Watching Her Chapter 36 -- Mufasa

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Chapter 36 – Mufasa – The Lion King
Mufasa loves his son. He is wise, caring, and gives the best advice. 

"Ed, man, please tell me we can swim at your house today? Or at least sit in the hot tub?" Emmett grunts as he throws himself back on the ground. His chest's heaving and I swear he's the color of a tomato, which isn't unsurprising really - we've had a hell of a workout. We've been at it for hours now. If I didn't know better, I might think it's payback for ditching them a few days back, but it's not. We just had a really good practice.
I needed it, too.

I chug my water and then pour a little down the back of my neck. The cold water feels fucking incredible as it slithers its way down my back … until it reaches my ass, then it doesn't feel quite so good. I shift a little and try to ignore the way my boxers are now stuck to parts that they shouldn't be and nod at Emmett.

"Sure."

Emmett lifts his arm from his eyes and thankfully he's back his normal non-tomato-looking self. "When are your parents going to be home?"

I throw my now empty bottle in the direction of my bag and lean back on my elbows. "Not sure. Mom said sometime this afternoon."

It'll be nice to have them home, but I can't help but wish that Mom would get a sudden whim and want to stay in Seattle a few extra days for some shopping or something. Of course they have been gone a month so I know they're ready to come home. I think back to saying goodbye to them when they left and thinking that thirty days seemed like a hell of a long time, but that was before Bella.

"You ready?" Jasper asks. He's typing a text, to Alice I'm sure, and his head's down, but I answer him before he can look up.

"Fuck no, but I don't have much choice do I?" I huff and then it's me throwing my head back on the grass.

I stare up at the sky, temporarily blinded until a bank of cottony white clouds slides in front of the sun. Finally able to focus, though it doesn't matter because all I can see is Bella, I continue to look up. There's a tightness in my chest, one that not even three hours of sweat and pushing myself to the point of exhaustion beneath a scorching sun has been able to alleviate.

Tonight, for the first time, I won't see Bella.

And fuck if it doesn't suck and make me want to claw at my skin and make me feel way too many things at one time. Annoyed at my parents for coming home. Irrationally pissed off at myself for feeling so pathetic.
Worried that somehow something will happen and Bella might need me and I won't be there.

I feel like I'm going out of my mind. I used some of that nervous energy and cleaned the house from top to bottom yesterday afternoon. I even went to the Thriftway and bought some groceries … including a bunch of some kind of flowers that I thought Mom would like and a carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream because it's Dad's favorite. I vacuumed and dusted and mopped the floor in the kitchen … changed the sheets on my parents' bed … anything to keep my mind off of not seeing Bella tonight. I didn't do the toilets though, that's just, yeah, Mom can do those.

It's scary as hell, feeling like I'm going to fall apart, just from the mere thought of not seeing her for one night. What the hell am I going to do about not seeing her for weeks?

"Did you guys get the email from Coach about camp?" Jasper asks, finally done with his text conversation with Alice.

He never says anything, slightly inebriated whining aside, but I know he misses her. She's been gone since a few days after school got out and she won't be back until a week before we leave for camp. Luckily for Emmett, Rose is coming back in a few days for the Fourth of July, so he'll be able to spend a few weeks with her before we go.

"Yeah, I did. Who's driving to the scrimmage on Saturday?" Emmett asks and looks from me to Jasper.

I groan. A three hour car ride, a two hour game, probably at least an hour long strategy/training session with coach after we're done, a stop to eat, then a three hour trip back to Forks … yeah, not exactly looking forward to that. The scrimmage, sure, because I've missed playing, but the rest, not so much.

But, if I drive, I can make sure we get the hell out of there and back home, closer to Bella. I drive faster than Emmett, so I say, "I'll drive; one of you can take the next one." With camp just a little over three weeks away, we'll be spending a lot of time on the road and in Seattle.

