~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~~
Chapter 17 - Butterflies
BPOV
I shouldn't laugh. I shouldn't laugh. I really, really shouldn't laugh.
I chant this over and over and over in my head as I watch Edward and Phil size each other up, hands glued together, neither one willing to be the first to break eye contact. It's funny - I can't really tell who's more intimidated. It's about fifty/fifty at this point. Phil is the adult so you'd think he'd have the advantage, and certainly the fact that he's a world-famous MLB pitcher doesn't hurt, but he's been just as nervous about meeting Edward as Edward has been about meeting him.
Men.
Of course Phil's never really had to do the whole 'meet the boyfriend' thing. The few dates I went on in Phoenix, Mom was the meeter and greeter since Phil was usually on the road or at practice and there weren't that many dates in the first place. There's certainly never been anyone as important as Edward … nor one who knows so much about everything. I guess that's reason enough for Phil to be a little wary, but he really doesn't need to be. Edward wasn't Phil's biggest fan in the beginning, but as the relationship between me and Phil has gotten better, Edward's opinion of him has changed as well.
Phil, on the other hand, has been rather closed-lipped about Edward. Oh, he seems truly happy that Edward and I are together, but he's kept anything more than just casual questions and comments to himself.
This dinner should be very interesting.
At first I couldn't decide if I should ask Dr. and Mrs. Cullen to dinner as well. I know Phil and Dr. C are acquainted with each other already, so it probably wouldn't be all that weird to have them here, but for this first time, I'd rather it just be Edward with Phil and me. Maggie's been conspicuously scarce since she finished making dinner, making some lame excuse about eating in her room so she could paint her nails. Funny thing that, Mag never paints her nails … like never, ever. I know she's giving Phil and Edward some time to get to know each other, but I suspect that will only last so long.
I can't get over how different I feel about this dinner than the one where I met Edward's parents for the first time. I'm not nervous at all. I've been looking forward to this day for a long time, certainly since Phil's visit in the summer. It doesn't amuse Edward in the least that I just roll my eyes and giggle whenever he goes off on a Phil tangent … he's done a lot of that lately. He goes back and forth between acting like a fan and being protective of me. I think it has more to do with all the other things going on with him than Phil specifically, but looking at the way he's standing, straight as a board, shoulders back and staring Phil directly in the eye, maybe I've been wrong.
Hmmm. That will definitely be a topic of conversation later.
"Well, now, Edward, it's good to meet you, too. Bella's certainly been singing your praises for a while. It's nice to put a face with the name," Phil says breezily, though I can see the corners of his mouth pinch and his eyes narrow ever so slightly as Edward lets go of my hand and wraps an arm around my waist.
It could be because Edward's hands are so big that when he spreads his fingers like he is now, on purpose, I'm quite sure, they almost reach the bottom of my boob. In fact, when Edward pulls me closer and Phil's eyebrows shoot up almost to his hairline, I figure it's time to deflect.
"Okay, Mags has dinner ready, so let's go ahead and eat before we ruin her famous smothered pork chops by letting them get cold." I look from one frozen statue to the other and flick a quick peek to make sure there's not a puddle of drool on the floor beneath their slack jaws.
Nope, but if I wait much longer to get the two of them to the table there will be.
Laughing, I glance at Phil. "What did you think that smell was? You've had Maggie's cooking plenty of times."
He shrugs, looking every bit as calm and casual as he always does in a well-worn pair of jeans and a loose t-shirt. He's tired though, I can tell; he has circles under his eyes and his skin's the color of the ashy gray rain clouds that move in every afternoon. Fall is definitely the rainy season in the Forks. I don't mind the rain, though you'd think I would, considering I spent so many years in the sunny, dry heat of Phoenix. The dreary weather could easily wreak havoc on my psyche, making it easy to dwell and wallow, but my friends would never let me do that.
Neither would Edward.
"Hey, baby, do you want me to get the plates and the glasses?" Edward asks without waiting for an answer.
