Chapter 18
EPOV
"So is this what you do when you're not working?"
I hear the voice and it takes a second for it to register. The Breakers is packed to capacity for the lobster boat races this weekend. It's Wednesday and all the activities will be starting bright and early on Friday morning and finish up with the lobster dinner on Saturday night.
But until then …
"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask, stunned to see Wayne standing in front of me.
I immediately tense, thinking the worst, until he laughs when Carlisle and Esme walk up beside him. "I come up every year for the races. Thought I'd surprise you. It looks like these two," he says as he waves back and forth between Carlisle and Esme, "really can keep a secret if they want to."
Esme scoffs and swats him in the arm. Carlisle shakes his head at the two of them, leaving me to feel like I'm in the middle of a Twilight Zone episode. My heart's still pounding and my stomach feels like it's on the floor somewhere between my feet.
"Cute kid." He smirks and tips his head toward the table Peyton and I have been sitting at while we wait for Bella to take a break. "You thinking of getting a new job I don't know about?" The corners of his mouth lift slightly as he looks at the table. It's covered with thread and beads because, yes, I'm making bracelets with Peyton … and key chains, and something that looks eerily like Tom Brady's head.
I snort, rolling my eyes at the same time, and realize it's really good to see him. Standing, I reach out to shake his hand and I tell him so. "It's great to see you, even if you scared the shit out of me."
A giggle beside me. "I'm telling Mom you said a bad word," Peyton says which causes the three of them to laugh at me.
I huff. I've been trying really hard to tone down the language, at least whenever I'm around Peyton. It's not like she'd let me slide anyway; little thing has supersonic hearing when she wants to use it … which is often if it gets me in trouble with her mother. For some reason, Peyton likes to watch Bella get all riled up, especially when it's aimed at me.
Traitor.
Though I can't say I mind too terribly myself … Bella is sexy as hell when she's pissed off.
"Who are you?" Peyton asks bluntly before I have a chance to introduce her to Wayne.
He looks taken aback for just a moment but of course she smiles at him and he's under her spell before he can even blink again. I chuckle. Chalk up one more person she's captivated just by looking in their direction. Like Bella and I have talked about numerous times before, it's a damn good thing Peyton doesn't use her powers for evil … we'd all be in so much trouble if she did.
Wayne sticks his hand out. "My name is Wayne. I'm a friend of Edward's," he tells her. "You're much too pretty to be hanging around with the likes of this one," he teases as he points to me.
She narrows her eyes and scowls at him. My little protector to the rescue. "I'm Peyton, and I'm Edward's best friend," she says as she crosses her arms.
Carlisle and Esme try to keep from laughing but all that does is make them laugh even harder. Poor Wayne can't tell whether to let his mouth hang open or laugh himself as he stares wide-eyed at her. My shoulders shake because I'm laughing but one look at Peyton makes me stop. She's still scowling. Obviously she takes her job as my number one defender very seriously.
I hold my hand out and wait for her to stand up on the chair beside me. Bella will kick my ass if she sees Peyton standing on the furniture, Renée, too, more than likely, but I'll cross that bridge if I come to it. Right now, Peyton's my main concern.
"Sweetheart," I say softly as I wrap an arm around her and hold her close to me. "Remember when we talked about what happened to me when I was in Boston and how I got to come here when I was done having to be in prison?" I ask, looking only at her. I wait until she nods and then I kiss her quickly on the tip of the nose. "Well, Wayne helped me so that I was able to come here, to Corea."
She sucks in a sharp breath as she realizes what I mean. "Well, why didn't he say so?" she questions with a roll of her slate blue eyes as she stares at him, waiting for an answer.
I lean in close to her like I'm going to whisper, but say loud enough for Wayne to hear me, "He's old so he's kind of slow sometimes."
Peyton giggles as Wayne growls, "Watch it, kid," before turning to Peyton once more. "My apologies, Miss Peyton," he says and then gives her an exaggerated bow before he takes her hand and kisses the back of it.
"Come on, dear," Esme says as she holds her hand out to help Peyton off the chair. "Let's go find Nana and see about getting these three silly men something to drink."
Before Peyton gets down, she kisses me quickly on the cheek and then happily skips off with Esme, grinning at Carlisle when he ruffles her hair as she goes past him.
"She's something else," Wayne says, a bit awed, and a bit afraid if the tone of his voice is any indication.
I turn when I hear Peyton's sweet voice as she talks to Esme then face Wayne again when they walk toward the kitchen. "You don't know the half of it," I tell him as I start putting away the mess on the table.
Carlisle and Wayne both take a seat and I look up only to find Wayne studying me. Unlike the first time I was subjected to that hard as nails stare, this time I merely stare back for a few beats and then shrug my shoulders as I continue to put everything away.
"I guess you'll just have to tell me all of it back at Carlisle's and Esme's then, won't you," he comes back with immediately, not missing a beat.
For just a brief moment, no longer than it takes to take a deep breath and let it out, I worry about telling him anything about Bella and Peyton. That ingrained instinct to not trust anyone rears its ugly head, but as soon as the moment passes, I realize I do want him to know. I want him to understand and see that the second chance I've been given hasn't been for naught. I want to show him that I'm making a new life for myself, one that I never imagined having, but one that makes me happier than I ever expected to be.
With a start, I realize I want him to be proud of me.
I glance at Carlisle. He nods his head just once at me and I know he understands where my mind just went. After all, it's nothing he hasn't heard during any one of our numerous conversations over the past few weeks.
My skin tingles. I hold my hand out, sighing just a bit when Bella's fingers slide between mine. It never fails to catch me a little off-guard the way I know when she's close by, even if I can't see her. I've stopped trying to figure it out because it really doesn't matter why it is … it just is.
"Hi," she says with a soft smile.
She was busy when I got in after work so I didn't get a chance to do anything but wave as Peyton pulled me toward the table. I can tell she's curious about who Wayne is, and a bit nervous, too, because she pushes a strand of hair behind her ear. I try not to groan. She knows what seeing that little piece of silver jewelry in the top of her ear does to me. It makes me crazy, like throw her down on the table and fuck the hell out of her crazy.
Vixen.
I smirk at her when she looks at me again. I pull on her hand to get her closer, letting go so I can wrap my arm around her waist. My fingers itch. I want to slip them beneath her tight navy blue t-shirt, knowing how good her skin would feel, but I keep my hand firmly settled on her hip.
"Bella, this is Wayne Harris, the guy from Boston I told you about. Wayne, this is my girlfriend, Bella Swan." I have to admit, my heart pretty much jumps into my throat and makes itself at home at the word 'girlfriend.' Everyone we spend time with already knows Bella so it isn't like I ever have the need to introduce her to anyone. Hearing the word now is actually pretty fucking amazing.
Bella clears her throat, apparently having the same issue with her heart as me, and in a shaky voice says, "I've heard a lot about you. It's really nice to meet you."
Wayne takes her hand, and being the pain in the ass that he is, holds onto it entirely too long. He even kisses the back of it like he's an English gentleman or some shit. "The pleasure is all mine," he drawls and then smirks at me when I growl at him.
"Knock it off, Masen." He laughs heartily. I want to feel bad for acting like a Neanderthal but I really can't find it in me to do so.
Not when it comes to Bella.
"Edward, Esme is going to have dinner ready in about an hour. Will you be joining us?" Carlisle asks as he and Wayne both stand.
