DaPK Chapter 13 - Assist

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~

Chapter 13 - Assist

EPOV

"Say hi to Phil for me and I'll call you later to say good night, okay?" I ignore Jasper's snort and flip him off as I start the car.

"Love you, too. Bye." Emmett coughs "pussy-whipped" into his hand and I slam on the brakes, grinning when his head bounces against the headrest. Fucker's lucky the seat belt kept him from kissing the dashboard. On second thought, the dashboard's probably luckier.

I keep my foot firmly pressed on the brake and look from Em to Jasper. "I'll be happy to go to Port Angeles by myself if you two assholes don't shut the fuck up. You're both ten times worse than I am when it comes to Rose and Ali and I've had to listen to you both for a hell of a long time, so what's it going to be?"

Neither of them is brave enough to speak after my outburst, but they do nod. It takes about two minutes, maybe less, before Emmett starts laughing, which causes Jasper to join in, which of course makes it impossible for me not to as well.

"Dude, you totally sounded like my dad just then with your 'so what's it going to be?'" Jasper says once he stops laughing. "He used to say the exact same shit to me and Peter when we were younger."

"Well …" I huff, and still try to sound pissed off, which is stupid, because I wasn't even pissed off in the first place.

"Man, chill. You know we just like giving you shit. Bella's awesome and it's pretty fucking cool to see the two of you so happy with each other. Granted, if you two could stop sticking your tongues down each other's throats every five seconds when we're all together, I'd really appreciate it," Em says, shivering like he just got a chill, but the smirk on his face lets me know he's not nearly as bothered by mine and Bella's PDA as he says he is.

I raise my eyebrow in challenge and he grins back, shameless and proud. Dude knows there's no contest. He and Rose beat everyone, hands down; it's not even close.

In the five minutes it takes to get to the highway, Emmett tries to change the stations at least three times. "My car, my radio - you know the rules," I say, flicking his hand when he tries to change the station for the fourth time.

"You listen to the weirdest shit, I swear, man." Emmett huffs and slouches in his seat.

I roll my eyes. "The Violent Femmes are not weird, they're classic. You just have no taste."

We bullshit for a little while, talking about the soccer team, which girl Alec's trying to get with this week, and the big test we have in Pre-Calc next week. It feels normal. I love hanging out with Bella, but I miss spending time with Emmett and Jasper, too. The closer we get to Port Angeles, the more nervous I get, which is totally ridiculous considering all I'm doing is picking up Bella's birthday present and checking on the arrangements I've made for Saturday night. I can't help it though; I want everything to be perfect. My fingers drum on the steering wheel and I sigh.

"Edward, she's going to love it," Jasper says from the back. He's not looking at me; in fact, he's playing a game on his phone.

God, I fucking hate it when he does that shit.

He must hear the grunt I make because he lifts his head and catches me looking at him in the rear view mirror. And then that damn eyebrow rises. I swear, one night when he's sleeping, I'm going to sneak into his room and shave that fucker off. I hate that thing. I mean, I don't really, but it's so annoying sometimes how Jasper always knows what's going on with me … even when I don't always know myself.

I sag in my seat and run a hand through my hair. "I sure hope so. Bella's not one for presents and she doesn't wear any jewelry besides earrings. I just wanted to give her something special."

"Trust me, she'll flip."

He sounds so certain, and I want to believe him. I mostly do, but with Bella, you can never quite know for sure.

"So, Mama C's making plenty of food, right? I'm dying to pig out on some Esme's cooking. Fuck, my mouth's watering just thinking about it." Emmett groans and I'd be scared of the sounds coming out of his mouth if he weren't sitting right next to me.

"There will be plenty." I chuckle and shake my head. Food and Rose - they're pretty much all Emmett thinks about.

He rubs his hands together and I figure he's thinking about food, but he's not. "I'm glad you're doing something for Bella, Ed. She deserves to have a day just for her. She needs to have fun and act like a teenager every now and then, and she definitely deserves to be spoiled a little bit. Shit, when I think about her being at home, by herself … it makes you stop and think, you know? I don't know how she does it, I really don't. Sometimes it pisses me off and others, it just makes me fucking sad."

I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. His eyes are narrowed and he's frowning. I know how much he cares about Bella and the feeling is mutual. She and Jasper get along great and it's always amusing to watch them tease each other or debate some obscure musical fact or another, but her relationship with Emmett is very different. Maybe it's Em's size or the way he's so protective of everyone around him. I don't know for sure what it is, but it's very plain to see that he has an exceptionally soft spot for my girlfriend. He adores Alice and Angela, but Bella is special. Of course I already know this, but I'm glad she has Emmett … and Rose. It's good for her to have solid friendships and people she can feel comfortable with besides me. No one can ever know her like I do, but she needs her own friends to talk to and vent to when she can't talk to me. I might not like it at times, but I do understand.

"Yeah, me, too," I answer him quietly.

The car is silent except for the music thumping from the speakers. After a few minutes pass we start talking about soccer and our game next weekend. Things worked out perfectly - we have a weekend off, but things will definitely be picking up after right after. Not only do I have club games, but I also have a mandatory Regional Team practice the weekend after that. My Regional Team schedule was in my email last night. I need to talk to Bella about what's coming up. I'm going to be out of town a lot over the next few months and then with high school soccer starting right after Thanksgiving with tryouts and the season starting after Christmas, things are really going to be picking up. I really need to start making some decisions. Coaches from all over the country have started sending me emails; I get a few every week seems like. I've been putting off thinking about everything, but I can't do it for much longer.

Even if part of me wants to pretend like I can stay in Forks forever.

Pushing those thoughts to the side because I really can't think about them now, I spend the rest of the trip just joking around with my two best friends.

"She's really going to love it," Jasper says as he stands next to me in the jewelry store thirty minutes later. I nod and nervously watch the salesgirl wrap Bella's present.

"I fucking hope so. I know you've done this shit before, but this is a big deal for me," I tell him as I bounce on my feet.

My whole body vibrates. I want her to like her present so much. It's nothing really … I mean, it is, but it's not like I got her diamond ring or anything. Not gonna lie, I did look at them, I couldn't help it. There was even a brief flash where I pictured sliding one on Bella's finger at some point in time in the very distant future, but for now I just want to give her something that will remind her of me and how much I love her. She's not much of a jewelry person, but seeing as how I've never given a girl a birthday present before - not counting gift certificates or bath stuff for Rose and Ali - I want Bella to be the first. The only, if I have my way. So, I spent an entire Sunday afternoon two weeks ago picking out what I hope is the perfect present. I hope she doesn't think it's too cheesy. I don't think she will. I had to special order part of it so that's why we're here on a Thursday night picking it up. That and the fact that if I'd gotten it two weeks ago, I probably would have caved and given it to her already. Her surprise Saturday night is one thing, mostly because that's as much for me as for her, but I'm horrible about giving gifts. I hate to wait.

Finally, I have the perfectly wrapped box in a bag and I feel a hundred times better for some reason. I guess maybe because now all that's left is to see Mr. Molina about the arrangements for Saturday night. Rose is the only one I've talked to about my plans for Bella after we're done with dinner at my house. I needed her advice … and her help. It's not that I don't trust anyone else, though Em and Alice both have a hard fucking time keeping secrets, but much like our notebooks and her building, I want Saturday night to be only for her, for us.

"Hey, why don't you go get us a table at the restaurant and order our food. I'll catch up with you guys in a few minutes," I tell Jasper as we leave the jewelry store.

He quirks that damnable eyebrow at me but I hold his gaze. I know he's trying to figure out what I'm doing, but I also know he'll drop it, too. He'll wait for me to tell him. He always does. Emmett opens his mouth to argue but when Jasper tells him they can get potato skins while they're waiting on me, he's off like a shot. "You owe me," Jasper drawls before he jogs to catch up with Emmett.

I take a deep breath and turn toward the music store. A little bell jingles above me when I open the door and Mr. Molina's head pops up from behind the counter.

"Ahhh, Mr. Cullen, I've been expecting you," he greets me.

I smile and I can feel my stomach bouncing around inside of me. I have no idea why. I'm not doing anything but verifying that everything is set, but it's one step closer to Saturday. One more thing I can cross off my mental list of what I need to do to make Bella's day the best ever.

"We're still good to go on Saturday night?" I ask, drumming my fingers on the glass case.

"Sure, sure. Felix will be expecting you about nine o'clock or so and you'll have two hours before he has to move to a different building. That still works for you, yes?"

I nod, my stomach now turning flip-flops instead of just bouncing. It's like a party in there, or a mosh pit.

Jesus.

I try to swallow. My throat's dry and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth, but finally I'm able to force the words out.

"Thank you, sir, so much. You have no idea how much I appreciate this and all your help. I never would've been able to do this without you," I tell him sincerely.

Thank God for Rose. When I told her my idea, she suggested contacting Mr. Molina about what I wanted to do. Once I explained, he remembered me buying the drumsticks for Bella way back at the beginning of summer.

"Not too many people come in and stare at the drumstick display … all five options of them." He'd laughed good-naturedly. "Seems like this young lady is a bit more than a friend now, son," he teased and I felt the tips of my ears burn hot, thanking the stars that he couldn't see me through the phone.

I sort of coughed, choking at the same time, and answered back, "She's much more than a friend, sir. She's everything."

The words. Forever true and as always, so easy to say, even to a virtual stranger.

He chuckles and brings me back to the present. "Well, you should be all set, Edward. Just make sure to find Felix when you're done and that's it."

We shake hands and I turn to walk out the door. He calls to me and I look back over my shoulder, my hand on the door handle and the little bell above my head jingling once again. "Next time you come in, bring the girl, okay? I'd love to meet her."

"You got it, Mr. Molina. I'll see you soon."

Leaving the store and walking to the restaurant, I can't help but imagine Saturday night. I hope it's a night neither of us will forget.

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~

I smile as I set my phone down on my nightstand after sending Bella a text. 12:00 … and a few seconds. It's officially her birthday.

A knock on my door. I'm tired, but sitting in bed, sleep pants and a black wife beater on with Bella's notebook on my lap. I close it, but leave it where it is.

"Come in," I call and smile at Mom when she pokes her head in.

"You busy?"

I yawn and shake my head, which makes her chuckle.

"It's late. I figured you'd crash as soon as you got home from the game." Her eyes dart toward the notebook and then back at me.

"I'm going to bed in a little bit. Too much soda at the diner I guess, so I'm not really all that tired."

She grins and rolls her eyes. "Bet you had some apple pie and ice cream to go with all that soda, didn't you?" I don't even have to answer, she already knows I did. "How did Bella enjoy the game? Did she have fun?"

If I didn't think it'd make me look like a lovesick fool, I'd sigh. Instead, I nod. "Yeah, she really did. It took her about twenty minutes to completely relax, but once she did, she was cheering just as loud as anyone. She even led the cheer for Emmett when he sacked the quarterback."

Mom laughs. "I wish I could have seen that!"

A quick flash and I can still see her standing in the bleachers, clapping and laughing with Rose and Alice, the tip of her nose red, her cheeks flushed and her eyes big and bright and shiny. She was so pretty, so happy, and I'd spent more time watching her than the game … not that I'll tell Emmett. He'd be crushed to know I missed his tackle.

Mom waits a few moments, I think to let me indulge in my thoughts a little longer. "Are you excited about tomorrow?"

This time I do sigh. "I am, nervous, too, a little bit. I hope she likes everything."

"Oh, sweetheart, you know she will. Try not to worry so much. She'll love everything you've planned just because it was you who made it all possible."

