Drumsticks and Penalty Kicks Chapter 2 - Give and Go

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Chapter 2 - Give and Go
EPOV

"Shit, shit, shit," I mutter harshly as I skid to a stop in front of my Econ class.

"Nice of you to join us, Mr. Cullen," Mr. Knight says pointedly as he stares at me over the top of his glasses. He's holding a stack of brightly-colored paper and watches as I move toward my chair.

I drop into my seat in front of Emmett and give Mr. Knight what I hope is an innocent look. "Sorry, sir, just showing a student to class."

"Hmph." He grunts and goes back to handing out the syllabus.

"Do all new students get a private escort by Vice-President Edward Cullen, or is that just for Bella?" Emmett asks as he jabs me with a pen.

"Shut the fuck up, asshole," I whisper-hiss back at him, though the corners of my mouth lift because holy fucking shit … Bella Day has started out even better than I ever dreamed.

Mr. Knight begins to drone on about what to expect from his class, when we'll have quizzes and exams, and what topics we're going to cover the first six weeks. I try to pay attention, but after about three minutes, I don't even fight the urge to let my mind drift. I'm still having a hard time believing Bella's really here. Well, she's not technically right here, right now, but we're in the same building at least. That means as soon as this class is over, I'll be able to touch her and see her smile up close and personal-like … not to mention getting another hit of that fuckawesome peppermint sugar cookie smell that's all Bella, only Bella.

I groan a little and cough into my hand to cover it up when my mind moves to the way she felt pressed up against me and how it felt to have her mouth on mine. Like fucking heaven, that's for damned sure, and something I plan on enjoying a whole lot. All of it … the kissing, the touching, and everything else if I have anything to say about it. .

I shift and ignore Emmett when he snorts behind me. Asshole. My fingers start drumming on my desk and my knee's bouncing so fast I should probably worry about ligament damage. I wonder how her class is going and if anyone's said anything to her. Fuck, no one better say anything to her. I know everyone's going to though; it's just the way things work when someone new comes to town. My chest gets tight and my fingers take up residence in my hair so often that Emmett reaches up and clamps his hand down on my shoulder.

"Dude."

I turn my head and slide my eyes toward him. I growl. Not intentionally of course, but shit, I'm going out of my damn mind and it's only been … hell, thirty minutes, I notice when I glance down at my watch.

"Chill, Edward. She's fine. I'm pretty sure she's a big girl and can handle going to class by herself," he says quietly.

Mr. Knight is writing some shit down on the board that I'm sure I should pay attention to, but instead I turn sideways in my seat so I can look at Emmett.

"I know, man, but still. She was freaking out before she went into her class. You know how everyone is here; they'll be all over her like flies on shit, asking her questions, about her mom and probably Phil, too. If Jessica or Lauren or hell, fucking Newton is in class with her, I just …"

He chuckles and I swear I want to punch him straight in the throat. "What the fuck are you laughing at?"

"My friend, the only thing that anyone will be asking her is why the hell your tongue was down her throat."

Well now.

Guess I don't mind that so much, but I bet Bella will be embarrassed about our little PDA. I hope not too much though, because damn, it was fucking perfect if you ask me. As soon as I felt her presence and we saw each other, nothing else in the whole world mattered but her.

"You saw?" It's just now managed to infiltrate my Bella-filled mind that while I was consumed with all things Bella, there were still an awful lot of people in that hallway, like the idiot behind me, who witnessed our rather huge moment.

Is it wrong that I kind of want to run around and give everyone high-fives like I just scored the winning touchdown of the Super Bowl?

He smiles so big all his teeth are showing and nods his head. "Me and every other person in that hallway. It was like something out of a movie, man. The girls were all oohing and ahhing and every guy, well besides me and Jas, had their tongues hanging down to the floor."

I'm speechless, at least until he pokes me in the arm with his index finger. "By the way, she's fucking gorgeous. I have no idea how you managed that feat of miraculousness, but good job."

"Shut up, fucker." I can't help but smirk, because well, she is fucking gorgeous.

And mine.

A fact of which I'll be reminding all the other dipshits, like Newton, specifically, as soon as this class is over.
Thankfully, by the time Mr. Knight finishes writing some stuff on the board telling us what to read for class tomorrow, it's time for first period to be over. I shove all my papers in my backpack and push my way out the door, ignoring Emmett's voice behind me as he tells me to wait for him. Yeah … no. Does he not realize that I've had to spend almost sixty minutes away from Bella?

The halls are packed, which really only happens the first few days until everyone gets into the swing of things. I hear people call my name, but I keep going. The only thing I'm focused on is getting to Bella. My whole body feels like it's pumped full of adrenaline; I can feel it thrumming everywhere.

I slip between a group of underclassmen who look like fish out of water and then freeze. People keep bumping into me. I hear a few grunts and growls, but they just float away when I see Bella standing there.

Mike, Eric, and Garrett are all smiling at her. Alice and Rose are on either side of her. Jasper's approaching from the left and out of the corner of my eye I can see Ben and Angela as well. I'm sure if I tried to listen, I'd more than likely hear Jessica's whiny voice or Heidi's nasally one, but honestly, the only thing I can focus on is my girl.

My girl, damn it.

Garrett takes a step forward and I hear, "So, Bella, where've you been hiding your pretty little self all summer, hmmm?"

Oh, hell no.

I stalk toward Bella and my heart stutter steps when she notices me and gives me my smile. Garrett, the asshat, thinks it's for him because he leans closer to her, but before he can say anything, I'm next to Bella with my arm firmly, possessively around her waist.

Caveman behavior much? Perhaps. But I've waited three damn months for her and no one is getting in the way of that … teammate or not.

"Hey, baby, how was your first class?" I ask while I brush my lips across her cheek.

"It was fine, about what I expected." Her voice is a little shaky and she's so tense as she stands beside me. Her eyes are darting in every direction, skipping from one person to the next as everyone starts talking at once.

"Cullen, what the hell?"

"How do you two know each other?"

"Fast work there, Edward."

"Bella, is Edward your boyfriend?"

"Didn't I hear your dad is some sort of famous dude?"

"Where'd you come from?"

Comments are flying fast and furious. These are my friends, and I know they're excited about meeting someone new, some more than others given the way Garrett and Mike keep looking at Bella's ass, but Christ they're like a bunch of damn locusts. Jessica, Heidi, and Lauren are just yapping away, the guys keep throwing stupid ass questions out, and no one can get a word in at all. Bella turns her head toward my chest, and when I hear her take a gulp of air, I know she's had enough. I curl my fingers around her waist and try to ignore the fact that my index finger has slid beneath her shirt and is touching actual skin. Warm, silky soft, probably sugar cookie-scented skin.

Alice is on the other side of her, standing close and ready to pounce if anyone says one wrong thing to Bella. I can tell because she keeps looking from person to person as if she's trying to decide who she might have to take out first. Emmett's joined the group and has his arm draped over Rose's shoulders and he looks all happy-go-lucky, but he's ready jump in if need be and Jasper … I give him a look and tip my chin. Before anyone really knows what's happening, he's steered most of the crowd away.

Thank fuck.

"Phew, they're kind of um … overwhelming," Bella says once it's just Em, Rose, Alice, Ben, and Angela.
"They're idiots," Emmett quips before he takes two steps forward and grabs Bella by the waist and picks her up, way up, so that her head's above his and her feet are dangling in the air. "Bella, girl, it's nice to fucking finally meet you. If anyone gives you trouble, you just tell little old me and I'll take care of any of these yahoos for you … that includes Eddie, too, just so you know."

"Ahhhh, you must be Emmett." Bella giggles as she looks down at him. Her smile is genuine and though I know she's still apprehensive about today, no one else but me would be able to notice.

Because, well, I'm pretty sure I'd notice if she got a papercut on the tip of her finger.

"So, he's told you all about me, huh?" He winks at her as he sets her down on the ground. "I am a legend in these here parts, so I'm not surprised."

"Stop being such a jackass, jackass," Rose says as she jabs him with her elbow and rolls her eyes simultaneously. When she turns to look at Bella, her eyes are glassy and her smile is warm and welcoming.
Just like I knew she would be.

I'm sure Bella will get along with most of the girls, maybe not Lauren and Heidi so much, but I have a feeling it's going to be Rose she'll become the closest to. I love Alice to death, Angela, too, but ever since I told Rose about Bella, I've known that she's going to be just what Bella needs.

"Bella, oh my gosh, I'm so glad you're here! I've been waiting for this for months!" Rose squeals in the most un-Rose like way. She wraps her arms around a stunned Bella who gently pats her on the back while staring at me with her big, gorgeous brown eyes over Rose's shoulder.

I can't help but chuckle, nor can I help the way my insides feel like they're lit up brighter than a Christmas tree as I watch Bella being passed around. Apparently Alice and Ben were in Bella's first class with her and Angela has Pre-Calc with her next. I don't get to see Bella until third period when we have Spanish together, then again at lunch. We have English together in the afternoon, too, so all in all it's not too bad. Hopefully she'll have someone she knows in every class.

I glance down at my watch and realize there are only a few minutes until the next bell. I want some alone time with her, just long enough to touch her and look at her, and not have everyone staring at us.

I pull my arm from around her waist but slide my fingers between hers. She sighs, soft and dreamy-like when I squeeze and not gonna lie, I could eat that shit up with a spoon twenty-four-seven. I love, fucking love, knowing that it's me, only me, that has that effect on her, that can make her calm and feel safe and secure, even in the midst of all the chaos.

I tug on her hand to lead her away, but she gets passed around between the girls. Alice waves goodbye before she goes to catch up to Jasper saying she'll see us at lunch. Angela lets Bella know she'll save her a seat in Pre-Calc, and Emmett and Ben both tell her they'll see her later and walk off, leaving us alone.

Finally.

"That was …" she starts then blows out a gust of breath, looking as adorable as all get-out.

"How are you? Is this too much? No one said anything to you during first period did they? Were Garrett and Mike in your class? If they said anything to make you uncomfortable, I'll kick their asses, I swear I will. Or I'll make them run laps at practice. I'm the captain; I can do that. Fuck, Bella, they did say something …" and then my words are muffled because her hand is over my mouth.

"You are going to give yourself a heart attack if you don't calm down, Edward. I'm fine, I promise," she tells me. Her eyes are sparkly and the end of her nose is squished because she's giggling and I realize in that instant that there are hundreds, thousands, of little things that I'm going to learn about her every day now that I can see her and touch her anytime I want.