I hate missing a chance for quality time with Bella and Peyton, but I also want to spend some time with Wayne. I catch his eye for just a moment while I try to make up my mind. From the way he looks back at me, I can tell there's more to his visit than just coming to spend some time with his old friends.
"Babe, it's okay. You need to go and spend some time with Wayne. Just make sure you call to say good night," Bella says quietly beside me when I hesitate another few seconds.
I dip my head and run my nose around the outside of her ear, and whisper, "As if I would ever miss a chance to say good night to my two girls."
And I won't as long as I can help it. There are times of course, like when Charlie has us out overnight, something that's happened a few times in the last month, when it's impossible to call, but I never go to bed without telling both Bella and Peyton good night first if I can help it. It takes me two phone calls, because when Bella and I say good night it's usually preceded by conversation that's most definitely not suited for seven-year-old ears.
A quick picture blooms in my mind of being able to tuck Peyton into bed every night, wishing her nothing but sweet dreams, before climbing into bed and being able to do the same thing with Bella in my arms. It's way too soon for that, of course, but it doesn't make me want the vision any less.
Slow.
Bella and I both agree that taking things slow is the best course of action. I still believe it's the way to go, but it sure as hell doesn't make it any easier to be away from her every night. The more time we spend together, the harder it is to say goodbye when it's time to go back to the boarding house. I don't spend the night over at Bella's if Peyton is home and I don't spend every night over there after work either. Granted it's only one night, or two at the most, out of the week that I don't go over there, but that little bit of space goes a long way to helping us maintain some sort of balance.
There's nothing I want more than to be completely focused on Bella and have the same reciprocated from her but even someone as relationship-challenged as me knows that will only lead to problems down the road.
Bella had a life before I showed up, a family and friends that she enjoys spending time with, and I would never want her to change who she is for me. She has time that she spends focused solely on Peyton and I am adamant that I won't intrude upon that … ever. Their relationship is beautiful. It's pure and perfect and something that's so strong nothing will ever break it. The fact that the two of them love someone like me is something I'll never take for granted.
I made that mistake, once, with my grandparents. It isn't something I'll ever repeat again.
Wayne slaps me on the back and brings me out of the stupor I'm in and says, "I'll see you back at Carlisle's. Bella, it was very nice to meet you. I'm sure I'll see you again soon."
She giggles when I growl again because he winks at her. She turns around and lays her hands on my chest when the two of them walk away. "I like him; he seems nice," she says as she looks up at me.
My hands drape loosely at the small of her back. From there it's nothing to let my hands dip farther and cup her ass. We might be standing in the middle of a busy restaurant, and her family's at that, but being this close to her isn't ever anything I can resist.
I want to make a smart ass comment about Wayne, but remembering what I felt just a few minutes ago makes the words die in my throat. "I'm not sure I'll ever know why he tried to help me, but I know I'll never be able to thank him enough. Not only did he get me out of that hellhole, he got me out of that godforsaken city and helped me get here … where I found you and Peyton. There aren't enough words in the dictionary to express how grateful I am to him for that."
"Me, either," Bella answers back softly.
I want to kiss her. I need to kiss her, like really … really kiss her, but standing in the middle of a restaurant, it isn't going to happen. Besides, if I start, I won't stop and I'll miss dinner and upset Esme - two things I definitely don't want to happen.
I settle for leaning down and placing a long, open-mouthed kiss to the spot behind her ear. Her salty-citrus smell wafts around me and I can't help but nip at the sensitive skin. I pay for it when Bella moans low in the back of her throat and she presses herself closer to me. My dick, traitorous thing that it is, stands at attention the moment Bella's knee slides between my legs and she's aligned perfectly with me. She feels so good. I'm about five seconds away from calling Carlisle and telling him I won't be making dinner after all.
Apparently Bella knows exactly how good I think she feels and giggles while taking a small step backward. She doesn't move too far away, but it's enough to keep me from embarrassing the hell out of both of us. I chance a quick look around the crowded restaurant, thankful our little grope session has gone unnoticed by everyone … except Seth who raises both hands and mouths, "I give that a ten," like the fucking idiot he is.
I'm about to make a gesture back to him that's not at all family friendly when I feel a tug on the bottom of my t-shirt.
"Are you coming over later?" Peyton asks with a tip of her head.
Forgetting about Seth, I shake my head and look down at her. "Sorry, sweetheart. I'm going to stay at the boarding house tonight and talk to Wayne."
She tries to kill me with a pout, complete with a bottom lip that she sticks out farther than should be possible and big, watery eyes. "But I want you to come over. We have to finish making our bracelets."
If she stomps her foot or heaven forbid starts with the tears, I'm a goner and she knows it. Very rarely does she use the power over me she and everyone else knows she has to get me to give in, but I can tell she's thinking about it now. I really need to talk to Wayne; the uneasy feeling I had before is still niggling at the back of my mind.
I glance at Bella, who gives me a look that lets me know I'm on my own. Damn woman. She knows how hard it is for me to tell Peyton no. I squat down. I grab a hold of Bella's hand to give me strength, even though it feels like she's throwing me to the wolves right about now. Just when I'm about to give in, I look up at Bella and smirk because I've just come up with the best damn idea. "How about we go for ice cream tomorrow night, just me and you? Your mom has to help Nana get ready for the weekend. That way we get out of helping and we get ice cream," I tell her conspiratorially.
Bella snorts above me and Peyton giggles while she nods her head. "Yay!" she squeals and claps loud enough to make the people at the table next to us laugh at her.
"Ah hem." Bella clears her throat which causes me and Peyton to look up at her. "And just how, pray tell, do you plan on getting her to Ben and Bill's, hmmm? You sure aren't taking her on the back of your bike, Edward, so unless you have a car hidden someplace that I don't know about, seems like the two of you will be stuck helping me and Nana."
"Cherry of course," I tell her with a smirk.
"You think so, do you?" she quips and I nod, knowing she's trying to play tough, but that she'll cave like a house of cards.
I bring out the big guns. I nudge Peyton and we pout at her at the same time. "Please?"
Bella lasts less than five seconds before she raises her hands. "Okay, okay. I swear between the two of you."
"That's my girl," I tell her with a quick kiss. "I'll call you guys later, okay? I need to run so I'm not late."
After another kiss for each of them, I head to the boarding house.
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
"Oh, Edward, dear, you're just in time," Esme exclaims happily as I walk into the kitchen. I grab the platter of shrimp kabobs from her, careful not to drool because they look fucking delicious.
She flashes me a smile that makes me feel like a gooey marshmallow, and then pushes open the back door. The sun has dipped below the horizon, the crickets are out in full force, and the smell of pine and salt mixes with the citronella candles Esme has lit all around the deck. On the picnic table there is a bowl of rice pilaf, a basket of fresh baked rolls, and a pitcher of iced tea. We all help ourselves and sit at the table.
Dinner is … an experience. Stories that I'd never believe if I hadn't been sitting here to watch and listen as they tell them flow fast and furious. Stories that make me look at the three of them in a whole new light … and make me a tiny bit afraid of the lot of them if you want the God's honest truth.
I stand to help Esme clear the dishes, ignoring Wayne's chuckle. "You sure don't look or act much like a hardened criminal, Masen. What do you think the boys from Old Colony would say if they could see you now?"