He bustles around the kitchen going straight toward the correct cabinets that house the dishes. I ignore Phil's silent question, rolling my eyes as I carry the casserole dish to the table. Edward follows with the plates and silverware, while I turn back to get the iced tea and water pitchers out of the fridge. We move seamlessly, like we've eaten countless meals together instead of just a handful. Ever since my birthday, he comes over here for dinner one or two times a week, which thrills Maggie to no end. She gets almost as excited when Rose, Alice, and Angela come over to study - well it's more like gossip - but still, the house feels a lot more like a home than I ever imagined it could four short months ago.
So much has changed, but as the three of us sit, it hits me that not quite everything has changed when there is a starkly empty chair next to Phil.
"So, Edward, tell me a bit about your soccer. Bella tells me you're going to be traveling over the holidays. Where are you headed?" Phil asks as he pours everyone a drink before sitting down.
Edward flashes me a worried look, swallows, sits up straight, then answers Phil. "California. My ODP team is playing in a tournament in San Diego. It's supposed to be one of the biggest tournaments of the year, so I'm really excited about getting to play some new teams and there will be college coaches there from all over the country, too. It kinda sucks that I'll be gone over New Years, but it's not like I can say no." I wait for it … and then, "Oh, shit, I mean, ah … oh, God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that."
I hold my hand over my mouth. I try not to giggle, which of course only makes me laugh harder. Phil's grin is a mile wide and poor Edward is the color of a tomato.
"Edward, relax." Phil chuckles and surreptitiously wipes the tears from below his eyes. "I play ball and spend time with a bunch of guys more than two hundred days a year. I think I can handle a 'suck' and a 'shit' without freaking out."
Edward blows out an embarrassed breath and then laughs. "Sorry," he says with a shrug. "This is definitely not how I wanted to make my first impression."
"Seriously, forget about it. I'd rather see you relaxed enough to let loose than be all uptight. Besides this one," Phil winks in my direction, "needs someone who can keep up with her. She's a feisty thing."
I grin at Phil, enjoying so much that he's here. I know it's hard for him, that he still has difficulty balancing the love he still has for Mom with the need to let go and move on, but the fact he's trying so hard and doing so much to be a part of my life gives me hope that sometime soon I'll be ready to let go as well.
I feel closer every day. It's sad and it still causes deep-seated guilt, but life isn't always fair and I truly have too much to live for to wither away. Not only Mom, but my dad, too, would definitely not want that to happen.
Before I'm able to really follow what's going on because I've sort of spaced out, Edward's and Phil's laughter yanks me back. They are talking like old friends and it warms my heart. I love seeing Edward interacting with Phil, teasing and comfortable. It's everything I wanted. The rest of the dinner passes with easy conversation. Phil's eyes positively light up when Edward mentions Emmett and Jasper and they talk about going to the batting cages in Port Angeles together.
"I'm serious, Phil, the first time Emmett sees you, I bet you twenty bucks the dude passes out within three minutes." Edward looks at me, eyes shining. "Isn't that right, Bella? Em's been talking about meeting Phil since this summer."
I nod and smile at Phil. "He's right. Em's pretty excited about meeting you. Jasper, too. It's made me quite popular, so thanks for that."
Phil's eyes widen and he coughs, choking on a laugh and his words. "What? Oh, Bella, I'm sorry," he says and I can tell that he's unsure if I'm angry or not.
Edward looks from me to to Phil, his mouth pinched tight and eyes narrowed, upset.
I wave it all away. It wouldn't be the first time that someone has tried to get close to Phil through me. Anything that happened back in Phoenix is old news, not important, and watching Emmett and Jasper try to outdo each other to see who gets to meet Phil first is more amusing than anything. Besides, I know they're true friends and it's all done in good fun.
"Hey, Edward," Phil gets Edward's attention. "How about me, you, Emmett, and Jasper hit up the batting cages in Port Angeles sometime soon? Your dad, too, if he can sneak away from the hospital for a few hours."
Edward gulps, but nods enthusiastically, his Jolly Rancher green eyes bright and shining. He leans over and kisses my cheek as if I have something to do with Phil's offer. I take a second and glance at Phil, feeling closer to him than I ever have before. The complete acceptance of the friends and the life I've begun to live here means more than I realized.
