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Chapter 10
Isabella stared at her husband, torn completely in two. Part of her wanted nothing more than for them to keep going, wanted nothing more than to be ravished by her incredibly, if she wasn't mistaken, turned on husband. She knew she wasn't, judging from his deep breaths and the bulge in his pants. The other part wanted to sit, curled up on the couch with him and feel his arms around her.
Fortunately for Edward, or maybe unfortunately depending on how you looked at it, the part that wanted to spend the evening just being with him won out. Isabella took a few deep breaths to calm herself before she smiled sweetly at him. Nodding her head at his question about dinner, she answered, "Yes, we are still having pizza for dinner."
He gave her a lopsided grin, letting her know that he was as conflicted as she was before he said, "Good. Do I have time to change before dinner?"
Isabella took one last look at her husband and couldn't help but grin at him when she again noticed the color of the shirt he'd worn to the office today, and briefly wondered if he realized it was her favorite color. If he did, he was certainly earning himself a few brownie points. Based on how her body was still tingling and more than a tad bit achy, too, she had every intention of giving him a special reward later.
She didn't mean double chocolate chip cookies, either.
"Yes, I'll just put the pizzas in the oven. By the time you get done changing, they should be ready," Isabella answered him and then made a move to walk back toward the island.
Edward reached a hand out and gently gripped her wrist to pull her back to him. "I hope you haven't forgotten what I asked and you agreed to, Isabella. You will stay with me tonight, won't you?" he asked in a voice heavily laden with anxiety and need while he skimmed the tender skin of her neck with his nose.
Isabella tried to not moan out loud at the tone of his voice; it was low, deep, and raspy, but she couldn't help it...especially as her body reacted to being pressed against his the way she was. Her body completely molded against him, and she could feel his hard, muscular chest beneath her fingers. She turned her head to face her husband and then crashed her lips against his and kissed him...really kissed him. Her tongue tangled with his while her fingers slid in his hair. The relief she felt that her Edward had come home, and not the one she was afraid would be in his place, coupled with her need to reconnect with him, sent her emotions into a tailspin.
Her fingers twisted in his hair and her mouth continued its relentless assault on his until they were both gasping for breath.
"Damn it, Isabella, you are making it extremely difficult to resist you," Edward groaned. He was trying very hard to keep his silent promise to himself to give her better than attacking her in the kitchen.
"Edward," Isabella said with a sigh, fighting the same urge. It was extremely difficult, she was finding, to keep focused on what the evening was supposed to be about when her body was screaming to feel him, every part of him, against her.
Preferably naked.
Edward took one last, long look at his delectable wife in his arms and then gently pushed her away from him. He reached down and held her fingers lightly in his hand and gave her a sexy grin. "I do have a few things I need to talk to you about, so how about we eat and spend some time on the couch and then...well, we can see what happens after that?"
He watched as she questioned him with her eyes and chuckled before pressing a quick, tender kiss to her forehead. "It's nothing bad, Isabella. There are a few developments at the firm I'd like to discuss with you."
"Edward, are you...what is...fine," she finally managed to stammer out. She had so many questions for him, but decided to trust her instincts and follow his lead.
"I'll be back down shortly, Beautiful," he told her and gave her one last look before he turned to go change.
Edward walked slowly up the stairs, trying mightily to keep from turning around and just saying fuck it and make love to his wife. It was obvious they both wanted it, but the words of the ever-annoying angel kept playing like a broken record in his lust-addled mind. Balance...must find a balance. Well, it pretty much went without saying how much that word really sucked, even if he knew it was the right thing to do. Edward huffed in aggravation.
Walking into his room, he found the angel smirking at him from his usual place in the corner. "You okay, Eddie?"
Edward grunted in the being's direction, but chose not to take the bait and instead threw his tie and jacket on his bed. Their bed, he hoped. At least it would be their bed for another night, Edward thought with a smile. Of course his body reacted when he imagined how Isabella would feel against him as they slept...or didn't sleep if he was being honest in what he wanted.
He sat down on the bed and held his head in his hands for a few moments while he tried to get some sort of control on his conflicting emotions.
"Is this normal?" he asked after taking one more calming breath. Edward turned to find the angel regarding him with a look that could only be described as a cross between incredulity and amusement.
"Yes, Edward. Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal. I know it's hard to not give in to the overwhelming desire you are feeling, but you must learn to express your love and adoration of your lovely wife in ways that aren't solely sexual in nature. Intimacy comes in many forms, you know. And, you must admit, even though you've been a spectacularly neglectful husband for most of your marriage, enjoying the time spent in your marital bed has never been one of your problems."
