DaPK Chapter 12 - The Drag

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Chapter 12 - The Drag

BPOV

His eyes sweep up and down and side to side, taking inventory to make sure there's nothing physically wrong with me. His hands flutter as if he's not sure if it's okay to touch me and I wonder what in the hell he sees that's making him freak out so much. Immediately, I reach for his hands to still them because he's making me feel worse with each passing second. I hate seeing him upset, especially when it's about me.

"Edward, stop," I implore as I hold his hands down beside his legs. "I'm fine."

He shakes his head. "You're not fine. Your eyes are glassy, the tip of your nose is red, and your bottom lip was just between your teeth. You only bite your lip when you're upset or when you're trying to drive me crazy, and since I wasn't here, that leaves upset. Now, what's wrong? Did someone say something? Did you and Rose get in an argument?"

I huff and roll my eyes, a lot stunned that he recognizes so much and a little scared because he does. I don't say anything as I try to decide what to tell him because it's not like there's any one big thing, there's just a bunch of little things.

"And don't even think about telling me nothing or that you're fine; you know I hate that." He pouts a little bit which makes me smile, but I know he's serious.

He really does dislike it when I tell him nothing's wrong and that I'm fine when he can plainly see I'm not.

"Bella, come on, you're killing me here."

"I'm going to tell you; I just don't know what to say or where to start. It's just Rose and I were talking in Auto Shop …" I start and that causes him to grin.

"You were trying to get her to spill about your birthday, weren't you?" He looks much too proud of himself, all smug and smirking with his eyes bright and shiny. It's so annoying even though he's totally right.

Damn him.

"Well, yeah, and she wouldn't tell me anything just so you know, but that's not what it is. It's, I don't know, just all kinds of things." I let go of one of his hands and take a few steps away because suddenly I'm feeling the need for some space, which in and of itself makes me even more upset because I never want or need space from Edward.

"Hey, come here." His voice softens and he tugs on the hand that's still engulfed in his.

I go willingly, not even caring that he's hot and sweaty from soccer practice. It's Friday which means no staying after school, and right now I'm very grateful for that fact, even more so when his arms wrap around me and pull me close.

The parking lot is still full and I hear people all around. Doors slam, shouts of plans for the weekend, horns honk, tires squeal and I burrow my nose into his chest. His gray t-shirt is dark with sweat but he smells so good.

There are a few catcalls and whistles. The moment's pretty much ruined when Edward groans at Alec's dumbass comment about us needing a room. Not that the idea doesn't have merit mind you, but I'd rather not hear Alec mention it. Especially right now.

He leans down and kisses the top of my head before he shifts us so that he can see me.

"Do you have to go home right away?" he asks.

I stifle the immediate instinct to yes, which only serves to tell me how much I don't need to go home and how much I do need to talk to him. Everything Rose and I talked about just an hour before is swirling in my head like a hurricane, churning and gaining strength with each passing second. I need to talk to him. I need him to help me.

I need him.

I can't even talk right now, so I just shake my head.

Tears gather in the corners of my eyes and my nose burns - a sign that my breakdown is only seconds away.

Shit.

"Bella? Fuck," he hisses and pulls me toward him. He kisses the top of my head absently while he has a silent argument with himself.

I step back and lift my hand to lay it on his cheek. "I'm fine, promise. Where did you want to go? Your house?"

He shakes his head. "No."

His eyes bore into mine and my heart skips a beat. Those Jolly Rancher green eyes always see far more than should be possible. "We need some time alone together, just us. No interruptions, no one watching us, only you and me. Will you follow me?"

"Of course," I answer with no hesitation. "I'll always go where you go."

"Bella." He sighs then kisses me quickly on the lips. "You have no idea what you do to me," he whispers.

I smile, breathing easier the instant he slides his fingers between mine and leads me to my car.

He wiggles his fingers, waiting for me to give him my keys, which is really awkward considering I have to dig in my backpack with one hand. I finally manage to pull off some sort of pretzel move with my arms while I balance my backpack on my leg and slap my keys in his palm with a huff.