I stack the plates and scoff. "Like I give a fuck what any of those assholes think. Besides, I'm the one that's out. Guess that makes me the lucky fucker that gets to have the last laugh, doesn't it?" My words are sharp and my stomach clenches uncomfortably. I take a deep breath and realize that I am the lucky fucker that's out … and I'm never going back.
I know Wayne is just being Wayne by teasing me, but the thought of ever having to go back inside, of being locked up again, makes my blood run cold. Forcing those thoughts away, I set the dishes on the counter. I make my first good night call of the night and wish Peyton sweet dreams and promise that we'll go have ice cream tomorrow night, no matter what her mom says. I grab three beers out of the fridge, making sure Esme doesn't want one, too, after I hang up the phone.
When I walk back outside, Wayne and Carlisle stop the discussion they're having and each of them gives me the strangest look. I hand them their beers. The sun has set even further and the yard is full of fireflies. I smile as I take my seat around the fire bowl now that we've moved from the deck to the lawn.
"Boy, if your smile got any bigger, I'd have half a mind to make you pee on a stick to make sure you're not high," Wayne says as he tips his beer and takes a drink.
"Wayne, leave him alone. I'd be willing to bet he's thinking about Peyton. That's his Peyton smile," Carlisle teases.
I shrug. I can't dispute what he said; I am thinking about my Sprite. She loves fireflies, like most kids I assume. Of course I don't care about most kids, I only care about her.
"Tell me about them."
Esme has joined us and sits on Carlisle's lap. I swear the two of them act like they're still teenagers. I look off toward the trees, my eyes following one lone flicker of light as a firefly bobs and weaves with the breeze.
"They're everything," I begin, thinking the word pretty much sums up the two of them perfectly.
I expect a smart ass comment from Wayne but instead, when I look at him, he only raises that one damned eyebrow and waves a hand in the air indicating I should keep going … so I do. I tell him about meeting Peyton the first day and what she told me. I tell him about seeing Bella for the first time. I tell him about how my first meeting with Charlie went and how fucking hard my first day on the boat was. I tell him how Bella acted like I had the plague or at least really bad B.O. the first few times I saw her. I tell him that even though she's only seven, Peyton is the most amazing person I've ever met and it kills me that she'll never meet my grandfather. I tell him about what Bella, Charlie, and Emmett have had to deal with in regard to Evan and how terrified she is of the fact that I work on the water. I even tell him that she told me she loved me first and that it was totally an accident when she did it.
That got a laugh out of all of them, even though Carlisle and Esme have heard the story already.
I finish up, saying, "They both know everything and they love me anyway. I don't understand how or why, but I'm sure as hell not about the give them up. I don't deserve either one of them, but I'll be damned if I let that come between us."
Wayne doesn't say anything after I get done talking. The fire crackles inside the clay bowl, plumes of wispy smoke rise and then float away. An owl hoots in the trees off to the side. There's a crack of a downed tree branch and the rustle of leaves as some unseen forest creature scurries away.
"You told Bella what happened the night you were arrested?" he asks pointedly.
I wonder just how much he knows. He's never indicated. I know I didn't tell him much of anything before I came to Corea and I can't imagine the man I saved remembers it all either.
"All of it. Every ugly minute of it, I spelled out for her." My voice lowers and my hands begin to shake. I hate … with the intensity of a thousand suns … talking about that night. A fact of which Carlisle is well aware. Anytime during our pseudo-therapy sessions, which let's be fucking honest, are exactly therapy sessions, the subject of Aleksei and that night come up, it's almost guaranteed I'll need an extra fifteen minutes, minimum, to get my shit back together after I freak out. It happens every time and I'm pretty fucking positive it will always be that way.
Wayne leans forward in his whitewashed Adirondack chair, his elbows digging into his leg. "Does she know Aleksei has never been caught? That he's still out there somewhere?"
Esme gasps and my head snaps in her direction. Carlisle looks like he's just seen a ghost and Wayne looks like … well, actually he looks like he'd rather be anyplace but right here, right now.
Motherfucker.
I stand up and pace. My hand immediately goes into my hair and I squeeze my eyes shut. I try to remember the breathing exercises that Carlisle taught me all those weeks ago, the ones I've hardly had to use, because it seriously feels like Mack truck just rammed into my chest. It's not working.
Pressure spreads. I gasp for breath, struggling to get the oxygen I need. Starbursts of white explode behind my eyelids, followed by flashes of red. Everything is muffled, like I'm underwater. I know Wayne, Carlisle, and Esme are saying my name, but if they're saying anything else, I can't decipher what it is. Every muscle in my body locks in place and I briefly wonder if this is what it feels like to be paralyzed.
Jesus Christ, I scream to myself as I try to get my body under control.
Thoughts of Bella and Peyton swim around in my head. I try to focus on their faces, try to hear Peyton's giggle and Bella's breathy voice when she tells me she loves me. Anything, everything I can concentrate on to keep the other dark, sinister thoughts from becoming any more concrete.
My fingers tingle and I can feel the blood start to flow again. A horrible, raspy sound fills my ears and I look around to find the source only to realize a few seconds later the sound is coming from me.
Fuck.
Carefully, slowly, I open my eyes. I don't look to my left or right because I know when I do, the three of them will be looking at me. I don't want to see the worry or worse yet, the pity, I know will be there. Instead I gaze at the trees and take a few deep breaths, letting the humid, salty air calm me down.
"Edward?" Carlisle asks quietly.
I shake my head, not ready to answer him yet.
An hour ago I didn't think I could be any happier. An hour ago I kissed Bella and told her I loved her. An hour ago, Peyton jumped into my arms and told me that we had a date the following day.
An hour ago I thought my past was truly in the past.
Until Wayne reminded me that it wasn't with just one word.
Aleksei.
"You don't think …" I whip my head in Carlisle's direction, hoping that he'll give me the answer I need to hear.
Just the thought of that fucker even breathing air that's in the same state as Bella and Peyton has me seeing red and desperate to get the fuck out of here and go straight to Bella's house.
My heart still pounds in my chest; my skin still feels stretched too tightly over my body but I concentrate on breathing in and out. I reach into my pocket and roll Peyton's seashell between my fingers. I tell myself over and over that they're both safe, that they're at home, probably curled up in Peyton's bed reading together before it's time for Peyton to go to sleep.
In through my nose, out through my mouth I breathe and after a few minutes I feel somewhat calm. I won't be totally okay until I can talk to Bella and hear her voice, but for now, I can manage.
"Better?" Carlisle asks, still standing by my side.
I nod. My jaw aches, the muscles in my shoulders and neck are on fire from locking them down so fast and for so long. I roll my head around then my shoulders and flex my fingers to slowly get the blood flowing through them again.
"That one was shorter than the others. You remembered your breathing exercises."
I nod once more. "It was easier to stop, too," I answer him.
I turn around and Wayne is watching me warily, like at any moment I'll freak the fuck out again. "I'm fine now so stop looking at me like I'm going to fall apart," I snap.
My legs feel like Jell-O so I flop down in my chair. I run a shaking hand through my hair and barely resist the urge to pull on it. Instead, I tip my head back and stare up at the stars. Looking at them reminds me that I'm not stuck inside a prison, that I've started a new life and have friends and people that care about me, that there are two people that love me, even though they know the worst things about me.
"I didn't mean to upset you," Wayne says contritely.