"Wow, Phil. That sounds great." Edward beams. "We should go soon, like this weekend. We don't have to go to Seattle for games and I'm pretty sure Dad's off, too."
I listen as they make plans, smiling at how excited they both sound. Every few seconds there's a hand on my knee, or a twirl of my hair around his fingers. Casual, comfortable actions that speak louder than words ever can and when I see a soft, though a bit sad, smile on Phil's face, I know he sees how important Edward is to me and how much I love him.
God, I love him. So much.
Seeing Edward happy and relaxed after the tension of the past few weeks is so nice. I know he's still worried about the things he needs to decide on, and what the right decision is, but we've talked about it a lot; he's talked to Emmett and Jasper, his parents, and I know he'll figure it all out. I watch with an amused smile as Edward describes his last game to Phil, arms waving around and talking a mile a minute like he always does when he gets passionate about something. He talks with his whole body, hands and eyes and heart - sometimes even his legs depending on the topic. I love watching him.
I giggle a little at the thought … and the irony.
Edward snaps his head in my direction and I roll my eyes at myself and get up to begin clearing the table.
"Do you need any help?" Edward asks, standing to do just that.
Phil waits for me to shake my head no and then asks, "Edward, why don't we go get some air before we have dessert?"
I have to smile. I mean, could the man be any more obvious? And funny, the thought of Phil giving Edward the "what are your intentions with my daughter" speech only makes me love him more.
Edward quickly looks at me, surprise and worry fighting for the dominant emotion.
"It'll be fine," I tell him and walk forward to brush a quick kiss on his cheek.
"Bella," he whines and I have to bite my tongue to stop from laughing. He's worried for nothing; he knows this, I know this, even Phil knows this, but it's one of those things that just has to happen.
"Go." I shoo him. "There will be chocolate cake waiting when you come back inside."
"Fine. But I want an extra scoop of ice cream and a glass of chocolate milk, not plain milk if I have to do this," he bargains, like he's about to be sent off to war or something instead of spending a few minutes alone with a man that obviously likes him enough to make plans to take him to the batting cages for the day.
"Just go, you big baby. It's your turn with the parents now. Not so much fun when the shoe's on the other foot, is it?"
I try to keep a straight face, but fail miserably when he smirks at me. "Yeah, like Mom and Dad are real scary."
I watch him turn and walk out the side door. Maggie pokes her head in, a smug grin spread across her face.
"It's safe to come out now, you big meanie, you," I tell her as I get the milk out of the fridge.
"Well, I have to say I would have loved to watch our boy squirm while Phil gave him the third degree, but I figured Edward would have enough to deal with without me adding to it. How'd it go?" she asks as she cuts the cake and sets the pieces on the plates.
I sigh and give her a warm smile. "It was fine, much better than I thought it would be actually."
She scoffs and shakes her head. "I don't know why you were so worried. Anyone with eyes can see how much Edward loves you and how happy he makes you. That's all Phil wants."
"I know," I say quietly. "Having them both here, and you, the house feels so different, don't you think? Like home."
Maggie's hand covers mine and she squeezes it. "I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see you smile like that, to hear you sound so content. Your mom would be so proud of you."
I nod, choking back tears that burn in the corners of my eyes. "I know," I hoarsely whisper.
Phil and Edward aren't gone long, only about twenty minutes, but when they walk back in the door, both smiling and looking relaxed, I know everything is just fine.
Maggie joins us for dessert, and by the time we're done I'm not sure Edward will ever come back to eat with us again. Poor guy. It's a good thing he can take as good as he dishes out because not many would be able to withstand a Maggie/Phil tag team.
"I better get going," Edward says as he stands up. It's late, almost ten o'clock though it really doesn't feel like he's been here for almost four hours. He kisses Maggie on the cheek, making her blush, and he shakes Phil's hand. There's a look that passes between them, one of respect and a common ground, which I suppose is me. Whatever it is, it makes me warm inside and want to kiss Edward until he can't breathe.
He must have the same idea because as soon as we step outside, he drags me to his car and presses me up against it, his whole body against mine. He's hard, everywhere, and his mouth is on mine, his tongue pushing into my mouth. He tastes sweet, like chocolate and sugar, and I groan as he holds me still and grinds his hips against mine.