"Well … I just wanted to do something nice, special for her, you know? She told me that last year she spent her birthday in the hospital, by herself and that's just … I get it, but I hate it. I hate that she was alone."

I have to swallow a few times because thinking about Bella sitting beside her mom, with no one around, no one to tell her happy birthday, hurts. I know Phil didn't let the day go by without recognizing it, but no one else mentioned it. No family, no friends, no one but Phil. It makes me want to hit something because it's just so wrong.

"She has you now, Edward, and your father and me, and your friends. She's not alone anymore," Mom says quietly and I hang my head and nod.

My hand spreads on top of Bella's notebook and I feel the words written on the pages flow through me.

"She'll always have me." I speak the words without any embarrassment or hesitation. It's the truth, totally and forever. I know it. I feel it. It's scary and big, so big, but it doesn't change the fact that I believe it with all that I am.

"I believe you." I look up at Mom. She's staring at me and her eyes, while not worried per se, are full of emotion and it makes it hard to breathe all of a sudden.

"Is that for Bella?" she asks and points toward the notebook in my lap.

"Yeah … we … ah, we write to each other sometimes. She has one, too, for me, so we trade back and forth. It's kind of our thing." This time I feel the tips of my ears burn, but it's only because anytime I talk about Bella, especially about this, it makes me hot all over. Damn it all. Stupid bodily reactions. I don't mind it most of the time, but sitting with Mom, late on a Friday night, it makes me feel a little silly.

She clears her throat and I brace myself. I know that sound; it means to get ready because she's about to say something that I probably don't want to hear … or that she's nervous about saying.

"Writing letters is a nice way to get to know someone," she begins carefully, as she watches, waiting for my reaction.

This is it, I know it is. The moment I can answer those unasked questions I know have been burning ever since Bella came to the house for dinner. Mom and Dad have both been mostly silent. There have been a few veiled questions and some that haven't been quite so subtle. I've managed to skirt them. It's not that I want to hide anything, well a few facts I do, but really the thing that's kept me from answering what they both want to know is the chance that they might tell me I'm making a mistake.

I know they love Bella, how could they not, but I'm not stupid either. What Bella is dealing with is some heavy shit. It's hard and painful and anyone close to her is bound to get caught up in the tidal wave when it comes. And it will come. I know it and more than that, she knows it. She lives every day in an agonizing holding pattern, clinging to the past but wanting so desperately to move forward. Hopefully with me. God, please with me. And logically, objectively, what parent really wants their child subjected to something like that? Parents want their kids to be happy, mine tell me that all the time, so the fact that I'm purposely, even for someone like Bella, putting myself in a position to possibly get hurt … I know it makes them worry. I honestly don't think they'd ever ask me to turn my back on Bella, they love her too much for that and they know I do, too, but that doesn't mean they don't wish things were easier for her … and for me.

Since Dad's quiet but pointed questions a few weeks ago and the talk Bella and I had after school last week, I've done a lot of thinking, planning … dreaming about the future. I have decisions to make, goals to achieve, places to go, but I want Bella with me. Always. I wasn't lying to her when I told her every vision I have of five years, ten years down the road always has her by my side. Some dreams I have are fantasies, silly nonsense wishes, but others like going to college and graduating, making the World Cup team, playing in the MLS or even better, the English Premiere League, all include Bella.

I want forever with her.

"Sometimes it's easier to write things down than to say them out loud. Writing gives you a sense of freedom because it lets you be yourself," Mom says in that quiet, knowing way she has.

She's not blind and she misses nothing. I know she's seen me carrying around the notebook; she's seen me writing in it plenty. She's never asked, but I've always felt like she's known the whole time I was writing to Bella.

"I tell her things I can't tell anyone else, or I guess things I don't want to tell anyone else. We've talked about a lot the past few months," I say and watch her eyes as recognition dawns.

"Hmmm," she hums. "Do you want to share how that came about? I'm trying not to pry here, but I'd really like to know."

My stomach's a mess, all twisted and knotted, but it's not in a bad way, at least not wholly. I want her and Dad to know and see how much Bella means to me … and has from the very beginning. So I tell her, leaving out things they don't need to know like the time of day when the watching took place or the fact that seeing Bella in those tiny shorts and tight t-shirts made me want to do very, very bad things to her … those good bad things that kept me a crazy mess most of the summer. Yeah, I'm definitely keeping those facts between just Bella and me.

"I don't know, Mom," I say as I stare down at the notebook in my lap, flashes of shared words flickering in my mind like a slide show. "She needed someone … and I wanted, needed it to be me. She was so sad and in so much pain and it just hurt so much to see her that way. I can't even explain it, from the very first time I saw her, I just knew I wanted to help her."

"Oh, Edward," she says and sniffs. "So you started leaving her notes? She must have been quite shocked the first time?" She's fishing but I only smile.

I've shared pretty much all I'm going to share. The specifics? Well, those I might tell her someday … after Bella and I are happily married and she and Dad no longer have the power to ground me until I'm thirty.

But I do say, "It took a little time before she felt like she could trust me, but in the end, I think things turned out pretty damn perfect."

She pats me on the knee in that way only moms can do and I can't help but smile. That went so much better than I thought it would. I mean, I've always pretty much known that by leaving out a few facts while explaining how Bella and I met, even if it wasn't exactly run-of-the-mill, it's not all that shocking either. A little out there, yes, but like I just told her, it all turned out okay.

"Bella's going to introduce me to her mom tomorrow," I blurt after a few moments. I don't know why, but I do.

My words are met with silence. My heart slams against my ribs and my stomach is twisted so tightly, it makes me want to bend over.

I look at Mom and she's as still as a statue … everything but her eyes, which are staring out of my bedroom window. I have no idea what she's looking for or what she hopes to find but I wait, silently, for her to say whatever it is she needs to say. "Are you prepared for that?"

I shrug. "I have no idea. All I know is it means a lot to Bella, so I'm going to do it."

"Son …" Mom begins then coughs a little, though I know this is only because it's hard for her to get words to come out right now. "That's just … wow, I'm not sure what to say."

I laugh, but it's a nervous one and I kind of want to hurl to be honest. When Bella first mentioned it earlier in the week I was fine with it, but now, with the whole thing just around the corner, I don't know what or how I'm supposed to feel. Meeting Phil the next time he's in Forks will be one thing, but this … meeting her mom is huge.

Gargantuan.

"She's going to have quite the weekend, isn't she?" Mom wonders aloud and not for the first time do I ask myself if it's all too much for Bella.

The football game tonight, having me meet her mom, the dinner at my house with everyone, her present, then my special surprise … holy shit.

"She's going to freak, isn't she? She is, I know she is. Shit. I knew it was a lot, but it's too much isn't it? Damn, damn, damn …" I mutter and then hop up out of bed and nearly topple Mom over in the process.

I pace. I pull at my hair. I freak out.

Son of a bitch.

All my plans, my wish for a perfect day for her … poof … gone, just gone.

"Hey," Mom says and I jump when I feel her hand on my shoulder. "Edward, stop, you silly boy." She smiles and shakes her head and now I kind of want to crawl under my bed and stay there for oh … I don't know … a week maybe.

She laughs softly again and the lifts her hands and places them on my cheeks. "If Bella has asked you to meet her mom, it's because she's ready. She didn't have to say yes to the football game tonight, but she did. She knows we're having a special dinner and she's fine with that and I'm going to assume you've at least let her know you have one other thing planned for her and she's agreed to that, too, so just relax. It's a lot, but I don't think it's too much, not at all. In fact, I think it's all just perfect for her."

I take a deep breath. "Yeah?"

She nods once. "Yes. Trust yourself. You know Bella better than anyone else. You'd know if it was too much."

I want to believe her. I do. When I don't agree with Mom right away she pinches my cheek. "Knock it off and stop overthinking. I swear you're just like your father that way." She rolls her eyes and then grins impishly. "So romantic, but you drive yourself crazy just getting to the big event. Stop. Breathe. And then think about the smile on her face tomorrow. You're going to give Bella a memory she'll be able to keep with her forever. When she has a bad day or she's missing her mom, she can think about being surrounded by all her friends and her family and it will make her smile. Trust yourself, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you and so, so happy for you. I might not fully understand what happened between you two, but watching you at dinner with her, listening to you talk about her and how much she means to you, and seeing all the effort you put into making her day one she'll never forget, it's a beautiful thing to see, Edward."

I swallow my tongue. I can't speak. I have to take a few deep breaths so that my heart doesn't beat right out of my chest and run away.

"Family?" It's the one word that's bigger than all the others.

Mom runs the back of her hand down my cheek. "Of course family. That amazing girl is stuck with us now."

I open my mouth. I close it. I open it again. "Sometimes I feel so guilty, Mom."

The words are barely louder than a whisper but in my head they're as loud as thunder as they roar and rumble. "I have you and Dad and she has no one. I mean, yeah, she has Phil and he loves her and she has Maggie … but they're not her family, you know? She doesn't like to talk about it, and I try not to bring it up, but I get really scared thinking about what might happen if her mom, you know, dies, and we're still in high school."

Suddenly Mom's arms are around me. Ripe peaches and the subtle scent of the coffee I know she and Dad had with dessert a few hours ago fill my nose. Mom's hugs are warm and comforting and so strong. I shake as she holds me. I can't believe I just told her that. I've held those feelings so close to my heart because it hurts so much to admit them. I don't ever, ever, want to make Bella feel like I'm pitying her. It's the one thing I know with one hundred percent certainty she loathes more than anything.

I sniff, not quite crying but pretty damn close.

"Oh, sweetheart." She pulls back and her eyes are just as glassy as mine. This is so not how I planned on spending my Friday night. "You have such a big heart and you love her with every bit of it. I see it. I feel it. I know it's hard to watch Bella suffer and be sad, but all you can do is love her and be there for her. We all will. No one knows what will happen; we just have to have faith that whatever, whenever something does, we're all there to love and support her. I know it may not seem like much, but believe me, Bella knowing you're there for her gives her more comfort than she can explain to you. Trust me."

I narrow my eyes and tilt my head and think back to the moment in the kitchen a few weeks ago between Bella and Mom. I don't ask, but I know that Mom is telling me something without telling me everything.

"You're okay?" Mom asks as she takes a step back. I nod. She pats my cheek, kisses my other one and looks at me for just a moment.

"I love you, Edward. Now, get some rest. Tomorrow's a big day."

I gulp and swallow over the lump in my throat. "Love you, too, Mom. Thanks for … well, just thanks," I mumble the last little bit, because that shit's just awkward as hell, but I want her to know I appreciate her talking to me … and for everything else, too. She's a pretty fucking awesome mom.

She turns to look back for just a brief second and then she walks out.

"Holy shit," I breathe out as I flop onto my bed.

Bella's notebook bounces beside me and I hear the pages flutter as it falls back to the bed. Suddenly, just sending her a text isn't enough. I need her and since I can't see her or touch her, I do the next best thing.

Our thing.

Hey, Baby ...

It's after midnight, so I can officially tell you Happy Birthday. I already sent you a text so hopefully mine was the first wish … gotta beat Rose and Em you know. I am the boyfriend, I get dibs. Besides, while they may love you, they sure as hell don't love you like I do.

It scares me sometimes how much I love you and how much I want you to always be mine. Is it wrong of me to want that? I don't think so, it feels right to want it, so that has to mean something, doesn't it? Does it ever scare you, this thing between us? I'm probably not making sense, but you should be used to that by now. It's just that Mom and I were talking earlier. Don't freak out, okay, but I kind of told Mom about what happened over the summer … I know what you're thinking, so stop right now, Drummer Girl. Everything's fine. I didn't tell her all of it, just the basics, only enough to show her how important you are to me.

