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Chapter 8 - Two Splash, Four Crash, Two Chinas and a Ride
BPOV
"Crap!" I yell, dropping the knife on the island. It clatters and bounces, flinging bits of vanilla icing everywhere.
Great.
Wonderful.
Just what I need.
As if anything else could go wrong today. I huff and blow out an exasperated breath, then swat at the stubborn piece of hair that keeps falling in my face … just to piss me off. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, counting to ten before I let it out. It doesn't help. I don't have anything to lose, so I do it again. This time, a tiny bit of tension goes away, so I do it once more, clenching then unclenching my fingers in time with my counting. It helps a little more. At least now I don't feel like I'm going to start screaming and throwing a temper tantrum like a little kid at the grocery store that gets told "no" when they ask for a treat.
It sure might help though.
"Bella, what in the world?" Maggie asks as she saunters in from the living room.
I watch her eyes sweep over the tornado that's blown through her kitchen.
"I know. I'll clean it up, promise," I say slowly, shaking my head. At the mess or at my overly dramatic self, I have no idea. Probably a bit of both if I'm honest.
She opens her mouth, then closes it, but not before letting a low "humph" out to let me know I'd better do what I said I would. As if I wouldn't, but I have to say, I've never had a mess quite like this to clean up. It looks like the Abominable Snowman from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer threw up flour in here. There's white … everywhere, mixed with bits of tinted vanilla icing. I think I've used every mixing bowl we have, not to mention if there is even a granule of sugar anywhere to be found, except on the floor or in my hair, I'll let Emmett drive my Escalade.
Or not.
I glance around the kitchen and try to decide where to start first. Do I clean up my mess and try something else, or do I make the best out of what I've done so far? Ugh. Maybe I'll just call Edward and tell him I'm sick or something and I can't make it to dinner. And, well, now there's the queasy, nervous feeling in my stomach that I've been trying to ignore since I woke up at the crack of dawn this morning … after only being asleep a few hours in the first place.
"Bella?" Maggie questions, her voice concerned as she lays her hand on my hand to still the incessant drumming of my fingers.
"I was trying to make some cookies to take to Edward's for dessert. He, ah … um … asked if I'd go have dinner with him and his parents tonight so he can introduce me as his girlfriend," I say barely louder than a whisper.
Just saying the words makes my skin break out in goosebumps.
"And you're destroying my kitchen because … ?" she presses.
I didn't really have time to talk to Maggie yesterday … well, I did, I just didn't. It's not that I'm trying to hide anything, but between not falling asleep until nearly six A.M. and waking up shortly after noon when Edward sent a text, and then spending time with Mom, the day sort of got away from me. Top that off with lots of hours in my head daydreaming about the amazing time Edward and I spent together and talking to him while he was at Jasper's with Alice, Rose, and Emmett, it was a busy day and night. I crawled into bed, exhausted, but couldn't sleep because I was worrying about today's dinner, so I tossed and turned until the wee hours of the morning. I didn't even have the energy to go outside and play, even though it's probably what I needed more than anything.
Except for Edward.
There's nothing I need more than him.
Not counting my mom waking up, because well, if I had that, everything would be perfect.
Maggie scoots around me and bumps me with her hip so she can get to the mess on the island.
"Mag, no! I'll do it, once I figure out what the heck I'm going to do for dessert." I try to reach over her and grab the mixing bowls, but she's having none of it.
"Sit and start talking. If you can't manage to make your cookies without burning …" she stops and does a quick once-over before she looks at me, "three batches, then you obviously have too much on your mind to be using the oven. Now, why are you so nervous about meeting Edward's parents? You've already met Dr. Cullen, more than once, and that went fine."