"You could have helped, you know," I grump and then scowl at him when he chuckles.

"And miss you twisting around so that the vee of your shirt gives me the perfect glimpse of your spectacular boobs. I think not, Drummer Girl." His eyes blaze and change from green apple to the color of the pine trees I can see over his shoulder. I'm mesmerized and I feel my nipples harden as he takes a step forward, trapping me against the side of my car. He leans in and rubs his nose along my cheek and my heart thunders in my chest. He's hard and hot all over and having him this close to me makes it difficult to breathe. His fingers lightly skim the inside of my arms that hang limply on either side of me. I shiver; my skin's covered in a field of goosebumps.

"We're going to talk. You will tell me what's been on your mind the past few days, and close your mouth because of course I noticed." He grins all proud-like and kisses the tip of my nose. He leans in closer, his warm breath fanning the skin behind my ear, and my breath catches in my throat. "Then we're going to climb into the backseat of your car because it's bigger than mine and I need the room." He lowers his voice until it's nothing but grit, rough but at the same time smooth, like satin over gravel and it makes my insides so topsy-turvy I sway. Christ Almighty. "So I can kiss you until you see stars."

My knees threaten to buckle.

My brain's a scrambled mess.

I feel hot all over.

Especially in between my legs.

Oh, my.

Somehow I find myself sitting in the driver's seat and Edward's leaning over me so he can put the key in the ignition. His smell fills the car and I can't help but deeply inhale. I know he hears me because the back of his hand brushes across the front of my shirt, right where my nipples are already hard and sensitive. The Escalade hums to life and I feel the cool draft of the air conditioning, though it really does nothing to cool off the heat that's spread through every part of my body.

I have a feeling I'll be hot all over until I can get home and get into a cold shower … my new favorite place to hang out these days.

"Be careful, okay and stay behind me. We're going a little bit out-of-the-way, but it should only take about fifteen minutes to get there. You're good to drive?" Standing, his eyes hold mine until he's convinced I'm fine.

"See you in a few." One last kiss and he's jogging to his car, not once looking back, but there's no doubt in my mind he knows I'm watching him.

A road fit more for an ATV than an Escalade, a steady stream of curse words that would put Phil's teammates to shame, and a sore neck from bouncing in my seat so much and we arrive at Edward's out-of-the-way destination. I get out of the car, careful to make sure I don't slip and bust my ass, and take in our surroundings. Out-of-the-way? If we were any more out-of-the-way we'd be in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Edward narrows his eyes at me as he approaches, holding his hands out to try to ward off what he knows I'm about to say. "Save it. We need to be alone and this place is perfect. If my car can make it, your beast can. Now, pop the lock on the back and come sit with me, we've got some talking to do."

I really want to be annoyed with him for being such a pain but I can't. I know he's worried. I can tell by the way his eyes bounce around my face as he searches for clues and the way he keeps running one hand in his hair over and over. He doesn't fool me at all with his calm, cool demeanor. I almost wish he could.

He holds his hand out to me and waits while I press the button for the latch on the back doors. Once he gets us situated, and I'm very comfortably and quite securely settled between his legs with his arms wrapped tightly around me, he leans down and presses his lips against my temple. "It's just you, me, and the trees, so talk to me, baby. Please?"

And there is the Edward I know and love with every piece of my heart … and all the rest of me, too.

I trace the outline of his hands as they rest on my stomach with the tip of my finger. "Your fingers are so strong - just perfect," I mutter absently and to my own ears my voice sounds far away and dreamy.

It's not at all what I meant to say, not really what I was even thinking about, but looking down at his hands, seeing them holding me, protecting me, the words are out before I even realize it.

"Strong enough to help you with whatever you need. Tell me, Bella. You know we don't hide things from each other. I've been able to tell all week that something's bothering you. Is it me? Did I do something? I can't fix it or apologize if you don't tell me what I did."

Of course he automatically assumes it's his fault.

My sweet Edward.

I squeeze his hands. "You most definitely don't owe me an apology, you big goof. No one's done anything; it's me. I just have a lot on my mind is all."

