The Greatest Gift Outtake~ Seth's Story (Fandom Against Domestic Violence)
by: les16
Ireland - 1846
"Seth Patrick McNamara!" Fiona McNamara hollered at her son as he pushed his sister, Claire, on the swing outside their home.
"Sorry, Claire, duty calls," Seth told his younger sister and ruffled her hair.
Fiona and Sean McNamara lived in a tiny stone and mud cabin on a plot of land owned by a wealthy Protestant family. The McNamara's were luckier than most in that they had a small stone fireplace inside their home, which was most welcome during the difficult, harsh winters Ireland had. They were also lucky in that their landowners were, for the most part, fair people. As long as Sean and Seth worked the land and harvested the potatoes, they were usually left alone. It was much more than many others were granted and they felt extremely fortunate to have a home with a bit of heat.
Seth turned and waved at his sister, feeling a tug at his heart. She was so beautiful, even at fourteen-years-old. Seth knew it wouldn't be long now until she was married and starting her own family, as was the custom among their people. Seth wished things were going to be different for her, but with the future looking as bleak as it did, he didn't have much hope.
"Sorry, Ma," Seth said apologetically as he stood in front of her.
Claire McNamara was the spitting image of her mother. Both had long, wavy red hair, a smattering of freckles across their noses, and eyes as green as the fields of Ireland.
"Ah, 'tis okay, my boy. Now, run along and go help your father. Supper will be ready soon and there is still much to do before it gets dark," Fiona told her son after giving him a kiss on the cheek. While Seth needed to go help Sean in the fields, she felt sad at having to stop him from paying attention to Claire. Their bond was so strong and during these trying times, their spending time together seemed to be the only respite from the endless desperation that seemed to permeate the air around them.
The potato famine had begun the year before, but thankfully so far their area of Ireland had been spared. Things were still very difficult and there wasn't much food, but there was enough. Sean and Seth were knowledgeable farmers and had thus far been able to keep the crops going. How much longer they would be able to do so remained to be seen, but Fiona prayed every day that somehow their luck would hold out.
Even though the times were trying and full of the unknown, the McNamara house was full of love and peace. Sean and Fiona felt especially blessed to have two such wonderful children. Claire did all the washing and took care of the animals while Fiona did the cleaning and the tending to their own garden. Seth was any parent's dream...hardworking, obedient, and loyal. Like parents throughout all of time, both Fiona and Sean wished for a better life for both their children. Claire seemed perfectly content to stay in their small village, marry, and have a family of her own. Seth, on the other hand, had stars in his eyes.
He could read and write; something most other young men his age couldn't do. Fiona had been taught to read and write by a wealthy estate owner's wife many years ago. It was practically unheard of in that day and age, but Fiona was extremely grateful and made sure she taught each of her children how to do both. If their family could somehow endure the trying times, Fiona hoped that Seth would leave for Dublin where the opportunities for smart, hardworking young men were plentiful.
Seth turned back one last time, and waved to both his sister and mother before he went to go find his father. He loved his family, he really did, but he didn't want to be a farmer. He wanted an adventure, he wanted to explore the world...he wanted to leave their small village and see what else was out there. Of course, leaving home meant leaving his parents and sister, more than likely never to return. He wanted to take one Kathleen Madigan and go away.
Seth's heart stuttered when he thought of the beautiful girl he had feelings for. So far they hadn't had much opportunity to spend any considerable amount of time together. Walks through the fields and escorting her home after Mass on Sundays had been all they could manage, but Seth wished it were more.
Kathleen was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, even more beautiful than his mother and sister, and he thought they looked like the Greek goddesses his mother had read to him about. She had long dark hair, so dark it was almost black. Her eyes were dark brown, but had flecks of gold in them, a fact he'd noticed when they'd shared their first kiss not long ago. He felt like he could stare into her eyes for days on end, but his favorite thing about her was...her voice. They had spent a few treasured, stolen afternoons, when his father had to go into town to take care of business, sitting beneath a tree, while she read to him. Her voice sounded like what he imagined an angel's would sound like. He went to bed every night dreaming of her, and her voice was always the last thing he heard before he went to sleep.