Because you are … so very important to me - the most important person to me. You know that, right?

When I think back to those very first nights watching you, it's almost like you're a whole different person now. Still as gorgeous, still driving me just as crazy, but baby, you've changed so much since then. I know you still hurt, and God that fucking kills me. I know you still get scared and angry and sometimes it probably feels like the world's going to crash down around your feet some days, but I will always, ALWAYS, be right beside you to protect you. Do you remember when we started talking, you know when I was being my totally charming, to-die-for self that you couldn't resist? Well, I was reading back through some of our old letters to each other (damn we're some wordy people, do you realize that?) and I noticed something … something that I need to correct right the fuck now.

I told you, a lot, that I wanted to be there for you, and that hasn't changed in the least in case you were wondering, no, that's just gotten stronger, if you can believe it. I also talked a lot about being whatever you needed … that hasn't changed either. But what I didn't say and should have said from the very beginning is how much I need you.

I need you, Bella.

I need your smile. I need the way you look at me. I need the way your nose scrunches up when you get excited and the way you sound when you laugh. I need the way your breath hitches in your throat when I kiss you. I need the way you feel in my arms and the way you move against me, so good and so perfect that I feel like I might go crazy.

I need the way you love me and make me feel like I can do anything.

I need you to be mine. Always.

Forever.

Beautiful girl, I hope I can make today the best day ever. Not because I want to make up for anything. Not because I feel bad for you. Not because I want to take the place of anyone else. I want it because, for one day, I want you to feel like the center of the universe, that there is no one, anywhere, as special and amazing as you. I think that about you every day, but today is all about showing you that it's not just me who adores you. Today is about celebrating you.

I know it's going to be a hard day for you in lots of ways, but I hope that even though you're missing so much, you'll see that you have a family that loves you.

I love you, Bella … with all that I am.

Edward

Before I can talk myself out of it, my clothes are changed, my shoes are on, and I'm down the stairs and out the door. The moment I step into the woods, there's this pull, the one that always happens whenever I go to Bella, and my chest expands as my heart fills with her. Always her. My steps are slow, even though I want nothing more than to be in her place, our place, so that I can feel closer to her. It's been too long since I've traveled this familiar path and for some reason I want the walk to last. The night's clear when I look up. I stop and get lost in the glittery stars sprinkled in the inky black sky. I wish on one, feeling a little foolish, but I can't help it.

"I wish for Bella to have the best day ever," I whisper into the night.

I move again, closer, closer to her. Leaves rustle overhead and beneath my feet, twigs snap deep in the darkness, and the sounds of animals, small and smaller, fill the air. The night is cool, traces of the warmth of the day linger, but when the wind blows, I shiver. My feet go faster the closer I get to her house. Slivers of silvery moonlight slip between the branches above me casting shadows on the ground. I move through them, from light to dark and back to light again.

Always closer, always to her.

Light shines in the distance. Her building. Our building.

I pass my tree and I can't help but brush my fingers along the rough bark, finding the worn grooves with ease, even in the dark. I don't stop though. Never again do I have to be that far away from her. Not gonna lie, I miss watching her. I still dream about it from time to time, those first nights that seem like forever ago. The want, the pull, the desire to be near her. That hasn't stopped. God, I hope it never, ever stops. It's just morphed, because now I know she's no further than a phone call away and it's never any longer than a few hours until I can touch her, see her, kiss her again.

And kiss her.

And kiss her some more.

She gives the best damn kisses. Slow and soft but hot and wet all at the same time and when she does that little squeak/moan thing, I die. And then I want to throw her down, rip her clothes off, and slide inside of her and never move again.

I don't slow as I reach the driveway. The doors are closed, of course they are, so I move to the side, find the key beneath the little plant beside the door and go inside. Bella. Peppermint and sugar cookies, my favorite combination in the whole world. There's a little light, it's barely enough to cut through the dark, but it's enough to keep me from tripping and busting my ass as I make my way to her drum set.

My skin tingles and the twisty turny thing in my stomach explodes to life, like one of those magical flowers that goes from nothing to full blooms with the flick of a wand. Warmth spreads, filling every part of me. She was here. Not long ago, maybe just minutes. The air is full of her, all sweet and delicious and electrified.

I smile.

She was just here.

She knew I'd come.

Of course she did.

My notebook is on her stool and fuck me running … a plate of sugar cookies.

My girl's fucking amazing.

I laugh this time, every worry evaporating in an instant.

Today's going to be a very good day.

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~

DaPK Chapter 12 - The Drag

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~

Chapter 12 - The Drag

BPOV

His eyes sweep up and down and side to side, taking inventory to make sure there's nothing physically wrong with me. His hands flutter as if he's not sure if it's okay to touch me and I wonder what in the hell he sees that's making him freak out so much. Immediately, I reach for his hands to still them because he's making me feel worse with each passing second. I hate seeing him upset, especially when it's about me.

"Edward, stop," I implore as I hold his hands down beside his legs. "I'm fine."

He shakes his head. "You're not fine. Your eyes are glassy, the tip of your nose is red, and your bottom lip was just between your teeth. You only bite your lip when you're upset or when you're trying to drive me crazy, and since I wasn't here, that leaves upset. Now, what's wrong? Did someone say something? Did you and Rose get in an argument?"

I huff and roll my eyes, a lot stunned that he recognizes so much and a little scared because he does. I don't say anything as I try to decide what to tell him because it's not like there's any one big thing, there's just a bunch of little things.

"And don't even think about telling me nothing or that you're fine; you know I hate that." He pouts a little bit which makes me smile, but I know he's serious.

He really does dislike it when I tell him nothing's wrong and that I'm fine when he can plainly see I'm not.

"Bella, come on, you're killing me here."

"I'm going to tell you; I just don't know what to say or where to start. It's just Rose and I were talking in Auto Shop …" I start and that causes him to grin.

"You were trying to get her to spill about your birthday, weren't you?" He looks much too proud of himself, all smug and smirking with his eyes bright and shiny. It's so annoying even though he's totally right.

Damn him.

"Well, yeah, and she wouldn't tell me anything just so you know, but that's not what it is. It's, I don't know, just all kinds of things." I let go of one of his hands and take a few steps away because suddenly I'm feeling the need for some space, which in and of itself makes me even more upset because I never want or need space from Edward.

"Hey, come here." His voice softens and he tugs on the hand that's still engulfed in his.

I go willingly, not even caring that he's hot and sweaty from soccer practice. It's Friday which means no staying after school, and right now I'm very grateful for that fact, even more so when his arms wrap around me and pull me close.

The parking lot is still full and I hear people all around. Doors slam, shouts of plans for the weekend, horns honk, tires squeal and I burrow my nose into his chest. His gray t-shirt is dark with sweat but he smells so good.

There are a few catcalls and whistles. The moment's pretty much ruined when Edward groans at Alec's dumbass comment about us needing a room. Not that the idea doesn't have merit mind you, but I'd rather not hear Alec mention it. Especially right now.

He leans down and kisses the top of my head before he shifts us so that he can see me.

"Do you have to go home right away?" he asks.

I stifle the immediate instinct to yes, which only serves to tell me how much I don't need to go home and how much I do need to talk to him. Everything Rose and I talked about just an hour before is swirling in my head like a hurricane, churning and gaining strength with each passing second. I need to talk to him. I need him to help me.

I need him.

I can't even talk right now, so I just shake my head.

Tears gather in the corners of my eyes and my nose burns - a sign that my breakdown is only seconds away.

Shit.

"Bella? Fuck," he hisses and pulls me toward him. He kisses the top of my head absently while he has a silent argument with himself.

I step back and lift my hand to lay it on his cheek. "I'm fine, promise. Where did you want to go? Your house?"

He shakes his head. "No."

His eyes bore into mine and my heart skips a beat. Those Jolly Rancher green eyes always see far more than should be possible. "We need some time alone together, just us. No interruptions, no one watching us, only you and me. Will you follow me?"

"Of course," I answer with no hesitation. "I'll always go where you go."

"Bella." He sighs then kisses me quickly on the lips. "You have no idea what you do to me," he whispers.

I smile, breathing easier the instant he slides his fingers between mine and leads me to my car.

He wiggles his fingers, waiting for me to give him my keys, which is really awkward considering I have to dig in my backpack with one hand. I finally manage to pull off some sort of pretzel move with my arms while I balance my backpack on my leg and slap my keys in his palm with a huff.

"You could have helped, you know," I grump and then scowl at him when he chuckles.

"And miss you twisting around so that the vee of your shirt gives me the perfect glimpse of your spectacular boobs. I think not, Drummer Girl." His eyes blaze and change from green apple to the color of the pine trees I can see over his shoulder. I'm mesmerized and I feel my nipples harden as he takes a step forward, trapping me against the side of my car. He leans in and rubs his nose along my cheek and my heart thunders in my chest. He's hard and hot all over and having him this close to me makes it difficult to breathe. His fingers lightly skim the inside of my arms that hang limply on either side of me. I shiver; my skin's covered in a field of goosebumps.

"We're going to talk. You will tell me what's been on your mind the past few days, and close your mouth because of course I noticed." He grins all proud-like and kisses the tip of my nose. He leans in closer, his warm breath fanning the skin behind my ear, and my breath catches in my throat. "Then we're going to climb into the backseat of your car because it's bigger than mine and I need the room." He lowers his voice until it's nothing but grit, rough but at the same time smooth, like satin over gravel and it makes my insides so topsy-turvy I sway. Christ Almighty. "So I can kiss you until you see stars."

My knees threaten to buckle.

My brain's a scrambled mess.

I feel hot all over.

Especially in between my legs.

Oh, my.

Somehow I find myself sitting in the driver's seat and Edward's leaning over me so he can put the key in the ignition. His smell fills the car and I can't help but deeply inhale. I know he hears me because the back of his hand brushes across the front of my shirt, right where my nipples are already hard and sensitive. The Escalade hums to life and I feel the cool draft of the air conditioning, though it really does nothing to cool off the heat that's spread through every part of my body.

I have a feeling I'll be hot all over until I can get home and get into a cold shower … my new favorite place to hang out these days.

"Be careful, okay and stay behind me. We're going a little bit out-of-the-way, but it should only take about fifteen minutes to get there. You're good to drive?" Standing, his eyes hold mine until he's convinced I'm fine.

"See you in a few." One last kiss and he's jogging to his car, not once looking back, but there's no doubt in my mind he knows I'm watching him.

A road fit more for an ATV than an Escalade, a steady stream of curse words that would put Phil's teammates to shame, and a sore neck from bouncing in my seat so much and we arrive at Edward's out-of-the-way destination. I get out of the car, careful to make sure I don't slip and bust my ass, and take in our surroundings. Out-of-the-way? If we were any more out-of-the-way we'd be in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Edward narrows his eyes at me as he approaches, holding his hands out to try to ward off what he knows I'm about to say. "Save it. We need to be alone and this place is perfect. If my car can make it, your beast can. Now, pop the lock on the back and come sit with me, we've got some talking to do."

I really want to be annoyed with him for being such a pain but I can't. I know he's worried. I can tell by the way his eyes bounce around my face as he searches for clues and the way he keeps running one hand in his hair over and over. He doesn't fool me at all with his calm, cool demeanor. I almost wish he could.

He holds his hand out to me and waits while I press the button for the latch on the back doors. Once he gets us situated, and I'm very comfortably and quite securely settled between his legs with his arms wrapped tightly around me, he leans down and presses his lips against my temple. "It's just you, me, and the trees, so talk to me, baby. Please?"