The email from Coach didn't say too much, just making sure everyone was practicing on their own and what we should be working on until we all see each other at the scrimmage. Em, Jasper, and I are the only three on our team not from Seattle and Portland, which is both good and bad. It's good in that we can ride together, and we've been playing together so long that we know what one another is going to do almost before it happens. It's also bad in that it sort of makes us a little bit of a anomaly on the team because the rest of the team is a hodgepodge of guys from all over.

Camp should definitely be interesting to say the least.

We swim and mess around in the pool for a bit and that's followed by a long soak in the hot tub. The guys and I are half napping half relaxing in the chaises that line the pool when I hear Dad say, "Such rough lives for ones so young, don't you think, dear?"

I crack an eye open to see my dad smiling widely at me. I roll my eyes but hop up, and go to hug him before he stops me with hand on my chest. "Son, I love you and it's damn good to see you, but I'm not ruining a fine piece of clothing with greasy sunscreen. Nice tan by the way." He smirks, glancing pointedly at my now very pink chest.

"Ha ha ha, we all can't look like Tex over there," I snap and tip my chin toward Jasper and his golden brown tan … not that I look too closely.

"Well I don't care about my shirt, and really, Carlisle, that shirt doesn't exactly scream high fashion, no matter what you say. Now, come here, sweetheart, and kiss your mother. I haven't seen you in forever!" Mom opens her arms and I don't even hesitate before I let her wrap her arms around me, and do the same in return.

Immediately, I'm overwhelmed by everything that's always been my mom but I've never really paid attention to. Her tiny hands that are deceptively strong. Her eyes which are exactly like mine, the way she always smells like peaches, but I've never seen her eat one … the scar on the bottom of her chin that I've seen every day of forever but have never asked how she got it. All the things I've taken for granted for so long … and all the things Bella will never have again with her own mom.

"I love you, Mom," I whisper, and squeeze my eyes closed to try to ward off the tears that sting the corners of my eyes.

I hear Dad messing with Em and Jasper and I hang onto my mom for a few extra minutes, long enough to subtly, I hope, swipe beneath my eyes and to take a few deep breaths.

When I loosen my arms, she steps back and tilts her head to the side. I know she's trying to figure out what's going on. She's Mom; she knows things.

"Hmmmm, well we'll finish this later." She waves between us and then pats me on the chest before turning to Emmett and Jasper.

After hugs and kisses for both of them, which oddly enough leaves each sort of stunned, she smiles sweetly and says, "Lovely to see you both. You can help Edward unload the car."

Once they pick their chins up off the floor and shake the cobwebs loose, we head out to the car and bring in all the luggage, and I do mean all. I know they were gone for thirty days, but holy crap. Mom must have gone crazy on a shopping trip with Carmen or something.

A lot of grunting and groaning and then everything's inside. Emmett and Jasper have left after more kisses on cheeks and promises of dinner soon, and then it's just me and my parents.

Mom sighs. "Well, as much as I would love to shower, I better run to the store and get some food for dinner," she says as she stands by the front door.

"Um, I've already gone. I thought maybe steaks, baked potatoes, and maybe some salad for dinner? I just bought the bagged salad, but I knew you guys would be tired from traveling."

Dad places a hand on my shoulder and I turn to look at him. "Great idea, son. How about I fire up the grill and we'll eat on the deck. Steaks sound delicious. Eleazar and Carmen eat nothing but fish and chicken," he grumbles and starts to walk off toward the sliding glass doors but stops and turns around. "You didn't happen to pick up dessert while you were at the store, did you?"

I chuckle and then try to keep a straight face, but he looks so disappointed at the prospect of nothing sweet after dinner I put him out of his misery. "Mint chocolate chip ice cream, just for you, Dad."

He nods and smirks. "I knew there was a reason I loved you."

I go shower and change and find him out on the deck flipping the steaks, when I go back downstairs.

"Mmmm, that smells so good." I moan as I slouch down in a patio chair.