As he walked toward the field to meet his father, he couldn't help but remember the last afternoon they'd spent together, the one where they'd shared their first kiss.
Flashback~
"Seth?" Kathleen asked as she laid the book down on the ground beside her.
"Yes?" he answered sleepily. Between her voice, her fingers in his hair, and the warm sun, he was as relaxed as he could ever remember being.
Kathleen smiled down at him, staring into his very blue eyes. He was so handsome. He made her heart beat faster and made her stomach have a funny, fluttery feeling. She wasn't supposed to be with him without a chaperone, she knew that, but the temptation to spend an afternoon with him by herself was just too much to resist. Her father had gone into town to meet with the other farmers and her mother was helping a neighbor, so she had sneaked away so she could be with him.
"Do you think we'll ever be able to leave this place? To go to Dublin or England and start a life together?" she asked him.
She wanted it. Lord help her, she wanted it. She would miss her Ma and her Da, but there was a whole world out there and she knew Seth wanted to go explore it. She wanted to go with him because the thought of him leaving her made her sadder than she could put into words. Seth was so good, so big and strong, and he deserved a better life than what they had here in their tiny village.
Seth sat up from his place on her lap and put an arm around her and held her close. It was the first time they'd been so intimate, but he couldn't help it. Kathleen knew she shouldn't act in such a way, it wasn't proper, but at the time she didn't care.
"Ah, Kathleen. We will, I promise. We'll leave and I'll find a job. We'll get married and buy a house and all of this will just seem like a distant memory," he assured her.
His voice sounded so strong, so confident, that Kathleen couldn't help but melt against him in relief. That he wanted to take her with him, was the first thing she told herself...followed very closely by the fact that he'd just said they'd get married one day.
Seth sat in a stunned silence for a moment once he'd registered what he just said. Not that he didn't mean it, because he surely did, but he knew it was way too soon to be talking about things like running away together...and getting married. He wanted it, so very badly, but he knew that he couldn't leave his family with the way things were right now. It was a wonderful dream...but for right now that was all it could be.
He felt her scoot closer to him beneath his arm and his stomach tied itself in nervous knots. He turned just so and laid a hand along her cheek. He'd never felt for anyone the way he felt for her and he was afraid of losing her. "Can I kiss you?" he asked as he stared into her gold-flecked, deep brown eyes and when he heard her tiny gasp of surprise followed by a blush on her cheeks, he was afraid he'd made a mistake. It wasn't until he saw her little pink tongue dart out and slide along her bottom lip and she'd nodded her head, that he smiled and said a quick prayer of thanks.
Seth leaned forward and bent his head down and slowly lowered his lips to hers. They both stared, wide-eyed as their lips touched for the first time. Her lips were so soft...was the first thought that flooded his mind, followed immediately by the thought that they tasted sweet as well, like the wild blackberries that grew in the fields. Their mouths molded against the other and he brushed his against hers a few times, trying so very hard to resist the urge to swipe his tongue across them. He could feel her heart beat wildly against his chest and he was positive she could hear his thumping as well...it sounded so loud in his own ears.
When they finally had to break away, each panting heavily to regain their breath, they each smiled at one another. They were falling in love...if they hadn't already...and it was sweet and innocent...and the only bright spot in an otherwise very bleak existence.
"That was," Kathleen breathed out as she placed her hand over her still rapidly beating heart.
"The most amazing kiss ever," Seth finished with a wide, very satisfied smile.
I kissed her, Seth chanted to himself in his head. And I hope we do that again soon!
"Oh, Seth," Kathleen said softly as she stared at the man that could easily steal her heart.
"I promise you, Kathleen, we'll find a way to be together," he vowed before he scooted back and wrapped an arm around her. They sat for hours underneath the tree, each lost in their own thoughts...each praying that somehow, someway, things would get better and their dreams could come true.
End of Flashback~
Though the time they lived in was fraught with death and despair, somehow it seemed better whenever they were together. Seth was unsure of what would happen and in all honesty the prospects looked incredibly dismal, but it didn't keep him from praying every night that somehow, someway they'd be able to escape together and begin a new life.
"Seth, my boy," Sean called to his son as he approached. Seth put all thoughts of distant lands, brighter futures, and a girl with long, dark hair and eyes in the back of his mind and focused on the task at hand.