Edward could only snort at the truth of that statement. He may have been paralyzed at the thought of opening himself up to Isabella, but he tried, every single time they made love, to show her through his actions, how he felt about her.
"Edward, I am quite well aware of the role models... or lack thereof ...when it comes to having a happy, healthy sexual relationship...or any relationship for that matter, you've been exposed to; Carlisle and Esme notwithstanding of course," Seth amended. "The opposite is true for Isabella. Her parents are passionately in love with one another, as were her Nonna and grandfather. You are both learning here, Edward Anthony, taking things one step at a time. You just need to trust yourself," he finished gently.
Lack of role models indeed, Edward thought bitterly to himself. His parents had taught him nothing but selfishness, pain, and abandonment. By the time he was adopted by Carlisle and Esme, he did everything he could to not be around his adoptive parents, it was just too painful. As he got older, he spent more and more time with his grandfather and less time at home, where the love that existed was just too much for him to handle.
Edward's childhood was not a happy one, not in the least. There were bits of happiness here and there, but for the most part, it was one that was spent achingly alone and ignored. He had a father that saw him only as a means to an end. He wasn't particularly wanted by his father, the only reason he was even here was because his mother had wanted a baby. She quickly realized the attention and effort he took, and the sacrifice she was unwilling to make in regards to losing time with her husband.
Liam Connoly was a charismatic man and as soon as Maggie laid her eyes on him, she was completely under his spell. He became the center of her universe, as exemplified by the fact that she turned her back on her family and everything she knew, to go with him back to Ireland when she was just seventeen-years-old. To say she suffered a culture shock when she arrived in Ireland would be an understatement, but she loved Liam too much to complain. She thought having a baby would make things better for her, give her something to do during the day when Liam was at work, so after they had gotten married, she got pregnant.
Things were better for Maggie for a time, and Liam even seemed excited by the prospect of having a child, once he found out the baby was going to be a boy that is. By the time Edward reached age five, Liam had grown weary of Maggie's attention to the boy and began demanding that she pay closer attention to his needs instead. Faced with the thought of losing the love of her life, Maggie did as he asked. Maggie obviously thought having a baby would fix things when in reality all it did was take her attention away from her husband, from the most important person in her life, so Edward became a very distant second in terms of time and attention…and motherly love and care, as well.
From that time on, Edward was little more than an afterthought to each of his parents. They were so consumed with each other that he was often left to fend for himself for most everything. Getting himself to and from school, making his own lunch, fixing his own dinner...all of his basic needs, he had to tend to himself. Edward became an expert at making simple meals of peanut butter and jelly as well as eggs and toast. He made sure he brushed his teeth before bed, he got up and got dressed without being told, he made sure he had his school books…all on his own and all things normal, loving parents should have helped him with. He realized quickly if he wanted or needed anything, it would be up to him to take care of it…his parents were too focused on each other to be bothered.
Edward had learned early on that no matter what he did or how well he did in school or how hard he tried, he didn't matter enough to his parents. They barely acknowledged his existence. Sure there were times his mother went out of her way to do something nice for him or spend time with him, but those times were very few and far between. She was just too focused on making his father happy to be much of a mother to him. By the time he was adopted by Carlisle and Esme, Edward had vowed that he would never feel unworthy again. In order to do so, he figured it was best to keep to himself and not get too close to anyone. In his mind, if he kept his distance and didn't get too close to anyone, they couldn't hurt him the way his parents had. Years of neglect and abandonment, and for the most part indifference by his parents, had so destroyed him, Edward didn't know how a normal family functioned.
Purposely changing the subject, the angel asked, "Are you going to mention Emmett's proposal to Isabella?" He tried to make it sound like an offhand remark, but he didn't think Edward would fall for it and like he figured, Edward narrowed his eyes at the abrupt change in topic. The angel was up to something, he knew, but Edward didn't know what it was.
Like Edward mentioned back at his office what seemed like ages ago, but was in all reality just a few short hours, he'd learned it was best not to question what the angel did too much. It went against his nature, certainly, but it made dealing with all this dying business much easier to deal with. So, instead of calling the heavenly being out, he chose to answer the question. "Yes, I will. I do still have a business to run."
Seth waited for his charge to change his clothes, and when he was finished, he casually remarked, "Tonight, while you and Isabella are spending some much needed quality time together on the couch, I want you to tell her about something from your childhood."
"What? Why?" Edward sputtered, trying to make sense of what Seth just told him. "No, I can't. No," Edward continued to mutter over and over again.