Esme silently stands up and walks past me, stopping long enough to kiss the top of my head, and heads into the house, leaving just the three of us.
I wave off his apology. He had no way of knowing just hearing that name would set me off.
"If anything ever happened to Bella or Peyton because of me, I don't know what I would do," I say out loud though it's not directed toward either of them.
"Edward," Wayne says and waits until I turn and look at him. "There isn't any reason to believe that Aleksei even knows you're out of prison, let alone where you went once you were released. No one knows you have a connection to Corea so even if he wanted to look for you for some reason, he'd never think to look here."
"I can't even think about that," I tell him, shaking my head to keep that thought from taking root in my mind. "They're my whole world. I'd die before I let that son of a bitch anywhere close to them."
I mean it, too. With every fiber of my being I mean it. I'd kill him before I let him hurt them in any way.
No one says anything after my vehement outburst. Esme returns with mugs of coffee for each of us, apparently thinking that we might be out here for a while. I have to admit when I told Bella I wanted to catch up with Wayne, I never thought we'd spend time talking about Aleksei of all the damn things. I stare at the coffee in my mug, the steaming, brown liquid reminding me of my favorite pair of eyes.
"Carlisle and Esme have told me such good things about your life here now, Edward," Wayne states. I hear the words but I don't look up. I keep staring at the coffee and smile.
"Good things is an understatement," I answer immediately when I look up at him.
He settles back in his chair and crosses one leg over the other. He stares at me. His eyes narrow slightly and his head tips to the side, like he's trying to solve some complicated math equation in his mind. "Yes, I can see that." His voice is wistful almost, or at the very least, contemplative. After a few moments of silence he says, "This is exactly what we all hoped would happen when you got here. Though I suspect no one expected you to fall captive to not one, but two, very feisty, very beautiful females." He stops to laugh lightly at that as do the rest of us. "The fact that you're thriving here is a testament to you and how you didn't let what happened to you affect the way you live the rest of your life."
I don't know what to say to that, so I say nothing for a minute or two. Before I can really think about it, I ask, "Why is it so important to you? Why are you helping me?"
There's a pause, one of those that's so charged and laden with so much history you can feel it, like it's a living, breathing organism. Wayne looks at Carlisle, Esme looks back and forth between the two, and I watch the three of them.
What the hell?
Carlisle grabs Esme's hand and my stomach drops. The same flash of pain I saw all those months ago when Wayne and I were going to the bank that very first time appears on his face then disappears just as quickly and a chill races up my spine. Whatever the history is between them, it's obvious it's complicated and deep.
Wayne clears his throat a few times. The next words out of his mouth rock my world. "My son was murdered."
Son? Murdered? I didn't even know the man had a kid, let alone had something that horrific happen to him.
He lowers his head and breathes deeply a few times before lifting his eyes to mine. Speaking just those four words has aged the man at least ten years. His shoulders slump and he practically curls in on himself.
I'm at a loss. I have no idea how any of this relates to me or why he's sharing such a personal part of himself with me. Esme wipes beneath her eyes with a flick of her finger and Carlisle … the man looks like he's going to be sick. Jesus Christ, I think. I'm pretty fucking sure I want no part of what's to come, but I asked and it's too late to back out now.
"Zach wasn't a bad kid," Wayne begins out of nowhere. "A typical teenager. He had a smart mouth, thought he knew everything and I knew nothing, and thought he was capable of making his own decisions. My ex-wife and I shared custody of him; we've been divorced since Zach was four. Honestly, we never should've gotten married in the first place and we damn sure had no business bringing a baby into the world together." He snorts and shakes his head, lost in some unknown thought for a moment before he looks back up.
"But Angie and I loved that boy with all we had. We weren't cut out to be husband and wife, but we were able to be friends, good friends, and we raised Zach the best we could. We were doing fine, sharing custody, picking up the slack for each other if we had things come up. Zach was thriving and happy … or as happy as a kid of divorced parents can be I suppose. That all changed about the time Zach turned twelve," he trails off in a shaky voice.
I brace myself and wrap my fingers tightly around the arms of my chair as I wait for Wayne to keep going. I'm still not sure I want to be here, but I can't find it in me to leave either.
"I was a cop before I became a P.O.; did you know that?" he asks me and when I shake my head, dumbfounded because I had no idea, he moves on. "Angie started dating this guy when Zach was about ten, and it was pretty serious right from the get-go. We never let Zach believe we would ever get back together but for some reason when Angie and Derek started dating, he began to act out. Getting in trouble at school, picking fights, his grades fell, he talked back … sound familiar?" He's trying to keep his voice steady, but I can tell it's getting harder. Of course the similarities between Wayne's son and me are obvious, so I nod at him, but don't say anything.
He sighs and then takes a sip of his coffee. My eyes dart toward Esme and Carlisle who are still holding hands. Carlisle's thumb continues to make circles on the back of Esme's hand. Their backs are rigid, neither of them taking their eyes off Wayne. The hair on the back of my neck rises; I know that what's coming next isn't going to be pretty.
"It was when Angie announced she and Derek were getting married that things got really bad. He got expelled from school for fighting, he was sneaking out at night, he was out of control. We sent him to counselors, we tried to talk to him and explain that just because Angie was getting married to someone else didn't mean she didn't love him, but he wouldn't listen. He was mad at her for leaving him, he was mad at me for working all the time, he was just … so angry all the time. Angie even told him she wouldn't marry Derek if it upset him so badly, but I wouldn't let her do that. Instead, I quit the force and became a P.O., thinking a job with more normal hours and less danger would make Zach feel better. Carlisle can tell you, I was a fucking mess. I had an ex-wife getting married to someone else, a kid that was out of control, and a new job that wasn't a walk in the park." He scoffs and looks at Carlisle who nods back with a knowing grin.
"I've never seen a man try so hard to do so much," Carlisle replies without pause while Esme nods enthusiastically beside him.
Wayne waves away the compliment saying, "Well, it wasn't enough, was it?" His voice is so bitter. It surprises me how angry he is after all this time and I wonder, shocked, if that's how I sound when I talk about what happened with my grandfather and Aleksei. I have a feeling it is.
Before I can ponder that too long, Wayne is talking again. "Zach got progressively worse, more out of control every day. He was skipping school, hanging out, getting drunk and high all the time. Do you have any idea what it's like to have guys you used to work with, ones who used to respect you, have to call you up to come pick up your kid because he was caught with drugs?" The question is rhetorical, or at least I assume it is, so I don't answer him when he looks at me with so much pain and anger in his eyes it makes me sit back in my chair.
"By the time he was fifteen, I was out of options. Nothing worked. No matter how much I yelled or talked, or tried to be nice, Zach was out of my reach. I called Carlisle and begged him to try to help him," he trails off and then Carlisle picks up the story.
"I got Zach enrolled in a drug rehab program at Mass General, and we began therapy. It was incredibly slow going, Zach was so angry and so resistant, but finally once he came off the drugs, and we began talking, he seemed to get better," Carlisle says slowly.
"Seemed?"
That one word seems to carry so much because the three of them literally fold in on themselves, like an inflatable beach ball that gets a hole in it and collapses.
"Zach did what he needed to do, said the right things he needed to say in order to make it through the program and be released, then he went right back to the drugs before the ink was even dry on his discharge papers," Wayne bites out. "He didn't even try to stay clean. He'd get in trouble, I'd call Carlisle, and we'd start the process over and over again until finally Zach decided he was done even trying to pretend. He disappeared; no one could find him. You would think with my connections on the force someone would have spotted him somewhere, but it was like he was a ghost." His voice is far away, and filled with so much pain.