"Hello, Da. I'm sorry I'm late, I was with Claire," Seth said immediately when he reached his father.
Sean chuckled at his son's apology. How could he begrudge the boy from spending time with his sister? Even more than Fiona, Sean wished that things were different for his son. He knew how unfair it was to expect him to stay and help the family, but there wasn't any choice. Their landowner's were fair people to be sure, but if the crops weren't tended to they would all pay the price. Sean heard the stories of the death and despair that spread throughout the countryside and he frantically prayed every night that his family would be spared.
"'Tis okay, Seth. Your sister needs you, too," Sean answered his son and then handed him the spade so they could till the dirt.
It was late March and it was time to plant the potatoes that would sustain them through the long, cold winter months...but of course that meant making it through the end of summer first. The potatoes weren't harvested until late September and with the famine spreading the way it was, Sean could only hope and pray that the blight that plagued the neighboring villages didn't spread to theirs. The planting went as scheduled and Sean and Seth kept careful watch over their landowner's crop. Each day Sean worriedly and obsessively checked the plants, praying fervently that the black spots that meant the crop would fail wouldn't appear.
Unfortunately, Sean's worries came to fruition and their crop was destroyed, leaving them with next to little or no food for the four of them. Sean and Seth tried to fish, tried to do whatever they could to provide enough food for them to eat, but it was sporadic at best. Fiona and Claire resorted to begging for food, but since there were so many people going hungry...there just wasn't enough food to go around.
Everyday it seemed like more and more people were suffering and it wasn't unusual to see entire families laying dead on the side of the road where they'd tried to beg for food. The workhouses spread throughout the countryside were full to capacity, but there wasn't enough work nor enough food to go around. People were dying at an alarming rate and a day didn't go by that word didn't spread of some neighbor or friend that had passed away...including Kathleen and her family. Seth knew things were bad for her and her family, but he couldn't do anything to help her. It was all he could do to try to watch over his own family. It was unbearably cruel to think about her suffering, as he knew she was, but he was completely at a loss to do anything for her. She died and he never even got to say goodbye.
Seth was too heartbroken, too angry to do anything with that news except not think about her. All of his hopes and dreams died with the girl with the long dark hair and the voice of an angel.
One night, as Seth lay on his tiny pallet on the floor, he heard his Da and Ma whispering in anguished voices.
"Sean, I'm so scared," he heard his mother say softly and he could tell she was crying.
"My love, I know. I'm afraid, too, but there just isn't anything we can do. We just have to hope and pray that if we don't survive that Seth can somehow find a way to keep Claire safe and alive until this terrible time has passed. He loves her so much, he'll do whatever he has to, to protect her," Sean tried to assure his wife.
Sean knew he and Fiona would die, there just didn't seem to be any hope that they wouldn't. All he wanted was for Seth and Claire to survive, to be able to live long, happy lives. It was unfair, he knew, to expect Seth to do so much, but he didn't have a choice. Once he was gone, all his precious daughter would have was her big brother.
"At least they will have each other when we die," Fiona said softly, acknowledging that she understood as well their chances of survival were minimal at best. "I hope they don't forget us," she whispered again.
Seth wanted to yell and scream as he listened to his parents resign themselves to their fate, but he didn't...couldn't. He vowed to himself as he laid there in their small house that he would do whatever it took to keep Claire safe and he would ensure that she survived...no matter what.
As fall turned to winter...Sean and Fiona McNamara both died of hunger leaving Seth to take care of an ailing Claire. Why Seth was spared he didn't know; he supposed it was so he could take care of his little sister. He would go days and days without eating, giving Claire whatever little food he'd managed to scrounge up. He spent most nights holding a constant vigil over her shriveling body, praying for some miracle to help them make it through.
Watching his parents slowly die was torture and Seth was positive he'd never survive watching his adored sister go through the same thing. Night after night, day after day he constantly kept watch over her. He found himself in a never-ending state of despair, not knowing what to do. His father, as he lay dying, barely conscious, begged him to watch over Claire, to protect her and Seth promised he would.