Like the fact that she has more freckles on the right side of her nose than the left. And the way she tucks her hair behind her left ear but bites the thumbnail on her right hand. Or that there's a scar on the right side of her face, right where her jaw meets her ear. Each new discovery makes me fall just a tiny bit more in love with her. The way I feel about her is scary and confusing but so damned exciting, too, that all I really want to do is lock ourselves away someplace and stay there for a very long time.

And to be completely, one hundred percent honest, it'd give me plenty of time to do all the bad things I want to do to her. The good bad things that make my jeans too tight, and make my palms sweat just thinking about them, but that I want to do really fucking badly.

"Hey," she says as she jiggles our hands.

I shake my head and concentrate on her. "So you're good?" I question again, because I can't help myself.

She rolls her eyes and huffs … a combination move I have a feeling she will become an expert at executing.

"Okay, okay, I won't ask anymore." We're almost to her classroom and I'm about to have to leave her again. I lift our hands and kiss the back of hers, and I sigh. "Fuck, Bella, it's almost unbelievable that I can kiss you whenever I want now."

"I wouldn't say whenever," she says sassily and I smirk.

Oh, baby … just no.

Poor girl, so deluded.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, princess." I jump back when she playfully, or at least I hope it's playfully, tries to smack my chest.

"Watch it, mister." She growls but the corners of her mouth lift so I know she's trying like hell not to smile at me.

"Do you really think," I begin and lower my voice as I force her backward against the wall, "that after all this time, I'm going to let one opportunity to kiss you go by? I think not, Bella."

I nudge her cheek with my nose and I hear her suck in a quick breath. She smells so fucking good … so, so good. I let my lips brush along her jaw and then I flick my tongue out at a spot behind her ear. When she squeezes my hand so tightly I'm not sure it'll get feeling back in it before I have to use it again, I make sure to add kissing her behind her ear to the never-ending list of things I need to be sure to do to her repeatedly.

"See you next period, baby," I whisper and then peck her on the lips real quick, silently giving myself a big old pat on the back for the dazed look in her eyes.

I watch her walk into the classroom. Actually, I stare at her ass as she walks inside. Mmmm, my girl.

It's going to be a good year … a very, very good year.
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Drumsticks and Penalty Kicks Banner

Drumsticks and Penalty Kicks Chapter 1 - Quarter Notes on the Bass Drum

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Chapter 1 - Quarter Notes on the Bass Drum
BPOV

Oh.

Oh my God.

He kissed me.

He loves me.

He kissed me and he loves me.

Wow.

Brilliant, Bella. Really eloquent, aren't you? That's all you can come up with for the best kiss of your life … 'wow'?

I try to lift my fingers to my lips, which are still tingling from his kiss, but I can't; Edward's hanging onto my hand.

I don't want him to let go because if he does, I'm not sure I'll be able to keep myself upright. My legs certainly don't seem as if they're in any condition to support me considering they feel like cooked spaghetti noodles.

"That was totally worth waiting three months for." He chuckles and then leans forward to brush his lips over mine.

I sigh. My whole body still trembles, not to mention the flood of emotions from simply being right here, right now, with him. I look into his eyes; I can't stop staring at them. They are so green. So, so green. I didn't even know eyes could be that color green, like the color of a green apple Jolly Rancher. Clear and bright and so pretty.

I'm vaguely aware of the sound of retreating footsteps and fading voices. I glance around. My heart races and my fingers twitch and not in that good 'I want to touch Edward' kind of way either. The large entryway is almost empty and that makes my stomach drop. How many people witnessed our little ... well, actually it was epically huge ... moment just now? Maybe I should care that others saw it, but unsurprisingly, I don't. We could have been standing in the middle of Rockefeller Center at Christmas and it wouldn't have mattered to me. The second I saw Edward, there was no one else but him - his friends, other students, teachers be damned. Now that our little Creeper/Drummer Girl bubble has burst, at least for the time being, the reality of where I am and what's about to happen makes me want to turn around and run right back out the door.

"Hey," Edward says softly, and his voice instantly makes me feel better. There's a dip between his eyebrows as he stares at me; I want to reach up and rub it away.

"You can do this." He's so sure, so confident that I can't help but smile. He gives me one back, and it's enough to make me take a deep breath.

"Come on, the last bell's about to ring and we can't have you getting detention already," he urges as he squeezes our joined fingers and leads me toward my first class. He smirks as he leans in close. "Besides, I think we've probably given everyone enough to talk about."

There are a few students lingering in the hallway lamenting the end of summer vacation. The bang of a locker door. The squeak of sneakers on the shiny floors.

"Okay, you have World History, right?" Edward asks as we walk down a hall to the left. We went over our schedules last night, so I know he's just making sure I know where I'm supposed to be; I have no doubt he already has mine memorized. I nod, nerves making my whole body break out in goosebumps, or maybe it's just the fact that for the first time, Edward is with me, out in public no less.

Holy shit. Talk about jumping from the frying pan straight into the fire.

I gasp, my chest is tight and I feel lightheaded. So many things are on the tip of my tongue, but he's babbling, and I can't follow what he's saying. I try to pay attention to which direction the classroom is, but realize it's pretty much an effort in futility … he just keeps talking a mile a minute. He's so excited - his eyes bright and his cheeks pink. He's adorable and everything I hoped he'd be and about a hundred things more. I stumble as he pulls me along behind him. When he stops and turns to look at me, I bump into him.

The look on my face obviously makes him worry. I suppose my wide eyes, the fact that I'm gnawing on my bottom lip like a dog with a bone, and that I can't quite seem to catch my breath are enough to make anyone wonder if I'm okay. I'm kind of wondering that myself.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

He's so concerned; it's written all over his otherwise perfect face. Furrowed forehead, lips turned down, and eyes pinched. His thumb is tracing endless circles on the back of my hand and I'm almost positive he doesn't even realize he's doing it.

I huff then words just tumble out, like an overloaded apple display at the grocery store.

"It's all of this," I practically shriek and wave my free hand as if shooing away an imaginary swarm of flies around my head. "Saying goodbye to Mom this morning, then Phil and he was so nice, and then there was your note, and then I was here and you were here, and you kissed me and you love me, and now I have to walk in that classroom without you and everyone's going to look at me, like they don't already do it enough, but now you kissed me and everyone will know and I just … ugh … I don't even know."

I have to close my eyes because even though I seriously could look at him all day, every day and never get tired of it, there's so much stuff swirling around in my brain that I can't see, let alone think straight.
"Oh, shit. You're freaking out. This is all too much. Damn it, I was worried this would happen. I should have met you outside or something, or picked you up this morning instead of making you walk inside all by yourself. Do you want me to take you home? I'm supposed to go meet with Mr. Banner after first period, but I can skip; he won't be too mad. Fuck, I must be the worst boyfriend ever …"

And with that word, that one beautiful, scary, so big word, nothing else matters but him. I grab the center of his shirt and tug … hard. He catches himself, just barely, but we still wind up in an Edward, Bella, wall sandwich. I like it. A lot. Every inch of his body that can be is pressed against mine, and I don't want to move, don't want him to move. I want him to stay right where he is, always.

His nostrils flare and his eyes blaze, for just a moment, the blink of an eye really, then they soften. He lifts a hand and runs his fingers through my hair then lays his palm along my now very warm, and I'm sure very pink cheek. Our eyes are locked together, and I know every second we stand here is one more we shouldn't, but I can't make myself move, not now, not after waiting so long to finally have him this close.

"Bella," he whispers.

"You said boyfriend," I blurt at the same time, but I don't think he minds the abrupt interruption. He doesn't mind at all.

"Damn straight I did." He grins. "You're mine and I'm yours, Bella, and everyone will know it soon enough."

I blow a strand of wayward hair out of my face and Edward's smiling at me. Cat that swallowed the canary smiling, dimples, gleaming eyes and tongue in the corner of his mouth smiling. If I didn't love him and think he was about the most amazing thing ever, I might be tempted to be really pissed off at him. When the left side of his mouth lifts into a smirk, I realize I'm in trouble. Big, big trouble because that smirk, holy hell, it's going to be the death of me. I just know it.

I glance around and notice that the hall is almost empty. My heart starts pounding again just thinking about the fact that I have to walk into my classroom by myself.

"Hey, stop," he pleads, covering my hands that are still holding onto his shirt with his own. "You can do this, baby. Remember what I told you? You don't ever have to do anything by yourself again."

I lean my head forward and rest it against his chest and just breathe him in.

"I can't believe you're really here, that I can touch you and look at you and Christ, kiss you." He breathes out and all my hysterical thoughts are gone … poof … like Dumbledore just waved his wand and made everything but Edward disappear.

He tips my chin up and kisses me really quick and then steps backward. "We still have so much to talk about, but you need to go," he urges. "Shit, you really need to go," he says glancing at his watch and then he practically pushes me through the door to my history class. "I'll meet you after class. You've got this, baby, trust me."

He winks then rushes down the hallway.

I take a deep breath as I watch him then turn toward the door. I can do this.
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The Sequel to "Watching Her" - "Drumsticks and Penalty Kicks"

He still watches her.  She still plays the drums.  They just do it together.  Drummer Girl and Creeper learn to love, trust, and grow together.  Sequel to "Watching Her".

First chapter is posting VERY shortly!!  Are you ready?

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Watching Her Chapter 49 - Princess Aurora

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Chapter 49 - Princess Aurora - Sleeping Beauty
True Love's Kiss

"Bella, it's almost time for you to go if you don't want to be late," Phil says softly as he pokes his head into Mom's room.

I gasp a little and look over at the clock on the nightstand beside her hospital bed. "Oh, crap!" I exclaim. "I completely lost track of the time."

He steps inside, just to the foot of Mom's bed and almost as if he can't help himself, he reaches a hand out and strokes the side of her blanket-covered foot. "I kind of thought you might have. I heard you reading and I know it was getting to the good part, so I figured I'd better interrupt before you got too much further."

He grins at me knowingly. It's been so nice having him here this weekend. In fact the past week has been great … except for that whole not being able to see Edward thing. Other than that very important fact, spending time with Phil has been good for both of us. We've gotten so much closer since he was here during All-Star break. I glance down at Mom's still face, and I know she'd be really happy about it. I'm not glad he got injured, even though it was just a sprained finger, but I guess on a MLB pitcher nothing's taken for granted. The time we've spent with each other has really helped our relationship and it's given me another extra little push I need to move forward.

Toward Edward, with Edward.

The instant his name forms in my mind, my nerves explode and every inch of my body is filled with tiny sparks and I tingle all over. My chest tightens and my pulse races, and all of a sudden I just want to crawl back in my bed, pull the covers over my head, and stay there and let the world pass me by.