It hits me square in the chest though, and my head swims. My God, what I must have put my grandfather through, I think, hating myself so much in that instant. The worry, the sense of helplessness he must have felt when I disappeared with Aleksei for days at a time, not caring that he was at home waiting for me, for just one indication that I was okay shames me. The sense of anguish I feel just then takes my breath away. What I wouldn't give to be able to see him, tell him how sorry I am for everything I put him through. The need to be able to tell him I loved him and was grateful to him for taking me in, for giving me a home and love and safety is so strong my hands shake.
I don't have time to wallow in my own self-pity though because Wayne's voice, barely above a whisper, floats through the air like the smoke from the fire. "When he was found, it was too late. He was dead, murdered because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time." With those words, he pins me with a gaze so intense I can't move if I try. "Some gang banger drug dealer felt like he got short-changed from a drug deal and decided to show his displeasure. He killed three other people besides Zach, all over a measly hundred bucks or some such shit."
Esme's soft sniffles and stuttered breaths mix with Carlisle's quiet murmurs as he tries to console her. Wayne sits, frozen, lost in memories too painful for mere offers of condolences. What the hell do you say to that? I'm sorry seems so woefully inadequate.
"When I came across your case, Edward, there wasn't a force that would stop me from trying to help you. I failed my son. I couldn't keep him from being at the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong people, but I could damn sure make sure that you got the second chance you deserve. There are some really shitty people in the world that get away doing the wrong thing and there are people that get punished for doing the right ones. Jack Burleson hasn't ever forgotten what you did for him and his family; that's why he gave you that money. He never stopped trying to plead your case to anyone that would listen, and being who he is, the right people heard him.
"The law is pretty fucking black and white," he tells me and the passion in his voice takes me by surprise. "You do something wrong, you get punished, but there are always cases that come up where the circumstances don't fit into some box, cases like yours. You did force your way into a house with a man that had a loaded gun. You were there when someone was shot in cold blood. The fact that you didn't know what was going to happen or that you didn't mean for anyone to get hurt is irrelevant. Ryan was up against the wall, considering he was not only fighting an over-ambitious Assistant DA when it came time for your trial, but the public outcry over one of Boston's most beloved and well-known public figures getting shot in his own house stacked the deck against you from the very beginning. You were lucky, so damn lucky, that Mr. Burleson was adamant that you were given the lightest sentence you could receive. I know it didn't seem that way at the time, hell it still probably doesn't seem that way, but it's true."
I let those facts tumble around in my mind, disjointed and separate like links of a chain, until they stop and come together. I don't have time to ponder that fact though before he starts again. "You're also lucky you were arrested," he tells me, looking me straight in the eye. I want to ask him if he's fucking nuts. I want to scream at him and ask if he has any idea the hell I went through when I was locked up, or if he can even comprehend what it felt like to be treated as something less than human, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week for seven fucking years. I can't though, because he says, "Think about it, Edward. If you would have run out of that house with Aleksei, what would the next step have been? Would the gun be in your hands the next time? What about the drug dealing and the illegal guns? How long would it have been before you succumbed and started using the drugs you inevitably would have sold? How long would it have been before you were forced into a situation where it was you killing someone or being killed yourself? How long would it have been before you lost yourself completely?"
Silence.
For long moments there is nothing but stark, deafening silence. I don't hear the wind; I don't hear the snap and crackle of the fire as it burns. I don't even hear the sound of Carlisle's next door neighbor as he pulls into his driveway and shuts his car door after he gets out of it. There's nothing as his words churn in my mind, buzzing like a swarm of angry bees.
I look at him then to Carlisle. Carlisle has tried to say the same thing to me, though not anywhere near as bluntly, and I've always just dismissed the sentiment … until now. Hearing it from Wayne drives the point home, so harshly, that there's not any way to dispute him. I was headed down a path of destruction, even though I continually tried to tell myself I wasn't. I was already getting high and spending more time drunk than sober. It was only a matter of time before the weed turned to something else - coke, heroin, something, and by that point, my death warrant would have been sealed. I didn't want to live, I realize with sudden clarity. The thought makes me sick, and I wretch painfully, bile burning my throat.
I hang my head between my legs and try to catch my breath, try to calm down. Wayne stands up and waits for me to look up at him. "Getting arrested gave you the chance to set your life back on track, Edward. I know it was difficult. I know things happened behind those walls that will haunt you until the day you die, but you survived. Hell, you became a lawyer for fuck's sake. You paid your dues, and you deserved a second chance. Seeing you with Carlisle and Esme, hearing about how well you're doing working for Charlie, watching you with Peyton and Bella is why I helped you, Edward. No man that can have that little girl look at him like he walks on water, or have that woman look at him with so much love in her eyes you can feel it, is unworthy of a second chance. Make your life what you want it to be, kid. Fill it with the people you want to be around and leave the past where it belongs. You made a mistake, you paid the price for it, now it's time to live … to be happy. My son never got that chance but you do. Don't waste it."
With that he's gone before I can even form a word. I hear his footsteps as he climbs up the stairs of the deck and I flinch when he shuts the door behind him as he enters the house. The door doesn't slam, but it might as well have. Esme turns to Carlisle who gives her a slight nod and whispers, "Go check on him. I'll be right in."
She stands, stopping to kiss the top of my head as she passes by. "You're a good man, Edward. I'm so happy he sent you to us," is all she says before she, too, goes inside. The words are enough to make it difficult to breathe, though not because of panic or anything, but because I'm so floored I don't know what to think.
I lift my head and stare at Carlisle. "Wayne has never been the same since Zach died. I'm not sure he'll ever get over the fact that he lost his only child, and so senselessly at that. He's good at his job, he's helped a lot of people trying to make up for not being able to help his own son, but he's never once tried as hard as he has with you. When he called and asked for my help, after I'd failed him so horribly with Zach, I agreed immediately. How could I refuse?" he asks with a sad shake of his head.
"I stopped practicing shortly after Zach died; I just couldn't do it anymore," he tells me as he stares at something over my shoulder. "I loved that kid like he was my own; I was there when he was born, and I was devastated and felt so damned guilty that I wasn't able to save him. The doctor in me knows it wasn't my fault, but the man, the best friend of Wayne's, can't help but wish I'd tried just one more time, or tried harder to reach Zach.
"When you got here, I'll admit I was worried. You were so angry, so bitter, and so fucking alone it practically radiated off you in waves. But then you met a little girl, you met her mother, and then you put yourself out there to ask for a job from a man that makes grown men shake in their boots with just one look. I put in a good word for you with Charlie, based on Wayne's recommendation alone, but you know as well as I do, no one makes Charlie Swan do anything he doesn't want to do unless you're Renée, Bella, or Peyton." We share a chuckle at that because that's the God's honest truth if I've ever heard it.
"I've watched you struggle to come to terms with what's happened to you, with the things you've done and were done to you. I've watched you grieve for your grandfather and fall in love with two of the most special people I've ever met. Things haven't been easy, Edward, but you're trying. Don't let one mistake keep you tethered to the past. Let it go, set it free, and move on," he finishes. He takes a deep breath and I do the same.