Somehow, Seth was sure through the grace of God, they managed to hang on until things got a bit better. He was able to find work building the stone roads that started to appear throughout the rural parts of Ireland. It was hard, back-breaking work, and he'd work ten to twelve hours a day for mere pennies, barely enough to buy some cornmeal, but it was better than nothing. He hated leaving Claire alone, day after day, but he had no choice. He didn't know how else to take care of her and it was all he could do.
As the famine slowly began to recede, what Seth feared would happen, finally did. Their landowners, having decided that growing potatoes was just too risky, decided to plant fields of wheat and ordered Seth and Claire to leave. Having no choice, they left, forced to live in a workhouse. They were separated...as was the rule, and days would go by before they could see one another. Sundays were the only day they were allowed to see each other until one Sunday, Claire didn't come. Nor the next or the next.
Once he was informed that Claire died, having contracted typhus, Seth became a different person.
Gone was the young man with visions of a better life...one he would share with Kathleen and their children. In his place was a bitter, broken, and angry man who spent every day cursing the God that had taken his family and his new love. He found work in Dublin, working long hours for pennies a day. Food was still scarce and he barely made enough to keep himself somewhat fed. Angry and alone, Seth slowly succumbed to the vices that surrounded him and the other men. Gambling, fighting, ladies of the night...all things that Seth never envisioned would be a part of his everyday life.
Unbeknownst to him, Gideon and his mentor, Samuel, were watching from their world far away. The angels had been watching Seth for quite some time now, and his plunge into despair was agonizing to watch. As angels it was always so difficult to watch the pain and suffering of humans, even ones that were destined to join their world one day as Seth was.
"Samuel, how much longer must we wait before we help him? He's losing faith, losing himself," Gideon cried helplessly. Gideon had been chosen to watch over Seth and it was hard for Samuel to watch Gideon struggle with the waiting they had to endure.
Samuel floated next to Gideon and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "My friend, you know we cannot interfere. We have to wait. Don't lose faith, Gideon. He will need you to guide him. It will be up to you to help him find his way back from the dark he has fallen into."
"What if I can't bring him back? What if he won't listen?" Gideon questioned nervously.
"Then that is his choice. You know how this works, Gideon. Seth's sacrifices to try to save his family have warranted him a chance to become one of us...but it will be his choice and his choice alone," Samuel reminded his young protégé.
"He's so good but he's so lost and so alone now," Gideon said sadly as they watched Seth drunkenly walk through the alley back to the workhouse.
"You'll know when the time is right, believe me. I know it seems unfair my friend, but it is the way it must be," the elder angel said patiently.
It was so hard to watch the pain and suffering of humans, especially ones as inherently good as Seth was. Losing his parents and then to have Claire taken so unexpectedly from him had practically destroyed him, but he was still trying to find his way back. Samuel was sure of it. Seth had so many opportunities to turn his back on his true self and hadn't yet. Samuel believed there was still good buried inside of Seth, hidden beneath the layers of hurt and bitterness he wore like armor.
"You have to have faith, Gideon," Samuel told him again and then let him be.
Gideon knew that, but it was so hard and so painful to watch...and wait.
However, Gideon didn't have to wait long.
A few short weeks later, after Seth gambled and drank another night away, he found himself in the same alleyway as before...only this time he wasn't alone. This time there was a young girl, who looked barely older than his sister Claire had been, and she was about to be attacked by two men who were in the same drunken state as Seth found himself in. Hearing her muffled cries for help coupled with the fact that she reminded him of Claire, sobered Seth up in a hurry. Without a moment's thought or consideration for his own safety, he stepped in immediately to help the poor girl.
"You really shouldn't have done that," one man slurred menacingly as the other still held onto the terrified girl.
"Yeah, well, you shouldn't be attacking defenseless girls either you piece of shite," Seth spat out, mindful of the knife that gleamed in the dim lamplight.
The two men stared at each other, each waiting to make a move when Seth noticed a movement off to his right. The other man had his arm wrapped tightly around the frightened girl, her eyes as big as saucers. Her clothes were torn and her face was tear-stained and Seth knew that he was her only hope of making it out alive. When he saw the flash of light that bounced off the knife, Seth should have been very afraid...but he wasn't.