Seth waited patiently for Edward's panic attack to run its course and when he was confident it had, he spoke. "Yes, Edward. I must remind you that there is no time to waste when it comes to these matters. And like today with Emmett and Jasper, I can assure you it won't be as bad or as hard as you believe it will be. Edward Anthony," the angel said in a voice that thundered, but was at the same time as gentle as a soft breeze. He waited until Edward turned his turbulent green eyes toward him and once he did, he said, "I know how painful your memories are of your mother and father, but you know as well as I, that there are some good memories buried beneath the bad. Tell her one of those if it is easier for you, but you must begin talking to her, opening up to her. I can't begin to tell you how imperative it is that you do what I am asking."
Edward wanted to yell and argue and stomp his feet like a small child throwing a temper tantrum, but he knew that what the angel told him was what he needed to do. Surprisingly, once he stopped fighting the idea of sharing pieces of his past with his wife, he realized there was a part of him, a rather large part to be honest, that wanted her to know. It wouldn't be easy and the idea still filled him with dread, but he was becoming rather tired focusing so much time and energy on keeping Isabella at an arm's length.
He realized, with an abrupt start, that he wanted her to know him...the real him...all of him. Faults and all, and as had been brought to his attention on more than a few occasions, he was well aware that the list was extensive. He was under no illusions, though, because he knew it wouldn't be easy. Opening yourself up...trusting in someone to still love you after leaving yourself vulnerable was not anything he had experience in doing. For twenty years he'd kept himself hidden behind walls so thick it was a testament to how determined his wife had been that she was able to even see a glimpse of who he really was.
Seth watched and waited, silently very pleased since he could tell Edward seemed to be coming to some sort of realization. Having witnessed everything Edward had gone through with his birth parents, he knew full well how hard what he was asking Edward to do really was. It might seem foolish to be so frightened to open up to one's partner, but after the trauma Edward had suffered and lived through, it was understandable. To him at least, and he knew Isabella would understand as well.
Edward rubbed his hands nervously against his thighs and then faced the angel once more. "Okay," he said simply.
"Okay, you'll talk to her?" Seth asked, needing to make sure Edward would follow his instructions. It really was important that he begin to move forward. There was still so very much to do.
"Yes, I will. I have no idea what I'll tell her, but I will do as you ask," Edward answered before moving to the door. "Sometime soon, we need to have a talk about all this need to know business, you know. I have a lot of questions," he warned the bossy being in a stern voice.
Things were still so...surreal. In only twenty-four hours everything he knew and understood was turned around and nothing was the same. His relationships with his wife and his family, the way he conducted his business, the way he interacted with his friends and colleagues...all of it was different now.
It was a hell of a lot for one man to take in.
Said bossy being, though he would never refer to himself in such a way, gave his charge an inscrutable grin and let his ice blue eyes twinkle. He was actually very happy to see some fire in Edward, some resistance. It meant that he was beginning to think of others instead of just himself. It meant that he was making a few inroads. It meant that Edward was trying.
"Fair enough, my young friend. I expected you would anyway. However, I'm sure you'd rather be downstairs engaged in much more enjoyable activities with your much more enjoyable wife, so let's save that discussion for later." Seth smirked.
"Hmph, well you are right about the more enjoyable part, that is for damn sure, but I mean it. There are things I need to know," Edward reinforced again.
The seraph figured he'd pushed Edward as far as he could for the time being and glided over to where he stood. "Yes, Edward, I suppose it is time to fill you in a few more things."
Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers and had to work exceptionally hard to keep from losing his temper. It was one thing after the other it seemed like, but he knew he'd made quite the mess out of his life. It was only fair he had to work so hard to get it in order.
He could only hope that he was successful before his time was up.
"Try not to worry, Eddie, my boy, especially since the lovely Isabella is waiting rather impatiently for you downstairs. She's a feisty thing, isn't she?" the angel cheekily said and laughed boisterously at the flash in Edward's eyes. "Oh, knock it off, Edward; your wife is an amazing woman. Not my fault it has taken you much too long to acknowledge it."
"Damn pain in the ass, aggravating, know-it-all angel," Edward muttered once Seth disappeared to...wherever he went.
Isabella heard Edward as he came down the stairs and took a few seconds to breathe in and out before he walked into the kitchen. Her eyes drank him in as he entered the room, especially since he had on a pair of low-slung sleep pants and a tight, black t-shirt. Holy hell the man was so freaking gorgeous, she thought to herself. If she could have gotten away with it, she would have fanned herself because all of a sudden she felt like she was having a hot flash.
Damn sexy man, she chuckled softly as she moved toward the pizza.