He sets down the tongs and takes a seat beside me, mirroring my position by stretching his legs out in front of him and crossing his arms over his chest. "It sure does. So, anything new going on?" he asks after a moment. "How's practice going? Are you ready for camp?"

Anything new … I laugh silently. If he only knew.

I shrug and look at him a few seconds before I nod slowly. "I guess. There's still a few weeks left, so I have time to work on what I need to before it's time to go. Oh, I have to go to Seattle Saturday for a scrimmage and strategy session. I told the guys I'd drive this time, if that's okay, and one of them can do the next."

"That's fine, just be careful. Make sure you get the oil and tires checked first," he answers. "I wish I could go watch, but I know I'm going to have to be at the hospital."

"We'll have quite a few scrimmages set up to play before we go to Oregon, I'm sure, so you and Mom can come to the next one."

He nods absently and then he stares at me, studying, almost searching it feels like, and I wait for him to say whatever's on his mind. It's been a while since he and I have really talked; I'm surprised to realize how much I've missed it.

He holds my gaze for an extra moment or two before his eyes sort of wander to a spot over my shoulder and out toward the swimming pool, the backyard, and then the forest beyond that. "You know, the first few days we were gone your mother was so worried about you. Worrying that you wouldn't eat, or eat nothing but junk food. That you'd have an accident and no one would be here to help you. That her house would be destroyed by wild parties or that the swimming pool would be full of beer cans or that the water would be green." I snort, and he rolls his eyes indulgently at Mom. "She's a mom, it's her job to worry, but I knew you'd be fine."

He takes a deep breath and then looks me in the eyes once more. "You're eighteen now, almost a grown man. Sure, you're still a teenager and you're prone to overindulging when given the opportunity." He chuckles and waves off the shocked look on my face like he's swatting away a fly. "You and your friends aren't anywhere near as sneaky as you think you are, son. The point is, you are an exceptional person, Edward, and I'm not saying that just because you're my son and I love you, I'm saying it because it's true. You have so much going for you: soccer, your music, college, opportunities to travel the world playing a sport you love, but it's a lot of pressure, too. I just want you to know that your mother and I will be here to support and love you and help you in any way we can. You have a lot of very important decisions to make in the near future, ones that will more than likely affect the rest of your life."

I suck in a sharp breath and he reaches out to place his hand on my shoulder again. It's heavy, but gentle and reassuring at the same time, the perfect representation of everything that is my father. Strong and sturdy, but giving and full of so much love for his family, friends, employees, and patients, it's a wonder he doesn't have a halo shining over his head. I'm struck immediately with just how much he's influenced me, guided me, sometimes with words, sometimes with actions, and how he's never, not once, not been here when I needed him.

My life's been pretty easy, in fact really fucking easy to be blunt. No family drama, no sicknesses or accidents or tragedies. The worst thing being when Mom's car slid off the road a few winters ago and she broke her leg and was in a cast for eight weeks. Like I said, easy. My parents adore each other, almost to the point of it being embarrassing. I have good friends … even Mike Newton … to hang out with on the weekends. I have a huge house complete with a swimming pool and flat screen televisions, a car of my own to drive. I don't want for anything; I have more than most, and I know it.

But those are things, and as I've learned from watching Bella, things can't ever, ever, replace people. Bella has a building full of things, but she doesn't have a dad, or really even a mom, and a step-dad who, while he loves her and cares about her, can't or won't be what she needs. She has a huge house, a car most would die for, and all she wants is a mom to tell her secrets to and a dad to kiss her and tell her everything will be better when she's sad or scared.

She'll never have either.

I don't say anything, the lump in my throat too big to even swallow around let alone force words out of, not that I can form any at this point anyway.

Dad must take my silence to mean I'm thinking and he quietly gets up, leans over to kiss the top of my head, and goes inside, presumably to go find Mom, but more than likely to leave me alone to think about what he's said.

I do.

But the only thing I can concentrate on, the one thing I keep coming back to time and time again is how in the hell do I follow my dreams, when now my dreams include Bella, too?
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