Seth welcomed death actually. He was so tired of being angry and bitter all the time. He was tired of having no hope, of not knowing what his purpose in life was. Of living everyday knowing he'd failed as a son and brother because he hadn't been able to save his family. He was tired of wondering what his life with Kathleen would have been like.
He was tired of being alone.
If he were to die, at least he'd be with them again. He wouldn't be alone anymore. However, one look into the faces of his attackers, and Seth knew if he wasn't able to stop them, they'd keep on attacking other girls, and he couldn't live with himself if he allowed that to happen. No matter how little he thought of his own life, no one deserved to die at the hands of the two vile men that stood before him.
"End him, Connor," the man that held onto the girl hissed. "Kill him so we can have our fun with her and then kill her, too."
Right about that time a few things seemed to happen simultaneously, and far above, Gideon knew it was time.
The young girl, in her desperate attempt to get free of the man that held onto her, bit his hand. He howled out in pain, throwing her hard to the ground. He pulled a knife out of his pocket, deciding to just go ahead and kill her since she'd been more trouble than she was worth, and besides he could always find another.
Seth saw the knife and threw himself at the man, knocking him into the wall. The young girl scurried along the ground until she was able to stand and watched, horrified as the man hit his head against the brick wall with a muffled thump.
"You bastard!" the other man shouted as he watched his brother fall to the ground in a lifeless heap.
Hearing the scream of the girl, Seth made the mistake of looking at her instead of at the other man. "Run!" Seth shouted at her as he felt the knife enter his side. Before he fell to the ground, he saw her exit the alleyway and heard her call for help. Before long, a group of men had surrounded the man that stabbed him and Seth felt hands at his side.
"He's not going to make it," one voice said.
"He saved that poor girl," came the voice of another. "She looked barely older than thirteen."
"Girl...someone...make sure..." Seth managed to stutter out as he felt himself get weaker and weaker by the moment.
"Shh, son. Someone will take her to Father O'Brien. She's safe now thanks to you. Those two men have been terrorizing young girls for weeks now," a kind voice told him. "You're a hero."
Seth shook his head, the pain he felt at his side erupting into a fiery burst. "Couldn't let...anyone else...die...tried to save..." he said painfully as his breathing became labored and he closed his eyes.
"Hang on, boy!" a voice shouted. It sounded like it was from far away, even though Seth was aware that the person was right next to him.
"Seth, it's time for you to go," said another voice though this one was much different than any voice he'd ever heard before.
"I'm so tired," Seth heard himself say, though he knew he didn't say it out loud.
Gideon smiled at the young man. "Seth, it's okay. We've been waiting for you. You can come with me, become one of us. You can let go of all the anger and guilt you've carried around with you."
"No. I don't deserve it. I have failed my parents, my sister, Kathleen. I couldn't save any of them. I tried, but I failed. It's my fault they died," Seth cried out in anguish. He knew what the voice was, where he was being asked to go, but he resisted...no matter how strong the pull was.
"Seth, no. You did everything you could for your mother and father...going hungry yourself so that they could eat. You worked your fingers to the bone trying to ensure that Claire got enough food. You tried to make sure Kathleen and her family had food, even though there wasn't any to be found. You sacrificed yourself so that young girl had a chance at life. You're good, Seth. Come with me," Gideon told him again.
Seth felt like he was floating on a cloud, surrounded by warmth and he noticed...peace.
"Why me?" Seth asked.
"Because you can help others like you. Help others who have lost their way. Come with me, Seth," Gideon told him one more.
Seth wanted so badly to just...sleep, never to wake, but then he thought of his sister, Kathleen, his mom and dad. "If I come with you, I'll be like you? I'll be helping others?"
"Yes."
Feeling himself floating farther, feeling the anger and the bitterness within fall away, Seth said, "I'll come with you."
Dublin - 1986~
"Molly, are you all right?" Edward asked the girl who'd just been pushed to the ground. He reached a long arm out to help her up, blushing when she smiled at him.
The young girl brushed off her jeans and glared at the backs of the cowardly duo of Rory and Shane. "Yes, I'm fine."
Edward bent down on one knee and began picking up the books and papers that had spread out all over the yard in front of their school. He handed everything back to the girl and blew out a nervous breath. Molly Gallagher was the prettiest girl in the eighth grade...at least Edward thought so...and now here he was, talking to her.