She moves around, not looking at me and obviously giving me time to get my thoughts in order. Of course I don't really need the time, so off I go, talking so fast I trip over my words. "Mags, what if they hate me? Edward and his parents are really close; you should see how he acts when he talks about them. His mom sounds like a cross between Carol Brady and the mom from The Incredibles. The way Edward goes on about her, I wouldn't be surprised if she were a superhero. And Dr. Cullen, gah, what if he gets mad because I didn't tell him I knew Edward when he first visited my mom? If they find out how Edward and I met, they're going to think I'm crazy, and then ground him for … like the rest of the year. And then Edward's soccer - what if they tell him he shouldn't have a girlfriend right now when he's got all this other stuff going on, Regional Team matches and getting ready for the season to start here? They're going to know that it was my fault Edward almost didn't make it to be held over."
I hop off the stool I am sitting on and pace, waving my arms around like I'm trying to take flight. "He's had this amazing life, with all these good friends he's known forever, and they don't know me from Adam. When they find out I'm his girlfriend, they're going to tell him he's better off without getting involved with me. I just know it. What if they don't like me?"
I flop back down on the stool, and throw my arms across the now clean island. My head lands in the crook of my elbow and I close my eyes, waiting for Maggie to tell me that everything will be just fine.
I wait some more.
Just when I can't take it any longer and I'm ready to scream at her to start talking to me, Maggie laughs. And laughs … until there are tears streaming down her very red face.
"Isabella Marie Swan," she says, hiccuping as she tries to catch her breath, "if that is not the most convoluted, borderline insane string of nonsense I have ever heard in my life, I don't know what is."
Ummm … come again?
I stand up and glare at her, ready to march right into my bedroom and bury myself beneath the blankets. I don't even make it a step before Maggie's voice rings out.
"Oh, don't go giving me that look, missy, and sit yourself right back down." She points and gives me a look that lets me know I best listen. "Now, what on God's green Earth would ever make you think that Dr. and Mrs. Cullen would act anything like you've just described?"
"Well, I don't know," I whine, knowing I must sound utterly pathetic.
I'm a mess, is what I am. I have been ever since Edward kissed me goodbye as the sun was beginning to rise yesterday morning. Why oh why did I agree to this? Oh, I know, because my boyfriend happens to be able to turn me into a dazzled jumble of tingles and breathless sighs when he looks at me in that perfect way he has: head tilted just a bit to the right, left side of his mouth lifted into that sexy, sinful smirk, bright green eyes that tell me almost as much as his words do - then add to it, his voice when he says "please" … yeah, like there's a snowball's chance in hell I'd say no to anything he asks me.
"I want them to like me, Mag. Edward's really important to me, and their opinion means a lot to him. I'm just scared they won't think I'm good enough for him," I say quietly. Admitting it makes me feel a little better, but my stomach is still churning away.
Maggie sighs and walks around the island so she can sit beside me.
"Bella," she begins and takes my hand in hers. "Let me ask you a question, and think about this before you answer, okay?" When I nod, she says, "What would your mom do if the situations were somehow reversed? Do you think she'd be so shallow as to listen to a bunch of gossip, or do you think she'd keep an open mind and wait to meet the boy that was so important to you that you wanted to bring him home to dinner so he could be introduced as your boyfriend?"
Of course I know the answer and I have to smile, though it's a sad one. There's nothing I want more than to be able to introduce Edward to my mom and watch her face light up and get that mischievous sparkle in her eye as she asks him off-the-wall questions just to see what he'll do. She'd laugh when he'd blush at some of the more innuendo-laced ones, and then kiss his cheeks and tell him as long as he made me happy, all was good because it was the only thing that mattered. He'd grin and lay on the charm he's so capable of wielding, and that would be all she wrote.
"She'd love him just because I do," I whisper, my heart hurting, but at the same time the thought of knowing how true it is makes the the pain lessen just a little.
"Exactly," Maggie agrees as she clasps one of my hands in hers. She pushes a strand of hair behind my ear and then lays her hand along my cheek. I can feel warm tears beneath my eyes and she wipes them off with the tip of her finger. "Bella, be happy. It's all your mom would want for you. Phil, too. This whole week you should've seen yourself when you came home from school, listened to the tone of your voice when you sat with your mom and told her about your day. You've been lighter than air and you shine from the inside out whenever you talk about Edward and your new friends."