"Hey, you look like you got freaked out there for a second. It's okay to be nervous, Bella. It's a new school and you'll be meeting new people, but I know you'll have a great day," Phil says quietly. He extends his free hand and rubs my shoulder in support.

I am nervous about starting a new school, of course I am. I'm not exactly shy, but I am quiet, observant. My school in Phoenix was so huge, probably at least twice the size of Forks High, and at least three times as many students. Here in Forks, it's going to be much harder to blend in. This summer it was kind of easy to keep to myself and I needed it, the time to get myself together and heal, but I know once I step foot on that campus, things are going to change. It's not as if I won't stand out like a sore thumb; most of the kids I'll be going to school with have been around one another their whole lives. As the new girl, I know that everyone will be curious. As hard as I try not to, I'm so worried about no one liking me. Obviously I'm not worried about Edward; not Emmett, Jasper, Rose, and Alice either. They all seem so nice and from what Edward keeps telling me, really excited to meet me.

It will be nice to have friends, again. I had a small group of friends that I hung out with, but when Mom got hurt and I'd withdrawn so completely, it was as if I'd just faded away. I guess in a way I had. I know I certainly didn't make much effort to talk to anyone, and I basically just went through the motions for the most part.

Once I get to school today, there's no more hiding.

I don't want to any longer anyway and, well, I'm pretty sure Edward won't let me.

And again, cue the swarm of butterflies trying to beat their way out of my stomach as soon as I think his name.

I don't think I'm going to make it past the first class without throwing up.

I close the book and stand up, leaning over to kiss the side of Mom's head before I turn to Phil. "I'm going to go get my stuff, then I'll come find you to say goodbye, okay?"

He nods, but doesn't look up. He's staring at Mom and I figure he needs a few minutes of alone time to say his own goodbye to her.

It's hard walking out of her room and toward mine. So, so hard. The urge to throw myself next to her bed and not leave her is so strong. With each step the guilt and the grief and the sense of despair threatens to overwhelm me. My chest tightens and my stomach rolls even more than before and my legs feel like they could give out at any moment.

Once inside the comfort of my own room, I close the door behind me and lean against it, letting it support me while I try to catch my breath. "God, when will this not hurt so much?" I whisper as I bend over, clutching my stomach.

The worst part? I know Mom would absolutely abhor me acting this way. She was strong, seemingly fearless even when I knew she really wasn't, and so brave. After Dad died, she could have crumpled beneath the weight of her pain, but instead she moved forward. She tried … she did.

Just like I want to do.

After one more deep breath I look up. The first thing my eyes find is Edward's pen on top of the notebook beside my bed. The smile that spreads across my face works to tamp down my out of control emotions and focuses them on where they're supposed to be … where they're meant to be.

On Edward … always, always on Edward.

Because of him, I know I can get through today. And the day after that, and the next one, and the next one.
"Okay, Bella, enough freaking out for one day. You have an important date." I roll my eyes at my ridiculous pep talk, but it does the trick.

I walk to my bathroom and look at myself in the mirror, wondering if I should take my hair out of my ponytail. I know Edward likes it up, but even I have to admit I'm having a pretty damn good hair day, so down it is.

I stare at my reflection and after a silent but blunt appraisal, I give myself a quick nod and turn back toward my room. Backpack, schedule, a few notebooks, and of course my silly pen and then I'm ready to go. Keys and cell phone in hand, I meet Phil in the kitchen.

"You look like you're ready to go," Phil says as he leans against the island.

"As much as I'll ever be," I tell him, but I can't help but grin a little.

As nervous as I am, I really excited, too.

He sets his coffee mug down beside him and then walks toward me. "Depending on how the rest of the season goes and then playoffs, it might be awhile before I can come back here. You'll let me know if you need anything?" he asks.

"Of course, but I'll be fine."

He tilts his head to the side and a soft, genuine smile appears. "I know you will, Bella. I'm so proud of you," he says slowly. "Being here has been good for you. I wasn't sure, especially with ..." He looks off in the direction of Mom's room. "I know you feel sometimes like you're all alone, but you're not, okay? Even if I'm on the road, if you need me, I'll be here."

I nod, feeling too many things to get my mouth to work.

"Besides, someone has a birthday next month. Let's see if we can work out something to spend it together?" he questions.

"I'd like that."

"Okay, I'm hitting the road as soon as I shower, so I'll be gone when you get done at school. Text me later and let me know how your day was and we'll talk this weekend. I'll be in Chicago, but Saturday's an early game so I'll call you afterward."

"Good luck," I tell him and smile because Phil really hates the White Sox.

He pulls me in for a hug and kisses my cheek then the top of my head. "I love you, sweetheart. Have a good week and don't forget to send me a text later, just to let me know your day was okay."

"I love you, too, and I won't. Be safe going back to Seattle." I hug him, hard, one more time and then hurry out the door.

Walking to my car I'm in my own little world. Of course I'm thinking about Edward which seems to be an all the time thing these days, when I see my notebook beneath the windshield wiper. He was here … last night. Wow. Slowly I walk around the car and pull it from beneath the wiper blade, not wasting any time opening it. I flip through the pages, and realize with a start how much I miss his letters. Emails and texts are great, listening to him talk is even better, but I miss seeing his handwriting, miss feeling his words. I skim the letter he left because I'm too impatient to read it slowly, then once I've devoured each word, I start over again, savoring this time.

I sigh. I needed that, so much, and I didn't even know it. He did though, because well, he's Edward.

He's so wonderful.

Once my backpack is in the passenger seat beside me, I take a deep breath, and put the key in the ignition.

It's time.

No more waiting. No more hiding. No more excuses.

I'm going to see Edward.

Soon.

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ 

"You can do this, Bella," I mutter as someone jostles my backpack when they walk through the open door.

I step to the side and take a deep breath. Jesus, this shouldn't be such a big deal. Of course Edward is in there, somewhere.

That makes this about the biggest deal ever.

One more deep breath and I walk inside. A quick look around and it's a lot like my old school in Phoenix. The Spartan emblem embedded into the floor, flyers cover a huge bulletin board announcing sign-ups for one club or another, white butcher paper posters with 'Welcome Spartans' line the walls. Two huge glass cases filled with trophies are in the center of the far wall.

There are people everywhere. Laughing, talking, looking at schedules together. Everyone's so familiar with one another and for the briefest of moments, just a flash, I want to turn around and go home. But I can't, I won't. Not when Edward's so close.

People point as I walk by them. I can feel numerous sets of eyes on me, but not the ones I want. There's no warmth, no tingles, so I know he's not close by, not yet. I move a few steps farther inside, sweeping my eyes from left to right. They flit from person to person, then stop on a small group to my left. A huge guy with short dark hair and arms as big as cannons stands beside the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen. He leans down to say something in her ear and she smiles, making her look even more beautiful, if that's even possible. The whole group laughs when she says something back to him, and his megawatt smile shows off dimples I can see even from this far away. It's obvious how close they all are.

I wonder if they're friends with Edward. I think they must be.

The other people in the group, a girl with long, straight black hair and glasses, stands next to a guy that looks like an All-American boy next door - short blond hair, Polo shirt, and jeans, a nice smile that shows off his perfect teeth. The two are holding hands, though they don't cling to each other as they all talk amongst themselves. The other two, a really tall, somewhat skinny guy with dirty-blond hair has his arm wrapped tightly around a petite girl with short, dark hair. They are obviously boyfriend and girlfriend. Every time she moves, he does, even when they are talking to the others in the group.

If these are Edward's friends, and I'm betting they're Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper … it's no wonder he came looking for me. They all look so happy with each other; I can only imagine how it would feel to be the odd-man out.

I turn away before they catch me looking at them. Talk about embarrassing. I swing my backpack around so I can unzip the front pocket and take out my schedule. I fumble with the paper while I try to get the pocket zipped back up so nothing spills out. When I finally do, I glance around and then I feel it.

Tingles.

Sparks.

Warmth.

Edward.

Right there. Right in front of me.

Oh.

Ohhhhhh.

Oh my.

Edward is definitely hotter than his dad.

EPOV

"Edward, if you don't get a move on, you're going to be late," Mom hollers up the stairs at me.

I make some sort of sound at my reflection in the mirror and ignore her. It's not like I don't know what time it is anyway.

Believe me I know.

I've been watching every single second pass by since I woke up … before my alarm this morning.
After making it back home from dropping off the notebook and inside without detection, I collapsed in my bed, and was asleep within seconds. In the next one, I bolted straight up in bed, covered with sweat, my heart beating a hundred miles a minute, and the biggest fucking smile on my face. I'm pretty sure if my mom would've walked in my door just then, I would have freaked her the hell out because she would have thought I'd lost my damn mind.

Honestly, who could blame me because today's the day.

THE day.

Bella day.

I stare at myself again and then whip off my shirt, hating the way it looks on me. I mutter all the way to my closet and try to figure out when in the hell I turned into such a God damn girl, but holy shit.

It's fucking Bella Day.

For a second my mind wanders and I wonder how hard it is to add a holiday to the calendar, because if any day deserved to be celebrated, it's today. I pick out a different shirt, one Mom picked up in Seattle on the way home from Alaska. It's some blue and white plaid short-sleeved, button-up shirt and I suppose with my white t-shirt on underneath it doesn't look half bad. Cargo shorts and my favorite pair of Nikes and I guess it's as good as it's gonna get.

I want to look good for Bella, but I don't want it to seem like I'm trying too hard because that's just pathetic.
I freeze when I walk back out of my bathroom.

In a little over an hour I'm going to be able to see her, touch her … and fuck me, kiss her.

I lick my lips. Smooth, a little chapped, but not too bad. I hold a hand up and blow then sniff. Minty, but I make a mental note to grab a pack of gum on my way out the door. I look down and run my hand over the front of my shirt, no wrinkles thank goodness. I take a step then stop, reach between my legs and adjust … much better.

I grab my backpack and sling it on my shoulder. Keys, wallet, and cell phone go into the pocket of my shorts and then I pick up my soccer bag. I'm not going to feel like practicing today, I'm already tired and the day hasn't even started yet, but Coach didn't ask me if it was a good idea. I take a step then pat my pocket and pull out my cell phone.

No missed call.

No email.

No text.

Son of a bitch.

I tighten my jaw and close my fingers around my phone and try not to freak the fuck out. I didn't really think she'd call this morning, but I did think she'd send a text or something at least. Deep breath, in then out. It's early. Phil's still there.

Maybe her battery's dead.

Maybe this is too much for her.

Maybe she's not coming.