"Thank you, Edward," the pretty girl told him.
Most people steered clear of Edward, mostly because he always had his nose buried in a book. She stared at him as they both stood awkwardly on the sidewalk, each shifting from foot to foot. There was something about him that seemed so sad, but at the age of thirteen, she had no idea how to put it into words. He kept to himself, only spoke when the teachers asked him a question, and she never saw him at the park or anything like that where she and her classmates hung out after school and on the weekends.
She and her friends talked about him all the time, trying to figure out what was going on with him. She had only told her very best friend, Caitlin, that she had a huge crush on him. He was so cute, she thought. He was tall, and though his muscles hadn't filled out much yet, you could tell they'd be there someday. His eyes were the prettiest green she'd ever seen and when he smiled, though it wasn't often he did so, she felt like her tummy had bubbles in it.
Edward stared at Molly, trying to think of something to say. His hands were sweating and he wiped them on his legs. His t-shirt felt like it was sticking to his chest and he would swear that Molly could hear his heart it was beating so loudly. He swallowed convulsively, wanting so badly to ask her to sit with him at lunch.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Edward finally managed to squeak out.
Molly blew the piece of her curly red hair out of her face and growled adorably when she thought about the two iijit's that knocked her down. "Darn fools," she said. "Nothing's hurt except me pride."
"You should tell Principal O'Bannon what they did. I'll go with you if you want me to. You could have gotten really hurt," Edward said as he glared in the direction of the two boys that had so carelessly pushed her.
She couldn't help but squeak at the way he sounded so upset for her. She stared at him, feeling her heart beat faster. She licked her lips and she had the strangest urge to reach out and touch him...so she did. Molly lifted her hand and laid it on his arm, and then felt tingly all over. "Edward, it's okay," she managed to say.
Edward stared at the tiny hand on his arm. His arm felt like it was on fire beneath her fingertips. His stomach clenched and his breathing got faster. "Molly, will you eat lunch with me today?" he said so fast he was sure she didn't understand what he'd said. He held his breath while he waited for her answer.
Molly couldn't believe her luck. If she didn't want to hit Rory and Shane over the head for being such jerks, she might consider kissing them because without them, she might never have had the chance to talk to Edward. And now he asked her to sit with him at lunch! She couldn't wait to tell Caitlin!
She nodded her head quickly up and down, too afraid to open her mouth because she just knew she'd say something to embarrass herself. There was no way she was taking that chance!
"Really?"
She took a deep breath and said quietly, "Yes, Edward. I'd love to eat lunch with you."
"Okay, good. Cool. I'll...um...wait for you...outside of the cafeteria," he told her, feeling like the luckiest guy in the whole school.
The bell rang, signaling that school was about to start and they walked inside. Molly waved at Edward as she was surrounded by her friends, who all stood with their mouths wide open when he waved back.
Edward was barely able to concentrate during class and thankfully he wasn't called on to answer any questions out loud. He rubbed his arm where Molly had touched him, kept imagining the way she'd smiled at him. He tried to tell himself over and over that she would show up and it wasn't until he stood outside of the cafeteria and saw her walk toward him that he let out the breath he'd been holding.
He had brought his lunch, like he did everyday. His parents never thought to give him money to buy pizza or chicken nuggets from the cafeteria like all the other kids and suddenly he felt like an idiot because he couldn't even offer to buy Molly her lunch.
Molly saw him anxiously look around the cafeteria and then clutch the brown lunch bag in his hand. "Edward, I brought my lunch today, too," she sweetly told him, and Edward was thankful that that crisis had been diverted.
He blew out a relieved breath and then motioned toward a table near the back of the cafeteria. He was well aware of everyone staring at them and he could hear people whisper as they passed each table but Molly just smiled at him. He pulled her chair out, like he'd seen other people do on television and in the movies. Apparently he'd done something right because Molly giggled at him and then pushed her hair behind her ear.
They sat in an awkward silence while they each took out their food. Again Edward was embarrassed because he'd been forced to bring peanut butter and jelly...again. He was in the eighth grade, you'd think his mother would realize he wasn't a baby anymore and at least get him ham or bologna, but no...he was still eating peanut butter and jelly every day like he was still a little kid.