"Talk to me, share it with me. Let me help," he whispers.

A soft breeze stirs the trees as I stare at them while I try to put my thoughts in order. I hear a rustle of leaves off to my left, just barely in my line of sight, and I smile at the small squirrel that skitters across the pine straw, its bushy tail twitching as it hops over the ground. It's so peaceful here. There's not a sound save for the occasional snaps and cracks as unseen animals scurry through the forest. The air has just a trace of cool layered between the warm, gentle wind. Edward's arms tighten around me when I shiver as a gust stirs the air and slithers beneath my hair and meets the slightly damp skin on the back of my neck.

I scoot back closer to him and pull his arms tighter around me, not cold in the least, but I need to feel him. All of him, around me, everywhere. I can feel his heartbeat, steady and sure against my back. His breath is even in my ear and his lips find places to kiss every few seconds: my cheek, my neck, the top of my head.

It's heaven and I really could stay here for hours and not mind it for one second.

He waits. I can tell he's anxious for me to begin talking, so I don't put it off any longer. "It's not just one thing, there's lots of stuff. The last few weeks have been kind of crazy, you know. Hell, the past few months."

He chuckles and rests his chin against my head.

"Yeah, but they've been crazy good, right?" His voice is hesitant, like he's unsure.

Silly boy.

"The best," I answer and feel him smile.

"It's been hard, too, sometimes, and I get confused and scared and I worry," I say quietly. I try to keep my voice steady but I know he hears it when it wavers.

"Shhh, I know, baby, but you've done so damn well, and you know I'll always be here," he affirms, his voice sure and strong, completely opposite of mine.

"Maybe not."

Silence. Heavy and suffocating. The air stills but vibrates, crackles, with an intensity that makes my insides take a nose dive then explode in a jumble of nerves.

"I'm going to assume there's a really good fucking reason for what you just said," he rasps and he's not angry, he's hurt.

I'm such a bitch.

"Oh, Edward, no, that's not … ugh … I didn't mean … shit." I can feel hot tears drip down my cheeks. I scramble and twist around until I'm sitting up and facing him. There's a frown on his face and I want to die for putting it there.

"Then, why in the hell would you say something like that? Do you think I'm lying every time I tell you I love you and I'm not going anywhere? That I've just been blowing smoke up your ass all this time? I … I don't understand."

He hangs his head and I'm up on my knees with my arms wrapped around his neck. I kiss him over and over, mournfully apologizing in between silently telling myself I'm due for a hell of an ass kicking later.

"Oh, God, Edward. Of course I know you love me. I love you, too, so, so much!"

"Okay then, talk to me. What's going on that you'd doubt me, even for a second, Bella?" His normally bright eyes are dull and I hate that I've made him question, even for a moment, me … us.

Sitting cross-legged in front of him, I reach for his hands and pull them into my lap before I take a deep breath then tell him about mine and Rose's conversation, not leaving out anything. And I do mean anything. I don't miss the arched eyebrow or the very self-satisfied smirk on his face when I repeat what I told her about him. I blush through that whole part, but Edward is right. We don't hide things from each other. We might take a little time before we share what's on our mind, but there's nothing I don't want him to know, even if some things make me want to fall into a black hole and never come out.

When I get to the part about my mom and what I thought about in the parking lot, he pulls my hands into his lap and squeezes them, and I can tell out of all I've said, this is the hardest for him to hear.

"Can I talk now?" he asks as I take a few deep breaths to calm down once I've finished telling him everything.

A few strands of hair stick to the side of my face, and he gently, so, so gently, brushes them back as he caresses my cheek with the pad of his thumb.

"First, because I can't say it enough, I love you," he begins quietly. I start to say it back but he shakes his head quickly so I close my mouth and wait for him to continue. "Finding you, getting to know you, having you here, with me, is the best thing that's ever happened to me, Bella. Sometimes I can't even believe how lucky I am. You're beautiful and funny, sweet and hot, and make the best cookies in the world, and can play the drums like nobody's business. You're everything to me and you're mine, and every morning I wake up and can't wait to start my day because I know you're going to be a part of it. School still sucks, but there's nowhere else I'd rather be than there, but that's only because that's where you are."

