pound, my pulse to race, and liquid fire to spread through every part of my body. Perfect lips curve in the most perfect way. A lopsided smile where the left side of his mouth lifts a tiny bit higher than the right.
And he's smiling, at me, like he's been lost for days … months … years even and he's finally found his way back to where he belongs.
I can feel my eyes burn as they fill with tears.
How … how is it possible to feel so much at one time? Like crying and laughing and screaming and singing and crying some more. I gulp, trying to breathe, but I can't.
His eyes widen again and I can tell he wants to walk forward, but I shake my head. Time, oh God, I just need a minute, a second, to get control of myself. A deep breath, and hold, then I let it out slowly. Once, then twice, and I can feel the surge of emotion settle back down to a manageable level.
I can't move. My feet are stuck to the floor. I want to go forward, but my legs won't allow me to. A flood of memories in my head.
Holding my dad's hand while at the same time holding an ice cream cone in the other. Sitting in the kitchen with my mom after school eating sugar cookies and drinking milk. Sitting on my dad's shoulders while I put the star on top of the Christmas tree and smiling down at my mom who clapped like I'd just painted a masterpiece.
A casket covered with an American flag. Hundreds of men and women dressed in uniform, a sea of dark blue and shiny gold.
Hospitals and doctors with stoic faces and nurses dressed in scrubs covered with too bright flowers.
Tubes and machines that make whooshing noises.
Standing in a driveway watching a car as it gets farther and farther away.
Then there are new memories.
Drumsticks and a notebook.
Tentative steps forward, the beginning of a friendship.
A song. A smile.
A silly pen.
Trust.
The baring of a soul.
Comfort.
Need.
Cookies.
Excitement and want.
The sound of a voice. Electricity.
More cookies. A CD. Finger touches, hand holding, never wanting to let go.
Words and thoughts and feelings. Open, honest, true.
Edward.
A step forward, then another.
EPOV
"Yes, baby. Yes, yes," I murmur, urging her with all I have to keep walking forward.
To me.
God, she's gorgeous.
My body screams at me, every inch begging to just move, to take a few steps closer to her. It's where I'm supposed to be, where I need to be, but I don't move. This has to be her choice. To try, to take a chance, to believe … to begin living for herself again.
Not just because of me.
But for herself.
I can see the guilt in her eyes, see the fear of going forward without her dad, and without her mom.
"Trust me, Bella," I whisper.
Her breath catches in her throat, almost as if she's heard me, but over the commotion all around us, I know that's impossible. She can feel me though, that I know for fucking sure. The way her eyes are dilated, the way her fingers curl and uncurl, the way she keeps biting her bottom lip … oh yeah she can feel me.
"Almost, baby. Come on."
Christ, I just want her here already. I want my arms around her, her chest pressed against mine. I want her hands on me. I want my fingers in her hair. I want my mouth on hers, and I want to know once and for fucking all if she tastes as good as she smells.
She's moving, a step. Another. One more, this time surer. And another, this one with a brilliant smile on her face. So close, so, so close.
Until she's here.
Oh my fucking God.
Neither of us say anything; we just stare at each other. My friends are around somewhere, but all I can see is Bella. My Bella.
Without saying a word, I reach for her hand and slide my fingers between hers. She sighs and I know I do the same. To be able to touch her while looking into her beautiful brown eyes is almost more than I can take. She closes her eyes and I see a tear slip out of the corner of one. With my free hand I ghost the tip of my finger beneath her eye and gather the moisture there.
Warmth. It's everywhere, burning where I touch her skin.
She gasps or squeaks … I don't even know, but it's adorable as hell.
When she opens her eyes, they're shining, but not from tears of sadness but pure unadulterated joy if the smile on her face means anything. I feel my mouth lift, and I know I'm smiling, too.
I mean … she's fucking here!
I take a step back, hating it, but there's something I need to do first.
I twist our hands so that our palms touch and my hand is wrapped around hers in a handshake.
"Hi, my name's Edward Cullen. I'm the senior class Vice-President. If there's anything I can help you with, please let me know. And you are?"
She laughs, and I die a little inside.
She has the best damn laugh and it turns her cheeks pink, and makes the end of her nose wrinkle in the cutest way.
"Bella Swan, it's nice to meet you, Edward. I've heard a lot about you." She grins.
I pull her closer because, well, she's here, and I can, and I don't think I'll ever let her go again. I lean forward and brush my nose against hers. "Yeah? And just who did you hear these things about me from?"
I grip her hip with my free hand and angle her just where I want her. We're so close, I can feel her heart beat against my chest. Sugar cookies and peppermint are all around me, and her lips, oh fuck, they're so close.
Her voice drops to a rough whisper. I can see her pulse pound in her neck. "Oh, from some creepy guy, goes by the number eighteen, can you believe that? I mean, who does that?" She giggles.
That does it.
"Bella?"
She leans back, just enough to look into my eyes. I don't know what she sees exactly, but whatever it is causes a soft whimper to escape.
"It's soon," I murmur.
And then there are no words. Only lips against lips and tongues and wet and hot and teeth. Fingers through hair, and holds on hips. Moans and whimpers and warmth, and hard and soft. I kiss her like there's no tomorrow. I kiss her like I've dreamed about for three months. I kiss her like I want her like I've never, ever wanted anything before.
I kiss her like I love her.
The bell sounds and we break apart, each breathing heavily, each not caring that by lunchtime there won't be any other topic of conversation but us.
I reach for her again and cradle her head in my hands. I lean forward and brush my lips against hers, soft and featherlight, because they're my lips and I can kiss them anytime I want now.
Fuck yes.
"I'm so ridiculously in love with you, Bella Swan," I tell her because I can't wait one more second for her to know that she owns me completely, body, mind, heart, and soul.
She squeaks again and throws herself into my arms.
"I love you, too," she whispers and I swear, I fucking swear, I hear angels singing or some shit … maybe I've just died and gone to heaven. I don't know. All I know, all that matters, is Bella's here, with me, and I don't ever have to let her go.
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
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