"Holy shit, I've been dying to do that for hours." He pants, trying to catch his breath. His twists my hair around his fingers and his teeth scrape up and down the side of my neck. He sucks on the spot below my ear and I turn my head, wanting more.
His tongue circles the spot and when the cool night air reaches the wet trail, I shiver. Edward wraps me in his arms and rubs his hands up and down my arms.
"I like Phil," he whispers into my ear. I squeeze him tighter, trying to get closer, because while I knew that just from watching them, hearing the words is so much better.
"That makes me happy."
He nods against my shoulder, then his mouth is on my neck again. Warm breath, then the sting of his teeth. "He loves you, baby. So much. I know that I didn't understand everything in the beginning, how he could leave you here, but I get it now."
"You guys were outside a long time …" I hint, hoping he'll spill the details.
When his mouth covers mine and his tongue sweeps across my bottom lip, I give up the fight. I'd rather kiss him than talk anyway. We spend a hot ten minutes saying goodbye before he finally kisses the tip of my nose and gets into his car. We do have school in the morning, so I know he needs to leave.
"Love you," he says as before he shuts the door. "I'll call you when I get home."
I laugh and roll my eyes at the two of us … he'll be home in less than fifteen minutes, but I nod because I want him to call no matter how ridiculous it is. "Love you, too. Thanks for coming tonight. It meant a lot."
He winks before he turns the car on. "You ask, I'll come. Always. Now get your hot little ass inside, it's cold out here."
I watch him pull away and stand there in the dark once he's gone. A cold breeze makes me wrap my arms around myself and I squeak, startled when Phil's arm is draped across my shoulder. He pulls me close and I lay my head on his shoulder. A few minutes pass, minutes where no words are spoken, but none need to be said. Finally he kisses the top of my head and whispers, "You're gonna be fine, sweetheart. Just fine."
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~~
A few weeks later …
Needing a change of scenery or maybe just a new perspective, I grab my favorite blanket off the end of my bed, my fluffy, silly pen, Edward's notebook, and shuffle toward the living room. Maggie's already turned in for the night, Phil's in Seattle, so the house is as quiet as the inside of a church. The refrigerator hums, the pendulum on the grandfather clock tucked in the corner swishes, chiming every fifteen minutes of the hour. The icy wind rattles through the bare branches outside, the gusts making the trees sway and bend, but inside there's no other sound. I look out the window toward the woods and shiver, pulling the blanket tighter around me. Clouds drift across the silvery white moon and the shadows are almost ominous as they creep along the ground like spindly fingers. Halloween was weeks ago, but all the weather outside needs is spooky music and a haunted house and it'd be the perfect backdrop for a horror movie. I shiver again and move from the window, my thoughts ridiculous, but no less the stuff guaranteed to keep me up all night. I so don't need that tonight.
The hairs on the back of my neck settle as I turn toward the couch. The scent of the pumpkin spice candle that was lit earlier still lingers in the air. There are bowls of fall-scented potpourri - cinnamon, apple, and spices - scattered here and there … Maggie's a big fan of the stuff. A basket of deep red apples sits on the island in the kitchen. Firewood is stacked in a neat bundle beside the fireplace. No matter how frigid it is outside, inside it's warm and safe, comforting, even if it is late at night.
Normally I'd go outside and play my drums, but I'm not in the mood. Not in the mood to dance or read either. I could call Edward, but he's got a big test in Pre-Calc tomorrow and he's been so stressed about it, it's a wonder the guy has any hair left with the way he's been abusing it lately. I glance toward the hallway and Mom's room beyond, but for some reason, one that I don't particularly want to examine at the moment, I don't want to go in there either.
Sighing, I curl up in the corner of the sofa, bringing my knees up below my chin. I glance at my feet - I really need to repaint my toenails, they're looking a little worse for wear. I wrap my arms around my legs and rest my forehead on my knees, feeling just … out of sorts. There's nothing really wrong, nothing that I can put a finger on anyway, but I just can't turn my mind off.