So many thoughts and profound realizations make me feel like I've just swam for miles. My whole body aches. My arms and legs are so heavy I'm not sure I can lift them. I'm fucking exhausted.
I want Bella.
Thinking her name instantly cuts through all the dark and I feel my heart swell with love for her.
I love her and Peyton so much it hurts, more than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone. I'm still not sure I deserve either one of them, but I won't live without them either. Realizing how lucky I am to be here in the first place makes me want to keep them close and never let go.
"Thank you," I choke out, the words truer than any I've ever spoken, except for telling Bella and Peyton I love them. Two simple words that mean so much … for taking a chance on me, for wanting to help a friend, for having faith in me … for everything he and Wayne both have done for me.
"Seeing you with Bella and Peyton is all the thanks Wayne and I need, Edward. Someday, you might find yourself in a position to help someone and you'll remember what it was like when someone gave you a chance." He stops speaking and gives us both a chance to regroup.
The intensity of the past hour fades just a bit when he chuckles and slaps me on the shoulder. "Call your girl so you can make some of those inappropriate noises Seth and I like to talk about behind your back. You'll feel better."
He walks into the house, muttering something about wishing the house had thicker walls, and leaves me alone in the backyard. I make a concerted effort not to think about his comment and what he and Seth might talk about; the possibilities are fucking scary.
"Holy shit," I breathe out when I hear the back door shut. I pinch the bridge of my nose and will myself to relax. Never in my wildest imagination would I have ever expected to learn everything I did tonight.
I lean back in the chair, hanging my head over the back and pull my phone out of my pocket. For someone that swore up and down he'd never have a use for a cell phone, I've become quite attached like everyone else in America. I've gotten so good at using it, I dial Bella's number without even looking, instead I keep my eyes firmly glued to the inky sky that's sprinkled with glittering stars above me.
"Edward," she answers with a sigh and I swear it's like I can feel her breath wash over me the instant I hear her voice.
My whole body melts like butter and I grip the phone tighter in my hand. "Hey, baby."
I can hear rustling on the other end of the phone and I glance down at my watch. "Shit, I didn't mean to call so late. You're in bed already, aren't you?"
It's a little past eleven, and an hour past the time she usually turns in for the night. Six A.M. comes damn early for her, even though when she wakes up, I've already been up for close to two hours most mornings. My late night is going to wreak havoc on me tomorrow, there's no doubt about that, but I don't give a damn. I need Bella. Sleep can't compare to that.
"I am, but I'm up now. Did you have a good night? How was your visit with Wayne? Was he happy to see you? He seemed happy to see you at The Breakers. Did you talk about me and Peyton?" she rambles, even though she yawns at the same time.
She kills me. She's so fucking adorable sometimes. I hear more rustling and I'm positive if I could see her now, she'd be sitting up and her knees would be pulled up beneath her chin. I can even picture her wiggling her toes … the polish this week is hot pink; it was Peyton's turn to pick. I know she'll rest her cheek on her knees and without a doubt, she'll tuck a strand of hair behind her ear while she sits. I'm not sure if she's wearing one of the few t-shirts I've left over there or one of her own, but I know that's all she has on, besides a pair of panties that I know make her ass look spectacular.
"I love you," I whisper, completely undone by everything I'm feeling right this second. The fact that I know what color nail polish she has on her toes and how she's sitting tells me like nothing else can how totally she's consumed every part of me. I've never been one to say I love you very often, even less so after my grandmother died, but if I could say those three words all day, every day to Bella and Peyton, I still don't think I'd get tired of saying them.
"I love you, too. What's wrong?" she asks, picking up on the slight panic I have in my voice.
I sigh and shift a bit in the chair, still looking up to the sky. I find the Big Dipper overhead and smile. Peyton gets so excited when she can find it without anyone helping her. She's so amazing, so perfect, and it scares the living shit out of me to think that something … or someone from my past could hurt her in any way. "I'm not … I mean … you don't think … you're not ever sorry you let me be a part of yours and Peyton's life are you?" I squeeze my eyes closed and my stomach twists itself into a knot.
"Edward, no! No!" she cries out. "What's going on? Why did you ask me that?"
I don't say anything - I can't. The lump in my throat is the size of a grapefruit and my tongue feels like it's made out of sandpaper.
When the silence stretches, she begs again in a voice that is full of nothing but love for me. "Babe, talk to me, tell me what's going on."
I sit up straight and tell her everything, from what I told Wayne about her and Peyton, to everything Wayne told me about Zach. I tell her what Wayne told me about why he helped me, what he said about me getting arrested, and how Carlisle tried to help Zach, but couldn't. I tell her about the panic attack I had just from thinking about Aleksei being out there somewhere, and what it would do to me if him or anyone else ever hurt her or Peyton because of me. I don't stop talking until I've told her everything, and she never interrupts, never tries to tell me not to worry or that I shouldn't feel what I'm feeling; she just lets me talk until I'm all talked out.
"Oh, Edward," she whispers. I hear a muffled sniff and I chuckle, because I know she tried to cover up the phone so I wouldn't hear her.
I don't handle tears from Bella any better than I do from Peyton. Not at all.
"I heard that," I tell her. I want to hold her. I want to look into her eyes, run my fingers through her hair, and then I want to kiss her until I'm dizzy.
She giggles and I know everything is okay. "Shut up. It's not my fault you're scared of girls crying. Some big, tough, motorcycle-riding, tattooed, felon you are."
I try to not laugh at her, because really, she just called me a felon, but she's too hard to resist. "You are so amazing." I sigh, once I stop laughing. I feel a hundred times better and loads lighter, too.
"You're not a label, Edward. You're the man I love and the one my daughter thinks is her very own personal hero. I know what you heard tonight wasn't easy, but there's not anyone out there that deserves the second chance you were given more than you," she tells me in a strong, fervent voice.
She yawns again which makes me yawn, too. It's so late and I'm fucking spent. "Well, your dad is going to tell me I deserve to get my ass kicked if I'm late for work, so I'd better let you go." I hate telling her goodbye, so fucking much. I lower my voice, even though it's not like anyone can hear me but her. "I'm sorry for freaking out on you. I still get overwhelmed sometimes, you know? I just worry about not being what you and Peyton need is all."
I can feel her eyes roll through the phone at that, but her voice is gentle when she answers back, "We need you, just as you are. Nothing else."
Her words are the balm to every worry I have. "Get some rest, baby. It's late. Sweet dreams only, okay?"
"Okay. I love you."
"Ah, Bella, I love you, too. Good night."
I make my way inside as soon as she hangs up the phone. Carlisle, Esme, and Wayne have all gone to bed and I check to make sure all the doors are locked. It doesn't take any time at all to get undressed and crawl into bed. I fall asleep thinking about my date with my best friend … and wishing that someday soon, there won't be a need for good night phone calls because I'll be able to say them in person every night.
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
Four and a half hours of sleep is not enough to make Edward a happy camper I realize about mid-morning. Between the glaring sun, Emmett's exuberance for the coming weekend, and then finding out from Charlie that we're heading out on Monday for three days, it feels like the end of the day will never get here.
Of course at the end of the day, I have a date with my favorite seven-year-old. That puts a smile on my face, one that doesn't go unnoticed by Jasper.
"What is that goofy ass grin for?" he asks me as we pull a trap up.