I start to cry a little harder, wishing with all I am that Mom was able to see and hear what Maggie does. I want it more than anything, would give up anything, besides Edward, to be able to make it happen.
"I want her back, Maggie. I want her to see how amazing Edward is and see how happy he makes me. Why can't she just wake up and be with me?" I sob and then collapse against her when she wraps her arms around me and pulls me close.
I cry for a while until some of the pain goes away. It never will, but there are times it feels like it will completely take over and bury me alive.
"Honey, if I could give you what you want, I'd do it in a heartbeat. All we can do is hope and pray for a miracle. But in the meantime, you have to keep living. For the past year, you've shut yourself away from the world and lived and breathed nothing but spending every moment with your mom. It's time to step out on your own a bit, and if Edward can keep that beautiful smile on your face, then he's pretty close to perfect in my book … even if he possesses stalkerish tendencies."
We both chuckle at that. I know she still doesn't quite understand how Edward and I managed to go from watcher and watchee to boyfriend and girlfriend. I'm not sure anyone can really get it besides the two of us, but truthfully, as long as the two of us do, that's all that matters.
"Better?" she asks after she lets me process and compartmentalize for a few minutes.
She's so amazing that way, knowing when to push and when to wait, ready to offer a hug and a pat on the back when I need it. I suppose what Edward's told me time and again is really true - you really can learn a lot about a person by simply watching and observing. Sometimes I wonder what it is about me that makes me such an open book to the two of them, but most of the time, I'm just glad I mean enough for them to pay attention.
"How about we get some cookies in the oven and then you can go sit with your mom for a little bit before you need to get ready to go to dinner?" she asks as she stands up.
We spend the next thirty minutes mixing, rolling, and pressing, talking the whole time about everything but dinner and my mom. I tell her all about watching Edward play soccer on Friday, how sweet Rose, Angela, and Alice are, how funny Emmett is, and how nice Jasper's been. I tell her about my classes and which ones have teachers that I like. I tell her about some of the other kids, the ones I've met but haven't gotten to know well yet. I don't mention the looks and the nasty comments I've heard a few people make in the cafeteria or when I walk down the hall at school with Edward, and I damn sure don't tell her what Heidi said on Friday. In the long run, things like that don't really matter. It hurts, sure, but catty comments from shallow girls do nothing but make me appreciate how genuine Rose and the rest really are.
"It seems like you've found yourself a really great group of kids to hang out with, sweetie," Maggie says as she turns to look at me.
"Well, I didn't really find them, Mags, seeing as how they belonged to Edward already, but they've all been really nice."
With one last swipe across the island, I dust off the crumbs and shake them into the sink. The delicious smell of sugar cookies fills the air and I feel about a hundred times better. I'm still nervous as can be about meeting Edward's parents, but I don't feel like I'm going to turn into a stuttering, sniveling mess at dinner at least.
I can feel Maggie staring at me so I turn around, surprised when I see a serious look on her face. "Bella, they may have been Edward's friends first, but I've heard you giggle on the phone at night with Rose and Angela. I've listened as you and Edward have talked about them. They're your friends, too, and not just because you're Edward's girlfriend, but because they like you … for you. Don't sell yourself short. You're a brilliant, sweet, pretty girl with or without Edward. Try to remember that, okay?"
Touched beyond words, all I can do is nod.
Then as usual, Maggie knows exactly what I need. "Go, talk to your mom. You can frost the cookies when they cool."
I rush forward and give her a big hug, hanging on to her much longer than normal. Kissing her cheek, I whisper, "Love you, Mag. Thank you for being so wonderful."
She pats me on the back, and I can feel her try to catch her breath because I've managed to catch her completely off-guard with my hug … but mostly with my words. As I leave the kitchen, I hear her say, "I love you, too."
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