And there is the Edward I know and love with every piece of my heart … and all the rest of me, too.

I trace the outline of his hands as they rest on my stomach with the tip of my finger. "Your fingers are so strong - just perfect," I mutter absently and to my own ears my voice sounds far away and dreamy.

It's not at all what I meant to say, not really what I was even thinking about, but looking down at his hands, seeing them holding me, protecting me, the words are out before I even realize it.

"Strong enough to help you with whatever you need. Tell me, Bella. You know we don't hide things from each other. I've been able to tell all week that something's bothering you. Is it me? Did I do something? I can't fix it or apologize if you don't tell me what I did."

Of course he automatically assumes it's his fault.

My sweet Edward.

I squeeze his hands. "You most definitely don't owe me an apology, you big goof. No one's done anything; it's me. I just have a lot on my mind is all."

"Talk to me, share it with me. Let me help," he whispers.

A soft breeze stirs the trees as I stare at them while I try to put my thoughts in order. I hear a rustle of leaves off to my left, just barely in my line of sight, and I smile at the small squirrel that skitters across the pine straw, its bushy tail twitching as it hops over the ground. It's so peaceful here. There's not a sound save for the occasional snaps and cracks as unseen animals scurry through the forest. The air has just a trace of cool layered between the warm, gentle wind. Edward's arms tighten around me when I shiver as a gust stirs the air and slithers beneath my hair and meets the slightly damp skin on the back of my neck.

I scoot back closer to him and pull his arms tighter around me, not cold in the least, but I need to feel him. All of him, around me, everywhere. I can feel his heartbeat, steady and sure against my back. His breath is even in my ear and his lips find places to kiss every few seconds: my cheek, my neck, the top of my head.

It's heaven and I really could stay here for hours and not mind it for one second.

He waits. I can tell he's anxious for me to begin talking, so I don't put it off any longer. "It's not just one thing, there's lots of stuff. The last few weeks have been kind of crazy, you know. Hell, the past few months."

He chuckles and rests his chin against my head.

"Yeah, but they've been crazy good, right?" His voice is hesitant, like he's unsure.

Silly boy.

"The best," I answer and feel him smile.

"It's been hard, too, sometimes, and I get confused and scared and I worry," I say quietly. I try to keep my voice steady but I know he hears it when it wavers.

"Shhh, I know, baby, but you've done so damn well, and you know I'll always be here," he affirms, his voice sure and strong, completely opposite of mine.

"Maybe not."

Silence. Heavy and suffocating. The air stills but vibrates, crackles, with an intensity that makes my insides take a nose dive then explode in a jumble of nerves.

"I'm going to assume there's a really good fucking reason for what you just said," he rasps and he's not angry, he's hurt.

I'm such a bitch.

"Oh, Edward, no, that's not … ugh … I didn't mean … shit." I can feel hot tears drip down my cheeks. I scramble and twist around until I'm sitting up and facing him. There's a frown on his face and I want to die for putting it there.

"Then, why in the hell would you say something like that? Do you think I'm lying every time I tell you I love you and I'm not going anywhere? That I've just been blowing smoke up your ass all this time? I … I don't understand."

He hangs his head and I'm up on my knees with my arms wrapped around his neck. I kiss him over and over, mournfully apologizing in between silently telling myself I'm due for a hell of an ass kicking later.

"Oh, God, Edward. Of course I know you love me. I love you, too, so, so much!"

"Okay then, talk to me. What's going on that you'd doubt me, even for a second, Bella?" His normally bright eyes are dull and I hate that I've made him question, even for a moment, me … us.

Sitting cross-legged in front of him, I reach for his hands and pull them into my lap before I take a deep breath then tell him about mine and Rose's conversation, not leaving out anything. And I do mean anything. I don't miss the arched eyebrow or the very self-satisfied smirk on his face when I repeat what I told her about him. I blush through that whole part, but Edward is right. We don't hide things from each other. We might take a little time before we share what's on our mind, but there's nothing I don't want him to know, even if some things make me want to fall into a black hole and never come out.

When I get to the part about my mom and what I thought about in the parking lot, he pulls my hands into his lap and squeezes them, and I can tell out of all I've said, this is the hardest for him to hear.

"Can I talk now?" he asks as I take a few deep breaths to calm down once I've finished telling him everything.

A few strands of hair stick to the side of my face, and he gently, so, so gently, brushes them back as he caresses my cheek with the pad of his thumb.

"First, because I can't say it enough, I love you," he begins quietly. I start to say it back but he shakes his head quickly so I close my mouth and wait for him to continue. "Finding you, getting to know you, having you here, with me, is the best thing that's ever happened to me, Bella. Sometimes I can't even believe how lucky I am. You're beautiful and funny, sweet and hot, and make the best cookies in the world, and can play the drums like nobody's business. You're everything to me and you're mine, and every morning I wake up and can't wait to start my day because I know you're going to be a part of it. School still sucks, but there's nowhere else I'd rather be than there, but that's only because that's where you are."

He takes a breath and looks over my shoulder for just a few brief seconds, and then straightens his shoulders as if to brace himself for what might happen next. "Sometimes I feel so selfish though, because I know … I know that having you with me means you're not with your mom, and I know that makes you feel sad and guilty and I hate it. I hate it, Bella. Rose was right when she said all I want is for you to be happy. I do. I'd do anything, give you anything, to always make you happy, but I can't make your mom wake up, no matter how much I wish I could." His voice wavers a bit, and when he sees a tear fall he lifts a hand and rests it on my cheek.

"Bella, I …" he starts but then stops, closes his mouth, then swallows as he hangs his head. His eyes find mine when he raises it back up and I gasp from the intensity I see burning in them. I feel it, everywhere. My whole body vibrates and it's almost too much, the way it seems like he can see every single part of me. When he starts talking again his voice is rough and deeper than normal and the tiny hairs on the back of my neck immediately stand on end. "I know you still have Phil and Maggie and I know your mom is," he pauses a beat then says slowly, "like she is, but you will always have me. I will always be with you, no matter what. When I think about college, we're together. When I try to picture my life five years, ten years down the road, you're there. Any time, any place I dream about, you're always with me. You're all I want and I want you forever."

My eyes fill with tears and my heart, well, it feels like a balloon about ready to burst from being so full.

"I want you, too, forever," I whisper.

He smiles and pulls me forward. I go willingly. I always will. He straightens his legs and I straddle his thighs. His arms wrap around me, and mine go around him and we're as close as we can get, but it doesn't feel close enough. I can feel his heart beating against my chest, strong and steady. I bury my nose in the dip between his shoulder and neck and kiss the warm, slightly salty skin that peeks out from beneath his t-shirt. His fingers comb through my hair and we sit that way, not saying a word, for a few minutes until I feel his chest rumble as he starts to talk again.

"You have to know though, as much as I always want you with me, I understand how important it is for you to spend as much time with your mom as you can." His voice is quiet but even, and his fingers don't stop their tracks through my hair. "I might be selfish sometimes, but I'm not an asshole, Bella. Missing a party at Newton's house or a bonfire on the beach is nothing. Who the hell wants to see Alec make an ass out himself anyway? You don't have to worry about feeling bad because you think you're keeping me from anything, because that's never been my thing, even before you came along, okay? And yes, I'd love to be able to take you out and show you off, but only because you're my girl and I'm the luckiest guy around, but I understand why you can't."

"But I want to," I say softly and press myself closer to him.

"I know you do, baby, and we will, whenever you say it's okay. Please, please stop thinking that you're disappointing me, because you're not. You're so fucking strong, and I know, I know, how hard it is for you. I see it, I feel it, and it hurts to watch you struggle, but I'm so damn proud of you, too, just for trying. I think your mom would be, too. She'd want you to be happy, Bella." He squeezes me and I feel his chest rise as he takes a deep breath. His heart thumps beneath my hand, a little faster, and little harder than before. We sit, saying nothing for a few minutes, as his words firmly and surely embed themselves in my mind.

I know what he's said is true, and even though I'm sure I'll still feel bad from time to time, I'm glad I told him what's been bothering me.

I feel his lips on my cheek when he lowers his head and he kisses his way down closer to my ear. His breath is warm and it makes me hot all over, even while it gives me goosebumps. "Can we go back to the part about you wanting to make out with your boyfriend? I kinda liked that part."

I giggle, feeling a million times better. The heaviness from just a moment ago vanishes just like that, even though I know it won't be long until it comes back again.

My Creeper, he always knows just what to say. No wonder I love him with all my heart.

"Yeah?" I ask, sitting up.

His eyes are sparkling, bright and so green. His lopsided smile makes my tummy flip-flop and I want nothing more than to have his lips on mine.

"Yes. Now, get down here and kiss me, Drummer Girl," he says, his voice like warm gooey chocolate.

He doesn't need to ask twice. I lower my mouth to his and the second our lips meet, everything but him fades away. He opens his mouth and my tongue finds his. Breaths and groans and growls and whimpers, they're the only sounds I hear. His. Mine. Ours. We kiss and kiss and kiss and it makes every part of me want more. Of his hands, his mouth, his fingers, his tongue.

All over me.

Everywhere.

"Edward, gah, I want … " I pant.

I roll my hips and tighten my legs around him. I press my chest harder against his, and both of us hiss when I move just right. God, he feels so good. He's hard beneath me, so hard, and my nipples shoot sparks of want straight to between my legs when they rub against him just so.

I don't know what to do. I want to kiss him. I want him to touch me. My hands twist in his hair and then I let go. They move to his face, his shoulders, his arms, then they flutter about because I don't know where I want to touch him next. I think I'm going crazy.

"What? What do you want? Tell me." He grips my hips and holds me still.

Our eyes meet and I feel so exposed, even though not one piece of clothing is gone. It doesn't matter. I could be completely naked standing in the middle of a field of wildflowers with the sun shining down on me and I don't think he could see me anymore fully than he does right now. He sees everything. Always. It's scary and exhilarating and embarrassing and the best feeling in the world all rolled into one.

I want to hide.

I want him to see.

"What do you want, Bella?" he asks as he kisses the side of my neck. His tongue swirls around the spot behind my ear that makes me wild. When I feel his teeth scrape along the hypersensitive skin, I moan.

"Touch me, please?"

"Oh, baby." He lowers his voice then slowly turns us so that he can lay me down.

It's the first time we've been this way and I can't get enough. Normally we're standing, or sitting, but we've never been in this position where I can feel all of him against all of me.

I don't want him to ever move.

But he does, and it's even better than just a few seconds before. His legs are between mine and when he rocks forward, I see stars … and not because I'm squeezing my eyes closed so tightly all I can see is white. He's hard and he feels so good. So good. It's scary how good he feels. I can't help it. I lift my hips against his and the sound that comes out of his mouth as he moves up and down against me makes my heart fly and my blood feel like fire as it races through my veins.

"Shirt. Off. Let me see you, feel you." His mouth is everywhere: my lips, my neck, my face.

I don't even hesitate before I wiggle out of my shirt. The wiggling isn't helping the situation down below either, or maybe it is. I don't know. All I know is how it feels, better than anything before, even better than when we were together in my building.

The second my shirt's over my head, his mouth is on me again, only this time, now, it's on skin that he's never touched before, at least not with his lips. His hands yes, but oh God, they don't feel as good as his mouth.

"You taste so good," he breathes and where he's licked cools and it makes me shiver. And hot. And want him. So, so much.

