Watching Her Chapter 32 - Little John

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
Chapter 32 - Little John - Robin Hood
Little John appears to be more cautious than Robin Hood and often reminds his friend of potential consequences of his plans. He is loyal, jovial, strong, and big-hearted.

"Okay, so let me get this straight," Emmett says as he looks me right in the eyes. He holds up his left hand, fingers curled into a fist. "You saw some girl drive through town one day and couldn't stop thinking about her." Up goes the index finger. "You went for a run because you couldn't sleep, heard something, went to see what it was, and stumbled across her playing the drums at two in the fucking morning." Next the middle finger; that one is accompanied by a smirk. "You kept going back, every night, same time, same place to watch her … like just stand there in the dark and watch?" He quirks an eyebrow and waits, not saying a word and his eyes never leave mine until I nod. He lifts his ring finger. "You bought her drumsticks, left a note, and started some notebook switching thing as your only means of communication because somehow walking up to the girl and I don't know, introducing yourself, just wouldn't be right."

Jasper snorts, enjoying my discomfort way too fucking much and I glare at him. He's sitting across the table from me, his arms crossed over his chest, and a gleam in his eye. Asshole. If I can figure out a way to do it, I'm so making him pay for this.

Yeah, yeah, it's all my own fault, but still.

Emmett clears his throat and lifts the pinky finger, wiggling it to be a jackass. "You skip practice, go without sleep, skulk around the hospital, don't tell your best friends what's going on until you get drunk on your birthday and spill the beans. You miss a night of watching her, and somehow that's the equivalent of the Apocalypse and this causes you to go into a full blown panic." He shakes his head at me and then turns to look at Jasper who simply raises one shoulder, like he has no idea either.

The thumb is last, sticking straight out. "And lastly, you finally have some information, which you won't and say you can't tell us, yet you somehow have a container of the most fuckawesome cookies I've ever seen in my life from the mystery drummer girl, Bella … yes I peeked when I was in your room yesterday … and now you're sporting the biggest fucking smile I've ever seen from you, like you should be shooting rainbows and shit out of your ass or something." He holds all five fingers up, waving it back and forth. "Does that about cover it?"

I fold my arms on the table in front of me and lower my head. "More or less," I mumble, though I know they both can hear me.

I keep my head down until he flicks me on top of the head. "Ow, fucker," I snarl when I jerk my head up.

He's goading me on purpose, I know he is, and yes, I deserve it, but the dude has fingers made of cement. I swear he does.

"More … or less?"

I sigh and sit up, slouching against the booth on my side of the table. "That covers just about everything."

None of us say anything for a few minutes and I look around the diner. The usual non-crowd is here; just a few tables are occupied. Sue, our normal waitress, comes by the table and drops off refills of all our drinks and with a look to make sure we don't need anything else, she leaves us alone again.

"Ed, man, I don't know whether to give you a high-five or kick your sorry ass. You know this whole thing is totally … I want to say fucked-up but it's not that, it's just … I've never … just damn." He finally huffs and presses his lips closed together.

We've been here almost two hours, and I'm actually pretty surprised he's run out of things to say. He had plenty when we started, most of it wasn't too nice to be honest, but I took it because I knew it was wrong to have kept him in the dark for so long. Jasper has always let me work things out in my own time and go to him when I'm ready. Em not so much … but that's only because he lives his life in the moment, and jumps well before he thinks.

He always has.

"Uh … what are you going to do when your mom and dad come home? They'll be here in only a couple of days, right? There's no way you can keep up your peeping activities until we leave for camp," Emmett states bluntly.

I sigh. It's not a topic that I'm particularly fond of thinking about.

I glance out the window and fidget with the napkin, tearing pieces off and rolling them between my fingers. "I don't know. I know I can't not see Bella, so I guess maybe I'll try to go when Dad's working nights. That should be a few times a week," I trail off, hating the thought already.

"Edward," Emmett says softly, or softly for him.

I raise both of my hands and shake my head. "I know, all right? I fucking know. Something's gotta give, but I have to give Bella time. You guys have no idea what she's going through. None. I know none of this makes any God damned sense, but it is what it is. I like to watch her. She likes me to watch. We talk, we just do it by pen and paper instead of over the phone or on the computer."

"Or face to face," Jasper interjects with a pointed look.

My shoulders sag because as much as I want to argue with him, I can't. "Or face to face," I agree reluctantly.
I turn and stare out the window, not seeing anything, but unable to look at them any longer. "She knows me, in a way no one else does, and I know things about her she's never told anyone else. There's something between us, and I know it doesn't make any sense to you two, but it does to me. I also know that had we met under different circumstances, this, whatever it is," I say with a wave of my hand, "wouldn't be the same. I don't know how I know, I just do. Do I want her to know what I look like? Sure I do. Do I want to be able to be closer to her than fifty feet? Of course. Do I want to introduce her to you guys and to Alice and Rose and hang out and go to the beach and to the movies? Hell yes, but she can't do that. Not right now, maybe not for a long time."

I take a deep breath and then turn back toward them, thinking about her letter at home … the one I still have to reply to. Last night when I dropped off my notebook with my letter inside thanking her for my, as Emmett verbosely just described, fuckawesome cookies, and picked up hers, I honestly had never been so scared in my life. Watching her play last night couldn't even ease the huge knot that made it hard to breathe. Every few seconds I'd glance down at the notebook in my hand, the one that has answers and replies back to all the things I'd asked and I had a hard fucking time deciding if I just wanted to hurry home so I could read, or put off knowing as long as possible.

I opted for waiting, because, well, Bella's fucking hot when she plays and I like watching.

"I have to be patient, which is frustrating and really fucking hard sometimes, but Bella's worth it. I feel it; I know it. I'm sorry for keeping you two in the dark for so long, I just didn't know what to tell you. I mean, it is nuts and crazy and makes no sense, but it's working … for now at least. I have no idea what's going to happen when Mom and Dad get home, and I really don't know what to do when I leave for camp, but I'll deal with it when it comes. Maybe Bella will let me call her or text her. I don't know, but I do know she needs me and I need to be there for her. I will be there for her." The last word is said in barely more than a whisper.

There's an awkward silence for a few minutes as the weight of what I've just said settles over the table, but when Emmett gets a text, the tension's broken and we all get up.

After we pay the check, we walk outside. I know they both want to say something, but they don't need to. I know it, they know it, so I wave goodbye and get in my car to head home, thinking of Bella the whole way.

I wasn't sure what I wanted to say back to her, but after talking to Emmett and Jasper, words are screaming to get out.

I hurry. I have lots to say.
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~