Maybe she's decided that she doesn't want this … want me.

No.

No, no, no! No fucking way.

Breathe in, breathe out.

I play back our conversation from last night and remember how her voice sounded. Excited, a little scared, and so fucking happy I could almost see rays of light shining through the phone.

"Calm down, idiot," I chastise myself.

I know today's going to be hard for her. I know leaving her mom for the day is going to probably feel like cutting off her own arm, but I also know Bella's going to do it. She went to Seattle for a week, so she can do this. I know my girl and she's so strong, so fucking strong, and she's come way too far to stop now.
I know it.

Less than fifty minutes now.

I make my way downstairs and grab a glass of orange juice and sit down to eat breakfast with Mom and Dad. We talk about our plans for the day, and it's amazing to me how quick and easy it is to get back onto a schedule. Dad's work, my practices, Mom's volunteer work, dinner - normal everyday things that before Bella I would have just taken for granted, but now, mean so much more.

After scarfing down my food, I run upstairs and brush my teeth again - can't be kissing my girl with bacon breath - and then tell my parents goodbye.

"Don't forget to look out for the new girl, dear," Mom tells me as I walk through the front door.

The twisty turny thing comes out to play and I hurry to the car, more anxious than I've ever been to get to school, which makes the actual ten minute drive feel like at least an hour … probably longer. I spend the entire trip glancing at my phone in the passenger seat, flipping through the radio stations, then turning it off just in case I can't hear my phone vibrate with a message.

I pull into the nearly empty parking lot and find the spot I always park - the far left corner - but facing the soccer fields, so that when I'm done with practice I don't have to go too far. I grab my stuff and get out, running to the locker room to drop off my soccer bag. By the time I walk back outside, I wait for Alice who has just pulled in.

"Hey, Ali."

"Well, look at you. Don't you look nice today? Trying to impress a certain mysterious drummer girl that you've been obsessing over for months?" she teases as she bumps my hip.

I don't say anything. I can't. My throat's completely dry and the lump inside of it is the size of a soccer ball.

Thirty minutes to go.

Holy shit.

"Bella's going to be fine, Edward." She says it quietly, but without a hint of doubt. "I can't wait to meet her!"
She grins at me and bounces a little in her Alice way and I just smile, because I know they're going to be great friends.

"You guys need to take it easy, okay? She's going to be really nervous," I warn her.

Alice rolls her eyes and opens the heavy glass door leading into the school. Angela and Ben are already waiting for us, as is Mr. Banner.

"Chill, Edward. It's not like we're all going to tackle the poor girl."

I can't reply because by this time we're standing with the others. As the four members of the Student Council … Angela, President, me, Vice-President, Ben, Treasurer, and Alice as the Secretary, we have to welcome the students and help the younger ones, the incoming Freshman mostly, find their homeroom assignments and make sure to answer any questions they have like where the cafeteria is or how to find the office.

Forks High isn't huge, but I remember when I first started here and saw all the older students walking the hallways. It can be a little intimidating.

Mr. Banner gives us our instructions and we stand around and talk until the first throng of students starts to arrive about 7:45. School begins at 8:15 and we had to be here by 7:30, way too damn early for the first day of my senior year of high school, but it's not like I could say no.

Five minutes pass and suddenly the hall is full of people. Parents and students and teachers everywhere, and the noise level goes up and up. I'm pointing and talking and feel a bump into my elbow and I whip my head around.

Emmett.

"Dude, why the hell is it always like this on the first day of school?" he asks, shaking his head.

Rose is chatting with Alice and Angela and I give Jasper the manly, cool, chin lift because as usual, he's got his arm wrapped firmly around Alice and he's not in a hurry to let her go.

"It's insane, but so far so good," I tell him, having seen only a few students who looked like they wanted to make a break for it.

"Any sightings of you know who?"

I scan the crowded hallway looking for long brown hair, but there's too many people to even tell. Besides, I don't feel her, and I know I would if she were close by.

"Nah, not yet, but there's still twenty minutes before the bell rings. I hope she's okay," I trail off. I grab my phone again and check, just in case.

Nothing.

He slaps me on the back. "Okay, man, I'll see you in Econ."

I glance at my watch.

Any minute now.

It has to be.

"Ah, Mr. Cullen, things seem to going smoothly. No issues so far?" Mr. Banner asks a few minutes later.

"Um …"

And the words die because she's here.

I can feel her.

Right here, right now.

She's fucking here.

Frantic, I scan the crowd. Mr. Banner's talking to me, but I have no idea what the hell he's saying. He could be telling me Mike Newton came to school naked for all I care. From left to right my eyes sweep, but I still can't see her. My heart's racing and the deodorant I put on this morning after my shower is getting a workout, so I know she's close. The hair on the back of my neck is standing on end and the twisty turny thing is wound tighter than a damn corkscrew.

Mr. Banner leans to the side to talk to a teacher passing by and then …

Holy shit.

Brown hair, brown eyes, gorgeous face, and a smile … my smile.

Bella.

BPOV

Green eyes.

He has green eyes.

He never told me his eyes were green and even if he did, there's no way I would have ever, ever, been able to do them justice in my imagination.

They're the most incredible eyes I've ever seen in my life.

They widen and I'm gone, lost in the pools of glass bottle green. I'm so gone, fallen so deep, that I don't ever want to come out.

Edward.

Oh my God.

I know my mouth's hanging open, and there's a buzzing in my ears, but I can't be bothered to look and see where it's coming from. Besides, nothing else matters because he's less than ten feet away from me.

The tingles and sparks, the exploding fireworks and the crackling electricity from a month ago is nothing compared to what I feel right this second. Everything around me is moving a mile a minute. There are voices, footsteps, the creak of lockers opening and the clanging when they close.

A bump of my shoulder, a murmur of an apology, but nothing can tear my eyes away from him.

He's beautiful.

He's perfect.

He's so, so mine.

His hair's as crazy as he said it was, and my fingers twitch. I want to touch it just to see if it's as soft as it looks. He's tall, a lot taller than I thought he'd be. His nose is slightly crooked, though not surprising I suppose since he's played soccer for so long. Wide shoulders, legs that, oh hell, if they look that good in baggy cargo shorts, I can't even imagine how good they look in soccer shorts.

His smile though, his smile causes my heart to pound, my pulse to race, and liquid fire to spread through every part of my body. Perfect lips curve in the most perfect way. A lopsided smile where the left side of his mouth lifts a tiny bit higher than the right.

And he's smiling, at me, like he's been lost for days … months … years even and he's finally found his way back to where he belongs.

I can feel my eyes burn as they fill with tears.

How … how is it possible to feel so much at one time? Like crying and laughing and screaming and singing and crying some more. I gulp, trying to breathe, but I can't.

His eyes widen again and I can tell he wants to walk forward, but I shake my head. Time, oh God, I just need a minute, a second, to get control of myself. A deep breath, and hold, then I let it out slowly. Once, then twice, and I can feel the surge of emotion settle back down to a manageable level.

I can't move. My feet are stuck to the floor. I want to go forward, but my legs won't allow me to. A flood of memories in my head.

Holding my dad's hand while at the same time holding an ice cream cone in the other. Sitting in the kitchen with my mom after school eating sugar cookies and drinking milk. Sitting on my dad's shoulders while I put the star on top of the Christmas tree and smiling down at my mom who clapped like I'd just painted a masterpiece. 

A casket covered with an American flag. Hundreds of men and women dressed in uniform, a sea of dark blue and shiny gold. 

Hospitals and doctors with stoic faces and nurses dressed in scrubs covered with too bright flowers. 
Tubes and machines that make whooshing noises. 

Standing in a driveway watching a car as it gets farther and farther away. 

Then there are new memories.

Drumsticks and a notebook. 

Tentative steps forward, the beginning of a friendship.

A song. A smile.

A silly pen. 

Trust. 

The baring of a soul.

Comfort. 

Need. 

Cookies. 

Excitement and want. 

The sound of a voice. Electricity. 

More cookies. A CD. Finger touches, hand holding, never wanting to let go.

Words and thoughts and feelings. Open, honest, true. 

Edward.

A step forward, then another.

EPOV

"Yes, baby. Yes, yes," I murmur, urging her with all I have to keep walking forward.

To me.

God, she's gorgeous.

My body screams at me, every inch begging to just move, to take a few steps closer to her. It's where I'm supposed to be, where I need to be, but I don't move. This has to be her choice. To try, to take a chance, to believe … to begin living for herself again.

Not just because of me.

But for herself.

I can see the guilt in her eyes, see the fear of going forward without her dad, and without her mom.

"Trust me, Bella," I whisper.

Her breath catches in her throat, almost as if she's heard me, but over the commotion all around us, I know that's impossible. She can feel me though, that I know for fucking sure. The way her eyes are dilated, the way her fingers curl and uncurl, the way she keeps biting her bottom lip … oh yeah she can feel me.

"Almost, baby. Come on."

Christ, I just want her here already. I want my arms around her, her chest pressed against mine. I want her hands on me. I want my fingers in her hair. I want my mouth on hers, and I want to know once and for fucking all if she tastes as good as she smells.

She's moving, a step. Another. One more, this time surer. And another, this one with a brilliant smile on her face. So close, so, so close.

Until she's here.

Oh my fucking God.

Neither of us say anything; we just stare at each other. My friends are around somewhere, but all I can see is Bella. My Bella.

Without saying a word, I reach for her hand and slide my fingers between hers. She sighs and I know I do the same. To be able to touch her while looking into her beautiful brown eyes is almost more than I can take. She closes her eyes and I see a tear slip out of the corner of one. With my free hand I ghost the tip of my finger beneath her eye and gather the moisture there.

Warmth. It's everywhere, burning where I touch her skin.

She gasps or squeaks … I don't even know, but it's adorable as hell.

When she opens her eyes, they're shining, but not from tears of sadness but pure unadulterated joy if the smile on her face means anything. I feel my mouth lift, and I know I'm smiling, too.

I mean … she's fucking here!

I take a step back, hating it, but there's something I need to do first.

I twist our hands so that our palms touch and my hand is wrapped around hers in a handshake.

"Hi, my name's Edward Cullen. I'm the senior class Vice-President. If there's anything I can help you with, please let me know. And you are?"

She laughs, and I die a little inside.

She has the best damn laugh and it turns her cheeks pink, and makes the end of her nose wrinkle in the cutest way.

"Bella Swan, it's nice to meet you, Edward. I've heard a lot about you." She grins.

I pull her closer because, well, she's here, and I can, and I don't think I'll ever let her go again. I lean forward and brush my nose against hers. "Yeah? And just who did you hear these things about me from?"