His fingers and his mouth travel across my shoulder blades, down my chest, around my bellybutton, leaving trails of heat and tingles behind. I tug on his shirt, wanting - needing - it off.

He chuckles as it bunches up around his neck because I growl.

"What's the matter, baby?" I feel his lips curve into a smile against my stomach.

"I want to feel you, too. Take it off." I huff, and blow out a frustrated breath.

He's killing me and he knows it.

Ass.

I lick my lips when he kneels and pulls it over his head. His muscles ripple and flex and he's so gorgeous. Perfect. Not too bulky but smooth lines and hard planes and a trail of dark hair that dips beneath the waistband of his soccer shorts. Shorts which do nothing to hide what lies beneath. God, I can't wait to feel him, all of him, inside of me, but I know we're not ready. Yet. Not long now though. When I look into his eyes, they darken, and I know he's thinking the same thing.

"I can't wait until I can be with you, all the way," he says as he watches his fingers ghost across my body. He circles my bellybutton with the tip of his index finger, then his tongue wets his bottom lip as it moves up, up until he moves it back and forth across my chest, beneath my breasts. His breathing gets choppy and faster as his finger moves from below to around my nipples, first one then the other.

Thank God I wore one of my nicer bras today. It's not Victoria's Secret or anything, but it's dark purple and lacy and I know it looks good on me. From the way Edward can't take his eyes off his finger as it makes smaller and smaller circles, I'm pretty sure he agrees with me.

"So hot," he breathes, then finally lifts his head to stare at me.

"Can I … will you … take this off, too? So I can see you?"

My hands shake as I reach behind me to undo my bra. It's not easy and I want to be embarrassed because I'm fumbling as he watches me, and I am just a little, but it goes away the second I slide it down my arms and drop it beside me.

I move to cover up, because holy hell, I'm topless and we've never done this before. No one's seen me like this, ever, except for other girls in the locker room at school and even then I dress as fast as I can. He grabs my wrists before I can get that far and he shakes his head.

"Don't. You're so beautiful," he whispers as his eyes burn into mine and I want to cry because I can feel his words. Not just between my legs, but in my heart and soul.

He leans down and kisses me, soft and deep and it's like he's pouring every bit of himself into me. I want it, I take it, because I need him more than I've ever needed anyone or anything in my life.

"I love you so fucking much." His mouth moves from mine to my neck. "Always." Down lower to the hollow of my throat. "Forever." Even lower to the top of my breast. "Don't ever doubt it, Bella." Lower until he flattens his tongue and licks my very hard, achy nipple. "Ever." Again. "You're the only one I'll ever want."

His fingers glide down my stomach and he wordlessly undoes the button on my jeans and pulls the zipper down, his tongue never stopping its delicious torture as it moves from left to right across my chest. His hand slides beneath my panties and his fingers touch me there for the first time.

Startbursts and fireworks and thousands, millions, of pinpoints of sparks everywhere. I blindly reach for him, but he stills my hand with his free one. "No, baby. Let me make you come, just you this time."

"But I want to touch you, too." And I do. God, I do.

He rocks his hips and I gasp when I feel how hard he is. "Bella, the second your hot little hand touches my cock I'll explode, so right now, let me feel you come. Next time, you can touch me all you want."

"Promise?"

He nods just before he sucks a nipple into his mouth and I arch my back, shamelessly trying to get him to suck harder because it feels so good. His fingers circle and slide, and my hips move in time with his. I'm so close. Everything feels tight and hot and I'm gasping, saying his name over and over again. A finger dips then enters me and I open my mouth, but no sound comes out.

"Oh, oh," I cry out, a little in shock but it lasts only a second because as soon as his finger starts moving, I don't ever want him to stop.

"Holy … oh fuck you feel so good. So hot and tight. Jesus, just perfect." He lifts his head to look at me. "Are you okay, is this okay?"

He looks down at his hand and then back up at me, though he doesn't stop what he's doing. I nod. "Yes, God yes. I'm gonna, oh God, I'm gonna come!"

"Fuck yes. Let go and come. Come hard."

His finger moves in and out faster, his thumb presses down in a way that makes my entire body light up and he closes his mouth around my nipple again. Lips and teeth and then his tongue and his finger and his thumb, somehow they all work together, at the same time, and I explode.

I try to keep my eyes open but I can't so I close them and just let myself ride the wave.

It goes and goes and when I can finally feel my toes, I open my eyes and find bright green ones full of love … and quite a bit of pride staring at me.

"That was the hottest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. Jesus, Bella." He bends down and gives me a sweet kiss that is totally opposite of what he's just done to me, but somehow totally perfect … just like him.

"I love you. So much," I say softly and run a hand through his damp hair. I feel tears sting the corners of my eyes, but they're happy ones. Very happy ones.

"Mmmm, love you, too," he quips before he gives me a raspberry on my boob.

"Nice." I giggle. It feels so good to be with him like this, happy and free and totally, completely in love with each other.

The grin on his face when he looks up is enough to melt the panties right off me, if they weren't already halfway off in the first place. "What? I told you, they're spectacular and they're about to be covered up again, I was just saying goodbye."

"God, you're such a guy."

He kisses me soundly on the mouth. "Your guy and don't you ever forget it."

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~

DaPK Chapter 11 - Too Many Cymbals

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~

Chapter 11 - Too Many Cymbals

BPOV

"Rose."

A roll of summer sky blue eyes. "No."

I pout. "Please?"

"No, Bella." She adds a huff and a glare.

"Come on, one hint. Edward let it slip you were helping him. Just a little tiny hint. You know you want to." She's going to cave, I know it.

She puts down the socket wrench and wipes her greasy hands on her stained, chambray-colored coveralls. "Will you drop it? Jeesh, you're as bad as Alice when Jasper's trying to keep a secret. You'll find out when it's your birthday and not before, so stop trying to make me break my promise to Edward."

"I'll ask Emmett; he loves me. He'll tell me." I grin at her, thinking I've found my ace in the hole.

"Go ahead and ask, but he doesn't know, so you're pretty much shit out of luck with that one, sweetcheeks." She laughs when I stomp my foot and growl at her.

I'm not really mad … at least not very much. Knowing that Edward's planning something for my birthday is killing me though.

"Fine," I concede, grudgingly. Honestly, I don't want to upset Edward by finding out beforehand, even if I really, really want to know what he's going to do.

"It's only another week, you big baby. You can wait."

I scoff and tighten the bolt on the engine, jerking my arm with a lot more force than completely necessary.

I have no doubt I'll love it … whatever the hell it is.

"You're going to love it though," she singsongs at the same time.

"Bitch." I laugh and nudge her with my hip as we lean over the piece of crap 1995 Chevy Caprice in auto shop. Or rather, it was a piece of crap until Rose and I got our hands on it. It gets closer to a working piece of art every day.

Rose scoots back and then pops her head up, looking over the raised hood. "Hey, Mr. Garcia, Bella and I are going to replace the carburetor and put in some new shocks, okay?"

He grunts, snorts, and shakes his head all in one continuous movement, just like he always does when it comes to the two of us, before he waves us off with a nod, mumbling, "Girls."

It's pretty much his standard reply when it comes to me and Rose, as if the single word explains everything. The first day of class when Rose and I walked in together, the man looked positively apoplectic, like he'd never seen a girl in his life. Who knows, maybe he hasn't, but really? Hasn't he ever seen Marisa Tomei kick ass in My Cousin Vinny? Ever since we both proved, quite soundly and rather impressively if I do say so myself, our automotive knowledge by reciting the mechanics of the standard internal combustion engine he pretty much leaves us to our own devices … as do the rest of the guys in class. Rose likes to tease them. Actually, what she really likes is making them look like idiots for not knowing as much as she does, whereas I just like to lose myself for an hour … and maybe get rid of some pent-up frustration by twisting and turning and sometimes banging away on a motor. Most of the time the frustration is of the Heidi and Bree variety, but sometimes it's Edward's fault. When he's to blame, it's usually of the sexual persuasion.

Oh yeah, the boy has undoubtedly had me so flustered since our "date" two weeks ago, I hardly know which way is up these days. Between sweet kisses every chance he gets at school, the not-so-sweet but totally hot things he whispers daily in Spanish class … in both languages … on top of a few extremely intense make out sessions after school in his car or mine, it's a miracle I manage to get up and dress in clothes that match every day.

And let's not forget the last few letters he's left in our notebooks. Damn. It's enough to keep me in a constant state of arousal. Jesus, the letters are so steamy they make me blush just thinking about them.

Bella, I can't wait to be inside of you

I want to taste you, all of you, every inch and everywhere

When you moan my name, I can feel it

Your hands, your mouth, yours are the only ones I'll ever want

I will love you forever

Please always be mine

I swear, the boy is going to melt my panties right off my body one of these days.

"Earth to Bella." Rose smirks and arches a perfectly-sculpted eyebrow at me. I'm hot all over, and I know my face is scarlet. "That must have been some daydream. Do you need a moment to ah … you know …" She snickers and wiggles her eyebrows. She knows exactly what I was thinking about. Well, I hope not exactly, but close enough for me to want to sink into a hole and never come out again.

"Oh, God, Rose …" I groan, mortified, and vow to kill Edward the moment I see his sexy ass. This is all his fault for being … well, so damn irresistible.

She giggles and straightens up. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I love Emmett more than my car, but that doesn't mean I'm blind. Edward's hot, always has been and he's even more so now that he smiles all the damn time. He can't seem to keep his hands off you for more than two minutes whenever you two are together. The boy is one hundred percent, without a doubt, crazy in love with you, and not the least bit shy about letting anyone know it. That's always sexy and irresistible, you know, wanting what you can't have, but he's completely off the market as much as Heidi and Bree wish it weren't so."

I snarl … snarl … at the mention of their names, which only makes Rose laugh harder.

"You can't blame them for trying, but Edward doesn't even see them. The only person he wants is you."

I sigh.

I smile.

Because it's true.

So, very, very true.

"I love him so much," I whisper, not at all worried about admitting such a thing to Rose.

She sets her wrench down and leans against the side of the car. The rest of the class is occupied doing whatever and Mr. Garcia has his nose buried in the newest issue of Automotive Weekly, so no one is paying any attention to the two of us. Not that they do much of that anyway, except for the times we catch one or more of the perverts staring at our butts as we bend over the engine. My stomach is rumbling, all knotted and twisted. Not in a bad way, but in a nervous 'I really need to talk to someone who's not supposed to be a mother figure' type of way.

Like a best girl friend kind of way.

I've needed this ever since dinner at Edward's house. Needed to talk to someone about all the feelings and worries and confusing thoughts I have. The thought of talking to Maggie makes me want to throw up. And Phil, um … not just no, but hell no. I'm not confused about Edward, but it's everything else. I guess it's kind of Edward, too, because most things these days are about him, even if it's in some roundabout way.

I feel like I'm going out of my mind sometimes.

"Spill it, sister. What's got you all frazzled?"

I stare at her for a moment. Her blue eyes could so easily be cold and calculating, but instead they're as warm as the Caribbean Sea. "I don't know what I'm doing half the time. Edward's totally amazing and I know he loves me, probably just as much as I love him. I get scared that he's going to get tired of waiting for me and decide I'm not worth all the hassle."

"Bella," she says softly and without even a hint of the condescending attitude I've seen her put off more than a few times. "Why do you think he's going to give up on you … which will never - fucking ever - happen, just so you know."

"It could," I argue stubbornly.

Not that I want it to happen. Just thinking about it makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry, but I'm not stupid. A whole lot frustrated and scared sometimes, though. She huffs, sounding a bit more annoyed, but mostly just confused.