"It smells incredible in here, love. I'm starving," Edward said as he approached the island and couldn't help but smile when he noticed his favorite beer next to a frosted glass. The pizza really did smell delicious; garlicky, just the way he liked it, mixed with the unmistakable aroma of tomatoes and pepperoni.
Isabella sliced the pizza and set two pieces on his plate, and one on hers before she looked at him and asked, "Didn't you eat lunch today?"
Edward shook his head and inhaled deeply, his stomach rumbling and his mouth watering at the food Isabella had fixed to perfection. "No, I didn't. I had meetings all day and worked straight through lunch."
She picked up her plate and glass of wine and they both walked toward the living room. Once they were seated on the couch, Isabella looked at Edward and said, "Sweetheart, you really shouldn't go all day without eating. It isn't good for you."
The fact that she worried about him that way warmed Edward and his stomach did that flip-floppy thing he'd come to recognize whenever he thought about his wife. Today, his stomach did a lot of that flip-floppy stuff since it seemed like there was little he did besides think about her.
They ate their dinner and made small talk, much like almost every other married couple. They both recognized that it was something they didn't practice on a regular basis, but it seemed as if the two of them had come to the same conclusion. In order to move forward, it was necessary not to dwell too much on the past. It didn't mean that all was forgotten...or forgiven, Edward was sure of that, but it did make going forward a bit easier to know that he wouldn't constantly be reminded of how much he had failed as a husband. Isabella talked about her lunch with her mother and Edward had to smile at how her face lit up when she talked about her parents and her Nonna.
"Mama asked me to check with you to see when we could go have dinner with her and Dad. She would like to have us over to the house sometime in the next week or two for my birthday," she told him with a huff and a roll of her eyes.
Edward choked a bit on his food at the mention of one, spending time with her family, and two, her birthday.
Hell, first dinner with Emmett, Rose, and the kids and then dinner with the Swan family...he sure had jumped head first into the fire, hadn't he?
He coughed a few times to clear his throat since it suddenly felt like his tongue was three sizes too big for his mouth and then took a drink of his beer before he looked at her. During the day today as he was going over things on his calendar to schedule meetings, he did realize that her birthday was coming up soon. After he had wallowed and berated himself for not treating her birthday the way it should have been in the past, he'd decided on how he wanted to celebrate this year. He wasn't sure how his idea would be received, but once the idea had come to him, he was rather excited...and a bit impressed with himself, too.
It seemed once he allowed the love to flow it was easier to think of things, both grand and small, that he could do to show Isabella just how much he loved her, trusted her, cherished her, wanted to move forward and make up for the years of slighting her.
The birthday part he could handle, he wasn't so sure about dinner with his in-laws. Charlie Swan was an intimidating man, no question about it. Being Chief of Police meant that he had to be, but Edward was honest enough with himself to understand that the reason he felt so unsure when he was around Isabella's father was because he knew he didn't treat Charlie's daughter the way she deserved to be. Edward didn't intentionally set out to hurt his wife, but he had, and he was confident Charlie Swan understood that as well.
If the situations had been reversed, Edward could at least admit he'd want to kick his ass, too...repeatedly.
Through the years Edward had always tried to do and say the correct thing when it came to Isabella's family. He didn't see them often, which was no different than the frequency he spent with his own family. It was just too hard, too painful, and too reminiscent of how unlike them his birth parents had been. Like with everything else since he and Isabella had gotten married, it was easier to hide than to face his past
Well, he might as well inflame the fire even more he thought to himself and said, "Whenever you would like to have dinner with them is fine with me. It would be nice to see them again, it's been awhile since the last time I saw them all."
Isabella gasped quickly at the immediate agreement to spend time with her family, but instead of asking a question she was sure he would answer vaguely, she just smiled and said, "Good. I'll talk with Mama and decide on a day."
The man was surely going to drive her mad as she continued to try to figure out what brought about the sudden change in her husband. There was an aura around him since he'd returned from New York, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. She welcomed the change, no doubt about it, and she wasn't questioning his sincerity either. Isabella had always, from the very first time they met, known...believed...felt, however you could describe it, that there was much more to Edward Cullen than he showed the world. She just didn't know why now and she couldn't decide if it really mattered or not.
If he was finally going to let her in and share himself with her, did it really matter what caused him to change? Wasn't the fact that he was changing and trying the important thing? She didn't have an answer to either of those questions just yet.
They finished up their dinner and as they set their plates on the coffee table, Edward took a deep breath to steel himself so that he could tell Isabella what had been discussed at the meeting today. In the back of his mind he knew this was not something he normally did, but the fact was, she was married to the CEO of the company, not just an employee. There were things she needed and deserved to know.