I grip her hip with my free hand and angle her just where I want her. We're so close, I can feel her heart beat against my chest. Sugar cookies and peppermint are all around me, and her lips, oh fuck, they're so close.

Her voice drops to a rough whisper. I can see her pulse pound in her neck. "Oh, from some creepy guy, goes by the number eighteen, can you believe that? I mean, who does that?" She giggles.

That does it.

"Bella?"

She leans back, just enough to look into my eyes. I don't know what she sees exactly, but whatever it is causes a soft whimper to escape.

"It's soon," I murmur.

And then there are no words. Only lips against lips and tongues and wet and hot and teeth. Fingers through hair, and holds on hips. Moans and whimpers and warmth, and hard and soft. I kiss her like there's no tomorrow. I kiss her like I've dreamed about for three months. I kiss her like I want her like I've never, ever wanted anything before.

I kiss her like I love her.

The bell sounds and we break apart, each breathing heavily, each not caring that by lunchtime there won't be any other topic of conversation but us.

I reach for her again and cradle her head in my hands. I lean forward and brush my lips against hers, soft and featherlight, because they're my lips and I can kiss them anytime I want now.

Fuck yes.

"I'm so ridiculously in love with you, Bella Swan," I tell her because I can't wait one more second for her to know that she owns me completely, body, mind, heart, and soul.

She squeaks again and throws herself into my arms.

"I love you, too," she whispers and I swear, I fucking swear, I hear angels singing or some shit … maybe I've just died and gone to heaven. I don't know. All I know, all that matters, is Bella's here, with me, and I don't ever have to let her go.
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~

Watching Her Chapter 49 Pic Tease - Princess Aurora

Watching Her Chapter 48 - Prince Phillip

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
Chapter 48 - Prince Phillip - Sleeping Beauty

"Edward, you're such a fucking idiot," I mutter as I hop over a large branch on the ground.

I have to be up in less than six hours and where am I? Besides very obviously not in my warm, comfortable bed not sleeping and risking being grounded before I even have a chance to go out with Bella.

Fuck me.

But I had to come. I couldn't not come. I just couldn't.

I curl my fingers around the notebook in my hand and breathe as I push my legs just a little faster, harder. My chest tightens, partly from exerting myself so quickly, but mostly it's because with each step I take, I get closer to her. She won't be outside; she doesn't even know I'm coming.

I laid in my bed after telling her good night and I tossed and turned for an hour before I couldn't take it anymore and now here I am, traveling the same path, in the same clothes, as I did that first night almost three months ago.

Under the same moon, under the same dark, inky sky filled with glittering stars playing hide and seek with the clouds that move silently with the gentle breeze, with the same sure footsteps over the same uneven, soggy ground, I move toward her.

Gotta admit, I never thought things would turn out like this though. Not in all my wildest dreams did I imagine that any of this would happen when I saw her the first time.

I've been back from camp for a week, and it's been the longest damn week of my entire life. Camp couldn't have gone any better for me, but by the time I was packed and waiting for my parents to pick me up so we could make the seven hour drive back to Forks from Eugene, the only thing I wanted to do was go home and see Bella. It was all I'd been able to think about. The extra week I spent in Oregon, even though I was without Emmett and Jasper, ended with the result I've been dreaming about and wanting … pushing myself for. When my name was announced as one of the twenty-two players picked for the Regional Team, it felt like this huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I took a deep breath, and accepted handshakes and slaps on the back and tried to listen to things about schedules, and training, and traveling, but my mind was already back in Forks and on Bella.

For almost three months I'd fought every instinct I had and pushed away every inclination to throw caution to the wind and say fuck it to everything and march up to her front door, ring her doorbell, and kiss the ever-living shit out of her when she opened the door. As I stood in front of the dorms that I'd made my home for the past three weeks with my duffel bag and soccer bag at my feet, all I wanted to do was be home already so I could do just that.

Things didn't exactly work out that way though.

Not even a little bit.

Because while I was on my way back to Forks, Bella was on her way to Seattle to see Phil. I wanted to be mad at her, hell I was mad at her when she told me she was leaving, but it only lasted about a minute, probably less. Once I stopped being such an insensitive, whiny asshole, I realized how huge it was she was leaving her mother.

It wasn't just huge, it was Mt. Everest, Grand Canyon … Great Wall of China huge.

Gargantuan.

She's come so far, and is trying so hard, so the last thing she needed was me pouting, even though I really wanted to. From her texts and the phone call I got right before she left for Seattle, I'd gathered that Phil had wanted to spend some time with her before school started. I know it means so much to Bella that the lines of communication between the two of them are so much more open now, but I have to say, when she told me she was going to leave her mom, I asked her to repeat it … twice.

It probably shouldn't have surprised me.

She seemed to get stronger, braver every day I was gone. It was in the tone of her emails, the lightness of her text messages, and the happiness I heard in her voice when we talked on the phone. She grieved for her mom and missed her everyday and I didn't think that would ever change, but over the past almost month it was like a switch had been flipped and she was living again, trying again … finding herself again.

And I wanted her to do all those things with me, but I couldn't because she was going to be in Seattle until the weekend when Phil would come back with her so he was here for her first day of school.

I guess it turned out to be a good thing though, because as soon as I woke up Monday morning, I started going and didn't stop all week. School supply shopping, dentist appointment, haircut, pre-season soccer practice at school, a meeting with Principal Banner and the Student Council about what was expected of us on the first day of school, and a hundred other little things kept me busy all day, every day, so even if Bella had been here, we wouldn't have had any time to spend with each other anyway … and it's not like I could out of the blue say, 'hey, Mom and Dad, you know that new girl, Bella, that you told me to watch out for? Well, surprise, we already know each other' now could I?

Oh, but I heard plenty about her.

Way, way more than I wanted to, but I knew it would happen sooner or later.

During the meeting with Mr. Banner, Jessica and Angela went on and on about the new girl that was starting, wondering if she was going to be a stuck-up bitch or shy and sweet or somewhere in between. When Mom and I were in the Thriftway stopping to pick up some food for dinner I overheard Mrs. Newton in the checkout line clicking her tongue to the cashier about the poor girl with her invalid mother that had been hidden in Forks because of some scandal.

It took all I had not to tell the bitch to shut the fuck up about things she had no clue about.

All the guys on the soccer team wondered if the new girl was going to be hot and Mike and Garrett took bets on who could get her to go out with them first. That time it was Jasper that deftly moved between me and the douchebags so I didn't get benched before the season even started.

I wanted to kill them for talking about my Bella that way … of course they didn't know she was my Bella, no one did, but by the time the first bell rang tomorrow, all of Forks High damn sure would.

I didn't care if I had to find a bullhorn from somewhere and announce it to the whole fucking school, I would. I've been waiting for her for three months, I wasn't waiting one more fucking day.

So that's why, when I should be home sleeping, I'm instead running through the woods … to her, to let her know in no uncertain terms, I'm not waiting any longer.

Tomorrow … she's mine, and I'm not letting anything get in my way.
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~

Watching Her Chapter 48 Pic Tease - Prince Phillip

Watching Her Chapter 47 - Mrs. Potts

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
Chapter 47 - Mrs. Potts - Beauty and the Beast
Mrs. Potts is kind and consoling, but can be stern when the situation calls for her to be. She is very motherly.

A little more than a week after Edward leaves for camp …

"Hey, Bella, I was thinking about making chicken parmesan for dinner. Does that sound good?" Maggie asks as she pokes her head into Mom's room.

I look from the book I'm holding in my lap, the one that I haven't turned a page on in more than fifteen minutes truth be told. My mind's definitely not on Elizabeth and her Mr. Darcy today.

"Sure, that sounds great," I tell her, my stomach suddenly making itself known at the mention of Maggie's chicken parm - it's to die for. "Do we still have any of the bread left from yesterday?" I ask before she can turn away.

"We sure do," she answers with a knowing smile.

We've been cooking and baking a lot together this week, trying out some new recipes. It's been fun, if not a little bittersweet. Mom loved to bake. Cooking wasn't really her thing, not that she was horrible at it, but she really loved to bake. I like that cooking and baking makes me feel closer to her somehow, instead of like moving on without her.

The day after Edward left, I promised myself that I would use the time he was gone to really try to be ready to do more than just be. I want to do.

For him, because of him … I want to do.

She starts to walk off, but I call her back. "Hey, Mag?" She looks back, eyes widened in question. "How about we sit outside on the deck? It's a nice night out."

If eyeballs could fall out of heads like they do in cartoons, Maggie's would be on the floor and rolling away, all the way out the door right now.

"Ah, sure, sweetie, that sounds really nice." She stands still and gazes at me, and I know she's trying to figure out what I've done with her Bella … or maybe she's wondering if I've been taken over by an alien.
Whatever she's searching for, she obviously doesn't find because she waits just one more moment before turning around again and going down the hall toward the kitchen.

I close the book and look across at the hospital bed. The low hum of machines hooked up to keep a constant record of Mom's blood pressure and pulse fills the room as always, as does the aura of sickness. No matter how many times the windows are opened or how many candles are lit in the room, the scent never goes away. I sometimes wonder if I'll always smell it.

"Okay, Mom, that's enough of Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth for today. I'll be back in a little bit. It's about time Maggie and I have a nice long talk," I whisper, and wince a bit at the twist of my stomach and the sharp pang of longing in my heart. "Love you, Mom, so much."

I bend down to kiss her papery thin cheek that's soft like it's always been, but the sunken skin and ashen color is a stark reminder that though she still looks like my mom, in most ways at least, the mom I remember is long gone.

I make my way to the kitchen and step beside Maggie. Seamlessly we get dinner ready; chatting a little while the heady aroma of tomato and garlic wafts through the kitchen making my mouth water. Since I've lifted my self-imposed exile and started spending more time out of my room … and Mom's room, I've found that Maggie's a lot of fun to be around. She loves to sing while she cooks, she watches every reality show on TV she can find and talks about the people on them as if they're her long-lost best friends – she watches so many it's next to impossible to keep track of them all. I usually just nod and respond every few minutes while she goes on and on about what Kim is doing and how that Adam is a nice-looking young man. She's been trying to get me to agree to let her teach me how to knit, which I have to say looks pretty relaxing, but I don't want to tell her that. She loves to play Bejeweled on the computer and she always has a pencil tucked behind her ear because she's forever making lists. Lists of what I have no idea, but she's constantly writing stuff down.