The last few weeks have been chock-full of all kinds of things, but nothing out of the ordinary. Just life. Edward meeting Phil, getting used to having Phil around more, though he still comes and goes pretty regularly due to his post-season MLB obligations now that the season's over. Promotion stuff, meetings with his agent, appearances - the list is enough to make my head swim. I know he's getting close to being done with baseball for good. He's mentioned it in passing a few times and it makes me wonder how exactly things will be when the time comes.
I wrap my arms tighter around my legs at the thought of the future. So much to think about. Edward and I have done a lot of talking about what's going to happen after graduation. It was kind of necessary after his freak out a few weeks before. It was bound to happen sooner or later, and quite honestly, I'm surprised it took that long. I don't blame him for feeling overwhelmed; there's a lot to think about, but every time we talk about it, he seems a little calmer, a little surer of what he wants. I feel better about what might happen after graduation. I know he does, too. Knowing that we'll be together, wherever it will be, makes all the difference in the world.
I'm terrified of leaving Forks … of leaving Mom, but these last few months have taught me that I can't stop living my life just because there has been no change in Mom's condition. Going through life with one foot planted in the past and the other unable to step forward is no way to live. I've learned that.
And, my life is pretty great right now. Good friends who make me laugh and make me feel like I've known them forever instead of just a few months, an amazing boyfriend who I love more than life itself, Maggie and Phil … I have plenty in my life to be be happy about. My necklace dangles and automatically I reach for it, sliding the pendant back and forth along the chain. Butterflies flutter in my stomach as I remember that night and I pick up my notebook to read my letter to Edward.
Hey, Creeper,
I walked by a mirror today, you know the one in the entryway, and the light was shining just so and it caught the reflection off my necklace. I've only had it a few days now and I still can't get used to seeing it on my neck every day. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's so beautiful and I love it so much, but you gave me your heart, Edward. It's just … I can't even put it into words.
You're so much better at this than me, at using words to express yourself, which is totally unfair I'll have you know. You're a better musician than me and a better athlete, you beat me every time we play Call of Duty, and you never get stuck being partners with Heidi in Spanish so you'd think that the universe would somehow give me just one thing I'm better at than you, but no.
Not that I don't love your words, because God knows I do. Written or spoken, whispered or even in a text they always make me do this thing where my breath catches in my throat and it's kind of hard to swallow for a few moments or minutes or maybe even hours. My stomach feels like there are a thousand butterflies flapping their wings, trying to get out, and normally when you whisper in my ear, especially in Spanish class, I get hot all over, but get goosebumps at the same time. I know that's no big secret since I hear you laugh at me every day.
Not even gonna lie, I kinda hate that I can't ever hide what you do to me.
Ugh, I can't believe I'm telling you this … well I guess I can since I tell you everything, but it's not like you need any more reason to keep me constantly turned on. It's embarrassing really, like really really. You should hear the things the other girls ask me in the locker room and for God's sake do not ever, never, ever, EVER tell me what you guys talk about in your locker room. I swear if you do, I'll never make you another sugar cookie … ever again! Just thinking about it makes me wanna throw up. Mike, Alec, and Eric all talking - God, that's wrong on so many levels!
And none of this is what I wanted to say! Why is it that when I sit down to start writing I go off on these ridiculous tangents? I think you put some kind of voodoo spell on our notebooks to make me spill my guts to you. That's it, right? On top of being the most perfect boyfriend ever, now I find out you also possess magical abilities … next thing I know you'll be able to wave your finger around and go 'presto strippo' and my clothes will just simply disappear. You know you'd so do it if you could!
What this whole rambling, nonsensical mess is supposed to be telling you is that my birthday was beyond amazing, beyond anything I could have ever planned or thought of, and beyond perfect … (and don't let this go to your head!) just like you. Even days later, and I can still feel what it was like to play with you, to hear you, to share those moments with you. I remember the way you sounded, the way we sounded together, and the way it felt when you played and sang just for me. I wish I could bottle the whole day up and somehow be able to plunge myself right back into the most incredible experience of my whole life.
I love you, Edward. Today, tomorrow … always!