We go through the motions of checking if the lobsters are male or female, putting a v-notch in the females before throwing them back into the water, putting the bands around the males' claws, and then throwing them into the hold. The flow of movement has become like second nature after all these months and as each day passes, I fall in love with being on the water more and more.
Jasper and I work quietly, like always. Since everyone found out about my past, Emmett has been helping Charlie in the wheelhouse more, taking on more of the duties of deciding where to fish, and pouring over maps and weather patterns. It's made things on the boat much less stressful for sure. Emmett and I are back to like it was before, but that doesn't mean I still don't worry from time to time I'm going to find Emmett standing behind me, ready to knock my ass overboard.
My mind wanders for just a second to tonight and I feel a sharp pinch. "Fuck!"
I scowl at the lobster, and ignore Jasper's snickering. "Take that, you little fucker." I laugh as I toss it into the hold, delighting a little more than necessary that the offending creature will soon be in a boiling pot of water.
"Sprite and I have a date tonight," I finally answer him once we get a rhythm going again.
"No wonder you look like a kid on Christmas morning," he teases. We continue to work and then he says a bit hesitantly, "I hear Carlisle and Esme have company in town from Boston. Everything okay?"
I sigh but nod at him. This is Jasper being Jasper - subtle, but letting you know he's knows what's up without coming right out and saying it. "It freaked me out at first when Wayne showed up, but he's just here for the races. We had uh …" I pause and look at him, "a really good talk last night."
He raises his eyebrow and cocks his head to the side, but remains silent. He knows I'll tell him what's going on. I always do. Bella talks to Xavier and Rose, I talk to Jasper and Alice when there are things I need to work out or when things are bothering me. I've never had friends before, at least not the kind you can tell anything to and know they won't judge you … until now.
I tell him, briefly, about some of the revelations from last night, focusing more on me than on divulging any of Wayne's personal information. I know he won't mind me telling Bella, he had to know I'd tell her, but I'm not about to share his story with anyone else. I do tell him about Aleksei, though, just like I told Bella. The fact that he's out there somewhere isn't something I want to dwell on, but I don't want to dismiss it either. I'd never do anything to jeopardize Bella and Peyton's safety and I'm not going to hide the fact that a small part of me is worried about him even after all this time.
"All you can do is live your life, Ed," he tells me. "We're all here for you guys, you know? I agree with Wayne; I don't think you have anything to worry about."
I open my mouth but he holds up a hand to stop me. "Just be happy, man. Things get overwhelming for you sometimes, but you know you deserve to be with Bella and Peyton. Besides, you've ruined P for the rest of us. It's not like any of us can compare to the great and wonderful Edward anymore. It's kind of sickening if you want to know the truth," he teases and I laugh.
Thankfully the rest of the day goes by quicker than the morning and before I know it, I'm holding my hands out in The Breakers for the keys to Cherry so Peyton and I can head out. I'd rushed back to the boarding house and taken the world's quickest shower, thankful I had a few extra minutes to take care of business. It's been days since the last time Bella and I have made love and I'm dying to be honest. Talking on the phone and making the noises Carlisle and Seth love to tease me about and the hot and heavy make out sessions at her house at night before I leave to go home are all fine and dandy, but truly there's nothing that can compare to the feel of being inside of Bella.
Dirty, sexy words whispered in the dark over the phone, quick touches that do little more than set me on fire are hot as hell, but making love to Bella is in a whole different realm.
Hopefully, sometime over the weekend, I'll get to remember just how good it is.
"Bella, come on. Just hand the keys over," I whine, holding my hand out.
She giggles and shakes her head, closing her hand around the keys and steps backward. "Hmmm, I think I need you and Peyton to help tonight. You don't mind, do you?" She tries, she really does, to pout, even going so far as to bite her bottom lip and looks up at me with eyes that are anything but innocent, but she fails miserably when I smirk at her.
I'd almost believe she's serious if I didn't already see Peyton and know she's dressed up more than normal. She's wearing the cutest pair of pants and top with sparkles on it and I can't help but feel pretty fucking special that she dressed up for me.
Now if I can just get her mother to hand over the damn keys …
"Whatever, baby. Sprite's dressed to the nines … she didn't do that to hang around the restaurant all night. Besides, I'll make it worth your while. If you hand over the keys, I promise to do that thing you love so much," I lower my voice and step closer.
I reach out and let the tip of my finger ghost up the side of her arm. I chuckle darkly when I see the fine hair stand on end and groan lowly in the back of my throat when I see her nipples harden beneath her shirt. Today she's wearing a black t-shirt that's tight enough to hug every curve and dip of her chest and the tiniest pair of white shorts I've ever seen. They make her ass look spectacular and her legs, Jesus, I can't even begin to describe how good they look.
Tan and smooth, and hopefully they're wrapped around my waist at some point in time in the future. I shift a bit, my cock trying to push its way out of my jeans and make its presence known, and we both hope it's in the very near future.
I wrap a hand around her neck and rub circles over her pulse point. I pull her closer to me, so close she can most definitely feel how much being this close turns me on. Lowering my head so that my lips are right next to her ear, I whisper, "You know what thing I'm talking about, Bella, the one where I use my tongue and my fingers at the same time."
She squeaks and that turns to a moan when I flick my tongue out at her earlobe. I'm a masochist so I let my nose run up the shell of her ear and then let my tongue tease the silver ball at the top of her ear. Christ Almighty, what that damned earring does to me. I'll never understand why I think it's the sexiest fucking thing ever, but I know if she ever takes it out, I'll cry.
Like literally, throw myself on the floor and have a tantrum, cry.
Because I'm an ass, I pluck the keys out of her hand. She's too focused on my mouth to realize what I did until I step back, and smile at her with a shit-eating grin firmly plastered on my face.
"You suck."
I nod. I mean it's not like I can disagree, but a guy's got to do what a guy's got to do. And like I've made perfectly clear, pissed off Bella is ten shades of sexy.
I kiss her sweetly on the cheek, but stay far enough away so she can't try to take the keys back. "And you love me. P and I will be back in a few hours. Do you need anything while I'm out?" I ask, hoping to get back on her good side because I really, really want to see every side of her this weekend - the front, the back, and most especially being inside of her.
"No, but thank you for asking. You two have fun," she tells me and I can't help but kiss her again.
"P, let's roll. I'm ready for some ice cream," I holler, spinning the keys around my finger as I head toward the back door.
She runs to my side and places her tiny hand in mine. I melt. "Me, too. Let's go on our date." She turns and waves at Bella and with one more smile and plea to be careful, me and my girl are off.
"Stop looking at me like that; you know you can't sit in the front." I wink at Peyton as she climbs in the backseat with a huff and scowl. I'm a pushover, everyone knows this, but not when it comes to her safety … and she knows it, too.
The ride is full of nonstop conversation as she tells me all about the festival this weekend. "It's so cool, Edward, wait 'til you see. The boats go so fast … do you think Pop would ever let me drive his boat that fast?" she asks as she bounces in her seat and her slate blue eyes glisten with unbridled glee.
My fingers grip the steering wheel so hard I'm sure I'll leave indentations as I picture Peyton racing over the water, leaving a trail of frothy white waves in her wake.
Oh, hell no.
"I don't think the Isabella Marie goes that fast, P." God, please tell me it doesn't go that fast.