"Peanut butter and jelly is my favorite," Molly said quietly when she noticed the frown on his face.
"My mom still seems to think I'm a baby or else doesn't care about what I want to eat...but if I wanna eat, this is what I have to make," Edward said and flinched when he realized how bitter he sounded.
Molly took a bite of her sandwich and then a drink of her Capri Sun and asked very hesitantly, "You have to make your own lunch?" When she saw the frown on his face and the deep 'v' in between his eyebrows she felt awful, but there was so much she wanted to ask him and she had asked the first thing that popped in her head.
Edward shifted uncomfortably in his chair, trying to decide what to say. "I'm sorry, Edward. I shouldn't have asked that," Molly said in a sad voice.
He ran a hand through his hair and then pinched the bridge of his nose and hung his head for a moment before he picked it up again and looked at the beautiful girl next to him. He shrugged his shoulders at her in a kind of nervous gesture. "Molly...ah...my um mom and dad...well they kinda...yeah, I make my own lunch. I've been doing it as for as long as I can remember. I...um...had to learn when I was really little...to make my own lunches and stuff."
Molly's heart hurt when she listened to him talk. Her mom and dad took care of everything for her, even if sometimes they drove her nuts. She couldn't imagine what other stuff Edward was talking about.
"Well, just look at it this way," she said with a smile. She wanted him to feel better, she hated seeing him so sad. "When you grow up you might be a famous chef or something with all the practicing you get to do." It was the only thing she could think of to say and when he smiled, she felt better.
The rest of their lunch they spent with their heads bent close together as they talked about anything and everything they could think of...except for Edward's parents. His instinct to avoid that topic was already well-ingrained by the time he was thirteen.
When the bell rang signaling that lunch was over, they cleaned up their places at the table and threw their trash out. As they exited the cafeteria, Edward reached out and grabbed Molly's hand, barely registering that they were holding hands. "Will you eat lunch with me again tomorrow?" Edward asked in a rushed breath.
Molly smiled hugely and nodded her head, immediately wondering if they were boyfriend and girlfriend. She hoped so, she really, really hoped so. "I'd love to," she squeaked out as her friends giggled as they watched from across the hall.
"'Kay. I'll um, I guess I'll talk to you later then," Edward managed to say. His tongue all of a sudden felt like it was three sizes too big for his mouth but thank goodness he was able to sound somewhat normal. Without thinking he leaned in and pecked her cheek in what was probably the world's quickest kiss...not that either of them cared.
"Bye, Edward," Molly said really fast and then hurried to catch up to Caitlin and the others. She gave him a small wave and went in the direction of her math class. She kept turning around to see if he was watching her, and he was, because he'd yet to move from the spot he'd taken root.
Turning the opposite way, Edward walked, dazed, to his science class. He found himself in his seat without remembering walking down the hall and into the room.
"Edward Connolly, please see me after class," Mr. Murphy announced before he began his lecture.
Edward couldn't even worry about what Mr. Murphy had to talk to him about, all he could think about was Molly and the fact that he'd kissed her. He hoped he got to try that again...and hopefully not on the cheek either. He couldn't believe that she wanted to sit with him again. He also couldn't believe that she seemed as excited about it as he was. And he really couldn't believe he'd talked about his parents to her, but it was so nice for a change to do exactly that.
Class ended and Edward waited at Mr. Murphy's desk.
"Edward, my boy, tis nothing bad," the nice old man said and then sat down at his desk. "I wanted to tell you that your science project has been chosen as the winner of the Einstein Science Award. They'll be giving you your plaque and certificate in a special ceremony at the end of the month." Mr. Murphy then picked up a stack of papers and handed them to Edward. "Take these home and show your parents. It has all the information you need about the award as well as the ceremony with time and date and all that. Congratulations, son, it's a very prestigious award, but you deserve it. Now, run along so you're not late for your next class. If you or your parents have any questions, just let me know, okay?"
Edward nodded, too stunned to speak and then hurried onto his next class. The rest of the day passed in a haze and Edward kept a constant watch on the clock. He couldn't wait to go home and tell his mother what had happened today...first Molly and then the award...it was the best day in his whole life.