Join the club.

"He tries so hard," I begin and stare at the ground. "He thinks I don't see or can't tell, but I know he gets disappointed with me when I feel like I need to be at home instead of out with him or hanging out with you all. It's not that I don't want to, you know?" The question is meant to be rhetorical, but she answers anyway.

"No, Bella. I don't know."

When I look up at her, her eyes are shimmering with tears. So very un-Roselike.

She shrugs her shoulders and purses her mouth before she starts. "None of us has ever been in your shoes so how can any of us know what you're feeling? And Edward doesn't get disappointed with you. He just hates feeling helpless. He would do anything for you, give you anything, and the one thing you want more than anything else is your mom back. All he wants is for you to be happy. It's hard for him to see you sad, and he's a guy so he probably doesn't always handle that like he should, but he tries."

Rose. She's such a softie. She only lets a few people see this side of her. Thank goodness I'm one of the lucky few that do.

"I know, Rose." I sniff and look up at her again.

"I do know," I say a bit more emphatically, though I think that's more for my benefit than for hers. "It's everything else, too."

She chuckles a little bit and tilts her head to the side, motioning me to the two battered, mismatched plastic chairs in the corner by the workbench. Once she unzips her coveralls and lets them hang from her waist, she sits, faces me, and says, "Go."

So I do.

"Dinner at his house was so incredible … his parents, especially his mom, seeing them together, just being in that environment … it was everything I thought it would be and more. I was so nervous I'd make a fool out of myself, but they were nothing but welcoming." I ignore the snort she lets loose at the very obvious understatement and keep going. "Ever since then, it's like some sort of switch has been flipped, and not just for Edward, but for me, too. He's flirtier than ever, always touching me or whispering all kinds of sweet and not-so-sweet things in my ear and when he kisses me …" I have to take a deep breath and press my fingers to my cheeks in a pitiful attempt to cool the rush of heat that I know has turned my face into the color of a stoplight.

"When he kisses me," I breathe out, "it's like I can feel it … everywhere. My toes, the tips of my fingers, hell, I think even my ears and my elbows tingle. I've never felt like this before, about anyone, ever. This all-consuming, mind-blowing, totally terrifying feeling of being completely out of control. I'll walk through my house sometimes and forget where I'm going. I'll sit at my drums and start thinking about him and the next thing I know, thirty minutes have passed. In Spanish class, I sometimes think about what would happen if I just turned around, climbed over the desk and kissed him senseless. When we're in English and Mrs. Peterman is lecturing and we're supposed to be taking notes, I miss half of what she says because I can't stop staring at his fingers and remembering what they feel like when he touches me." I'm spewing so fast, words bubbling out of my mouth, I'm not even sure I'm making sense at this point.

"I want to be with him … all the time. Not just a few frantic minutes between classes or rushed kisses in the parking lot before he has to go to practice. I want to sit on the couch and watch TV with him, even if it's that ridiculous Full Metal Jousting show he loves so much. I want to hang out with you guys at Jasper's house. I want to go to a football game on Friday night and then to a party, where we'll find a corner and make out; or spend a few hours doing totally teenager things like beer pong or where me, you, Ali, and Ang laugh at our boyfriends for acting like idiots. I want to go with you and Alice to Seattle to watch the guys play soccer. I want to go out on a date with my boyfriend. Dinner, a movie, a walk to get ice cream, and then end with making out until our lips hurt." I sigh and choke on my words as I try to finish because I'm about four seconds from completely losing it. "I just want to be normal and do normal things like any other eighteen-year-old girl with a hot, sexy boyfriend … and I can't."

Rose doesn't speak for a few uncomfortable minutes. I can tell by the way she keeps huffing and the way her eyes are furtively bouncing from object to object that she's working her way up to saying something - obviously something I most likely don't want to hear. She'll say it anyway. She's Rose, it's who she is … honest to a fault.

"It's not that you can't, Bella; it's that you won't."

Her words steal my breath and without thinking I'm on my feet, ready to tell her to go to hell, birthday secrets and carburetors be damned.

She holds her hands up and her eyes glisten, unshed tears and a dip between her eyebrows, too.

Seeing her upset takes the fight right out of me and I fall back into my seat. My heart still clenches and my stomach knots because I'm not sure I'm ready to hear what she's about to tell me. "When Edward first told me about how he found you, stalked you, then fell for you, my first instinct was to roll my eyes and want to slap him upside his head."

Unable to stop myself, I snort and flash her a quick smile. "That's your first instinct to everything everyone says!"

"Shut it, Swan." She grins, but it falls as fast as it appears. "But listening to him talk about you, about your mom and what you've been through, and about your dad, too - he was literally in pain."

A sob escapes and I clap my hands over my mouth.

My Creeper.

Always so ready to take on the world for me.

Rose sighs, but it's not in annoyance or anger, not at all. Instead, it's full of empathy … not pity, thank you very much … and friendship. She squats down so that she can look me in the eyes and in a sisterly gesture that brings even more tears, she pushes a strand of wayward hair behind my ear. "He loves you, Bella. You're his whole world and I've never seen him happier than he's been over the last few months, since he found you. And all he wants is for you to be happy. I think …" She falters and then takes a deep breath, then another before she starts again. "I think your mom would want the same, too. I might not understand what it's like for you, but I can imagine how afraid you must be to try to carry on without her."

She softens her voice until it's barely above a whisper and looks at me. A few tears fall from her eyes and I can't help but watch as they slowly slide down her cheeks. She finishes, saying, "But I think you need to keep trying, even if it's hard and even if it scares the shit out of you. Spending every day too scared to be happy isn't living at all … it's just existing."

"But, Rose … I don't … I can't … I just …" I stutter between shaky breaths.

She squeezes my hands and stands up. Looking down at me she says softly, "Just think about it. We just got you, we'd like to play with you, too, even though Edward's never been very good at sharing." I chuckle a little, feeling lighter and like the tight knot that had settled in my chest has loosened just a bit. She grins and her eyes sparkle. "Mrs. C always used to pack extra cookies in his lunch when we were younger and that jackass never shared one damn time!"

"Why doesn't that surprise me? He sure does love his cookies," I tell her and then brace myself when I see Rose's mouth twist in a knowing grin.

"Well, he sure loves your cookies, Swan."

"Shut it, Hale."

The final bell rings just as Rose and I remove our coveralls. I follow her out of school and into the parking lot, lost in my own head as I think about what she said. I hear Emmett holler for Rose and she waves goodbye before hurrying toward him. As I watch Em wrap her up in a big hug that lifts her off her feet and hear her giggle float through the air, I can't help the surge of wistfulness that spreads through me. She and Alice are leaving in the morning to watch the guys play their first match of the season in Seattle. They asked me to go, but I told them I couldn't.

I think back on what Rose said and amend my thought; I could go, I just won't.

Then I think of my mom, lying in her bed day after day after day. Can she hear me when I talk, sense me next to her or feel when I hold her hand? I hope so. I want to believe it so badly, but as more days turn into more weeks, my faith that she'll come back to me fades. I still cling to the belief that she will, but it's getting so hard.

But what if she opened her eyes, even for a split second, long enough to look at me, and I wasn't there? If she was all alone? Just the thought is enough to stop me dead in my tracks and for my chest to heave and tears to spring into my eyes.

Just when I feel like I'm about to fall completely apart, there are two arms around my waist.

"Hey, baby." Edward's voice washes over me and fills every part of me.

He spins me around and the smile on his face falls the second he sees me. "Bella, oh God, what is it?"

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~

DaPK has been Nom'd!

DaPK has been nominated over on The Lemonade Stand!

If you so desire and have a moment, please vote for Creeper and Drummer Girl!!

Thanks!!

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DaPK Outtake 2 - Through His Mother's Eyes

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Outtake #2 - Through His Mother's Eyes

Esme POV

And you want me to kiss you after that? No way, baby. That's just … yuck. I love you, but no.

Did Edward just …?

I glance at Carlisle, who's turning a bright shade of red. He gasps, trying to catch his breath after choking on his iced tea, and I realize that, yes, yes he did.

Oh, my.

Another quick glance at Carlisle and it doesn't take but a second to realize that he's not so much shocked by the words themselves, but that Edward's said them out loud … in front of me.

I file that away to ponder later, adding it to the list of other things like cookies, containers, Edward's sudden love for texting all the time, and a son that was way too eager to go back to school.

I look at Edward. My eyes water and my heart, well, it fills as I watch him grin at Bella and hear her sweet giggle in return.

His eyes shine and his smile … I'm not sure I've ever seen him smile so big or be so happy. Not ever.

My son is in love.

Can't say I saw this coming, especially since the little sneak didn't bother to inform me of exactly who our mystery guest was going to be. It makes sense now, I suppose, but that sure doesn't mean I'm not going to make him suffer just a little bit for keeping something as big as this from me. He has a girlfriend, and not just any girl … the girl from the looks of things.

Bella Swan.

Wow … just wow.

"So, Bella, I imagine it's taken a little while to get used to all the rain up here as compared to Phoenix. Did you ever spend much time in the desert? I hear it can get quite cold at night, even in the summer. I've always wanted to see a Saguaro cactus," Carlisle, ever the inquisitor, asks after a few minutes have passed.

Bella nods her head and smiles at Carlisle before answering him. "Oh, yeah, the rain's been a little hard to deal with, but it's not bad. It's the cold and the damp more than anything that are the hardest. In Phoenix, everything was always so dry, dusty. Mom was always complaining about it. She'd say as soon as she dusted, she'd need to do it again, because all it did was come right back." Her smile falls and her bright eyes dim with the mention of her mother.

Edward leans over and whispers something in her ear and gives her a quick kiss on her cheek before he starts talking again, deftly changing the subject. It takes her a moment to rejoin the conversation. She hangs her head for a few seconds, eyes closed and a wrinkle in her forehead. She bites her bottom lip, as if she's trying to hold something in, then she slowly takes a deep breath before raising her head. Edward's eyes immediately find hers and the love and concern that pour out of them makes my heart stutter in my chest.

My sweet, amazing boy.

Carlisle asks Bella about school and she and Edward begin telling him about the first book they have to read for English class.

After all I've heard about her, both from my husband and the rather nosy and opinionated women in town, I have to say Bella's not at all like I imagined. She's beautiful, not that it's important, though I'm quite sure my son doesn't mind. She was obviously nervous when she walked through the door a little while ago, but looking at her now, laughing at my husband and teasing Edward, you'd never know it. She's charming and sweet, and judging from the moans I heard from Carlisle earlier when he thought he was being stealthy, a very talented baker. She's polite and respectful. She very clearly cares about my son a great deal. I didn't expect that either, to be honest, considering I assumed I'd be dining with someone I've known since they were in elementary school.

I'm definitely not on my game because I really should have known that he wasn't bringing home just anyone. He's never brought a girl home before. Ever. Not that he's been a hermit or anything, but Edward has always been on the fringes, watching, a part of things, but he's always held himself back. Between his love of music and his dedication to soccer, it's not surprising, even though it has caused me more than a few sleepless nights, wondering, worrying as moms are prone to do.

Is he happy?

Should I be concerned he's never had a serious girlfriend?

What is he going to do when high school is done and he has to go out on his own?

Will he be ready?

Will I?

Is he going to destroy my pool while we're gone?

On and on and on sometimes.

I worry. It's a mother's right and part of the job description before your child is even born.

To prove my point about my sorely lacking instincts even further, I realize as my eyes continue to slide to Edward and Bella, that he's been different all week. Thinking farther back, he's been different since we got back from Alaska. Lighter … freer even, definitely more focused. I know he enjoyed his freedom while we were away and was looking forward to going to camp so that could explain part of it. But more than anything he was …

Happy.

