Watching Her Chapter 38 - Daisy Duck

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Chapter 38 - Daisy Duck - Mickey Mouse Club
Daisy is a beautiful diva, but she cares about others fiercely, and can be very emotional.

"Holy shit, can you two knock that off for more than like thirty damn seconds? Some of us are trying to eat here, you know? Jesus, you guys act like Rose has been gone for a year instead of a month," Jasper grumbles and then takes an angry bite out his cheeseburger, fooling no one.

When Ali comes home in a couple of weeks, they'll be exactly the same way.

I hear a giggle from across the table and Emmett gives me a lopsided smirk and an obnoxious waggle of his eyebrows. I amend my previous thought. No one's as bad as Em and Rose.

"Em, stop it." She giggles again, in a totally un-Rose-like fashion.

"But, baby," he whines and it's so pathetic-sounding that when Jasper looks at me, wide-eyed and like he can't decide whether to laugh or throw up, I make the decision for him. I start laughing, which causes Jasper to do the same thing.

I have no idea how long we laugh, but by the time I've caught my breath, my side hurts and I can feel tears rolling down my face.

Our parents look over at us, and we all just shrug our shoulders. Dad waits an extra beat before turning to say something to Mr. Whitlock. As always, my parents are having a 4th of July barbecue before the fireworks later. We've had a party every year for as long as I can remember. A few of his colleagues from the hospital are here, the nurses he's especially fond of, Jasper's, Emmett's, and Rose's parents and some of the other upstanding citizens of Forks are all in attendance. The guys from the soccer team are here, Angela, Jessica, and Lauren, and a few others … like usual there are people everywhere.

Of course the one person I want to be here – isn't.

Damn it.

I poke at my food, suddenly not very hungry though there is little in the world that I love more than my dad's famous grilled hamburgers - peanut butter and banana notwithstanding. He swears he puts a secret combination in the meat that makes them taste so good … really it's just seasoned salt and some barbecue sauce. Mom told me a few summers ago; he still doesn't know I know the secret. My thoughts, as always, go to Bella though, and I wonder how her day is with Phil. It's weird, like really, really fucking weird to think that a famous MLB pitcher, one of the most famous ones around, is only a few miles away from me, and no one knows it.

I've heard my mom and dad whispering a few times, in the kitchen before dinner, in the morning over coffee before he goes to the hospital, sitting outside on the deck at night, and I swear I've heard Bella's name more than once. I know I've heard Kate's name, too. It's really only a matter of time before word starts to spread about who Bella is and what's happened to her. I'm still really fucking sure I'm going to hate it when it does, mostly because that means Bella won't be just mine anymore. It's a shit thing to admit, and pretty much makes me sound like a selfish prick, but I can't help it.

I want Bella to be just mine.

Only.

I flinch when something wet and slimy hits my arm. I scowl across the table at Emmett who's trying to look innocent, which only makes him look like an idiot. A guilty idiot at that.

"Dude, what the hell?" I snap and use a napkin to wipe the ketchup-covered pickle slice off my arm that he flung at me.

He sort of braces himself for me to flick it back at him, which I'm sorely tempted to do, and because he's waiting for it, I just drop the mess onto my plate. Paybacks are a bitch, especially when you don't when they're coming.

Emmett grins. He thinks he'll be able to tell when I'll get him back. He won't. Jackass.

"I've been asking you the same question for three minutes and you haven't heard a word I've said. Too much Bella on the brain?" he teases, but suddenly everyone at the table freezes.

Thank goodness it's just Rose, Emmett, Jasper, and me at the table or else he wouldn't need to worry about paybacks because I'd kill him right this fucking second.

"Emmett," I hiss and look around to make sure no one's heard him.

"Man," Jasper mumbles and shakes his head.

I take a deep breath and look at Rose, who is still holding a forkful of potato salad in front of her halfway up to her mouth. She lets the fork fall to her plate with a plop and stares at me, completely ignoring the splatter of potato that lands on her arm.

"Who the hell is Bella and why do you look like you've just sucked on a lemon?" she asks and pins me with her blue eyes … which at the moment resemble glaciers, all hard and glinty, rather than the summer sky on a cloudless day.

Shit.

Emmett mutters a soft "fuck" under his breath and there's an awkward silence that settles over the table, unwelcome like ants at a picnic.

Thankfully, I have asked Bella if it is okay to talk to Jasper, Emmett, Alice, and Rose about her and about what's going on with her mom for this explicit reason. Emmett's not exactly known for being able to keep a secret … of any kind … ever. Besides, they're my best friends and they love me. I know Jasper and Emmett are still worried about me and being able to focus on camp like I'm supposed to, though I think they've eased up on that a bit over the last week since Bella and I have pretty much gotten everything out into the open. I can feel the difference and I know they can see it, too.

I'm still worried about her and her visit with Phil. I'm still terrified something will happen to her mom while I'm at camp and there won't be any way for me to help her if she needs me. I'm excited and nervous and really fucking anxious to just be with her, in whatever way she wants, but knowing she feels the same way helps … a little.