All of which makes her a pretty wonderful woman and one that I've come to appreciate a great deal.
Once the food's done, we fix our plates, grab the basket of the bread we baked yesterday, our drinks, and take everything outside. The sun's just begun to set making the sky a soft lavender color that's streaked with blues and pinks. The day's been clear and warm making it so that sitting outside in shorts and a t-shirt is comfortable. Crickets chirp, there's a very gentle breeze, and I can't help but wonder if the night's as nice in Eugene and whether or not Edward's enjoying it as much as I am.

Thinking of him causes me to grab my phone, the one that's never out of reach these days, and flip it over to see if there's a message from him. I huff when there's not and flip it back over.

When I look up, Maggie's studying me, closely … too close judging by the tightness of her mouth and the slight narrowing of her eyes.

Shit.

I sigh, figuring it's about time to get this out of the way. We've been avoiding it all week. Ever since Edward left, I know she's noticed the way I carry my phone with me everywhere I go. Up until he started texting me, I'd get a text or two from Phil a day, maybe, and every now and then some forward that one of my friends from Phoenix sent. Now, it's like it's permanently attached to my fingers and she's caught me more than once typing furiously on my laptop, not to mention writing in my notebook.

So, yeah, this conversation has been a long time coming.

"Have you met a new friend?" she asks as she cuts her chicken.

The smile that spreads across my face when I think of Edward speaks for itself. A new friend … a best friend. I gasp, slapping a hand over my mouth at the sudden realization. Of course he's my best friend; I wonder if he knows that? My hands start fluttering, the need to tell him, to let him know that besides all the other stuff, like the fact that he's the most amazing person I've ever met in my life and makes me feel all warm and squishy inside, that he truly is my best friend.

Maggie reaches over and places her hand on top of mine to still it. "Okay, now what's going on? You look like you're about to jump out of your skin, and don't think I haven't noticed that you've smiled more this past week than you have in the entire time I've known you. Talk to me, Bella."

I take a deep breath as I look at her and I can see how much she cares about me … and not because she's being paid to do so, but because she honestly and truly does. She may have been brought into my life in the most horrible circumstance imaginable, but there's no denying how good of a person she is.

Besides, I need to talk to someone … like really, really badly.

"Yeah, I have a new friend." I can't help but press my free hand against my stomach to try to calm the riot of butterflies currently bouncing around inside just from the thought of Edward.

"That's great, Bella! Where did you meet her? What's her name? Why don't you have her come over? When do I get to meet her?" she asks excitedly. I feel bad for a brief moment because she's so excited for me …
I've made her so worried for so long.

"Um," I begin as I try to figure out how to word what I need to say. "It's not a she, it's a he." With that her eyebrows lift to her hairline. "His name is Edward."

The breathy way his name comes out can't even be helped because finally being able to say his name out loud is so nice.

"He, ah … well, he can't come over because he's away right now, soccer camp, but he's, well … he's been here, but not here inside the house here," I clarify but from the confused look on her face I can tell I'm not making any sense as I keep rambling. I tend to do that when I'm nervous. Right now, with Maggie's mouth pursed and her hand continuing its pat pat on top of mine, I'm not sure I've ever been so nervous … so as I'm apt to do, I speed through the rest, the most important part. "And well … you see, I've never, what I mean is, I've talked to him, but um … I've never actually, ah … um, met him."

I puff my cheeks and blow out a large, cleansing breath, so happy to have that out of the way.

At least I was until Maggie asked the one question I'd been dreading but knew was coming. "How exactly is he your friend if you've never met him? I don't understand."

So, I start from the beginning, cringing when her mouth opens and her jaw hits the table. I keep going though, and tell her all of it. Slowly but surely her mouth closes, though her grip on my hand tightens. She doesn't look exactly upset, but she sure as hell isn't smiling either.

I guess I can't blame her because even I got a little freaked out describing everything that's happened over the past weeks. How this ever managed to turn out as perfectly as it did, I'll never know, but it doesn't matter now, anyway.

I got the guy … and he's perfect and wonderful, and even if it doesn't make sense to anyone else, it makes sense to the two of us.

She continues to look at me, the silence weighted and tense before she leans back just a bit. Her shoulders relax and she tilts her head.

"Bella Swan, I don't know whether to shake you for doing something so dangerous, or give you a hug for finally doing something for yourself for a change." She huffs, but when the corners of her mouth lift, I know that while she's a bit peeved at me, she's not really all that mad, so I grin back at her and push my luck, just a little bit.

"Hugs are always good, Maggie. I'm too big to shake anyway."

"Don't sass me, little girl," she says with a sigh and I know she'll be okay. She takes a drink of her iced tea and stares off in the direction of the backyard. I don't think she's really taking in the picturesque scenery, so I don't say anything while she's obviously figuring out what to say to me.

"You've been so different for weeks now, I knew something had happened. This," she grunts with a wave of her hand between us and in the general direction of my phone, "isn't even close to what I thought it was, but I can't deny that you are most definitely not the same girl that moved here the beginning of summer."

"Edward's been a really good friend," I say quietly, but surely, and meaning it with my whole heart. The boy might make my insides rock and roll, but beneath all the flirting and CDs and cookies and silly pens, we're friends, best friends, first and foremost. I know he has Jasper and Emmett, and even Alice and Rose, but I know what we share is different from what he gives them. I don't know how I know, I just do.

She sighs again and shifts a little in her seat like she's trying to get comfortable because what she's about to say is liable to be anything but. "Bella," and the way she says my name I know it's not going to be anything I want to hear. "I'm not your mother, I'm not even family, but I love you as much as if you were my own and have almost from the moment Phil asked me to take care of you as well as Renée. I know you're almost eighteen but you have to know how incredibly dangerous what you did truly was. I can't even begin to think what Phil would say if he knew how you've been spending your nights, well early mornings, for the past month and a half." She shakes her head a little bit, as if trying to keep herself from saying something she's not sure she should say. "I hate to ask this when you seem so happy, but are you even sure this Edward is really who you think he is?"

I want to huff and slap my hands down on the table and tell her it's none of her damn business, and as sad as it is to say, two months ago I probably would have done just that, but instead I breathe in and out through my nose. I cringe and I get so mad at myself when I think about how closed-off I was just a few short months ago, refusing to talk to anyone, and wallowing as if I was the only one affected by what happened to my mom. Never mind Phil, who lost his wife and the love of his life. It was all about me, me, me.

Ugh.

I roll my eyes at her and say, "I know this all seems incredibly strange, and I suppose it is, but give me some credit, Mag. I Googled the Forks High Soccer team as soon as he told me his number and saw his name in the search, along with his best friends, whose names he also told me."

"So," she pokes the back of my hand and grins at me, "what does he look like, is he cute?"

And just like that, she's doing exactly what I need her to do. I get where she's coming from, and to be really honest, it's nice to know she just wants me to be okay, but I need to talk. "I don't know, I didn't look at the picture of the team. The page was loading and it was just about to come up, but before it did, I closed it."

"Bella! Why? Don't you want to know what he looks like?" she asks and I scoff because want to know doesn't even come close.

Ache.

Need.

Crave.

And even those don't really convey just how much I want it.

"Of course I do." I huff, frustrated because I don't even know if I can explain this so that it makes sense. "At first, it was kind of exciting, you know, not knowing what he looked like. I could make up this picture in my mind based on the things he told me and the way he described himself. Then as we talked more, it was almost like knowing what he looked like was almost too much. I'd told him all about Mom and Phil and Dad, but there was still that little barrier, that little piece that still let me hide."

My voice becomes softer and I reach for my phone and curl my fingers around it, feeling closer to Edward somehow because now, he's only the push of a button away … or a tap on the screen I suppose. "And once Phil left and I finally stopped thinking about only myself and I really started talking to Edward, it was almost time for him to leave for camp and he was so worried about not being ready that I couldn't distract him, no matter how much I wanted it. I could Google him, I could look on the Forks High website and find him, but when I see him for the first time, I want it to be him and me and not through a computer screen. I want to see his eyes and the crazy bronze-colored hair he keeps complaining about. I want to see him smile and know that when he looks at me, he sees the Bella I want to be."

"Oh, sweetie." She sniffs and then wipes beneath her eyes with the tips of her fingers. "Do you care what he looks like? I mean what if he has a crooked nose or bad teeth or wears that horrible black eyeliner every day?" I think she's teasing but my answer's serious.

"You might not believe this, but I don't care." She tilts her head and arches one eyebrow indicating that she doesn't believe me. "I really don't. Don't get me wrong, if he's cute, and I'm almost positive cute doesn't even come close, that's just icing on the cake. He's beautiful inside, and he makes me feel that way, too; that's what matters more than anything."

I could feel embarrassed about gushing like that, but I don't. I mean every word.

"Well, please tell me you at least looked at his last name!" She laughs.

I nod and take a drink of my ice water. "I did, but he told me anyway. It's Cullen, Edward Cullen."

Maggie gasps and then coughs because apparently she's swallowed her tongue for some reason.

"Did you say Cullen?" she asks, eyes wide and watering and her mouth open. I nod and her grin rivals the cat that swallowed the canary. "Oh, dear, I'd say you don't have anything whatsoever to worry about when it comes to your Edward."

I must look at her like she's lost her ever-loving mind which only makes her laugh harder. "Sweetie, I might be old, but I'm not blind. His dad's a doctor I bet." When I tell her yes she gets this dreamy look on her face. "I've met Dr. Cullen when I had to talk with him about your mom's case. Girl, the man is the epitome of a hottie. If your Edward looks anything like his father, you are one very, very lucky girl."

Your Edward … My Edward … oh, I like the sound of that.

I like it a whole hell of a lot.

We chat for a few more minutes, and then she gets up and takes the dishes back into the kitchen, telling me to go ahead and text him because I look like I'm about to go crazy.

I turn the phone around in my hands a few times, thinking about the conversation Maggie and I just had, and I'm really glad that everything's out in the open now. Talking about it makes it seem almost more real in a way. Of course I didn't tell her everything. After all, a girl's gotta have some secrets, right?

Needing to talk to him in the worst way, I type out a quick message, relishing in the fact that being able to talk to him whenever … well, when he's not busy anyway, pretty much kicks ass.

Just wanted to say hi. How did the game go? 

I have no idea if he's done yet, but I giggle and let out the girliest sigh when he sends a message right back.
I'm so crazy about him it's not even funny.

I was just thinking about u! It was good I started and played the whole game so that's good. I'm tired as fuck though. How was ur day? 

I snort at the curse word, only because I sometimes wonder if he even realizes how often he does it. I don't think it should turn me on as much as it does either, but it always does something to me. He's so sweet most of the time, I can't help but really, really like when a little bad boy slips in.