He takes a breath and looks over my shoulder for just a few brief seconds, and then straightens his shoulders as if to brace himself for what might happen next. "Sometimes I feel so selfish though, because I know … I know that having you with me means you're not with your mom, and I know that makes you feel sad and guilty and I hate it. I hate it, Bella. Rose was right when she said all I want is for you to be happy. I do. I'd do anything, give you anything, to always make you happy, but I can't make your mom wake up, no matter how much I wish I could." His voice wavers a bit, and when he sees a tear fall he lifts a hand and rests it on my cheek.

"Bella, I …" he starts but then stops, closes his mouth, then swallows as he hangs his head. His eyes find mine when he raises it back up and I gasp from the intensity I see burning in them. I feel it, everywhere. My whole body vibrates and it's almost too much, the way it seems like he can see every single part of me. When he starts talking again his voice is rough and deeper than normal and the tiny hairs on the back of my neck immediately stand on end. "I know you still have Phil and Maggie and I know your mom is," he pauses a beat then says slowly, "like she is, but you will always have me. I will always be with you, no matter what. When I think about college, we're together. When I try to picture my life five years, ten years down the road, you're there. Any time, any place I dream about, you're always with me. You're all I want and I want you forever."

My eyes fill with tears and my heart, well, it feels like a balloon about ready to burst from being so full.

"I want you, too, forever," I whisper.

He smiles and pulls me forward. I go willingly. I always will. He straightens his legs and I straddle his thighs. His arms wrap around me, and mine go around him and we're as close as we can get, but it doesn't feel close enough. I can feel his heart beating against my chest, strong and steady. I bury my nose in the dip between his shoulder and neck and kiss the warm, slightly salty skin that peeks out from beneath his t-shirt. His fingers comb through my hair and we sit that way, not saying a word, for a few minutes until I feel his chest rumble as he starts to talk again.

"You have to know though, as much as I always want you with me, I understand how important it is for you to spend as much time with your mom as you can." His voice is quiet but even, and his fingers don't stop their tracks through my hair. "I might be selfish sometimes, but I'm not an asshole, Bella. Missing a party at Newton's house or a bonfire on the beach is nothing. Who the hell wants to see Alec make an ass out himself anyway? You don't have to worry about feeling bad because you think you're keeping me from anything, because that's never been my thing, even before you came along, okay? And yes, I'd love to be able to take you out and show you off, but only because you're my girl and I'm the luckiest guy around, but I understand why you can't."

"But I want to," I say softly and press myself closer to him.

"I know you do, baby, and we will, whenever you say it's okay. Please, please stop thinking that you're disappointing me, because you're not. You're so fucking strong, and I know, I know, how hard it is for you. I see it, I feel it, and it hurts to watch you struggle, but I'm so damn proud of you, too, just for trying. I think your mom would be, too. She'd want you to be happy, Bella." He squeezes me and I feel his chest rise as he takes a deep breath. His heart thumps beneath my hand, a little faster, and little harder than before. We sit, saying nothing for a few minutes, as his words firmly and surely embed themselves in my mind.

I know what he's said is true, and even though I'm sure I'll still feel bad from time to time, I'm glad I told him what's been bothering me.

I feel his lips on my cheek when he lowers his head and he kisses his way down closer to my ear. His breath is warm and it makes me hot all over, even while it gives me goosebumps. "Can we go back to the part about you wanting to make out with your boyfriend? I kinda liked that part."

I giggle, feeling a million times better. The heaviness from just a moment ago vanishes just like that, even though I know it won't be long until it comes back again.

My Creeper, he always knows just what to say. No wonder I love him with all my heart.

"Yeah?" I ask, sitting up.

His eyes are sparkling, bright and so green. His lopsided smile makes my tummy flip-flop and I want nothing more than to have his lips on mine.