Edward arranged himself so that his arm draped along the back of the sofa and he twirled a piece of her soft hair around his fingers. It was done without a conscious thought, but when he realized what he was doing, he made no move to stop...he rather enjoyed the intimate action. Isabella's sigh as she settled back against the cushions let him know she enjoyed it as well.
Neither made a move to turn on the movie they had discussed watching, instead it seemed as if each was content to just enjoy being together. It was a strange feeling, Edward thought as he curled even more of her hair around his fingers, to find pleasure in something so simple.
He had so much to learn, he realized, not that he thought he would mind learning...as long as his wife was the one teaching him.
"Is it okay if we talk about CP for a few minutes?" Edward asked. He wanted to talk to her but he was finding it difficult to interrupt their quiet time. However, the words of the unseen, but never far away angel, clouded his mind. He didn't have time to waste.
Isabella was apprehensive about what he was about to say to her, mostly because business discussions were not something they normally had with one another. She did her job as one of the head editors, Edward did his running of the company, and very rarely was there a need to speak to one another beyond surface matters. Was it the right way to do things? Who knew, but Isabella didn't marry Edward because she wanted to run, or help run a large company. He was good at his job, great even, and with Jasper and Emmett by his side, along with Marcus and Alec, he had more than enough people to help if he needed it.
Edward wasn't sure where to begin and figured the reason he was in New York was as good a place to begin as any. "CP has been put into a pretty vulnerable position and one of the major deals I had been working on fell through this weekend. We have one more that I'm fairly certain we'll be able to complete, but if something happens with it, and it falls through like the one in New York did, the company could be in real trouble," he said and watched to make sure she understood before going on.
"We had a meeting this morning and a few ideas were discussed," he said and couldn't help but smile as he remembered his brother shocking the hell out of him earlier. He probably shouldn't have been surprised, but he was. For some reason before he told Isabella Emmett's idea, he wanted to hold her hand. He turned so he faced her more and reached over and took her hand. Her hand looked so tiny in his, he thought briefly and stared at their fingers where they were laced together. The thought that he hadn't done anywhere near enough of this came unbidden to his mind, but he shook that thought away.
Forward, he was going forward.
He squeezed her hand and quickly explained Emmett's idea, going into detail about what they hoped to accomplish. He finished by saying, "Isabella, everyone, including myself, thinks you would be perfect for the job. Jasper was excited, Marcus and Alec think this is a great idea and well, Emmett was quite exuberant in his belief that you would do an amazing job."
Isabella was stunned, bewildered, and speechless. Never in her wildest dreams would she have ever expected something like this. It wasn't that she didn't think she could do it, because she knew she was a damn good editor, probably one of the best in the country. But to know that others thought the same of her, especially Edward, well, it was a lot to take in.
"Love?" Edward asked softly as he watched her eyes dart around the room. He squeezed her hand again and waited for her to look at him.
"You really think I can do this?" she asked him and he couldn't help but smile and lean forward so he could kiss her cheek.
"I do," he answered immediately. "I may have acted like an ass most of the time, but I have always been aware of how talented and smart you are, Isabella. Please don't doubt that or doubt your abilities."
"Wow," she breathed out and had to fight the urge to let out a nervous giggle to relieve some tension. "I have so many questions," she said and turned to look at her husband.
He leaned forward and with the hand that wasn't holding hers, brushed her hair behind her ear. "I'm sure you do. Just think about it for a few days and when Emmett comes for dinner on Thursday you can talk about it more with him. You're going to make him very happy if you decide to do this, love. You should have seen the grin on his face when he talked about it. It's obvious he loves you very much," Edward told her and had to bite his tongue to keep from telling her his brother wasn't the only one.
Isabella smiled when she thought about her much adored brother-in-law. "The feeling is mutual," she said and it did not go unnoticed that her cheeks were flushed and her eyes danced with excitement. Edward was, quite unexpectedly, extremely excited about this new endeavor, if only to watch his wife spread her wings a bit.
After a few more minutes of conversation, Isabella moved to get up so that she could carry their dishes to the sink and get Edward's cookies, but was stopped. She glanced down and chuckled softly since Edward had her hand in a death grip and from the looks of it, he wasn't planning on letting go anytime soon.
"Sweetheart?" she questioned gently.
Edward huffed, suddenly too overcome to speak. He didn't even know what was wrong or what he had wanted to tell her, but when she got up to move, he didn't want to let her go. "I just wanted...I don't...this was nice," he finally managed to say.
Jesus, he felt like a tongue-tied adolescent on a first date!