Are u done for the night? Day was fine … spent some time with my drums today and had a nice dinner w/ Maggie. Told her about u

I hope he's not drinking anything when he sees that message, because he's liable to spit it all out. Poor boy.

Ohhh, and just what were u practicing? Bet I know ;) Told her everything ...do I even want to know how that went

It was fine … she said ur dad was a hottie though, is he?

Ugh, Bella! I can't believe u asked me that! Just no, ok? And jsyk … I'm way hotter than he is. He's old. 

And there's the Creeper I know.

Hmmm, well I suppose I'll have to see you both and judge for myself

Soon baby and I can't fucking wait. I gotta go. I'll send an email later, k? I miss you xoxo 

Soon … I sigh. I really freaking hope so.

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~

Date: Wednesday, 15 August, 2012 10:43:17
From: Bella Swan bellaswan at gmail . com
To: Edward Cullen ecullen18 at yahoo . com

Edward, 

So you remember last week and we were talking about your dad? Um, can I just say that your dad is not old and I'm thinking Maggie's right about the whole Dr. Cullen's a hottie thing. 

I met him today. He came by to check on Mom and to discuss a few things with Maggie. He's so nice, Edward, you're very lucky. And ah … you know when you called earlier and I didn't answer? That's when he was here. Well, he heard the phone ring and mentioned that it was your favorite song, so, yeah, talk about a little awkward. I didn't know what to say! I couldn't exactly say 'well, you know, Dr. Cullen, the entire month you were gone he sort of spent most every night standing outside watching me until all hours of the morning', now could I? 

Do you ever think about how you'll tell them we know each other? Or will you even do that? 

I don't want them to think badly of me … although I guess you were the watcher and I was the watchee so maybe I'm good. Who knows? 

He's really great, Edward, and so, so nice. It's been such a long time since a doctor talked to me like I was a person and really cared about what I was feeling. He gave me a lot to think about, but he did it in a way that wasn't hurtful or that made me feel like he was wasting his time by talking to me. 

How was your day? Was the game good tonight? I'm sure you did great. How are Emmett and Jasper doing? I laughed at the forwarded email you sent earlier from Alice. I think I'm really going to like your friends, I just hope they like me. It's been a long time since I've had to meet so many new people.
I'm nervous but really excited, too, and of course I'll have you and that's really all I need. 

I miss you. 

I still go outside every night, but it's just not the same without you here. I still feel you, though, and I like that … a lot, but it's still not as good as having you close by. 

I hope things are going well for you, Edward. I know how hard you've worked and how much you want this. And no matter what you say, I know I've kept you from being as focused as you've probably needed to be. I feel bad about that but I can't lie and say I'm not really happy about the way things have turned out. Who would've thought it, huh? 

Just goes to show you what can happen when you take a chance on something, right? 

Anyway, I need to go shower and stuff … It'll be time to go outside soon. The moon's bright tonight, I like thinking about us looking at it at the same time, makes it seem like you're not so far away. 

Night …

Yours,

Bella

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~

My phone vibrates and I pick it up so fast, I almost drop it. I know it's from Edward and I take a deep breath before I tap the screen to bring up the text message.

"Please be good news, please be good news," I chant and squeeze my eyes shut.

I take a deep breath and carefully, slowly, open one eye just enough to peek.

Holy shit, I made it! Coming home 2morrow, can't wait. Miss you baby so fucking much xoxo E~
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~

Watching Her Chapter 47 Pic Tease - Mrs. Potts

Watching Her Chapter 46 - Buzz Lightyear

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
Chapter 46 - Buzz Lightyear - Toy Story 2
He's on a mission!

"Yellow, number 18," the center ref calls as he raises his hand with the stupid yellow rectangle in his stupid hand.

I turn without a word, my jaw so tight I know I'm going to have a headache, not that I won't have one from that fucker's elbow anyway.

"Cullen!"

"Fuck," I mutter angrily when Coach calls me from the sideline. I see red when I notice that asshole Matt Baker standing at the center stripe next to the line referee.

"Sub." The center whistles and waves Matt onto the field.

I wonder if I can get away with tripping the dickhead. He saunters past me, whispering a smug, "Enjoy your breather, Cullen," as he goes by.

Jasper gives me a look, which I ignore, and stalk off the field and throw myself down on the bench. I rest my elbows on my legs and hang my head, sweat dripping down my face and the sun beating against my back, but I don't pay much attention.

God damn motherfucking sonofabitch bastard

A shadow falls over me and I take a deep breath before raising my head. I know Coach is going to have smoke coming out of his ears when I look up. I lift. Oh yeah … smoke, lots and lots of smoke … eyes narrowed, arms crossed, and he's so mad his face is practically purple.

Fuck me.

"You mind telling me what in the world is the matter with you today?" he bites out angrily. He's so pissed, he doesn't even raise his voice. That's never a good thing. I cringe because I know I fucked up, big time.

He stands in front of me, just waiting for me to argue with him, but I won't. I can't. This is all on me.

"Edward." He sighs after an excruciating few minutes of making me squirm. He takes a seat beside me and tells our assistant coach to take over for a few minutes. "Now, what in the hell is going on with you?"

We're playing the first game of the day and it couldn't be more different from the one I played last night. In that one I was on fucking fire. Everything was perfect: perfect passes, perfect headers, two perfect goals … it was one of the best games I've ever played in my life. This morning, it's like I'm running through quicksand with my shoes untied and I couldn't hit the broadside of a barn if I was standing right in front of it.

Camp has gone well. Really, really well as a matter-of-fact. Our team's performed at the top of our game when it's really counted. The workouts have been hard, exhausting, but after every session I feel like I did the best I could. I've heard some of the coaches talking and my name's been brought up more than a few times. At night during the showcase games, I always get to start, and I always get to play the entire ninety minutes. My free kicks have been rock solid and I've even managed to impress myself a few times with some of my shots on goal.

All in all, I'm really happy with the way things have gone so far … up until right now that is.

"Did you see that guy? He was all over me, Coach, and then that stupid ref didn't even call it. I mean, what the hell was I supposed to do?" I throw my arms up in the air and look at him, daring him to argue with me.

"What you're supposed to do is act like the Captain of this team and keep your head, Cullen. You're lucky all you got was a yellow card and not a red for that blatant foul, or else your ass would be sitting the bench tonight, and you and I both know you can't afford that. Especially not tonight."

"Fucking hell," I mutter and hang my head again.

There's a few beats of very heavy and very awkward silence. "Sorry," I tell him quietly when I look up at him and his eyebrows raise. He usually lets the bad language go, up to a point … and I've already past it and then some.

"Edward," he begins and his voice has changed again and it almost makes me feel worse.

I'm aggressive and intense when I play, I always have been, but I usually keep my cool, mostly anyway.

"It won't happen again," I tell him and take a deep breath.

My entire body is tense, and I feel like I'm just about to explode if something doesn't give. I am lucky the refs have let us pretty much just play so far because even I know that call should have been a red and not a yellow. Jesus. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot.

"Look, I know you're nervous about the game tonight, but you really don't need to be. You've got this, trust me. You've worked hard and it shows. You've got talent and the coaches can all see that. So you had a bad game, it's not the end of the world, but you can't let a few shoves in the back …"

I huff and he grunts but keeps going. "A few shoves in the back and an elbow or two in the gut get to you so badly. Pressure's a part of life, Edward, and a part of playing this game. If you want this, and I know you do, you need to be able to handle this better."

"I know," I answer him back quietly.

All I want is for this game to be over so I can go take a shower and maybe call Bella. I need to hear her voice.

"Now, drink some water and I'll put you back in," he says as he stands up. "One more foul though, and you'll sit the bench for the rest of the game, and you won't start tonight either, got me?"

I nod.

My mind's moving at about a hundred miles an hour but I try to take a few deep breaths and clear it, just enough to get me through the rest of the game. I stand up and drink some water. I bend over and stretch, not that I really need to since I didn't sit long enough for my muscles to get tight and it's not the least bit cool out, but the movement helps me to focus. I look up and scan the field, watching my team move the ball up the field and I start to bounce on my feet. My fingers twitch and I can feel the adrenaline starting to flow again.
I'm ready to go back in.

The rest of the game finishes on a high note, a set piece that resulted in a beautiful pass to Jasper that he headed into the goal.

"You okay?" Jasper asks after we shake hands with the other team and walk back toward our bench.

I shrug and do some sort of half nod shake of my head thing because at this point I don't really know how I am, besides missing and needing Bella.

"Coach mad?"

I sit on the bench and push my socks down and undo my shin guards, feeling the breeze cool the sweat that's gathered along my legs. "Disappointed more than anything," I tell him and cringe because that's a hell of a lot worse than if he's pissed at me.

In the grand scheme of things, the card isn't that big of a deal, and besides the asshole deserved the elbow for hanging all over my back like he was. Though, if Jasper wouldn't have pushed his way between us, I know I would've hit the guy. The urge was there. I'd been fighting it since the first whistle to just do something to release all the pent up energy I have inside and his face would have made an excellent outlet because kicking the ball wasn't doing it for me.

"Edward," Jasper says as he sighs.

Emmett sits down beside me and thumps me on the back just once and then he's up again, but not before raising his eyebrows to check on me. I give him a quick nod and then he's off to talk to Coach.

I finish taking all my gear off and slide my bare feet into slip-on sandals and hike my soccer bag onto my shoulder. "Jas, chill, okay? I've just got a lot on my mind; it's no big deal."

He gives me a level stare and I roll my eyes and smirk a little bit. It'd be really fucking nice to be able to bullshit him … just once, but now's not the time apparently. "Okay, fine, tonight's a big deal. I'm just …" I shift from foot to foot and run a hand through my damp hair.

He gives me a slap on the back, though from him I don't feel like his hand's going to come out the other side like it does from Emmett. "Take your own advice, my friend, and chill. You've got this. Everyone knows this … everyone but you, apparently."

I snort, and say nothing. I'm not giving him the satisfaction of telling him he's right again.

He nudges me with his knee and then stands up. "Call Bella; you'll feel better. And tell her I said hi." He grins as he walks off and I see him reach for his phone, texting Alice I'm sure.

Gotta say, it's really fucking nice to have my own someone to talk to for a change.

We have to meet with Coach to go over some plays for tonight's game so I don't have time to call, but I do have time to send a quick text.

You know what would be fucking awesome right now? Sugar cookies.

I make it about four steps before there's a message back. Nice. I wonder if that means she was thinking about me?

Will any do or do you mean mine?