"Yes. Now, get down here and kiss me, Drummer Girl," he says, his voice like warm gooey chocolate.

He doesn't need to ask twice. I lower my mouth to his and the second our lips meet, everything but him fades away. He opens his mouth and my tongue finds his. Breaths and groans and growls and whimpers, they're the only sounds I hear. His. Mine. Ours. We kiss and kiss and kiss and it makes every part of me want more. Of his hands, his mouth, his fingers, his tongue.

All over me.

Everywhere.

"Edward, gah, I want … " I pant.

I roll my hips and tighten my legs around him. I press my chest harder against his, and both of us hiss when I move just right. God, he feels so good. He's hard beneath me, so hard, and my nipples shoot sparks of want straight to between my legs when they rub against him just so.

I don't know what to do. I want to kiss him. I want him to touch me. My hands twist in his hair and then I let go. They move to his face, his shoulders, his arms, then they flutter about because I don't know where I want to touch him next. I think I'm going crazy.

"What? What do you want? Tell me." He grips my hips and holds me still.

Our eyes meet and I feel so exposed, even though not one piece of clothing is gone. It doesn't matter. I could be completely naked standing in the middle of a field of wildflowers with the sun shining down on me and I don't think he could see me anymore fully than he does right now. He sees everything. Always. It's scary and exhilarating and embarrassing and the best feeling in the world all rolled into one.

I want to hide.

I want him to see.

"What do you want, Bella?" he asks as he kisses the side of my neck. His tongue swirls around the spot behind my ear that makes me wild. When I feel his teeth scrape along the hypersensitive skin, I moan.

"Touch me, please?"

"Oh, baby." He lowers his voice then slowly turns us so that he can lay me down.

It's the first time we've been this way and I can't get enough. Normally we're standing, or sitting, but we've never been in this position where I can feel all of him against all of me.

I don't want him to ever move.

But he does, and it's even better than just a few seconds before. His legs are between mine and when he rocks forward, I see stars … and not because I'm squeezing my eyes closed so tightly all I can see is white. He's hard and he feels so good. So good. It's scary how good he feels. I can't help it. I lift my hips against his and the sound that comes out of his mouth as he moves up and down against me makes my heart fly and my blood feel like fire as it races through my veins.

"Shirt. Off. Let me see you, feel you." His mouth is everywhere: my lips, my neck, my face.

I don't even hesitate before I wiggle out of my shirt. The wiggling isn't helping the situation down below either, or maybe it is. I don't know. All I know is how it feels, better than anything before, even better than when we were together in my building.

The second my shirt's over my head, his mouth is on me again, only this time, now, it's on skin that he's never touched before, at least not with his lips. His hands yes, but oh God, they don't feel as good as his mouth.

"You taste so good," he breathes and where he's licked cools and it makes me shiver. And hot. And want him. So, so much.

His fingers and his mouth travel across my shoulder blades, down my chest, around my bellybutton, leaving trails of heat and tingles behind. I tug on his shirt, wanting - needing - it off.

He chuckles as it bunches up around his neck because I growl.

"What's the matter, baby?" I feel his lips curve into a smile against my stomach.

"I want to feel you, too. Take it off." I huff, and blow out a frustrated breath.

He's killing me and he knows it.

Ass.

I lick my lips when he kneels and pulls it over his head. His muscles ripple and flex and he's so gorgeous. Perfect. Not too bulky but smooth lines and hard planes and a trail of dark hair that dips beneath the waistband of his soccer shorts. Shorts which do nothing to hide what lies beneath. God, I can't wait to feel him, all of him, inside of me, but I know we're not ready. Yet. Not long now though. When I look into his eyes, they darken, and I know he's thinking the same thing.

"I can't wait until I can be with you, all the way," he says as he watches his fingers ghost across my body. He circles my bellybutton with the tip of his index finger, then his tongue wets his bottom lip as it moves up, up until he moves it back and forth across my chest, beneath my breasts. His breathing gets choppy and faster as his finger moves from below to around my nipples, first one then the other.