Truly, supremely happy.

Again - oh, my.

Pieces continue falling into place, the picture becoming clearer.

Conversation flows and though I nod and smile when I'm supposed to, even interject and add a few comments here and there, mostly I watch.

I watch the way Edward leans toward Bella, even as he talks to Carlisle. I notice how when Carlisle brings up what Edward thinks might be a sensitive subject, his eyes are immediately on Bella, making sure she's okay. The way he touches her, looks at her, smiles at her … it's plain to see that their relationship is more than a few days old. A lot more than a few days. It's not just Edward either - it's Bella as well. Her cheeks flush when Edward looks at her, her eyes brighten, her smile is only for him. She draws strength from him. It's in the way she leans toward him and breathes him in, as if sharing the same air and holding it inside her body somehow makes it easier to breathe.

It's so much, so soon … too soon?

More things to mull over later.

"Bella, I see Phil's Mariners are headed for the playoffs. Are you planning on attending any of the games?" Carlisle asks and tries to unobtrusively add another scoop of macaroni and cheese to his plate.

I quirk my eyebrow at him. He knows better, but he smirks and shovels a forkful in his mouth anyway. And he wonders where Edward gets his penchant for pushing things to the limit, just because he thinks he can get away with it.

The fact they both get away with far too much, frequently, probably doesn't help matters a whole lot.

Bella sort of shrugs at Carlisle's question and Edward's arm stops midway to his mouth as he turns his head to watch at her, looking half-afraid of her answer. "I don't think so. It's hard to be away from …" She lets her voice taper off.

We all know what she means; it's the elephant in the room after all.

I open my mouth to say something to ease the abrupt tension, but of course my words aren't needed. Edward drops his fork, completely ignoring the angry clatter it makes as it bounces on his mostly empty plate.

He twists in his chair so that he faces her. His hands lift and he gently, as if he was cradling the most precious of things, places them on her cheeks.

"Baby," he whispers, totally oblivious to his father and me. The only thing he sees, the only person who matters, is Bella. He tenderly brushes the tears off her splotchy cheeks and then leans forward and kisses her forehead, once, then again.

My heart squeezes and my own eyes fill with tears. Tears for this beautiful young woman who possesses such incredible inner strength. Whose whole being lights up when she looks at my son. Who has been nothing but gracious and grateful, even in the midst of all she's lost. Tears for my son who has suddenly, and right before my eyes, turned from boy to man. Who has taken everything his father and I have taught and modeled by example, and shared it with someone who is more than worthy of his exceptional heart.

"Esme, are you okay, sweetheart?" Carlisle asks from across the table, as I splutter and gasp while I choke on the sudden rush of emotion bubbling its way up my throat. I wave him off, but he holds my gaze for a few moments, long enough for us to have a silent, meaningful conversation.

Our boy's in love, his eyes tell me.

Our boy's finally found his way, mine tell him back.

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~

DaPK Chapter 10 - Shielding

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~~

Chapter 10 - Shielding

EPOV

I'm in trouble.

Lots and lots of trouble.

The quirk of Dad's left eyebrow, and the slight tilt of Mom's head, coupled with her narrowed eyes, leave little room for doubt. And even bigger signs of my impending doom - Bella's fingernails are digging into the palm of my hand and the fact that she hasn't taken a breath since we walked through the door.

It's like a moment in a movie, when everything freezes for a few frames, music plays in the background, the beat ramping up the tension until it's so thick you can feel it. Goosebumps break out, covering your skin. The hair on the back of your neck and on your arms stands on end. Your heart pounds, blood echoes in your ears, and chills walk up and down your spine. You have no idea what's coming next, but whatever it is, it's going to be huge.

Huge, as in bringing your girlfriend home for the first time.

I give my dad a look, silently screaming for help. The flash of a smirk lets me know he's going to enjoy my imminent ass kicking from my two favorite girls far too much. I shiver at the thought. The only other thing that can cause my balls to shrivel to the size of marbles is when Rose is pissed at me ... which thank fuck doesn't really happen too often.

Dad throws me a lifeline - one which I'm sure I'll have to repay. Probably by cleaning out the garage.

"Bella, it's so nice to see you again," he says warmly and with a very genuine smile on his face as he steps forward.

"You, too, Dr. Cullen." Bella smiles back. Her voice shakes, and I squeeze her hand to try to get her to relax. Or I think I squeeze; I still can't feel my fingers.

"Bella, it's so nice to meet you. I've heard so many wonderful things about you ... from my husband," Mom gushes as she takes her place next to my dad, then gives me a pointed look, letting me know that yes, I most definitely am in for it when dinner is over. "You're just as lovely as he said."

"Thank you. It's good to meet you, too. Edward's talked about you both so much." Bella turns to smile at me. Her cheeks are pink and her eyes are bright and I can't help but chuckle a little bit when she puffs her cheeks then exhales.

She takes my breath away.

"Mmmm, what do you have there?" Mom asks.

Bella squeaks adorably and hands the plate to Mom. "Ahhh, sorry! These are for dessert. I hope it was okay to bring something?"

"Oh, they're simply delightful! Carlisle, come see!" Mom grabs Dad's elbow and tugs so hard he stumbles over his feet. "Don't they look delicious? Come, Bella, let's take these to the kitchen where they'll be safe from those two." She grins at Dad and me while Bella looks like a scared kitten. "You can tell me your recipe." Mom hooks her hand in Bella's elbow and starts to lead her away, but reaches out with her other hand and places her fingers beneath my dad's chin. His mouth is hanging open and seriously, there's a bit of drool in the corner.

"Close your mouth, honey, it looks like Bella's made plenty."

We all laugh at Dad. I want so badly to reach out and grab Bella's hand and pull her back to me, but I don't.

Mom and Bella take a few more steps before Mom turns around and looks at me over her shoulder. "By the way, Edward, you might want to put that container in your room. That way when you give it back to Bella, you can give her the other one, too. You know, the one you brought with you to camp?"

Ah shit. I'm so busted.

Bella's eyes go wide; they're almost frantic when she looks at me. I try to give her a smile to reassure her, but I've swallowed my tongue and I can't breathe.

Mom giggles and then wraps an arm around Bella's rigid shoulders. I watch, entranced, as she leans in and whispers something in Bella's ear. Her soft laugh causes my heart to start beating again and then of course it flies away when she nods at my mom and they both laugh over whatever secret they've just shared. I can't take my eyes off Bella, even as she disappears with my mom.

I love her so much it's ridiculous.

Dad clears his throat beside me. "So, son, you got your own cookies I see."

"Yep." I smirk and waggle my eyebrows. "And they're all mine, too, old man, so hands off. Bella made more than enough for you guys."

He claps a hand on my shoulder. "Now, I know that your mother and I taught you to respect your elders, so hand one over and I'll forget to mention to her that there seems to be a section of her flower garden missing."

Oh no he didn't.

He holds his hand out and waits. Huffing and giving him the most annoyed glare I can, I open the lid. The aroma of vanilla and butter and sugar escapes and Dad and I both inhale, moaning appreciatively. I stare at the frosted bits of decadence. My mouth waters and I stick my tongue out, sampling the sugar cookie-scented air.

My girl is a fucking genius in the kitchen. Granted, I've never eaten anything of hers besides cookies, but still. I know she is. She has to be.

Dad wiggles his fingers and I take my sweet ass time deliberating which cookie to give him. Today she's made flowers, I'm guessing in honor of my mom. Most are covered with light pink frosting and some have multicolored sprinkles while others are decorated with squiggly lines of lime green, pale yellow, lavender, or sky blue. I give him one with the squiggly lines … no way I'm sharing my sprinkles, not even with him.

"Give me two and you don't have to take the trash out tonight."

I pick another one out and start to hand it to him.

"One with sprinkles." He smirks.

I snatch my hand back, shaking my head. "Uh uh, no way. Bella knows how much I love the ones with the sprinkles - they're my favorite."

"Fine." He huffs, sounding inordinately put out, like he's doing me a huge favor by giving in.

As if.

I'll take the trash out every night if I have to in order to keep all the sprinkles for myself.

"Don't spoil your dinner or Mom'll be upset," I quip as I head toward the stairs.

"Oh my God." Dad moans as he takes his first bite. I can't help but laugh. It seems I'm not the only one slightly obsessed with Bella's cookies. Okay, I might be more than slightly obsessed. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I get almost to the top of the stairs when I hear Dad's shocked voice, "Holy shit, these are the same as the kind left at the hospital all summer."

I chuckle. He'll figure it all out before too long.

I walk into my room and set the container on my desk, resisting the urge to eat a few myself.

My phone vibrates; it's a text from Jasper: Does B have Dr and Mama C wrapped around her finger yet?

He knows my parents so well.

I tap the button to call him back seeing as how I have a few minutes. Only a few though. I already miss Bella.

"Yo, dude, didn't anyone ever tell you it's not cool to talk on the phone at the dinner table?"

"You are such an idiot." I laugh. "You know Mom would have my ass if we were eating and I was on the phone."

"So, what'd they think of her? Where is she? What did Esme make for dinner?" he fires at me. I swear, he's such a chick about this kind of stuff.

"I'm pretty sure they both love her already, but I can't tell for sure yet. Mom already stole her and dragged her to the kitchen. Dad is inhaling the cookies that he bribed me for, so she's golden with him."

He moans. "Bella made cookies? When is she going to make some more for the rest of us?"

Oh yeah. Bella has left all kinds of cookie monsters in her wake. As long as she remembers that I'm the most important one, then we're all good.

"You can ask her tomorrow. Just make sure you don't let Emmett hear you say the word 'cookie.'" We both laugh at that because Emmett's almost as bad as I am, though he's a hell of a lot more shameless about it than me. By a long shot.

He snorts and I can almost see him rolling his eyes. "Are you kidding me? Bella's got that boy so turned inside out it's ridiculous. Besides Rose, I've never seen Emmett act like an idiot over a girl before ... well, except for Annie McGregor when we were in the seventh grade."

He's not kidding either. Between Rose and Emmett, it's a wonder any of us have managed to spend any time at all with Bella at school. One or both of them is always talking her ear off, dragging her through the hallway or perched beside her at lunch … basically trying to cut into my time with her. If I didn't know how much Bella needed to feel welcomed and like she belonged, I'd be pissed. But I do know. I also know it's important for Bella to develop her own friendships with people other than me, even if they happen to be with people I've known almost my whole life.

As much as I want to keep her to myself, I know I have to share. Doesn't mean I have to like it, but I'll do it for her. Honestly, it makes me damn happy to see her get closer to Emmett and Rose. They're good for her. Emmett makes her laugh, which she does far too little of in my opinion, and Rose, well she just gets Bella. I'm not exactly sure why that is, but she does, just like I knew she would.

My girl, she's dealt with so much. It's incredible to watch her find her way and let go, even if it's only a little bit at a time. Eventually she'll find her wings and be ready to fly.

As long as she takes me with her …

I've stopped talking long enough for Jasper to ask, "Hey, everything okay?"

Intuitive bastard. I swear, next year when we're not at the same school, I'll probably get phone calls in the middle of the night making sure I don't need to talk about my feelings or some shit.

"Yeah." I sigh and lean against the window in my room.

"That doesn't sound like a 'holy shit, my hot girlfriend's in my house' kind of sigh, Edward. What is it?"