Isabella smiled warmly at him, thinking exactly the same thing and bent down and laid her soft hand on his face. "It was. Two nights in a row, I think we're going to start a habit if we're not careful," she teased and then pressed her soft lips to his for a kiss.
He had other ideas though. Soft kisses were all fine and dandy and he enjoyed them as much as the next guy, but right now, soft was definitely not on the agenda. Edward lifted his hands and gripped her tiny hips and then pulled her forward. She had no choice but to straddle his lap and when she did, Edward's arms wrapped around her instantly, trapping her body against his.
"I want to spend every night with you," Edward told her. "I've missed so much, wasted so much time," he ground out against her lips as his mind fought his body for control. He wanted to love her, he wanted to consume her, he wanted to be worthy of her. So many conflicting emotions raced through his mind he was sure he'd go mad before too long.
Isabella leaned back and reached her hands up to hold his face so that she could look at him. So many references to time, it was if he was racing against some unseen clock, something only he understood. Something had happened, she was positive, to bring about such a drastic and profound change. She was just unsure of what it was.
"Edward," she said as she stared into his tormented green eyes. "You would tell me if something was wrong with you, wouldn't you?" She didn't want to ask the question, mostly because she didn't want to believe that something could be wrong with him.
His heart stopped and then fell to his stomach at her question. He didn't want to lie to her, especially since he swore to himself and to her that he would be honest from now on. He decided the best course of action was a distraction, so he tried that. "Beautiful, there is nothing wrong with me, well nothing that a good ass kicking wouldn't fix. I can't really explain it except to say that I finally saw the light, so to speak," he said with a sexy smirk and then ran his fingers down the side of her cheek. "I'm tired of hiding from you. I'm tired of keeping you at a distance when all I want to do is keep you close to me."
She stared at him, gauging his words against what she felt and honestly, she couldn't sense anything except sincerity, so with that, she bent forward and kissed his nose. Heavy conversations could wait, it was time for dessert.
"Come," she said with a grin when she climbed off his lap and took his hand in hers and led him to the kitchen. She sat him on a stool at the island and with a mischievous gleam in her eye, reached up into the cabinet where she had stored his special treat. She slid them on a plate and then poured him a glass of cold milk and set both in front of him.
Edward sucked in a deep breath when he noticed what kind of cookies they were. It was more than the fact that Isabella had known how much he liked them. "My mother used to make these for me as a treat sometimes. They'd be ready and waiting for me when I got home from school. They'd still be warm and she always had a glass of cold milk for me to have with them. She'd always tell me I was doubly sweet, that's why she'd make double chocolate chip," he whispered as the memory flooded his mind.
Isabella's hands shook as she held onto her own plate after she'd heard what he'd said. He said something about his mother, she thought to herself. Holy shit! Swallowing past the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat, she sat down next to him and simply said, "Well, I doubt mine are as good as hers were, but I hope you like them. My mom isn't the best baker in the world, but Nonna used to make these amazing pecan shortbread cookies when I was little. We would have to hide some because my dad would eat them all if we let him." She giggled affectionately. "But, I know how much you like your chocolate."
"Thank you," he answered her, and for much more than double chocolate chip cookies. He reached over and held her hand, and held on while they finished their dessert.
During the few minutes it took for them to eat their dessert, Edward's mind was going a mile a minute. Sure not all of the memories he suddenly allowed to come to the surface were good ones, in fact most were not, but he couldn't help but smile as he recalled eating cookies with his mother. It was one of the few things she'd stuck to, no matter what else was going on...and Lord knew there was plenty.
Once they were done, he was overcome with the need to hold his wife, to feel her next to him, to feel her arms around him. The song that was playing on the stereo was soft and soothing so without any hesitation he stood up and pulled her with him.
"Dance with me," he commanded softly.
"But the dishes," she answered, even though her voice sounded unsure.
"Leave them. Dance with me, Isabella," he said again and wrapped her in his arms and began to move to the music. Their bodies were pressed close to the other as they swayed back and forth. "This has been an incredible night," he whispered as he bent his head down and began to kiss up and down the side of her neck. "Thank you for loving me, for having faith in me...for giving me another chance to be a man worthy of you, even when I don't deserve it," he told her as he pulled her even closer to him. His arms squeezed and his hands were splayed on her back so that every part of her was against him.
"Thank you for trying," Isabella answered him, trying to keep the tears that were threatening from leaking out.
They continued to dance, they continued to feel...they continued to connect.
As the song came to a close, Isabella looked up into the black-green eyes of her husband, her Edward, and said, "Take me upstairs, Edward. Make me yours."