A brief, albeit intense, thought glides through my mind as I remember what her letter said - I think about you kissing me, too. Quickly I imagine what her lips will feel like pressed against mine, what it will feel like to slide her fingers between my own and whether or not her skin tastes like warm sugar cookies, because I'm positive she smells like them. I feel a heavy pressure between my legs that makes my bathing suit feel uncomfortably tight. Shifting, I reach beneath the table and adjust, not as unobtrusively as I hoped when I look up and see the three of them staring at me.

"See, Bella on the brain." Emmett smirks again and ducks when I throw a handful of chips at his head.

"Someone better tell me what's going on," Rose states in that tone that makes me cringe and causes the hair on the back of neck to stand on end.

I glance around the yard real quick. Mike, Eric, and the rest of the guys are playing grab ass in the pool. Jessica, Angela, and a few of the other girls are giggling and trying to act like they're pissed they keep getting splashed while they sit on the edge of the pool, and all the parents and other guests are eating and talking. I wave Rose, Jasper, and Emmett closer, figuring it's best to get this all out at one time.

So, I start from the beginning, adding a few details I didn't elaborate on with either Jasper or Emmett. Rose is quiet at first, but looks at me like I'm a lunatic. The further along I go, the more her look changes from incredulous to something along the lines of surprise tinged with a hint of worry. When I get to the part about my birthday and missing a night, she scowls on Bella's behalf, which makes me want to smile, but when I tell her about the pen and my apology, she pats my hand proudly.

I take a deep breath. My voice lowers as I tell them about what it was like to watch Bella write for hours, and how I knew whatever it was she was telling me was something painful and something that she's kept inside for far too long. Rose's eyes soften and she covers my hand with hers and squeezes.

"It's bad?" she asks quietly.

I nod and then look at each in turn, steeling myself to tell them about Renée and Charlie. I start with Phil though, and wait for Jasper and Emmett to fall over, which they almost do, but then they just sit with their mouths open for so long I worry about flies making themselves at home.

"I know, right?" I ask with a shake of my head. I've had a hell of a lot longer than them to get used to the idea and I still can't wrap my head around it.

I move onto Renée's story. Rose sniffs, Emmett rubs her back, and Jasper's nostrils flare as he breathes in and out. When I tell them about Charlie there's a lot of cursing, a lot of sighs and shaking of shoulders with heads bowed. I hand Rose two napkins; one so she can wipe her face, the other so Emmett can wipe his. Jasper's stone still, muscles tense as he stares off into the distance.

"Holy shit," Emmett mutters, his voice thick with emotions he'd rather not show but does nonetheless because how can he not be affected?

How could anyone?

Suddenly, Rose stands and looks around, almost frantically. She looks at the woods, like she can see Bella's house from here. She starts walking and I get up and reach out over the table, my hand closing around her wrist.

"Rose, where are you going?" I ask.

"To get Bella. She should be here, with you, with us. She doesn't need to stay home all by herself, that's just … she shouldn't," she says quietly and her shoulders slump.

And there's the Rose I know and love like a sister.

"I know, Rosie, believe me I know," I answer back just as softly and pull her forward so she'll sit again. "It's a lot and it sucks and it's awful, but Bella's so strong." I can't help the pride and the awe and the well, I have to say love, because there's no other word for it at this point.

"She won't leave her mom, you guys," I say on a sigh. "She's terrified something will happen and she won't be there if it does. When she goes outside at night, it's like it's the one time she can leave everything inside, for just a little while. Her mom's all she has left, even though she's not really here, but she can't let her go, she doesn't know how."

I look at them again and say, "I think Bella's closed herself off for so long that she doesn't know how to feel anything, so she pours it all into hoping her mom will wake up. This, whatever you want to call it, with me, as strange as it is to say, has given her something else to focus on."

"Edward," Rose says my name and it's in the same tone Jasper and Emmett used from before, though from her it's okay. I know she's worried that Bella doesn't feel about me the way I do about her, but I know the truth.

"Rose, I know what I'm doing, I promise. Being in Forks is going to be every bit as hard for Bella as it was being in Phoenix, harder in some ways. Phil's famous and I know, because I've looked at the articles on the Internet, that when Renée first had her accident, it was splashed everywhere," I mumble, agitated as much now as I was when I looked … after Bella told me her story of course.

"I remember hearing about that on ESPN," Jasper muses and I nod because I do, too.

Not that I had any idea that it would affect me personally way back then.

"But once everyone finds out about Renée and who Phil is, well, you guys know how things are; it'll be all anyone talks about. We haven't done anything all summer but practice and hang out here," I wave between us, "and with Dad not at the hospital, he wasn't here to talk about things up at the hospital. The Newtons have been in and out of town so far this summer, and so has everyone else, but that always changes after the 4th."

We all snicker a little bit because Mrs. Newton is the worst gossiper in the history of gossiping.

Hands down.

"What are you going to do when you go to camp?" Rose asks the million dollar question and I merely shrug, because at this point, I don't know.

"You'll figure something out," she tells me sincerely.

The rest of the day passes by and I try to enjoy myself, and I do, for the most part. I'm glad Jasper, Emmett, and Rose know everything now, though, and I'm sure Jas will tell Alice when they talk later.

By the time night falls and the sky's lit up with reds, blues, greens, and whites, the only thing I can think about is I hope that not far from here, Bella is watching, too, because it'd be nice to share this with her.

I want to share everything with her.
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