I snort and roll my eyes. As if there could be anyone else's anything … ever.

Of course yours. World Peace DG, I'm not kidding. I really want some now damn it

You always want sugar cookies Edward. Any particular shape? How was the game?

Only yours, I tap out immediately and try to ignore the twisty turny thing that still happens all the damn time. I huff when I think about the game and the foul and tell her, got any drumsticks? I could use them to beat some sense into my dumb ass

Ouch guess that answers my ? about the game. You ok?

I am, for the most part anyway, and I don't want her to worry so I answer, Yeah, I'm fine just one of those days I guess. Gotta get to team mtg but can I call you later?

Her answer is immediate.

Of course. Maybe I can beat some sense into you long distance?

I laugh because my girl's all kinds of fucking awesome. I feel better already.

I should prob let you after today. I'll call before the next game … later baby
later xoxoxo

And now, cue the twisty turny thing again. Plus, three hugs and three kisses … I usually only get two. I like it.

I make sure my phone's on silent and then drop it into my bag before taking my seat in the locker room. We have another training session in the afternoon and then I shower before dinner, knowing as soon as I'm done, I'm going to spend a few minutes on the phone with Bella.

"I'll catch up with you guys in a little bit," I tell Em and Jasper when I grab my bag and put my warm-up jacket on over my practice shirt.

"Say hey to Bella, loverboy." Emmett snickers. I flip him off before I head out of the cafeteria and toward the quad.

The University of Oregon campus is really nice, not that I've had a lot of time to look around. We get up at the asscrack of dawn, eat breakfast, train, play the first match of the day, eat lunch, train again, dinner, then another game, so there hasn't been much time for sightseeing. I find an empty bench and throw my bag on the ground before slouching against the back and stretching my legs out in front of me.

There aren't a lot of students out at this time of night, and I guess the summer sessions are always less crowded than the regular fall and spring semesters. I look at the few people I do see walking around and try to picture myself a few months later than this only next year, and I wonder where I'll be. I know where I want to go to school, but there's a lot still left to decide before I make any of those kinds of decisions. A lot can happen to change where I end up: what happens tonight, what happens if I get held over, what Bella's going to do, what happens with her mom.

It might be kind of crazy to already be thinking in terms of after high school and include Bella in that picture, seeing as how we haven't even so much as gone on a first date yet, not to mention that whole she doesn't even know what I look like thing, but I know what I want, and I want her.

All of her.

All day, every day for a really, really long fucking time.

I've needed to step back a bit these past few weeks no matter how much I didn't want to. If tonight goes like I hope it will, then it was worth it, but once I get back and we start school, there's not going to be anymore holding back.

The trip to Seattle was fun, not gonna lie. My parents took us to a Sounders game one night, my dad took me and the guys to a Mariner's game the next night (Phil was not pitching, thank goodness because that would have been just plain weird) and then the night after that, Em, Jas, and I got to go see the UFC fight. It was fucking awesome. Mom and Dad had arranged with Ali's and Rose's parents to let the girls come up for the rest of the week so we could all hang out by the pool at the hotel and go to Six Flags. It was a lot of fun, but it made me miss Bella so much. Seeing them all together and knowing that Bella was home alone was like torture, and I vowed never again.

It's a promise I intend to keep.

She's been amazing the whole time I've been gone, which literally feels like for fucking ever. We've emailed every day, sometimes just a short hello and sometimes long, long messages where I find out new things about her and she finds out more about me, more than I'd probably like her, too, but I can't help myself. Last names have been shared, which wasn't too hard to figure out since her email address is an unoriginal bellaswan at gmail and my ecullen18 at yahoo isn't any better. I didn't have much choice about telling her mine because she asked if my dad was Dr. Cullen. Apparently he's been by her house check on her mom while I've been gone.

I've written to her every night I've been away; in fact, my notebook's almost full. It definitely will be by the time I get home, and sending text messages has become my new favorite thing to do … well, besides think about her of course.

But I always do that, so nothing new there, unless you count the fact that now that I've touched her, kissed her … albeit just the back of her hand, but still it was lips against skin so it totally counts as a kiss … been close enough to tell that yes, indeed, she smells even better than sugar cookies, my thoughts aren't always so sweet. In fact, some are downright dirty. Part of me feels a little guilty for thinking of Bella that way, but then I think about the way her voice sounds all raspy and breathless, and with that soft, lilting accent that comes out when she doesn't even know it, and I can't help myself. Her voice, her body, her face … just her, from her toes all the way up to the top of her head drives me fucking insane and all I can do sometimes is think about seeing her naked, kissing every inch of her body, and wrapping those sexy as hell legs around my waist while I fuck her up against the wall of her building, or bent over the arm of her loveseat, or my favorite fantasy, spread out on the hood of her fuckhot car.

I'm a guy - hot girls and hot cars is always a winning combination.

Even though thinking about Bella that way always makes me hard, honestly what gets me going even more is just talking to her, so I pull my phone out of my bag and hit the speed dial, #1, for her number. My knee bounces as the phone rings and as soon as I hear, "Hello," a huge smile breaks out over my face and once again, all is right in my world.

"Hey. So, are my cookies done yet?"

"Oh, you meant you wanted some today?" she teases and I immediately forget what I'm supposed to be worried about as soon as I hear her giggle.

"I told you, Bella, I want some every day."

"It's a good thing you have to run while you play soccer or else you'd have a problem on your hands."

I groan a little bit at the mention of soccer and my nerves start again. "Yeah, good thing," I say sort of absently, thoughts of the imminent game settling heavily over me.

"Hey, what's wrong? Tell me what happened at the game this morning," she says softly and I sigh, but tell her what happened. Saying it out loud to her makes it sound even more stupid than it was at the time, but she doesn't make me feel that way. "Edward, you're allowed to have an off day, you know? Don't be so hard on yourself."

"I know." I huff and pick at the peeling paint on the bench, and watch as I flick the flakes off with my fingernail. I'm trying to put into words what's really bothering me, but as has become increasingly clear, Bella knows me almost too well already.

"You're worried about the game tonight, aren't you?" I nod and then roll my eyes at my dumb ass because duh, she can't see me, but it doesn't matter because she goes on. She already knows the answer is yes anyway. "And that guy, the one you told me about, he's on the team you're playing, right?" Again, she already knows the answer.

"Bella, this game tonight is everything." I groan and slouch on the bench even more and tip my head back to look at the sky streaked with pinks and grays as the sun begins to set.

"Um, no, it's really not," she says softly, but very, very surely.

I open my mouth to argue with her and tell her she doesn't understand, but before I can get a word out she goes on. "I know you're nervous and it makes sense you are, but you can't treat this game any differently than you would any other game. You just need to go out there and do your thing, and not worry about who's watching or what they're saying about you."

"But," I begin but she cuts me off.

"But nothing, Edward. I might not have ever seen you play, which I'm dying to do by the way." With that the twisty turny thing is like a rollercoaster full of loop de loops and I feel warm all over because I want that, too. So, so much. I can't wait to share that part of myself with her.

"But I know you're ready for this. And that guy, the one you think is so much better than you …" She kind of growls and I like the way she sounds all fierce and protective and shit. I like it a lot. "He's not."

She says it so matter-of-fact, so sure, that I feel kind of stupid for even thinking of doubting her.

I get lost in my head for a few moments, thinking of the game and the coaches that are going to be watching and all the things I've heard about David Rivera and seen with my own eyes. The guy's good. He's really good, but as I try to be objective about it, I know he's not any better than me. We may play the same position and be trying to win the same spot on the same team, but that doesn't mean I can't beat him.
Besides, they haven't even picked the team yet; tonight's announcement is just to let us know who's being held over to be looked at. The really hard work comes next week … if I'm still here.

"Fine, maybe he's not," I concede slowly and I can practically see her nodding her head and giving me a look. Obviously she's never given me a look before thanks to the no seeing each other before I left for camp thing, but she's a girl … and all girls have the look.

I have a mom and she gives my dad the look all the time. Ali gives it to Jasper, and Rose … good God, the poor girl's eyes are going to permanently stay that half narrowed half glare thing she gives Emmett if she's not careful because she uses it so much. Not that the idiot doesn't deserve it, but Rose is too pretty to be stuck looking like that forever.

I sigh and run a hand through my hair, feeling a hundred times better just from talking to her. It's not that she's told me anything I didn't really already know myself, but hearing her tell me that I can do what I need to do helps more than I can tell her. I do say softly, "Thanks, baby. I needed that."

"Well, I can't beat you over the head with drumsticks from here, but I can talk to you if you need me. I'm glad I could help, now, are you ready to kick some ass and take names?" She giggles and it's the best fucking sound in the world … next to her saying my name that is.

"Yep, I'm ready. So tell me about your day, what did you do?" I ask, needing to forget about soccer for just a few minutes.

I listen as she tells me what she's done and I have to tease when she talks about going outside to play for a little bit. "Better make sure my song's perfect … you were practicing it, right?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she sasses right back and I know she's enjoying the torture she's putting me through. Evil, evil tease that she is.

I fucking love it, too, which she very surely knows.

We talk for a few more minutes until I look down at my watch and realize I need to be at the field in ten minutes.

"I gotta go. Thanks for knocking some sense into me," I tell her as I stand up and pick up my bag.

"Well, if you need someone to beat you over the head, I'm your girl." She laughs and I stop walking, curling my fingers around my phone.

"Damn straight you are." I take a deep breath and I smile when I hear her breathing a little faster on the other end. "I miss you," I tell her, but my heart says, I love you.

And, God, do I ever. Every day it's more and more and more.

"I miss you, too," she says as she sighs. "Being outside isn't the same when you're not there." Fuck me if I don't love hearing that.

"Soon, Bella. Soon."

Soon can't come fucking soon enough.

"Soon."

"I'll text you when I'm done and let you know how it went, okay?"

"You've got this, Edward. You can do it, I know you can. Now kick their asses, got it?"

"Got it."

I hear her breathe and it sort of wraps around me and fills me up. "I wish I was there to cheer you on."

And because she makes me feel things I've never even imagined I tell her, "You're always with me." I look up and I'm at the locker room. I have no idea how I managed to get here without paying attention, but now that I'm here, I can feel my muscles tense and my blood start pumping.

It's time to do what I came here to do.

"Okay, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye."

I take a deep breath as I stare at the door, letting the adrenaline spread and take a few minutes to clear my mind.

"You can do this, Edward," I tell myself before I push open the door.

A few hours later I send Bella a text, Soon's gonna have to wait a little longer baby cause I'm staying another week! XOXO! E
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