Yours,
DG
I sigh and smile. The night was one I'll never forget. I read through a few more entries, just needing to feel connected to Edward. As I skim over our words to each other it's like I can literally feel us getting closer, learning, growing, becoming better people because of what we give to each other. The future's still uncertain, but I know with all my heart that Edward and I will always be together.
How can I worry too much when I have him?
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
Halloween and Thanksgiving come and go and finally Edward and I have some time to ourselves. Wrapped in a blanket that helps fight the just-above-freezing temperatures outside our building, we cuddle on the loveseat. We could be inside the house, if we were sane, that's no doubt where we should be, but he wanted me to play for him, and of course I can't tell him no. There are a few space heaters cutting the chill of the air, but we still need to wear long sleeves and jeans, socks, too, but it's not too bad. Not that being close to Edward is ever bad.
"I've missed being out here with you," Edward whispers as he tightens his arms around me.
I roll over and hold his face in my hands, covering his mouth with mine. I nibble on his bottom lip, let my tongue sweep across the roof of his mouth before I massage his tongue with mine. I snap my hips toward his and he groans into my mouth. Without breaking apart, I nudge and move until we're sitting up and I'm straddling his thighs.
"Bella?" Edward asks, panting for breath. I don't let him catch it, instead, I plunge my tongue back in his mouth.
His hands are so warm as he slides them up my back, the cold late November air against my exposed skin makes me shiver … though it could be because he's so hard beneath me. I test my theory, rolling my hips forward and smile against his lips when he hisses. God, I love that. Making him crazy, seeing that wild, needy look in his eyes.
Such a turn-on.
Trailing my lips from his mouth to his neck, I press even closer. Arms around his neck, our chests tight against the other, his hand firmly on my ass moving me just like he likes it. It's a complete toss-up whether I like straddling like I am now or when he's on top of me better. Both have their advantages, but since I'm where I am at the moment, I make the best of it.
My hand slips between us and I watch his eyes roll when I grip him firmly in my hand.
"Fuck, oh Christ, that feels good, baby." The words are choppy, clipped and it spurs me on. Rubbing him through the denim I can feel him twitch beneath my fingers. I move to unbutton his jeans but he stills my hand with his.
"Wait, ah hell," he stutters because I don't listen and stretch my fingers so that the very tips graze his hard cock. He clenches his jaw and inhales deeply.
"You really want me to wait?" I question with an arched eyebrow and sexy smirk on my face.
"Fuck. Yes," he tries to say but then my thumb swipes through the bead of liquid seeping from the tip of his cock and he sucks in a breath between his teeth. His nostrils flare and his eyes darken until they're almost black.
"Edward?" I ask again as I curl my fingers around him.
"No, oh Christ, fuck no. Don't stop. Please don't stop."
I latch my mouth to his neck, flicking my tongue over the pulse that's flying beneath his skin. Then down lower, to the top of his shoulder and then to the hollow beneath his throat. I want him naked … want to be naked with him, but it's too cold out here for that. So instead, I shove my hand fully down his boxers, and use the moisture that's leaking to help my fingers move smoothly up and down.
He bucks his hips against me, and oh God, it feels so good. My free hand slips beneath his loose shirt and my fingers walk up his chest, then drag a fingernail across his nipple.
"Oh God." He moans. His head's thrown onto the back of the loveseat. His fingers are digging into my hips, holding me in place, like he never wants me to move. But I have every intention of moving. I slide off his lap, and kneel between his legs.
His jeans flipped open, I order, "Lift."
He snaps his head up, and I can tell the instant he realizes why. "Bella," my name falls from his mouth in a mixture of want and need and probably a little guilt because it's cold and I'm on my knees in front of him.
"Shhh," I tell him and then tug his jeans and his boxers down his legs. It's not the first time I've seen him this way, we've done pretty much everything sexually we can do besides the act itself, but I've only gone down on him a few times. I lick my lips and I hear this half groan half growl rumble deep in his chest.
I wrap my fingers around his shaft and lean forward, flattening my tongue so I can make one long lift from the base of his cock all the way to the tip. My other hand lays on his hip and I have to push to keep him still.
"Jesus Christ," Edward breathes as I take him into my mouth.