He instantly lifted her in his arms and walked up to the bedroom. "You've always been mine, Isabella."
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
The next few days flew by precipitated each night by an invitation to stay with Edward in his room. Isabella hoped that before long the move would be permanent. Now that she had slept beside him every night for the past four nights, she wasn't sure she could ever sleep alone again. When he asked, his voice was timid and unsure as if he expected her to say no. Although, she had to admit there was a small part of her that enjoyed the fact that he asked, that he didn't just merely assume she would say yes. It was a sad statement about the state of her marriage, true, but in her way of thinking, it also showed Edward's willingness to make an effort and that he was trying to change.
Each day was filled with flirty texts and phone calls, flowers delivered to her at the office, and yesterday they even went to lunch together...leaving the office at the same time and in the same car. Normal, everyday occurrences for most people, but jaw-dropping, eye-popping ones when it came to Edward and Isabella Cullen judging from the reactions of people in the office. Poor Alec, Isabella giggled to herself as she thought about him, the man looked like he had swallowed a bug when he saw them step off the elevator...holding hands no less. She supposed the fact that Edward had been laughing at the time might have had something to do with it. Lord knew the man certainly didn't do that often enough.
The time they had spent together over the past few days, in and out of bed, had been nothing short of incredible. Edward had continued to keep mentioning tiny bits of information about his mother. Not a lot and nothing past what her favorite color had been or that she enjoyed doing crossword puzzles and had had an unhealthy obsession with the Beatles, but it was more than he'd ever done in the past. There were still no mentions of his father and nothing about what had happened to them or to him before he was adopted, but it was still a step. Baby step though it was, it was an improvement.
Her phone rang as she walked into the house. She set her bags down and grabbed her phone, a goofy, dreamy smile on her face. "Hi, Sweetheart," she said sweetly as she answered.
On the other end of the phone, Edward had the same smile on his face and he pointedly ignored the loud chuckle of the ever-present angel who was hovering close by.
"Hi, Beautiful. Did you get everything you needed for dinner tonight?" he asked as he leaned back in his chair.
He had really been looking forward to the dinner this evening, but he was nervous as hell about it, too. He and Isabella had been in their own bubble for the past few days, the lunch out together yesterday notwithstanding. It was different having people, even though they were family, observe him in his own environment. Emmett had made enough comments at the office about the changes he'd noticed, he had no doubt his incredibly shrewd sister-in-law would notice as well.
Rosalie Hale Cullen let nothing get past her, especially where her family was concerned. Edward might have been an absent member of the family, but he knew enough to know that was nothing but the truth. His sister-in-law was as fierce and protective as a mama bear protecting her cubs, and if she felt Edward was being less than honest with Emmett or any of the others, she would let him have it.
Edward unconsciously shivered when he thought about what that experience would be like.
"I did. Rose called earlier to say that Jack and Emma weren't coming. Emma was being fussy and Jack isn't feeling good so they got a babysitter for the evening," she told him and he could hear the disappointment in her voice. Edward had to admit he had been looking forward to seeing his niece and nephew as well.
"Well, we'll just have to have them over for dinner again when they are both in better spirits," he told her.
They chatted for a few minutes and then ended the call so that Edward could finish up and get home. It was becoming easier and easier to leave the office at the end of the day, of course knowing his beautiful wife was waiting at home for him was more than enough incentive.
"This is a big night for you, Edward Anthony," Seth informed him once Edward had hung up the phone.
Edward had already come to that conclusion himself, but hearing it from the angel just solidified that fact. "I know. I'm not sure what to expect," he answered truthfully.
Edward had already come to that conclusion himself, but hearing it from the angel just solidified that fact. "I know. I'm not sure what to expect," he answered truthfully.
"Well, Emmett loves you, that much is obvious. He's been hoping for you to reach out and now that you have, well I would expect things to go rather smoothly with him. Now, Rosalie, she is another matter altogether," the being said with a wicked smile.
Edward groaned and thought again about his sister-in-law. "I suppose I'll just have to make her see I am sorry for the way I've acted and hope she forgives me," he answered.
Seth had given Edward some much needed space and time over the past few days. Time to reconnect with Isabella, time to come to terms with what it was he had to do, time to think about how to move forward. He watched of course, he was always watching, and he had to admit he was extremely proud of the steps he'd already taken. The hard ones were coming, but hopefully now that he felt more confident and comfortable opening up to Isabella, he would find the strength he needed from her to take the next steps.
"You are correct. All you have control over, Edward, is you. Whether the people you have hurt choose to forgive you is solely up to them. What matters is you coming to terms with your past actions and your efforts to change," the angel affirmed.