Thank God I wore one of my nicer bras today. It's not Victoria's Secret or anything, but it's dark purple and lacy and I know it looks good on me. From the way Edward can't take his eyes off his finger as it makes smaller and smaller circles, I'm pretty sure he agrees with me.

"So hot," he breathes, then finally lifts his head to stare at me.

"Can I … will you … take this off, too? So I can see you?"

My hands shake as I reach behind me to undo my bra. It's not easy and I want to be embarrassed because I'm fumbling as he watches me, and I am just a little, but it goes away the second I slide it down my arms and drop it beside me.

I move to cover up, because holy hell, I'm topless and we've never done this before. No one's seen me like this, ever, except for other girls in the locker room at school and even then I dress as fast as I can. He grabs my wrists before I can get that far and he shakes his head.

"Don't. You're so beautiful," he whispers as his eyes burn into mine and I want to cry because I can feel his words. Not just between my legs, but in my heart and soul.

He leans down and kisses me, soft and deep and it's like he's pouring every bit of himself into me. I want it, I take it, because I need him more than I've ever needed anyone or anything in my life.

"I love you so fucking much." His mouth moves from mine to my neck. "Always." Down lower to the hollow of my throat. "Forever." Even lower to the top of my breast. "Don't ever doubt it, Bella." Lower until he flattens his tongue and licks my very hard, achy nipple. "Ever." Again. "You're the only one I'll ever want."

His fingers glide down my stomach and he wordlessly undoes the button on my jeans and pulls the zipper down, his tongue never stopping its delicious torture as it moves from left to right across my chest. His hand slides beneath my panties and his fingers touch me there for the first time.

Startbursts and fireworks and thousands, millions, of pinpoints of sparks everywhere. I blindly reach for him, but he stills my hand with his free one. "No, baby. Let me make you come, just you this time."

"But I want to touch you, too." And I do. God, I do.

He rocks his hips and I gasp when I feel how hard he is. "Bella, the second your hot little hand touches my cock I'll explode, so right now, let me feel you come. Next time, you can touch me all you want."

"Promise?"

He nods just before he sucks a nipple into his mouth and I arch my back, shamelessly trying to get him to suck harder because it feels so good. His fingers circle and slide, and my hips move in time with his. I'm so close. Everything feels tight and hot and I'm gasping, saying his name over and over again. A finger dips then enters me and I open my mouth, but no sound comes out.

"Oh, oh," I cry out, a little in shock but it lasts only a second because as soon as his finger starts moving, I don't ever want him to stop.

"Holy … oh fuck you feel so good. So hot and tight. Jesus, just perfect." He lifts his head to look at me. "Are you okay, is this okay?"

He looks down at his hand and then back up at me, though he doesn't stop what he's doing. I nod. "Yes, God yes. I'm gonna, oh God, I'm gonna come!"

"Fuck yes. Let go and come. Come hard."

His finger moves in and out faster, his thumb presses down in a way that makes my entire body light up and he closes his mouth around my nipple again. Lips and teeth and then his tongue and his finger and his thumb, somehow they all work together, at the same time, and I explode.

I try to keep my eyes open but I can't so I close them and just let myself ride the wave.

It goes and goes and when I can finally feel my toes, I open my eyes and find bright green ones full of love … and quite a bit of pride staring at me.

"That was the hottest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. Jesus, Bella." He bends down and gives me a sweet kiss that is totally opposite of what he's just done to me, but somehow totally perfect … just like him.

"I love you. So much," I say softly and run a hand through his damp hair. I feel tears sting the corners of my eyes, but they're happy ones. Very happy ones.

"Mmmm, love you, too," he quips before he gives me a raspberry on my boob.

"Nice." I giggle. It feels so good to be with him like this, happy and free and totally, completely in love with each other.

The grin on his face when he looks up is enough to melt the panties right off me, if they weren't already halfway off in the first place. "What? I told you, they're spectacular and they're about to be covered up again, I was just saying goodbye."

"God, you're such a guy."

He kisses me soundly on the mouth. "Your guy and don't you ever forget it."

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