He's so hard and so big, and I'm still not used to moving and breathing, but it doesn't take long to find a rhythm that makes him whimper and still allows me to not gag myself. His hands fist in my hair and it feels so good when he pulls on it. His hips circle and my tongue does the same as it moves up and down. I suck harder and swirl my tongue with each movement.
He's panting and grunting and it's so hot. So, so hot to hear him lose control. A stream of naughty words, words that make me wet and tingly and have to rub my legs together, are uttered in between gasping breaths.
"Baby, holy hell, keep doing that," he begs when I hum around him.
"Is this okay?" he asks, his words stuttered and clipped. His hands are on the back of my head and he's thrusting into my mouth and although my jaw's starting to get sore and my lips numb, there's no way in hell I'm telling him no.
I look up at him, and nod, still keeping as much of him in my mouth as I can take. "Oh my fucking God, you look so hot like that. Jesus."
His eyes are wild, his cheeks flushed, and I love seeing him right on the brink of letting go. The muscles of his thighs flex and tighten and his shirt's been pushed up just enough so that I can see the trail of hair beneath his belly button. His entire body's wound tight and I can feel that he's aching to explode. His cock throbs in my mouth and he's so close to coming.
"Fuck, fuck … fuuuuck." He groans and writhes and then he stops moving. With one last hum and swirl of my tongue, he's gone, muttering, "Oh, God," and "yes, yes" over and over again. I keep my mouth on him until he's done. He doesn't move, just lays there breathing in and out, and I grab a tissue and wipe my mouth.
I love everything about Edward, but so not that.
I sit up higher and wipe him off, too, then tuck him back into his jeans. He pulls me up on his lap and he looks so sleepy, but very, very happy.
"God damn, baby, that was incredible," he says after he kisses me to show me just how grateful he is. "I love you so fucking much."
I curl up on his lap and we sit that way for a little while, not really talking much but doing plenty of kissing and touching.
"Hey, I need to ask you something," he tells me, sweeping my hair back from my face. "I started to ask you this earlier, but well, you know." He grins.
"What?"
He moves us so that I'm pressed against the back of the loveseat and he's facing me. Our legs are tangled, and he pulls the blanket tightly around us so that we're in our own little Edward/Bella bubble. I don't ever want to move. He smells so good, spicy, a little sweaty, and just all Edward. I nuzzle into the side of his neck and can't resist flicking my tongue against his skin and having a little taste.
"You are gonna kill me one of these days," he warns.
I smile against his neck.
"Fine, if you really want me to stop." I sigh dramatically.
He pulls back and looks directly into my eyes. "No, but what I really want to do is roll you over, rip your clothes off, and fuck you until the sun comes up, but I'm afraid we'll freeze to death before morning."
"Edward," I say and it sounds way more like an invitation than it's supposed to.
"I want you, Bella. So much. All the fucking time, you know? It drives me crazy." He groans and this time it's him that presses his nose against my shoulder. "Mom and Dad are going out of town in two weeks. They're spending the weekend in Seattle. Spend it with me?" I gasp and immediately my stomach is fluttering because holy hell … two whole days with Edward? He keeps going, like I need convincing. "I wanna know what it's like to have you in my bed, wake up next to you. It'll be just me and you. We can tell everyone we're going with them, whatever, I don't care. I just want you, no interruptions, no one bothering us, just me and you for two days. Please say yes."
I don't even have to think. "Yes."
"No shit? Just like that?" he asks.
I giggle a little bit and pull him closer to me. "Of course just like that. What? You don't think I want you, want to be with you, just as much? I want it, Edward. All of it, all of you."
"Jesus." He sighs, and then his mouth is on mine. We kiss for a few minutes, a promise of what's to come. "I can't wait to make to love to you, but it's not just that. You know that right?" I nod and he smiles, slow and sexy. "Granted, I can't fucking wait for it, but I really can't wait to fall asleep with you next to me and know you're going to be there when I wake up."
"I think about that all the time; what it'll be like after graduation and we can be together all the time."
He squeezes his arms around me and rests his chin on top of my head. "We're going to have the best life, Bella. I promise."
"I know," because there's nothing I've ever been more sure of than that.
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~~
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