"I'm sure you'll be close by to keep tabs on me," Edward said with a grunt as he pulled a pile of files to him so he could get to work.
"I'm always watching," the cheeky being responded and then was gone.
"Damn angel," Edward muttered before focusing on the work in front of him.
A few hours later Peter dropped him off at home and he entered the house, the aroma of lasagna filling his nose. Emmett's favorite, and Edward smiled at the fact she remembered that. It no longer surprised him that she remembered such things, he'd come to the conclusion that nothing escaped his observant and intuitive wife.
"Hi, love," he said as he walked into the kitchen. He looked to his left and noticed that the dining room table had already been elegantly set, complete with candles and a bottle of wine chilling in a bucket of ice.
"Hi, Sweetheart," she greeted him warmly with a smile. Wiping her hands on the towel she walked to him and stood on her tiptoes to give him a quick, but loving kiss. He responded immediately and pulled her closer to deepen the kiss but she snickered and pushed him away, not that she really wanted to, but kissing would have to wait.
"Go change, Edward. Rose and Em will be here any minute," she told him and rolled her eyes when he looked like he was going to pout.
"Fine, I'm going, but we will pick that up later," he promised with a sexy grin before he went to do as his wife asked.
By the time he changed and returned back downstairs Emmett and Rosalie had arrived. As he walked into the kitchen and observed the three interact and smile at one another, he realized, once again, how very much he had missed.
Living life hiding to keep from hurting accomplished nothing, he'd come to understand...well, nothing except for hurting those you loved...and who loved you in return.
"Hey, Ed!" Emmett said loudly once he saw him. "Thanks for having us over."
Edward approached, still feeling slightly nervous but when he looked at Isabella and she smiled at him, it all melted away. He knew she would be by his side, and knowing that, meant he could do anything.
"Well, we're happy you're here. It's been much too long. Hello, Rose," Edward said once he looked at his sister-in-law. She regarded him silently for the moment, studying him and once it appeared she'd come to some sort of conclusion, stepped forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
"Hi, Edward," she said in greeting.
"Everything is ready, so why don't we sit and we can visit while we eat," Isabella stated once the hellos were out of the way.
Edward helped her carry the dishes to the table and the four sat down to eat the mouthwateringly delicious meal his wife had fixed. Once everyone had been served, they began talking, and Edward couldn't stop laughing at the stories Emmett and Rose told him about Jack and Emma. He found himself devouring each story, each funny thing they told them and he didn't miss the pride and contentment that his brother exuded. Emmett was a very happy and very lucky man. It would have been easy to be jealous of both things, but instead, Edward was filled with happiness for his brother.
Every time he would glance at Isabella, he found her smiling sweetly at him and he could feel his walls crumbling each time.
"Baby steps, Edward," she leaned over and told him during a break in the conversation. "I'm so proud of you."
She knew that tonight was just another turning point for them and she was so grateful that Emmett and Rose had accepted the invitation to dinner. She was well aware of Rose's inclination to keep her distance until she was sure of Edward's intentions and she could understand that. She also knew, judging from the huge, dimpled smile of Emmett, that he was just happy to be here, no matter what the reason.
Emmett brought up the subject of the new proposal and answered her many questions. By the time he was finished and she understood what would be expected of her, she was brimming with excitement. She had so many ideas, she wasn't sure where to start.
"We are gonna kick ole Vincent Sinclair's ass, no doubt about it!" Emmett exclaimed with a loud clap. "Poor bastard won't know which way is up when me and Isabella get done with him. Isn't that right, sis?"
She rolled her eyes, but then giggled at his enthusiasm. It was hard to resist him. "Whatever you say, Emmett. I just hope I can do it," she said hesitantly.
"Pshh, you can do it. Don't you think, Ed?" Emmett asked.
Edward reached his arm around her and leaned over and kissed the side of her head. "Isabella can do anything, and this isn't any different. I have all the faith in the world in her," he said softly as he ran his fingers through her hair.
Rose had been paying very close attention to her enigmatic brother-in-law all evening. There was definitely something different about him, no question about it. She knew how much Emmett missed his brother, how much he wished they were closer, which was the only reason she'd agreed to this dinner in the first place. Well, not the only reason. If Edward had truly changed, if he was truly going to make an effort to be a better husband and brother, she would be the first one to acknowledge it. He had talked a good game all night, but it would take a lot more than one dinner for her to believe him.
"So, Edward, why don't you tell us what the hell is really going on with you?" she challenged as she picked up her glass of wine and stared at him with a raised eyebrow.
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
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