"I just worry sometimes that this is all too much for her. You guys, school, everyone else at school, meeting my parents, dealing with her mom, having Phil so far away all the time. It's so fucking much, Jas. She's trying so hard, but I know it's overwhelming. How could it not be? She's pulled in different directions, all the time. By me, by her responsibilities. She wants to act like a normal teenager, but the whole fucked-up situation with her mom makes her so scared. Like last night, she wanted to go over to your house and hang out with us, but she couldn't make herself leave her mom. Then she was worried I was mad and you guys were disappointed, and then felt guilty because she wanted to stay home. How is she supposed to deal with all that shit?" I bang my head against the glass … a lot more frustrated than I let myself believe I was.

He laughs a little bit and says in his very annoying pain in the ass way, "You just wanted her there so the two of you could make-out with her like the rest of us were. Not that I blame you."

"Shut up, fucker." I huff, but laugh back.

He's not wrong though. Not about the making-out part. Just remembering Friday night makes my shorts way too fucking tight and I reach down and adjust before it gets painful. Touching her, her touching me, kissing her … feeling her, it was better than I ever imagined it would be. I want more of it, lots more of it. More of her, more of being with her.

"It makes me feel like such an asshole sometimes, because I want to be with her all the time, and then get mad because I can't."

As much as it makes me sound like a prick to say it out loud, it feels fucking good to finally get that off my chest.

"She's your girlfriend, you're crazy about her, so of course you want to be with her all the time. That doesn't make you an asshole, it makes you a horny eighteen-year-old, just like all of us other eighteen-year-olds," he says calmly, though I can tell he wants to roll his eyes at me. I bet he is anyway.

Jackass.

"I don't just want sex with Bella. I mean I do want it; I'm a guy so of course I do, but not only that. Fuck, I can't even explain what I want." I rub my chest with my hand because it's tight and it feels like I can't get enough air into my lungs.

"Edward." He sighs. "It's okay to be frustrated. All of this is new for Bella, but it's hard for you, too. You've spent all summer watching her and getting to know her, training for camp, worrying about tryouts, college, and her. School this week's been crazy, we had a scrimmage on Friday, you were with Bella Friday night, us last night, and today she's meeting your parents. Cut yourself a fucking break, man. You don't have to always have everything under control, you know. No matter how much you want to, it's not gonna happen. So, try to chill the hell out and get ready to grub on some of your mom's awesome cooking. What did she make anyway? You didn't answer me." He changes the subject so smoothly that it takes me a moment to realize what he's done, but when I do, I take a deep breath then let it go.

He's always doing shit like that. Saying what needs to be said, then dropping it just as fast. He made his point, now he'll let me think about it.

It's what he does … and he's damn good at it, too.

I laugh, knowing I'm about to drive him crazy. "Fried chicken, homemade mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese, salad and biscuits. Oh, and not only do we get cookies, but Mom made apple pie, too."

He curses, growling louder with each one. "Sorry, Jasper. Mom wanted to go all out today … and that was before she knew it was Bella that was coming for dinner."

He snorts. "Holy shit, you didn't tell them who she was? You, my friend, are either incredibly stupid or fucking brilliant. Call me later and tell me how it goes - that is if you're not in a coma from all that food. Oh, and don't forget we have to run tomorrow, so keep that in mind when Mama C tries to get you to eat just one more scoop of mac and cheese."

I hang up on his laughing ass, feeling a lot better.

I knew I was getting frustrated. Not at Bella, never her, but at everything else. Jasper wasn't wrong about the past week - it was fucking nuts. Intense and exciting and nerve-wracking and the best week ever all rolled into one. Now that Mom and Dad know about Bella, and once I get through the third degree that there is no getting out of, I hope things can settle down some.

I'm more than ready to be just Edward and Bella.

Deciding my mom has monopolized my girlfriend long enough, I head back downstairs. My phone vibrates again. Rose this time.

Thinking about you and Bella, call me later!

My friends fucking rock.

I drop my phone back into my pocket as I step into the kitchen, ready to collect my girl because I've been without her for far too long, but the sight in front of me freezes me in place.

One of Mom's hands rests on Bella's cheek, the other brushes a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. The action is so motherly, so tender, that I lose my breath. My chest tightens and the corners of my eyes sting with the onslaught of unexpected tears. I've never, ever, loved my mother more than right this minute as I watch her with Bella.

Bella needs this, needs the comfort and security of a mother so much.

"She's a very special girl," Dad says quietly as he stands beside me watching the poignant moment.

"She's everything."

It's the only thing I can say, but it says it all.

Dad gasps then looks at me, searching, probing. "You love her."

Not a question but a statement.

"With my whole heart and all that I am."

There's no hesitation, not even the tiniest waver in my voice. It's as easy to admit as breathing.

"You know her mother …" he says after a heavy pause.

I nod. "I know. But Bella's strong, so much stronger than she thinks she is."

"And her step-dad, he's …"

I turn and look at my dad. Confusion and worry as plain as day on his face. "I know, Dad. I know it all."

His eyes widen then narrow and I know his mind's going a mile a minute putting things together.

"I don't want to know how it's possible you are close enough to already have those feelings for her and know so much about her, do I?"

I scoff and then grin, shaking my head. "No, probably not."

I'm not lying. He really doesn't want to know and it goes without saying how much I don't want to tell him. Ever.

It's not so much that I'm worried about what he and my mom will say. They love me and trust me and I don't think I've done anything they would be too upset about. The watching her, maybe, but it's not like I used a telescope and watched Bella undress or take a shower. Watching her like I did is a little out there, even I can admit that, but it all turned out okay in the end.

Right?

That's what I keep telling myself anyway.

"Son," Dad says and his voice is laced with emotion. He lifts a hand and rests it on my shoulder and I can feel his concern flowing through his fingers. "Do you really know what you're getting yourself into? Bella is a lovely young woman, don't get me wrong, and I'm thrilled, ecstatic even, to see you so happy. But things with her mom and dealing with the guilt and the heartache she's sure to suffer from when Renée's body finally gives up … it's going to be hard. Are you ready for that?"

"I'll do whatever she needs me to do for her. Anything. I know what I'm doing, Dad, I promise. I love her."

I know there's more he wants to say. He wouldn't be Dad if he didn't, but it's not the time or the place for it.

"Trust me," I tell him before stepping into the kitchen, unable to stay away from Bella any longer.

"What are my two favorite girls up to in here?" I grin as I walk forward.

Mom rubs Bella's arm in a gesture meant to reinforce whatever she's just said to her and Bella's answering smile makes me smile. She looks so happy. And beautiful. And perfect.

And at home.

I can't even think about what that means right now - it's too much.

"Mom's not telling you lies about me, is she? She exaggerates. You can't believe a word that comes out of her mouth, I swear," I say as I wrap my arm around Bella's shoulder.

Having her next to me settles the explosion of nerves that have just erupted; they're gone as fast as they came. Not that they won't be back, because holy hell, between words like forever and home and everything, my mind's spinning way out of control.

"So if your mom was just telling me that you were the best son in the whole wide world, she's exaggerating about that?" Bella teases with a soft jab of her elbow in my side.

"Well, if she said that, then absolutely not. You should believe every word the brilliant woman says."

The smile on Mom's face when she sees Bella slide her arm around my waist and press herself closer to me makes me feel almost as good as Bella does being near enough for me to smell the intoxicating blend of peppermint and sugar cookies that never fails to turn me on.

Not the best thing to have happen standing less than two feet from your mom, but whatever. It's not like I can do anything about it. By this point, I can't stop it even if I wanted to.

"Carlisle," Mom calls to my dad as he walks in to join us. "Come help me carry everything to the table. Edward, you and Bella grab the lemonade and the iced tea, please, then we can all sit down to eat."

She and my dad walk out, loaded with platters and dishes, leaving us alone for a few precious moments. I turn Bella so that she's facing me and lean against the island, pulling her between my legs. I reach for her hands, taking one in each of mine and link our fingers together. So good. Jesus, the way it feels when I touch her. Warm and tingly and just so fucking incredible. I can't get enough, not ever. Not of her. Not of the way she smells or tastes or sounds when I kiss her, or when she laughs. Not of the way her voice shakes and gets all breathless and sexy when I press myself against her, or suck on the skin behind her ear.

I want her.

Always.

With me.

Forever.

"You okay?" I ask, forcing myself to focus on her, on the here and now.

She nods and the sweet smile on her face lets me know she really is. "Your parents are wonderful, Edward. Your dad is even nicer than he was before and your mom …" She sighs and I squeeze her hands to let her know I know what she's feeling … even if I don't, not totally. "Your mom is amazing."

"Eh, she's all right I suppose." I grin and shrug my shoulders when she scowls at me.

I know this is a touchy subject for her and I never know quite how to handle it. I love my mom. I've never been afraid to admit it or embarrassed to show it. And I know how much Bella wants to be able to do the same thing, to have her mom with her, even though she can't. I hate it, knowing that I have something she wants so badly and I can't give it to her.

Bella retreats like I expected. Her eyes stare off into the distance, her bottom lip immediately caught between her teeth and her mouth turns down in the tiniest bit of a frown. It doesn't last long, a few seconds at most, just long enough for her to pull herself together. When her eyes find mine, they're glassy and they break my heart.

"I love you," I tell her. I won't tell her it's okay when we both know it's not.

"Love you, too," she whispers.

I lean forward and kiss her. It's not anywhere near as long as I want or need it to be, but it's long enough that I hear her breathing change and feel the heat of her blush.

"Edward," Mom calls from the dining room, bringing our little moment to a close.

For now.

"Come on, we better get in there before they start without us. Dad!" I holler, pulling the pitchers out of the fridge and kicking the door closed with my foot as I turn around. "Save me the drumsticks."

I set the pitchers down on the table and then pull out Bella's chair before I take my seat beside her. Mom is on one end, Dad on the other. The table is covered with food and my mouth waters. Seriously, my mom makes the best fried chicken.

"Bella, dear, I hope there's plenty here you like to eat. Edward didn't mention anything specific when he told me we were having a guest for dinner." Ah, it's nice to see she's going to make me suffer for a bit.

"No, it looks great, Mrs. Cullen," Bella answers as she lays her napkin in her lap.

"Esme, sweetheart. Now, let's dig in before it gets cold."

Plates are passed and food is piled on. My dad keeps watching me, I'm watching Bella, and Mom watches the two of us. It's weird, but whatever. There's food to eat and my girl is next to me, so it's all good as far as I'm concerned. Small talk commences as the drinks are poured.

Dad hands me the bowl of salad and I serve some to Bella, making sure to pick out the tomatoes.

"What?" I question when both my dad and Mom are staring at me slack-jawed and wide-eyed.

"She doesn't like tomatoes. Ketchup yes, but tomatoes, no. I know it's strange but it's not like Dad and his buttermilk."

Bella giggles as she takes her plate from me. "Don't knock it, Edward, it's good."

"Thank you, Bella. I've been trying to get him to try it for years but he's too chicken." Dad laughs and then smirks at me. "See, I told you. Listen to her, you might like it."

I whip my head around and look at Bella, incredulous and honestly a tiny bit grossed-out. "And you want me to kiss you after that? No way, baby. That's just … yuck. I love you, but no." I shiver and shake my head; just thinking about it gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Dad chokes on the iced tea he unfortunately just took a drink of and Mom, well she looks like she wants to cry and laugh and probably kiss me all over my face.

Sometimes my parents are so odd.

I grin at Bella and then take a bite of my mac and cheese. Everyone else digs in and before long Dad has Bella talking about Phoenix.

This … having her here with me and my parents, laughing and sharing, is about the most perfect thing ever.

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~