The final bell finally rang and he shoved all his books in his backpack and raced out of the building.
"Mom!" he hollered as he flung the door open. His mind was a jumbled mess and he couldn't even decide which to tell her first.
He threw his things down beside the door and kicked off his shoes and yelled again, "Mom!"
No one answered and Edward felt his heart hurt just a little that no one was home to share his news with. Finally, he heard a sound coming from his parents' bedroom upstairs so he ran as fast as he could up them, skidding to a stop in front of their door. He knocked since the door was closed and waited until he heard a faint 'come in' before he opened the door.
Maggie Connolly was frantically walking around her bedroom, trying to hurry and get dressed for the evening. Liam wanted to take her out to eat with some colleagues from work and she wanted to look her very best. She looked up when she saw Edward walk into her room, a smile as big as she'd ever seen plastered across his face. She felt her heart tug when she stared at him. Besides having her eyes, he was the spitting image of his father.
"Mom, you'll never believe what happened to me today!" Edward excitedly said as he bounced up and down on his feet.
"What's that, dear?" she said absentmindedly, half-listening as she tried to decide which pair of earrings to wear.
Edward decided to start with the award, saving Molly for last. "And, Mr. Murphy said there was an award ceremony and everything," he said as he took a deep breath. "And, then...Mom, you'll never believe it. Molly Gallagher sat with me at lunch. Rory and Shane knocked her over and I helped her up and then we got to talking and I asked her to sit with me and she said yes. Tomorrow she's going to sit with me again!"
"Nice, Edward. That's all real nice," she told him as she leaned in her closet to grab her jacket.
Edward's face fell and his stomach hurt when he realized she hadn't listened to a word he'd said. It had been that way for as long as he could remember. Whenever she was doing something for his dad or talking about his dad or thinking about his dad...she didn't pay attention to anything else. Why he thought this time would be different, he didn't know, but he stupidly thought that just for once, she'd pay attention to him.
Like a punch to the gut he realized that no matter what he did or what happened to him, nothing would ever be as important to her as his dad was. He was smart enough to know and had seen enough of his classmate's parents that their behavior wasn't normal. Ignoring everything around you...including taking care of your own child wasn't right, he knew that. He'd known it for a long time but the fact that she couldn't even give him five minutes of her time destroyed whatever spark of hope there had been left that somehow things might change.
"Oh no, I'm going to be late!" Maggie exclaimed once she'd put her coat on. "Don't stay up too late, Edward," she said as she hurried out of the room, not even bothering to make sure he had something to eat, say goodbye...or tell him that she loved him.
Edward trudged downstairs, grabbed his backpack, and got started on his homework in the silent house. He fixed himself a simple dinner of macaroni and cheese and a glass of milk, took his shower, and climbed into bed once he'd brushed his teeth. As he lay in bed, he couldn't help but wonder why he wasn't enough for his mom and dad, why he didn't matter at all. Why they didn't love him or why no matter what he did, they barely seemed to realize he existed.
It wasn't the first time he'd had such thoughts, and it wouldn't be the last.
His last thought before he finally fell asleep was that if his own parents didn't care about him, there was no reason for anyone else to either...and that included Molly. He decided right then and there that it was better to be alone than to try to be close to someone, only to have them find out what his parents must have known already...that he didn't deserve to be loved or cared about.
Edward did just that. The next day at school, he avoided Molly all day, and when she waited outside the cafeteria to meet him for lunch, he was sitting in the corner of the library...alone, where he ate from then on.
"Gideon, we have to help him!" Seth cried out as they watched Edward.
Seth's heart broke for the boy he'd been watching for some time now. Day after day more of his spirit broke until today, when it was completely shattered. He could already begin to see the bitterness and the anger building inside of him...and it reminded him of what he felt when he was human.
"Seth, you know we've been watching him for awhile," Gideon answered as he looked from his most favorite pupil to the poor, broken boy far down below. "My friend, you know this isn't going to be easy...and you're liable to have to watch without making your presence known for quite some time," the older angel reminded his overzealous protégé.
"I know." Seth sighed, wishing it weren't so, but knowing it was the way things had to be.
For now.
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
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