I watch her in the rear view mirror and can't help but smile as she taps her chin. There is a dip between her eyebrows and her nose is scrunched up as she thinks for a few seconds. She lifts her eyes to me and they sparkle with untold mischief. Oh, shit.
I know that look … I am terrified of that look. Nothing good ever comes from that look.
"I know!" she exclaims happily, like she's just figured out how to convince Bella to let her have chocolate for breakfast every morning. "I'll drive Uncle Emmett's boat!"
A litany of words I'd never say out loud, at least not where Peyton can hear them, floods my mind but I take a deep breath and decidedly changed the subject. I vow to never, ever let Peyton anywhere near Emmett's boat.
The rest of the ride passes quickly and before I know it, we're in Bar Harbor.
The sun is just beginning to set, streaks of pink mix with fluffy white clouds. The air is getting cooler but thankfully Bella sent Peyton with a light sweater. I find a place to park, and I grin as I turn the truck off. I'm about to add a few more reasons why I'm Peyton's favorite person … just in case I ever need them.
"We're going to the book store, too?" she asks as I help her out of the backseat.
"Yes, ma'am."
We make our way inside the bookstore and Peyton takes off for the children's section without even looking back. I wander around, smiling as I picture Bella looking at all the books. I can vividly imagine her smiling when she spies a book she likes, or scrunching up her nose at the genres she doesn't like … mostly Science Fiction. She'd hold a book, enjoying the way it smells. I love that she's passed on her love of reading to Peyton, and I really love watching them spend quiet time together reading. I keep walking, and make sure Peyton is fine.
After a bit, I make my way through the shop and find Peyton curled up on a chair with a book in her lap. "You found something you want to get?" I ask as I squat down beside her.
She nods and asks quietly, "Can I get both of these?" She holds a book in each hand, and I notice they are part of a series she has at home.
Smiling, I stand up and hold my hand out. "Of course, sweetheart. Anything else you want to look at?" We've been here about an hour already and the sky is dark outside. The gas lamps along the sidewalk are on and I want to walk with her for a little bit before we get our ice cream.
She shakes her head and we make our way to the front counter. An elderly lady, complete with glasses that hang on a chain around her neck and frizzy, curly white hair stands behind the cash register and smiles at us as we approach. Peyton is talking a mile a minute about her books, telling me character names and odds and ends about the stories while we walk.
"Ah, I love to see a young one so in love with reading," the woman says.
Peyton hands the books to her and says, "My mom and I love to read. We take turns picking a book every night before bed."
The woman puts the books in a bag and drops in a bookmark along with them with a wink at Peyton. "And you, Dad, do you love to read, too?"
The question makes my heart stop and my chin drop to the floor. I swallow and try to answer her, but Peyton beats me to it. "Edward's not my dad, he's my best friend," she says simply. She turns to look at me and tips her head. Gasping, she looks back and forth between me and the woman. "If you and Mom get married, you'd be my dad and my best friend! How cool would that be? Edward, wouldn't that be awesome?"
I want to die. Or disappear. Or cry. Or maybe just turn back time and forget about the past two minutes.
I cough a few times and try to clear my throat, though there is no chance in hell I'm touching that comment, not even if I had a ten foot pole. Holy shit.
The woman snickers and turns her head, trying to be nice and not laugh in my face. I'm sure she's dying to see how I get myself out of this so I say the only thing I can. "I'm ready for ice cream. I'll even let you get a double scoop."
Peyton grabs my hand and starts pulling me toward the door. As I pass the counter, the woman whispers, "Nice save."
I nod and smile even though my heart still hasn't started beating yet.
After much deliberation, Peyton decides on cake batter ice cream with sprinkles and I stick with mint chocolate chip. I mean, why mess with perfection? We take our cones, complete with double scoops, and walk down the sidewalk. Thankfully, Peyton is too focused on not letting a drop of ice cream drip off the side of her cone to continue the conversation from the bookstore.
We find a bench and sit. Peyton's little tongue darts out and she swirls it all through the cone. When she hears me laugh at her, she turns, and licks her lips. "Thanks for bringing me for ice cream. This is so much better than helping Mom," she says with a giggle. Her feet swing back and forth and she hums happily as she eats. She shakes her feet, letting her flip-flops dangle as she swings her legs. As a guy, I have no idea how she can do that; it's kind of amazing.
"Well, thanks for coming on a date with me."
"It was my pleasure," she answers and tries to keep a straight face. It only lasts a few seconds before she's laughing so hard she bends over.
I adore the fact that she can be so silly, even when she's laughing at herself.
"Are you spending the night?" she asks after she calms down.
The change of subject is so abrupt, and takes me so totally by surprise, I almost drop my cone. "Um … well, I … " I stammer.
How she can turn me into a bumbling doofus at the drop of a hat is beyond me. It's kind of ridiculous actually. She rolls her eyes. "I know when I go stay at Nana's and Pop's or with Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose you stay with Mom. I'm not a baby, Edward. I know lots of things," she tells me, and again my mouth hangs open.
I shove the last bite of my ice cream cone in my mouth and wipe my hands nervously on my jeans. "Does it bother you if I stay there?" I ask. I don't want to upset Bella by talking about this with Peyton without her here, but I don't want to ignore her question either.
"Um no. Why would it? I love you. Mom loves you. I think you should stay with us every day," she says with a shrug of her little shoulders.
Ah, the world according to Peyton Renée Swan. I think my new motto is … It's her world, we all just live in it.
"I'm not sure your mom thinks that's such a good idea, P."
She huffs and holds her hand out. "Can I see your phone?" Of course being the idiot I am, I hand it to her. Her fingers tap on the screen and the next thing I hear is, "Mom, can Edward spend the night with us tonight? We're gonna see him first thing tomorrow morning anyway so we can go to the festival."
My eyes widen and I try to take the phone away from Peyton, but she giggles and turns away. When I try again, she stands up and laughs, saying, "Uh huh" and then "yes, I know," followed by, "two books and an ice cream cone." Another roll of her eyes. "Yep, double scoops and sprinkles."
Shit, I'm in so much trouble. Again.
Bella told me before I left only one scoop of ice cream and no sprinkles. Really, she should know better by now. I have no willpower when it comes to ice cream … never mind Peyton and ice cream.
I scowl at the little hellion, who only giggles again. "Mom wants to talk to you," she singsongs before skipping off to look in the Christmas Shop window.
"Hey, baby," I say slowly, cringing as I prepare for the worst.
Instead, there's a soft laugh on the other end of the phone. "Edward Anthony Masen, you are such a sucker, I swear."
"It was a small scoop, Bella, I promise. And there were really weren't that many sprinkles."
"Right, and I bet you didn't even try to tell her no, did you? All she has to do is look at you and you're gone." Her voice is happy, thank goodness.
I sigh as I watch Peyton look at the display in the window. Christmas means presents … I'm in so much trouble. "I am," I admit freely. "I just want to make her happy."
"I know. It's one of the reasons I love you so much," she answers back softly. "Now, let me go so I can get home. Apparently, I'm having company tonight. I have things to do," she says. The tone of her voice has changed. Gone is teasing, sweet Bella and out comes sexy as hell Bella.
Cue the hard-on.
"I swear I didn't tell her to call and ask you that. It's okay isn't it?" I ask as I try to keep myself from getting too excited before I get a green light.
"It is. In fact, stay the whole weekend with us."
Holy shit, three whole days with both my girls.
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
0 comments:
Post a Comment